Geral Blanchard, LPC, is a psychotherapist who is university trained in psychology and anthropology. Formerly of Wyoming and currently residing in Iowa, Geral travels the world in search of ancient secrets that can augment the art and science of healing. From Western neuroscience to Amazonian shamanism, he has developed an understanding of how to combine old and new healing strategies to optimize recovery, whether from psychological or physical maladies.
MDMA: Wham, Bam, Shazam, or Nothing Much?
Geral T. Blanchard • Dec 27, 2022
With so many anecdotes about the dramatic experiences folks have had with entheogens and psychedelics, a person may struggle when the impact of MDMA is, for the most part, subtle or under the radar.
Does this mean it wasn’t working on/in my brain? Why wasn’t my experience more like Timothy Leary’s or the Beatle’s – Lucy in the sky with diamonds? Did I not prepare myself well enough?
Some people lay quietly for hours in a deep calm state detecting little of what may be transpiring. Being without a racing brain (a default state of anxiety) feels alien and discombobulating (a neuroscience term). And, sometimes, that can be unsettling, even frightening. When quieting occurs it can be confused with “nothing’s happening.” Quite the opposite is usually the case. Any shift in the brain state from flying with eagles, talking with a deceased ancestor, or to quietude – whether subtle or resounding -- represent change. And change is what is being sought, moving out of stuck.
I’ve noted a few patterns among patients. Those who have really relied on their left-brain to handle life’s challenges – the scientific, non-fiction types like myself – may have difficulty exiting this mode. It has been so reliably available and seemingly protective, albeit not always comforting, that to allow it to shut off is difficult and even uncomfortable, at least at first. We may be reluctant to let our guard down and see where the medicine takes us. To go to the unaccustomed place of tranquility can be disconcerting, experienced like a negative reaction to the drug.
Others may feel like they are a failure or a loser because they didn’t fly to Jupiter and back during their treatment. Or they may be discouraged that they didn’t shapeshift into a leopard. It is as if they feel inadequate because their experience wasn’t as exotic as another person’s – oh the risk of comparing.
Still others – especially those persons with rich fantasy or dream lives – seem to have a different reaction to MDMA. They see symbols (vs. facts) that guide them to unusual sites, scenes, destinations, and conclusions that seem to hold answers. While this may seem silly to a very no-nonsense grounded person, it can be awesome and spiritually uplifting for the person with more of an otherworldy makeup.
Neurogenesis can begin with a blare, or it can start subtly. It really doesn’t matter in the long run as brain alterations are most assuredly happening under the radar.
Without the wham, bam, shazam of an LSD or DMT experience, you may feel disappointed…at first. Don’t let that discourage you from continuing your psychotherapy. Therapy, during and after treatments, is routinely found to be more insightful, fruitful, and rewarding than before MDMA. This should be heartening as it is proof that YOU, not just a magic medicine, can “do the trick.”
Remember the words of Buddhist author, Jack Kornfield who said, “After enlightenment, do the laundry.” The goal is not to spend every day floating among the stars, but resolving day to day issues and annoyances.
Some of the ways I have observed patient growth comes in the way they describe their new life. They say things like:
- I seem to be more of an observer of my life, not just a reactor to people and circumstances.
- I’m more resilient and bounce back faster following disappointments.
- It’s easier to see the “story behind the story” in people’s lives – the context or threads of their life narrative.
- I took a day off from doing. I took a long, long nap and didn’t feel guilty or unproductive; I felt like my brain and the rest of my body deserved a healing break.
- I multi-task less and can sit still with improved focus.
- I’m dreaming more, or differently. The themes are shifting.
- More time is being spent in Nature, noticing with awe and wonder all the beauty surrounding me that, in the past, I missed. I literally stop and smell the roses, noting the sunsets.
- I feel healthier, fall asleep easier, and have fewer stress headaches.
- I seem to be kinder and more understanding of people in my life; they tell me so. I’m more poised and steady too.
- I’m not so inclined to hurry on to the next thing, place, or event. Much like during my treatments I can sit with things -- savor and marinate in them.
- I’m loving people better, playing a lot more.
- Recently I’ve been painting and dancing more, reading less.
- Then there are the observations of anthropologist Mircea Eliade who studied ecstatic transcendent experiences in indigenous societies. He wrote about those persons who come to an “understanding of their wings”:
“We know that among peoples the soul is conceived of as a bird. Magical flight assumes the value of an ‘escape from the body’ – that is, it translates to ecstasy, the liberation of the soul, into plastic [flexible] terms. But while the majority of human beings are changed into birds only at the moment of death, when they forsake their bodies and fly into the air, shamans, sorcerers, and ecstatics…realize ‘emergence from the body’ in this world and as often as they wish. This myth of the bird-soul contains in germ a whole metaphysics of man’s spiritual autonomy and freedom.”
Look up for Raven, Eagle, Owl, and Butterfly.
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For some, life starts to resemble the words of Izumi Shikidu:
As I am deep in thoughts of love
A firefly floats up above the stream
Is it my soul lured out of me, yearning?
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Then there are Muhammad’ words: “If I had only two loaves of bread, I would barter one for hyacinths to nourish my Soul.”
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The end result of the MDMA journey is not always how it started. Whether it starts as pensive, reflective, or convulsively powerful, the destination is almost always the same – loving peacefulness.
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Other Topics
Basics of MDMA
Rituals and Ceremony
Brain and MDMA
Trauma
Heart
Energy Movement
Quantum Physics
Native Cosmologies
Nature
Spirituality/Enlightenment
Kogi Tribe
Books written by Geral T. Blanchard
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There can be two levels at which trauma is processed. The first tier may be a time of quiet denial or the dissociation of nearly all thoughts of how painful the past was. The body feels it, but the mind does not speak it. On the second level a person awakens to the entirety of it, often an unpredicted and sudden onslaught of previously suppressed details with extensive associated pain. When trauma is reconstituted at the second level it often happens unwillingly. A person may be swept away by an awakening that seems very ugly. It feels like too much to absorb in its entirety. The result is often to feel afraid, even shattered – at first. Now with everything out in the open, what must be done with it?
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Traumatized persons, with their pervasive pain, typically seek mood altering experiences. This can include ascetic restrictions, hedonistic over-eating, chemical dependency, sexual dependency, sexual anorexia or celibacy, romance addiction, relationship dependency, compulsive gambling, TV or movie binging, rock climbing, auto racing, reliance on antidepressants and/or antianxiety medications, religious addiction, and so much more that can serve to pacify, distract, and avoid unpleasant thoughts and feelings. By thrill-seeking, the higher the risks being engaged, the greater mood alteration one can experience. It’s a big dopamine splash and more.
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It’s impossible to talk about projection without incorporating a discussion about Sigmund Freud and Donald Trump. In this article I will skip Donald but throw in a little Carl Jung. Freud, of course, named several distinctive defense measures – reality distorting strategies to keep us safe. Two of the big ones are displacement and projection.
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