MDMA: Understanding Threads and Lights

Geral T. Blanchard • Sep 04, 2022

It’s quite well known that psychedelics, like psilocybin and LSD can, especially at their onset, generate impressive visual effects. 

Hallucinations are simply unfastened visions that are no longer anchored by external forces, circumstances, or societal perceptions. The mind “lets loose.” Another way of conceptualizing visionary experiences is to regard them as a way of receiving different or additional eyes, along with a new and different language – one that doesn’t rely on words.

These psychedelic visions – quite similar worldwide, across cultures and time -- may include bright colors in the form of flowing prisms or geometric designs. The technical term for them is form constants. Stanislav Grof has suggested that descriptions of recurring symbols may point to an intuitive comprehension (albeit somewhat vague) of universal cryptograms (secret codes) of esoteric texts -- almost like a subquantum field containing a complete record of everything that has happened in the universe stored in this suggestive form. Many people have attributed deep and profound spiritual implications to the forms and colors.


These psychedelic experiences, others argue, are caused by complex neurological and biochemical alterations that scramble our sensory apparatus, create different neural pathways, and are somewhat analogous to autism, synesthesia, or schizophrenia. It is human nature to want to explain such things from an established paradigm which could impart a sense of scientific accuracy, but that, it could be argued, is potentially a narrow and limiting perspective. Jonah Goldberg has written, “Science is wonderful at explaining what science is wonderful at explaining, but beyond that it tends to look for its car keys where the light is good.”


There also seems to be a need in us humans – perhaps spiritual or maybe even entertainment oriented -- that yearns for far-reaching or superstitious explanations for the seemingly inexplicable. We can’t quite settle for mystery and are compelled to shape visions into something personally appealing. For instance, when I learned that people born blind can see during a near death experience, I wondered what else might our brains and minds be innately capable of doing in tandem, particularly when “under the influence.”


Joseph Campbell hinted that there may be submerged parts of an iceberg resting below our western understanding of consciousness. He believed that much of what Freud and his disciples referenced in this regard -- like fears, immoral urges, shameful experiences, etc. -- reflected only a tiny smidgeon of what slumbered in the deep recesses of our subconscious and unconscious mind, a mind that we now think may be shared with a larger universal intelligence. With his characteristic Irish wit, Campbell suggested, “Freud was fishing for minnows while sitting on a whale.”

MDMA, an empathogen, does not offer a comparable extravaganza of lights to entertain us. This medicine offers feeling-enhancers and a special mode of perception in which the world of persons and objects is neither distorted nor left behind.

Claudio Naranjo wrote: “Everything becomes clearer, sharper, not only appearing to be more ‘present’ than usual, but with a density of formal relationships that creates the impression that each thing is a miracle of perfection even in its imperfections.” A larger appreciation and acceptance for life is grasped.


The colors and light patterns reported by many MDMA patients seem to have similar characteristics among them including possible veiled meanings. They may appear as threads of light, tunnels of light, sacred lights, glowing orbs, stars, auras, pinpoints of light emerging from cells of the body, or colorful swirling cones of energy, to name a few.


I’ve also heard descriptions of coordinated “squiggles” of energy with “synchronized patterned movements” hinting at opposites that partially divulge a hidden balance and order to life. “Gentle swaying strands” of sparkling light dots, or “tubes of light swaying in the wind,” have been described to me. For some they seem to hold old and connected fragments of information woven into their threads – almost like hidden insights or life clues awaiting discovery. One person, trying to find descriptive language for the visions said, “It was like the money tube at the bank’s drive-up window, information going back and forth.”


Perhaps we can best understand these MDMA images as our personal symbols, our custom-made way to decode complex phenomenon. Remember these symbols because they may carry individual significance for you, the seer, much like how we try to make sense of our dream world. Being generated from inside us, it is up to us to decide what they mean. But keep in mind, we are in the world and the world is in us, and this is a participatory universe. That begs the question, “Are these internal or external lights, or both, playing with each other?” After all, MDMA is notorious for being a relational enhancing drug, but not limited to human relations.


Or should we query, “Are these specters merely memes?” Memes can be regarded as stories, ideas, and ways of seeing things that we copy from person to person by imitation, perhaps in part due to cultural suggestion. And may some of the visions be reflective of a mental state of depression and despair at the time of ingestion? Still another possibility, are they part of an innate religious impulse, or a craving, that is hardwired in our brain circuitry?


Trying to explain such phenomenon can be a bit esoteric in nature. For now they remain mysterious displays that hint at a wide range of wonders, connections, and possibilities.


Tentatively, I will offer one seemingly reasonable hypothesis. The lights suggest energy movement that is altered or accelerated by the medicine. Perhaps what they also reveal is part of an energetic reconfiguration of the whole person, shedding or casting off heavy energies (hucha) that did not promote mental or physical health in our former emotional state. The lights may signify activation of the chakras or even epigenetic shifts in our DNA. I don’t know for sure.


Working with MDMA is both a scientific endeavor and an art form. It is an interpretive dance of sorts. Even with our personal certainty harvested from seeing the symbols, and with the additional insights gleaned from brain scans, we may, nevertheless, fail to comprehend the big mysteries we are participating in. Questions will likely remain. Maybe we will have to reconcile ourselves to being content simply with feeling better.


**********


“The purpose of art is to lay bare the questions that have been hidden by the answers.”

- James Baldwin

Download Article as PDF

*********



Geral Blanchard, LPC, is a psychotherapist who is university trained in psychology and anthropology. Formerly of Wyoming and currently residing in Iowa, Geral travels the world in search of ancient secrets that can augment the art and science of healing. From Western neuroscience to Amazonian shamanism, he has developed an understanding of how to combine old and new healing strategies to optimize recovery, whether from psychological or physical maladies.


Contact Geral ⤳



Other Topics


About the Author

Books written by Geral T. Blanchard

  • Epidemic Book Cover

    Sexual Abuse in America

    Photo By: John Doe
    Shop ⤳
  • More Articles

    male baby dark hair
    By Geral T. Blanchard 25 Aug, 2023
    In recent years psychotherapists have become increasingly aware of the risk of transmitting trauma intergenerationally. By examining the impact of the Holocaust, or the experiences of Native Americans who were systematically abused by colonizers including the Catholic Church, it becomes obvious that indirect passage of depression, despair, anxiety, and damaged self-regard are but a few of the ancestral legacies of uninterrupted abuse. If, however, trauma can be passed from generation to generation without direct experience, could it also be possible for the reverse to happen? Just as we have started to witness the reality of individual post-traumatic growth (PTG) – not just bouncing back after trauma but bouncing forward – could we entertain the concept of intergenerational growth (IG) – in other words, thriving from generation to generation?
    close up of eye green amber
    By Geral T. Blanchard 25 Aug, 2023
    There can be two levels at which trauma is processed. The first tier may be a time of quiet denial or the dissociation of nearly all thoughts of how painful the past was. The body feels it, but the mind does not speak it. On the second level a person awakens to the entirety of it, often an unpredicted and sudden onslaught of previously suppressed details with extensive associated pain. When trauma is reconstituted at the second level it often happens unwillingly. A person may be swept away by an awakening that seems very ugly. It feels like too much to absorb in its entirety. The result is often to feel afraid, even shattered – at first. Now with everything out in the open, what must be done with it? At the second level of awareness, it is almost impossible to go on pretending that everything is fine. No longer can the visuals and emotions be kept submerged. One wonders, “Damn it, will I ever get better?”
    man gambling drinking
    By Geral T. Blanchard 21 Aug, 2023
    Traumatized persons, with their pervasive pain, typically seek mood altering experiences. This can include ascetic restrictions, hedonistic over-eating, chemical dependency, sexual dependency, sexual anorexia or celibacy, romance addiction, relationship dependency, compulsive gambling, TV or movie binging, rock climbing, auto racing, reliance on antidepressants and/or antianxiety medications, religious addiction, and so much more that can serve to pacify, distract, and avoid unpleasant thoughts and feelings. By thrill-seeking, the higher the risks being engaged, the greater mood alteration one can experience. It’s a big dopamine splash and more. These are the adult versions of childhood thumb sucking, according to Dr. Harvey Milkman, the author of Craving for Ecstasy (the feeling of ecstasy, not the drug). Harvey pointedly said, “Growing up consists of finding the right substitute for your thumb.”
    older white man and woman smiling
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    There are many emotional reactions to a drug-free spiritual awakening experience and a ceremonial MDMA journey. While this article focuses on empathy – both the feeling and the cognitive component – it is obvious to those who have awakened from a spiritual emergency that a variety of related emotions arise. It is one thing to imagine how another person feels. Psychopaths, despite what the general public believes, are very good at empathy on an intellectual level. Even criminal psychopaths can put themselves in another person’s position and understand their perspective. It is bigger, better, and far healthier when empathy, in its deepest sense, allows us to “feel with” other people by recognizing a sense of oneness with them, what’s called unity consciousness. To hurt others would be to hurt ourselves.
    black and white projector old picture woman slides
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    It’s impossible to talk about projection without incorporating a discussion about Sigmund Freud and Donald Trump. In this article I will skip Donald but throw in a little Carl Jung. Freud, of course, named several distinctive defense measures – reality distorting strategies to keep us safe. Two of the big ones are displacement and projection. First, a definition of projection: This is evident when an individual attributes their own unacceptable impulses onto others. For example, a person might accuse others of engaging in thievery when, in fact, they are swindling money from their employer. Some of the behaviors and thoughts we are most ashamed of could be called shadows. We can see them first in other people before we can “call them out” in ourselves. We are defending against humiliation and mortification lest we be exposed.
    black car gear shift - stick shift
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    Does this empathogen work in a similar manner as psychedelics, blasting us off to a sudden and dramatic awakening of the mind and soul? Not necessarily. Much like massive stress, psychedelics and MDMA can knock people off an unhealthy path and offer them an entirely different trajectory, but there is a lot of arduous individual work that must follow the use of these propellants. So, could it be concluded that MDMA is a transcendent spiritual event -- a chemical event, or perhaps a neurological experience? By themselves, both seem unlikely. They can change activity in the brain, but enlightenment comes from hard work before and after their use. Entheogens and empathogens likely have a catalytic but not a primary casual effect in awakening.
    man words help me quit on hands
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    Many events in life can change us, some in profound ways, others somewhat superficially. Some positively, some negatively. Some temporarily, some permanently. Let’s break it down. With the “help” of psychology and the diagnoses of PTSD and C-PTSD, an entire trauma industry has developed. Much help has been delivered and, unfortunately, in many instances the assigned labels stick like glue and there can be difficulty relinquishing the newly imposed identity of “breakage.” Many life events are transformative:
    purple aqua cells
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    Many great minds have come out of India. Like countless spelling bee champions, Mahatma Gandhi, and Aurobindo Ghose who later took on the name of Sri Aurobindo. Sri Aurobindo became a highly regarded spiritual teacher and author in the twentieth century. His main insight was that what many humans experience during altered or higher states of consciousness are glimpses of the future of evolution. And, he contended, one day these states of expansion will be normal for the whole human race. Countless numbers of people are seeking the unity consciousness that MDMA can offer. It can make them feel bigger. And more deeply connected and powerful. Like many billions of tiny ants inching a fourteen-wheeler up a hill, every tiny bit of effort pulls the big rig along. Similarly, each one of the eight billion or so people residing on our planet today may, via a combined assemblage of singular efforts, raise their individual consciousness, while tugging the entire race forward.
    several clocks on a wall beads hanging orange sun
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    “Where did all the time go?” That is the ubiquitous question every patient asks after a treatment. They ingest the medicine at 9 a.m. and, after what seems like perhaps an hour or so but was actually five or six, and once the eye mask comes off there is bewilderment as to just how much time has passed. Of course, this is all built on the bedrock notion in Western culture that time is a straight line and linear manifestation. And that there is such a thing as time! Stepping out of existing paradigms, even if for a brief “time” can be eye opening while your eyes are closed. Traditional Native American cultures have long believed that time is a circular phenomenon. Remotely like the movie Groundhog Day suggests, every day is very similar and reoccurring like the last. In indigenous worldviews, the sun rises and the sun sets, routinely; we always have a predictable reset of sorts, the start of what we call a “new day,” or what Arapahos called “sleeps,” both reflecting measurements of time.
    dark forest
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    Dark nights of the soul as Saint John of the Cross called those long, despairing periods of our life, are never easy, in fact they are usually dreadful. They are so necessarily awful and so damn long because some of us don’t do subtlety very well. If we are open to these moments, even a tiny bit, they can serve as an internally calculated and blaring wakeup call that will guide us to solace. John Nelson, in Healing the Split, refers to a fleeting or ephemeral sense of a higher purpose, not fully conceptualized, but compellingly near the heart. It holds answers to life’s pain but isn’t quite within our grasp…at least until the dark clouds engulf us. Then, with great staying power and inexperience matched with trust, a spiritual emergence nears surface awareness. And it always happens, as psychiatrist Stan Groff defined it, around the time of a blurry spiritual emergency.
    Show More
    Share by: