MDMA and Reciprocity

Geral T. Blanchard • Jun 26, 2022

At the foundation of most indigenous cosmologies is the ethic of reciprocity. It is about an exchange of energy that we don’t wait for, but instead initiate.

The idea is to give to others without the primary motive of receiving anything in return, yet understanding that life tends to reciprocate if we are fair and generous.

The Q’ero people of Peru recognize that interpersonal relationships often cause harm. At the same time, relationships are central to any person’s recovery from painful social encounters. They believe that to promote anyone’s healing it is essential to support a return to their indispensable participation in upholding the deeply intertwined social and world order, lovingly participating with others – what they call ayni, or what can also be understood as reciprocity. To uphold one is too uphold all.


The Golden Rule – a consummate commandment worldwide -- suggests we do onto others as we would have them do onto us. Nice, but perhaps a bit narcissistic. The Platinum Rule, in contrast, suggests we do onto others as they would have us do onto them. A bit more altruistic. Even the concept of them, especially post-MDMA, might seem to fall a little short as it doesn’t recognize the interconnectedness of all of humanity like the Lakota words – mitakuye oyasin – that acknowledges the unity of “all my relatives.”


There is another old maxim: Don’t criticize a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins. But how can I put myself into the shoes of another if I am not fully aware of who is standing in my shoes. This is reminiscent of the medical dictum: Physician know thyself. And if we know ourselves – candidly admitting all the shortcomings and foibles – we are better prepared to empathize with the plight of others, especially those who have hurt us. Easy to say, or write, yet very difficult to do the work. That is, however, a process that is routinely supported by MDMA-assisted psychotherapy, when we realize our common humanity and, while thinking of our abuser(s) conclude, “Maybe it wasn’t such a personal act after all.” Building on that idea, one more maxim: Hurt people hurt people; wounded people wound people.


Ezra ben-Pesach (in Parabola magazine, Winter 2021-2022) asserts how when we love our neighbor as ourself, we recognize that at the core we are all comprised of the very same essence, souls constituted of God. When we love without judgment and limitation we see the divine infinite in others and, in turn, free ourselves from being judged and having well-defined boundaries.

Barriers of the ego do not exist at the deeper levels of humanity where mutual essence lives. In essence, we connect with our essence, with the God in ourselves and “others.”

This begs the vital question: Do I actually love myself? And if I can’t answer in the affirmative, the first order of business might be to commence a practice of self-compassion. That is the foundational work that must precede the kind of love ben-Pesach suggests. After that the interplay can begin.


Many spiritual and religious philosophies dating back thousands of years have promoted concepts of reciprocity. But on a local scale, resting in our enlarging heart, is this growing concept of give-and-take that is easily tapped during an MDMA session. Our hope, maybe our duty, is to keep that spirit of mutuality alive thereafter.


********


“All is change, all is exchange.”

- Evan Pritchard, No Word for Time: The Way of the Algonquin People


“What you would avoid suffering yourself, seek not to impose upon others.”

- Epictetus, Greek philosopher


“Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law of the Prophets.”

- Matthew 7:12


“Not one of you truly believes until you wish for others that which you wish for yourself.”

- Islam Prophet Mohammed Hadith


“It is by giving that we receive.”

- Saint Francis of Assisi

Download Article as PDF

*********


Additional Reading: Footer - Paragraph | 12 pt | Lora | Double Light Height

All Hyperlinks - Paragraph | 16 pt | Lora | Italic Underline  | Color  #bf7152


Geral Blanchard, LPC, is a psychotherapist who is university trained in psychology and anthropology. Formerly of Wyoming and currently residing in Iowa, Geral travels the world in search of ancient secrets that can augment the art and science of healing. From Western neuroscience to Amazonian shamanism, he has developed an understanding of how to combine old and new healing strategies to optimize recovery, whether from psychological or physical maladies.


Contact Geral ⤳



Other Topics


About the Author

Books written by Geral T. Blanchard

  • Epidemic Book Cover

    Sexual Abuse in America

    Photo By: John Doe
    Shop ⤳
  • More Articles

    male baby dark hair
    By Geral T. Blanchard 25 Aug, 2023
    In recent years psychotherapists have become increasingly aware of the risk of transmitting trauma intergenerationally. By examining the impact of the Holocaust, or the experiences of Native Americans who were systematically abused by colonizers including the Catholic Church, it becomes obvious that indirect passage of depression, despair, anxiety, and damaged self-regard are but a few of the ancestral legacies of uninterrupted abuse. If, however, trauma can be passed from generation to generation without direct experience, could it also be possible for the reverse to happen? Just as we have started to witness the reality of individual post-traumatic growth (PTG) – not just bouncing back after trauma but bouncing forward – could we entertain the concept of intergenerational growth (IG) – in other words, thriving from generation to generation?
    close up of eye green amber
    By Geral T. Blanchard 25 Aug, 2023
    There can be two levels at which trauma is processed. The first tier may be a time of quiet denial or the dissociation of nearly all thoughts of how painful the past was. The body feels it, but the mind does not speak it. On the second level a person awakens to the entirety of it, often an unpredicted and sudden onslaught of previously suppressed details with extensive associated pain. When trauma is reconstituted at the second level it often happens unwillingly. A person may be swept away by an awakening that seems very ugly. It feels like too much to absorb in its entirety. The result is often to feel afraid, even shattered – at first. Now with everything out in the open, what must be done with it? At the second level of awareness, it is almost impossible to go on pretending that everything is fine. No longer can the visuals and emotions be kept submerged. One wonders, “Damn it, will I ever get better?”
    man gambling drinking
    By Geral T. Blanchard 21 Aug, 2023
    Traumatized persons, with their pervasive pain, typically seek mood altering experiences. This can include ascetic restrictions, hedonistic over-eating, chemical dependency, sexual dependency, sexual anorexia or celibacy, romance addiction, relationship dependency, compulsive gambling, TV or movie binging, rock climbing, auto racing, reliance on antidepressants and/or antianxiety medications, religious addiction, and so much more that can serve to pacify, distract, and avoid unpleasant thoughts and feelings. By thrill-seeking, the higher the risks being engaged, the greater mood alteration one can experience. It’s a big dopamine splash and more. These are the adult versions of childhood thumb sucking, according to Dr. Harvey Milkman, the author of Craving for Ecstasy (the feeling of ecstasy, not the drug). Harvey pointedly said, “Growing up consists of finding the right substitute for your thumb.”
    older white man and woman smiling
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    There are many emotional reactions to a drug-free spiritual awakening experience and a ceremonial MDMA journey. While this article focuses on empathy – both the feeling and the cognitive component – it is obvious to those who have awakened from a spiritual emergency that a variety of related emotions arise. It is one thing to imagine how another person feels. Psychopaths, despite what the general public believes, are very good at empathy on an intellectual level. Even criminal psychopaths can put themselves in another person’s position and understand their perspective. It is bigger, better, and far healthier when empathy, in its deepest sense, allows us to “feel with” other people by recognizing a sense of oneness with them, what’s called unity consciousness. To hurt others would be to hurt ourselves.
    black and white projector old picture woman slides
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    It’s impossible to talk about projection without incorporating a discussion about Sigmund Freud and Donald Trump. In this article I will skip Donald but throw in a little Carl Jung. Freud, of course, named several distinctive defense measures – reality distorting strategies to keep us safe. Two of the big ones are displacement and projection. First, a definition of projection: This is evident when an individual attributes their own unacceptable impulses onto others. For example, a person might accuse others of engaging in thievery when, in fact, they are swindling money from their employer. Some of the behaviors and thoughts we are most ashamed of could be called shadows. We can see them first in other people before we can “call them out” in ourselves. We are defending against humiliation and mortification lest we be exposed.
    black car gear shift - stick shift
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    Does this empathogen work in a similar manner as psychedelics, blasting us off to a sudden and dramatic awakening of the mind and soul? Not necessarily. Much like massive stress, psychedelics and MDMA can knock people off an unhealthy path and offer them an entirely different trajectory, but there is a lot of arduous individual work that must follow the use of these propellants. So, could it be concluded that MDMA is a transcendent spiritual event -- a chemical event, or perhaps a neurological experience? By themselves, both seem unlikely. They can change activity in the brain, but enlightenment comes from hard work before and after their use. Entheogens and empathogens likely have a catalytic but not a primary casual effect in awakening.
    man words help me quit on hands
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    Many events in life can change us, some in profound ways, others somewhat superficially. Some positively, some negatively. Some temporarily, some permanently. Let’s break it down. With the “help” of psychology and the diagnoses of PTSD and C-PTSD, an entire trauma industry has developed. Much help has been delivered and, unfortunately, in many instances the assigned labels stick like glue and there can be difficulty relinquishing the newly imposed identity of “breakage.” Many life events are transformative:
    purple aqua cells
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    Many great minds have come out of India. Like countless spelling bee champions, Mahatma Gandhi, and Aurobindo Ghose who later took on the name of Sri Aurobindo. Sri Aurobindo became a highly regarded spiritual teacher and author in the twentieth century. His main insight was that what many humans experience during altered or higher states of consciousness are glimpses of the future of evolution. And, he contended, one day these states of expansion will be normal for the whole human race. Countless numbers of people are seeking the unity consciousness that MDMA can offer. It can make them feel bigger. And more deeply connected and powerful. Like many billions of tiny ants inching a fourteen-wheeler up a hill, every tiny bit of effort pulls the big rig along. Similarly, each one of the eight billion or so people residing on our planet today may, via a combined assemblage of singular efforts, raise their individual consciousness, while tugging the entire race forward.
    several clocks on a wall beads hanging orange sun
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    “Where did all the time go?” That is the ubiquitous question every patient asks after a treatment. They ingest the medicine at 9 a.m. and, after what seems like perhaps an hour or so but was actually five or six, and once the eye mask comes off there is bewilderment as to just how much time has passed. Of course, this is all built on the bedrock notion in Western culture that time is a straight line and linear manifestation. And that there is such a thing as time! Stepping out of existing paradigms, even if for a brief “time” can be eye opening while your eyes are closed. Traditional Native American cultures have long believed that time is a circular phenomenon. Remotely like the movie Groundhog Day suggests, every day is very similar and reoccurring like the last. In indigenous worldviews, the sun rises and the sun sets, routinely; we always have a predictable reset of sorts, the start of what we call a “new day,” or what Arapahos called “sleeps,” both reflecting measurements of time.
    dark forest
    By Geral T. Blanchard 20 Aug, 2023
    Dark nights of the soul as Saint John of the Cross called those long, despairing periods of our life, are never easy, in fact they are usually dreadful. They are so necessarily awful and so damn long because some of us don’t do subtlety very well. If we are open to these moments, even a tiny bit, they can serve as an internally calculated and blaring wakeup call that will guide us to solace. John Nelson, in Healing the Split, refers to a fleeting or ephemeral sense of a higher purpose, not fully conceptualized, but compellingly near the heart. It holds answers to life’s pain but isn’t quite within our grasp…at least until the dark clouds engulf us. Then, with great staying power and inexperience matched with trust, a spiritual emergence nears surface awareness. And it always happens, as psychiatrist Stan Groff defined it, around the time of a blurry spiritual emergency.
    Show More
    Share by: