Geral Blanchard Blog

MDMA and Intergenerational Growth

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 21:57:41 GMT

In recent years psychotherapists have become increasingly aware of the risk of transmitting trauma intergenerationally.

By examining the impact of the Holocaust, or the experiences of Native Americans who were systematically abused by colonizers including the Catholic Church, it becomes obvious that indirect passage of depression, despair, anxiety, and damaged self-regard are but a few of the ancestral legacies of uninterrupted abuse. If, however, trauma can be passed from generation to generation without direct experience, could it also be possible for the reverse to happen?

Just as we have started to witness the reality of individual post-traumatic growth (PTG) – not just bouncing back after trauma but bouncing forward – could we entertain the concept of intergenerational growth (IG) – in other words, thriving from generation to generation?

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First, let’s examine some cultural forces that spawn trauma:

Historical trauma – being removed from their homeland, their burial places, having religious expression and language denied, sacred sites being pillaged, public hangings, etc. It is what people have known and felt, what became rooted in their psychology, and was genetically stored and expressed over hundreds of years or more. We can learn a great deal about people’s future mental health by analyzing what gave rise to inherited patterns of abuse, the stories that were passed on, and what was eventually converted into their family or culture’s DNA.

Systematic trauma of an entire cultural group by dominant agents of power – police brutality, sexually assaultive priests, governmental oppression, indigenous people being shut out of climate discussions, slavery, LGBTQ+ hate, etc. – can leave an entire group of people feeling as if they are lacking, shameful, powerless, and marginalized. Scars can not only befall the persecuted but also the persecutors, both of which can transmit their emotional states forward for generations to come.

It is no longer questioned whether trauma can be transmitted from generation to generation. Now we are acknowledging internalized messages that life is unsafe and unfair, that an entire group of people is unfit for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The implications are that these ideas can be encoded in people’s bodies (“the body keeps the score”) and can be vertically transmitted. Unconsciously the residue of the past is imparted to descendants – imprinted in their cellular memory. It’s like looking at life through very selective, fear-based, and traumatic lenses. It is a perspective that gets passed on to the children, and their children, and…

So, if trauma is contagious, and it certainly is, instead of passing forward meager survival skills, perhaps the remarkable thriver, an outlier, can pass health forward. If a person can “catch” a disease, they might also be able to “catch” good health.

The latter can be received by developing a strong psychological immune system, experiencing robust cellular growth, by a high-firing neurological system that has undergone neuroplasticity (physical changes), or longstanding expressions of cultural pride.

When one person interrupts the historical chain of events and “upsets the applecart,” it is theoretically possible that intergenerational transmission of pain can be extinguished. It starts with that one individual who fearlessly examines and challenges their personal pain, their unhealthy family patterns, and finds meaning, growth, and direction hidden in the suffering.

It can happen in groups as well with truth and reconciliation tribunals, collective storytelling, strengthening old rituals, resumption of religious activity, etc. By integrating old ways into the “now of recovery” social groups can be fully available to lift each other up. In this manner vertical transmission is being supplanted by horizontal transmission via personal, group, and cultural empowerment.

What awaits trauma victims is the more immediate person-to-person rewards of PTG that cause a rapid evolutionary leap forward. It can psychologically inoculate spouses and descendants from similar pain in their future, what I refer to as future retrieval .

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“We can stop the inherited suffering and pass along the wisdom without the pain attached. That’s the beauty of epigenetics – and the promise of posttraumatic growth.”

- Dr. Edith Shiro in The Unexpected Gift of Trauma

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MDMA - the Trauma of Awakening to Trauma

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 21:30:17 GMT

There can be two levels at which trauma is processed.

The first tier may be a time of quiet denial or the dissociation of nearly all thoughts of how painful the past was. The body feels it, but the mind does not speak it. On the second level a person awakens to the entirety of it, often an unpredicted and sudden onslaught of previously suppressed details with extensive associated pain. When trauma is reconstituted at the second level it often happens unwillingly. A person may be swept away by an awakening that seems very ugly. It feels like too much to absorb in its entirety. The result is often to feel afraid, even shattered – at first. Now with everything out in the open, what must be done with it?

At the second level of awareness, it is almost impossible to go on pretending that everything is fine. No longer can the visuals and emotions be kept submerged. One wonders, “Damn it, will I ever get better?” That part of oneself abandoned years ago, that part which was paralyzed by dread and over-controlled behaviors, is now at a raw level of vulnerability perhaps not known perhaps since childhood. There is the panic of breaking out of secrecy with its isolation because of the risk of feeling mortified, broken, and ashamed. Yet a heartfelt need for understanding, acceptance, and support is also desired. What to do?

The child inside clamors for a form of dependent parental care, the kind that was unavailable in early developmental stages. Now the awakening adult victim, beset with floodgates of memories opening, wants and almost demands to be cared for by someone resembling the parent they never had. In the process, they can drain the vitality of people close to them creating reactions that lead to further isolation.

This is often a time when MDMA can be helpful as it calms emotions while examining newfound memories of pain. The medicine seems to assist people in the process of partialization , slowly breaking down events to “bite-size” chunks of insights and understanding.

In this way the patient is less likely to feel overwhelmed as the attending psychotherapist slowly titrates information into the psyche. Together the therapist and attendant provide a safe container – setting – to excavate dark memories while, at the same time, bearing witness to events thereby validating them.

One of the helpful factors MDMA affords is its knack for ferreting out truths, not falsehoods, exaggerations, or confabulations. Eventually some of the drama that often comes with a blast of unpleasant visualizations is tamped down. Exploring recovered details, without any therapist contamination of facts, allows a person to get past the fear and judgment stage and closer to resolution. When this process unfolds in a sacred ceremonial environment, the set and setting yield helpful insights regarding the motives of all the actors. And with it the chance for the release of undeserved guilt along with a healthy integration of the trauma.

During this reverent and well-managed process, the vagus nervous system quiets down. It doesn’t run away with its usual agenda of exaggerated emotionality and the misreading of social information. With this calming, defensive walls drop in accord with just how much information a person senses they can grapple with at the time. Victims often move from denial, to recalling or even inviting, challenging information. Not only can they safely immerse themselves in the recall of “dark nights,” they can move away from the false sense of normalcy that had previously been worn.

Psychological defense mechanisms and coping methods (including addictions) are now seen more accurately, as short-term fixes that helped them get by day-to-day but did little to heal underlying wounds. This healing process becomes an “inside job” of the heart and the mind working in coordination with each other. To fully heal every victim, as trauma expert Judith Herman taught, they must “see the damage” first. The bravery required, accompanied by the softening effects of MDMA, is unlikely to result in dysregulation. There will be fewer dramatic mood swings, less defensive anger, less shame-based rage. A possible soul retrieval.

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“Your vision will become clearer only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”

- Carl Jung

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MDMA, Morality, and Forward Thinking

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 02:57:28 GMT

Traumatized persons, with their pervasive pain, typically seek mood altering experiences.

This can include ascetic restrictions, hedonistic over-eating, chemical dependency, sexual dependency, sexual anorexia or celibacy, romance addiction, relationship dependency, compulsive gambling, TV or movie binging, rock climbing, auto racing, reliance on antidepressants and/or antianxiety medications, religious addiction, and so much more that can serve to pacify, distract, and avoid unpleasant thoughts and feelings. By thrill-seeking, the higher the risks being engaged, the greater mood alteration one can experience. It’s a big dopamine splash and more.

These are the adult versions of childhood thumb sucking, according to Dr. Harvey Milkman, the author of Craving for Ecstasy (the feeling of ecstasy, not the drug). Harvey pointedly said, “Growing up consists of finding the right substitute for your thumb.” Harvey clarified: “Dependence means that after repeated exposure to an event that decreases neuronal activity in the brain, a person leans on that experience in order to feel adjusted or normal.” Dependency is about getting “hooked” on an indulgent satiation activity (calmative) that covers up subjective distress. That distress may have its origins in childhood abuse, a natural disaster, interpersonal violence, chronic illness, and so on.

Unfortunately, with most forms of dependency, a person will make decisions that are deceptive, manipulative, and may harm themselves and others. That can lead to immense guilt. Further, if one is labeled as an “addict,” shame (the sense of absolute worthlessness) can kick in. Morality takes a back seat to the power of dependency. Making amends or apologizing, which is a fundamental tenet of 12-Step programs, may assuage some guilt, but the more difficult task is to challenge core shame that is developed by feelings of being damaged goods and deeply flawed – whether from early life abuse or from circumventing societal and personal morality.

MDMA can help people face the dereliction of their personal values and interpersonal code of conduct. It does so by softening the powerful emotional attachments to harsh judgments which, if left unchallenged, only increase self-disdain and promote an addictive cycle. MDMA doesn’t lower standards but lowers defensive walls and with it, denial. This cunning and gentle empathogen can help a person stare down their wearisome acts, errant thinking, and self-persecutorial lambasting.

Next, many patients reset their core sense of self by owning their mistakes and hurtful ways with absolute clarity, no minimization. Simultaneously they make a commitment to face all that is difficult and frightening in their life post-trauma, while simultaneously reaffirming their deepest core values. In this way they realize not only how they have violated others, but how they dishonored their best and most virtuous parts – the result being shame. Patients discover something richer, more treasured, and worth living for, namely their “golden shadow” that Jung wrote about.

Discovery of the divine that lives in all of us provides a reboot to life. With that as a supportive and guiding force, there isn’t such a compelling need to hide, isolate, lie, and distract oneself. What was once a breakdown is now seen as a potential shift-up.

A more thoughtful, insightful, and nonautomatic self begins to emerge during a ceremonial MDMA treatment which, ideally, is followed by regular psychotherapy. Because MDMA does not cause a loss of conscious awareness, it allows for a self-examination of the kind not previously attempted. Before there wasn’t the courage, or even a template, for this kind of work.

During an MDMA session, patients counsel themselves. Later they use a psychotherapist’s collaboration to further uphold the insights and guidance acquired. Therapy keeps resuscitating all that is the best in this person, meaning a core authentic, secure, and innocent set of virtues previously smothered and squelched during their childhood -- a time that was filled with confusion, fear, betrayal, and injury. For optimal results, the patient must always work harder than the therapist.

Beyond that, there is the matter of becoming a substantial moral being, by one’s own standards which, when “under the influence” of this truth-revealing medicine. The medicine promotes pro-social activity and enhanced compassion for others, but also for oneself. Remember, this is an empathogen, a relational medicine that helps social beings become more social, less selfish.

Ending the Faustian bargain with the devil, much to the patient’s surprise, next comes this realization: It is the goodness uncovered in me that will deliver me.

Paradoxically, old scaffolding of supportive yet codependent people -- external sources of support -- are nowhere near as useful as what you will resurrect from within your core being – that same place where shame arose. Ironically, shame can be seen as arising from violating one’s own values – that best part of themselves. While they never intended to look inward, deeply, it was during a lonely “dark night of the soul” with its painful reckoning, that they realized they must deliver themselves, free themselves. This comes with less reliance on others, and with that comes a humble pride, the opposite of shame.

Virtually every shame-based person has not only become angry at others -- who might have seen through them, or confronted them, they have unmercifully raged in their direction. That only leads to more shame because the “loved ones” become abused ones. With assistance from MDMA, shame diminishes, and with it, associated rage declines too. That’s the way of it.

Maybe at this painful time in their life a comprehensive self-examination and thorough healing may occur. The isolating sense of “I” can be replaced by a connecting “We.” As Muhammad Ali said, “I went from ‘me’ to ‘we,’ and then to ‘whee!’” He went from being an angry pugilist to a world statesman. It’s in all of us.

May the light of your true spirit break through.

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MDMA and Empathy

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 23:44:38 GMT

There are many emotional reactions to a drug-free spiritual awakening experience and a ceremonial MDMA journey.

While this article focuses on empathy – both the feeling and the cognitive component – it is obvious to those who have awakened from a spiritual emergency that a variety of related emotions arise.

It is one thing to imagine how another person feels. Psychopaths, despite what the general public believes, are very good at empathy on an intellectual level . Even criminal psychopaths can put themselves in another person’s position and understand their perspective. It is bigger, better, and far healthier when empathy, in its deepest sense, allows us to “feel with” other people by recognizing a sense of oneness with them, what’s called unity consciousness . To hurt others would be to hurt ourselves.

Psychotherapists who have worked with MDMA not only see enhanced empathy among patients, but they note a linking and awakening effect in other emotional realms too – all positive. For example, if a person can empathize, they have the ability to understand . That insightfulness – perhaps regarding the reasons why hurt people hurt people -- can give rise to compassion . With compassion a bonding often occurs. When we bond or unify with the human (and other animals) race, we see differences dissolve along with negativity, hatred, and the desire to seek revenge. That process allows harmony to be felt. With that comes the capacity to forgive . Put it all together and the recipe for love has been fashioned.

Not just a love for all our human and animal relatives, but for all things in our world, even the seemingly inanimate “objects” that, in accord with indigenous knowledge, have life and spirit coursing through them. And this is not simply a familial or romantic love, but a kind of love that is freely extended far and wide, but never in foolish ways. This variety of love is what the Greeks called agape , an extraordinarily generous, altruistic, and unselfish love that seeks nothing in return. It’s an impulse to serve; the rewards rest in giving itself, without any motive other than supporting one’s community or mankind in general. In this expanded state of consciousness, a person just can’t help but express care for everyone. In doing so it connects and completes them.

With this sense of connection and an inner quieting, a physical and emotional well-being – contentedness – often unfolds.

Adversarial sentiments diminish, competitiveness is reduced, wanting is lessened, feelings of dread along with the fear of death are often lowered, excessive guilt softens its grip, while negativity and judgmentalness subside as well. Some participants report a declining desire to accumulate “stuff” and shift toward contribution. They don’t “mask up” when going out in public. Simultaneously, many experience an upsurge of creativity, peace, authenticity, inner security, equanimity, gratitude, social engagement, and self-acceptance.

Oh, it’s not that way for absolutely everyone, but common enough to mention here. This is an old and atrophied energy – the creative energy of the universe -- that has been lying dormant and unrealized until now.

It is now apparent that this positive cascading effect is a realistic prospect following a natural spiritual awakening or a safe MDMA ceremonial treatment. But the magic isn’t in the medicine. It is in you and always has been. The medicine simply opens you up to your original childlike freedom, your core, more innocent self. Appreciating all these positive emotions, like empathy, can be maintained by ongoing spiritual guidance or psychotherapy.

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MDMA and the Evolution of Projection

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 23:28:32 GMT

It’s impossible to talk about projection without incorporating a discussion about Sigmund Freud and Donald Trump. In this article I will skip Donald but throw in a little Carl Jung.

Freud, of course, named several distinctive defense measures – reality distorting strategies to keep us safe. Two of the big ones are displacement and projection .

First, a definition of projection : This is evident when an individual attributes their own unacceptable impulses onto others. For example, a person might accuse others of engaging in thievery when, in fact, they are swindling money from their employer. Some of the behaviors and thoughts we are most ashamed of could be called shadows . We can see them first in other people before we can “call them out” in ourselves. We are defending against humiliation and mortification lest we be exposed.

This is the very thing Freud, the self-anointed “Father of Psychology,” did to Jung when his habit of putting Freud on a pedestal began to wane. Once the mentor of Jung, Freud witnessed Jung becoming more self-assured, especially when he was forging ideas that challenged some of those developed by his father figure. It got to the point when, on several occasions while in Jung’s presence, Sigmund was overshadowed by Jung’s brilliance and Freud’s own shadow side rose to the forefront which resulted in him fainting in public. It was that threatening to examine his own vulnerabilities; much safer to be the great therapist and teacher than a mere mortal, a human being.

Next a definition of displacement : In this instance, an impulse directed at one person or object is shifted to another more acceptable substitute person or object. For example, when a child strikes an older brother -- seemingly out of the blue – rather than risk expressing anger at a parent, a transfer of pent-up emotions may occur. The recipient is left to ask, “What the hell was that about?”

In a way, these seemingly irrational behaviors have an emotional logic of their own. It only becomes abnormal when it interferes with our social functioning, often pushing people away from us.

Then, if the defenses remain high, more of the same is done, but in a louder or more forceful way until such time that personal awareness finally kicks in. This requires a simultaneous strengthening of the ego to acknowledge how vulnerable a person feels. Psychologist Brene’ Brown writes masterfully about this suggesting that dropping defenses, namely daring to be vulnerable, is, paradoxically, the way out.

In Louis Breger’s huge volume, Freud: Darkness in the Midst of Vision , he talks about how Freud was tormented in the role of healer while needing so much healing himself. According to Breger’s interpretation, Freud believed that “women were failed men,” they were at “a lower ethical level than males,” that “the principal source of anxiety in childhood was the threat of castration,” and “religion was a group neurosis.”

Freud’s personal letters revealed “a striking absence of relationships with girls and women” over the years, indeed, Freud seemed to require emotional distance from most women. “He also thought that masturbation was especially harmful when coupled with fantasy.” Freud, and only Freud, claimed to fully understand these matters. Along the way, allegations arose that he had an incestuous relationship with his daughter, Anna, and that he was suffering from two mood altering addictions: cocaine and tobacco.

Jung wanted and needed Freud to be the strong and loving father he never had. Freud, according to Breger, wanted Jung to be his adopted son. When Jung became strong and confident in his own theoretical adaptations, and when he challenged Freud to look at his own faults, Freud became very threatened. He cruelly labeled Jung as being “sanctimonious,” as well as “mentally deranged to a serious extent,” and broke off their relationship. In fact, “The labels of paranoia and insanity were routinely applied to those who challenged Freud and his doctrines.” Better to reject than be rejected. Better to accuse than be accused. Oh, the power of labeling! Projection? Displacement?

Berger again: “Freud felt so disappointed, betrayed, and let down by friends and followers that in his late years, he turned to more trustworthy companions: pet dogs.” And, of his infidelity to his own principles, Berger had this to say: “A great many of his cases revealed the tremendous gap between the way he said an analyst should practice and the way he acted.”

Berger: “Freud’s therapeutic style left a great deal of the patient’s emotional life untouched. He did not place any value on catharsis.” Freud misunderstood many of his patients and, as a result of his own defenses, never seemed to meet his own “shadow side,” as Jung would call it.

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Secrets, shame, and their resultant rage often get in the way of full disclosure, ownership of problems, making amends, and final redemption. If Freud could not discover himself, certainly most people could be cut a little slack if they are delayed in the process of self-discovery.

It may be that with defensive walls being lowered by MDMA, and with a heart that swells with compassion for self and others, healing becomes more possible than ever before. But note, if guilt and shame are present in copious amounts, a spiritual awakening may not always be the blissful and easy transition that many seekers imagine. Like physicians often say to patients undergoing a challenging procedure: You might feel worse before you get better.

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MDMA and Shifting Gears

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 23:15:29 GMT

Does this empathogen work in a similar manner as psychedelics, blasting us off to a sudden and dramatic awakening of the mind and soul?

Not necessarily. Much like massive stress, psychedelics and MDMA can knock people off an unhealthy path and offer them an entirely different trajectory, but there is a lot of arduous individual work that must follow the use of these propellants.

So, could it be concluded that MDMA is a transcendent spiritual event -- a chemical event, or perhaps a neurological experience? By themselves, both seem unlikely. They can change activity in the brain, but enlightenment comes from hard work before and after their use. Entheogens and empathogens likely have a catalytic but not a primary casual effect in awakening.

An important distinction has been made between readying shifts and a final triggering shift . Steve Taylor, author of The Leap: The Psychology of Spiritual Awakening clarifies this. Over a period of years, a person might be preparing themselves for spiritual ascendency by reading books, meditating, talking the talk, or traveling the world to spend time with spiritual leaders or gurus. They are the committed ones who are making slow changes, but more importantly, readying themselves to shift gears, to transcend their normal level of consciousness, perhaps with the help of a medicine. In essence they are working to more fully imagine and eventually develop a new self-system.

When, however, life stressors catapult them into a desperate stage, some people will look to MDMA or a psychedelic to get them “over the hump.”

While a lengthy spiritual practice forms the fertile soil for a shift, something more might have to occur to move them more suddenly. Like many areas of human experience, readiness is important.

Because entheogens and empathogens are basically dissolutive , they may quickly dissolve one’s traditional way of thinking, at least momentarily, and lay the groundwork – create space -- for the emergence of a new self. The homework that precedes a drug experience is the real change agent. MDMA, as one example, like conventional forms of therapy can slowly do, may quickly unlock a person’s transformational potential that has been frozen in turmoil or trauma.

By itself, addictively seeking spiritual development, or an awakening effort itself, can be problematic. Too often it is a rigid egoic process during which a person sets their intentions on becoming godlike. For many it is comparable to setting other lofty goals, perhaps becoming a multimillionaire, developing into a world-renowned philosopher or author, or being recognized as a powerful and revered healer. There are many stories of spiritual seeking that boil down to an avoidant and diversionary tactic. In these instances, a person immerses themself in the intellectual pursuit of spiritual practices as a way of escaping more earthly difficulties, psychological issues, and oftentimes unresolved trauma. In such cases, spiritual seeking becomes counterproductive, taking these individuals even further away from internal harmony, human intimacy, and personal well-being. What is often missing is the courage to “bottom out,” the ability to surrender – to let their old scaffolding collapse into a heap when reconstruction can begin.

It may be that there isn’t such a thing as a drug-created and sudden spiritual awakening. It might be more accurate to conclude a drug can facilitate a gateway moment when there is a sudden envisioning of another way of living that was preceded by a longstanding desire to see the universe another way. It is an unnoticed incremental unfolding that is behind what looks sudden. Steve Taylor put it this way: “Even though awakening may seem to occur suddenly, the process is a gradual one…a long process of cooling takes place to reach the point when water ‘suddenly’ freezes. These changes may be so gradual that they are imperceptible, or they may take place unconsciously, below the surface. It’s only the final stage of the process – what appears to be the sudden moment of awakening – that is obvious or experienced consciously.”

Psychedelics, and even MDMA, can be deceptive. It is important to understand that entheogens and empathogens are not a permanent means of experiencing what they offer people temporarily. They simply show us, or clarify, the place we have been heading for, but they do not provide the means, nor do they do the work required to get us there. They offer a clearer vision of the destination but do not spell out the route. The map becomes a problem when we spend all our time looking at it. At this juncture we must act our way into a new way of feeling , a new way of arriving .

Taylor summarizes: “In my view, therefore, the idea that you can chemically engineer a state of wakefulness through technology or drugs – and the idea that wakefulness is fundamentally a neurological state – is as false as the idea that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance that can be cured by drugs.”

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MDMA and Core Changes

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 22:16:35 GMT

Many events in life can change us, some in profound ways, others somewhat superficially.

Some positively, some negatively. Some temporarily, some permanently. Let’s break it down.

With the “help” of psychology and the diagnoses of PTSD and C-PTSD, an entire trauma industry has developed. Much help has been delivered and, unfortunately, in many instances the assigned labels stick like glue and there can be difficulty relinquishing the newly imposed identity of “breakage.”

Many life events are transformative:

Trauma , which can be harmful or uplifting. When the latter result occurs, it is called post-traumatic growth or PTG. The impact of a traumatic act(s) is usually secondary to how a person responds (vs. reacts) to the trauma. And surprisingly, the more severe the trauma, the greater chance of a PTG diagnosis (see my book Transcending Trauma ).

Near-Death Experiences (NDEs) which come on suddenly, eventually tend to elicit profound growth experiences with greatly enhanced social relationships based in a deeper love, along with enrichment of the person’s spirituality, and a diminished fear of death – their own and others.

Psychedelics can in the short run encourage a new way of seeing things. However, more often than not, they are not life changing. Hallucinations – occurring with some synthetic psilocybin and ibogaine exceptions – by themselves, rarely bring about a dramatic and lasting shift in values, perspective, and lifestyle.

Major illnesses like cancer, that of course can lead to death, yet, on the other end of the spectrum, to thriving. There is a strong research derived association between cancer and PTG with documentation of enhanced relationships, increased self-confidence, and greater appreciation for life following the diagnosis. The severity of cancer’s trauma offers a great deal of spiritual potential, even if it sometimes comes at the very end of this earthly existence.

Enlightening dreams , which may be vivid, entertaining, and meaningful, can have a positive impact and propel growth, although their benefits tend to fade away rather quickly.

Sudden awakenings , or even a slow onset that culminates in “holy shit!” moments, can generate ego dissolving effects and permanent life shifts in positive directions. Illuminating insights tend to occur, a release of pent-up emotional pain (sometimes even physical ailments) is common, a deep and more meaningful connection with Nature unfolds, and life feels more reverent and sacred thereafter. The changes may be permanent, altering life in a new direction without any prompting by drugs. And they are frequently triggered by grief, incarceration (not solitary isolation), and even battlefront war experiences.

Ceremonial use of pure MDMA , typically leads to a softening of trauma’s impact, a life review with dramatic and heartwarming changes in personality, and it may be one of the most intensely rewarding and lasting kinds of transformation observed. Far more than a momentary “high,” this non-psychedelic empathogen can give rise to a dramatic change in outlook -- the expression of more acceptance, warmth, compassion, and empathy -- even altering the brain’s neurological functioning for the better – neurogenesis and neuroplasticity .

Extensive suffering, turmoil, and severe trauma hold significant potential for individual growth. That contrasts with conventional Western thinking that intense suffering is the prelude to one’s downfall.

For example, one study of war veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan found that the more combat they were exposed to, the more likely they were to experience PTG. Like many people, they underwent a spiritual awakening after they came face to face with death.

Living in the cramped space of ego can cause an eventual explosion, a release, that leaves individuals with far fewer psychological attachments. Enlightenment, it turns out, is not about gaining something, it is all about what we lose or almost lose, what we are willing to let go of.

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“Soul does not abolish the difficulty of our lives, but brings music to our pains – its gift is to make us less perfect and more whole.” - John Tarrant in The Light Inside the Dark

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MDMA and Evolution

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 21:10:02 GMT

Many great minds have come out of India. Like countless spelling bee champions, Mahatma Gandhi, and Aurobindo Ghose who later took on the name of Sri Aurobindo.

Sri Aurobindo became a highly regarded spiritual teacher and author in the twentieth century. His main insight was that what many humans experience during altered or higher states of consciousness are glimpses of the future of evolution. And, he contended, one day these states of expansion will be normal for the whole human race.

Countless numbers of people are seeking the unity consciousness that MDMA can offer. It can make them feel bigger. And more deeply connected and powerful. Like many billions of tiny ants inching a fourteen-wheeler up a hill, every tiny bit of effort pulls the big rig along. Similarly, each one of the eight billion or so people residing on our planet today may, via a combined assemblage of singular efforts, raise their individual consciousness, while tugging the entire race forward.

Evolution is being expedited these days, because of the power of epigenetics – the modification of gene expression. If consciousness is at the core of “matter,” and if we can change or transcend our current state of consciousness, what might happen to the mind, nature, and form of humans? Could we become more united and more peaceful?

Sri Aurobindo was into what he called “integral yoga,” a spiritual practice. He sought out a yogi for guidance and experienced an awakening while sitting with his instructor. He momentarily felt a state of pure form, formless consciousness during which there was “only just absolutely That – a featureless indescribable, unthinkable, yet supremely real [something].” During the experience there was also an “inexpressible peace, a stupendous silence, an infinity of release and freedom.” And much of this came to him in solitude – in an appalling prison where he was placed in solitary confinement.

Out of his suffering and altered state he did not go insane as many prisoners do. Instead, Sri Aurobindo was met with an “imperturbable poise,” what some would call equanimity – observing without impulsively reacting. The rest of his time in prison he was locked up in a state of bliss, free of many forms of mental confinement. And upon release, he devoted himself to serving humanity – wanting to liberate all human beings from psychological suffering. But most of all, his greatest goal was to help manifest the next stage of human consciousness.

When severe trauma with its intense suffering and deprivations strips people of their earthly attachments and causes them to be attached instead to pain relievers (addictive substances and experiences), extraordinary awakenings can occur.

As research has shown, often out of the most egregious maltreatment and torment victims rise up stronger than before. These “shifters” experience posttraumatic growth (PTG) rather than PTSD. They evolve, moving from survivors to thrivers, and often by their example tug open-minded brethren along with them.

Now we are talking about evolving out of a cultural form of suffering consciousness . Often with the initial “help” of traumas (yes!), followed by a sacred empathogen or entheogen experience, a person can flow with changes by keeping their core consciousness activated. It is a subtle awareness that remains aligned with universal creative rhythms and ascendent forces, the innate gift they entered this world with but lost track of over the years.

As Steve Taylor wrote in The Leap , “The best way to think of naturally wakeful people is to see them as rare ‘evolutionary throw-forwards.’ Wakeful people can be seen as the early representatives of a state of more expansive awareness that will one day become normal to all human beings. They’re early manifestations of the evolutionary leap that our species may be undergoing, and a sign that it’s occurring.”

All things considered, it may be that trauma is not as simple as a guaranteed sign of a person’s demise. It may, if dealt with responsively vs. reactively, be as Taylor wrote, “…an impulse to awaken in an organic way as agents of evolution, helping to intensify the shift that is already underway. Our own self-evolution contributes to the process of evolution itself.”

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MDMA and Timelessness

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 20:12:10 GMT

“Where did all the time go?” That is the ubiquitous question every patient asks after a treatment.

They ingest the medicine at 9 a.m. and, after what seems like perhaps an hour or so but was actually five or six, and once the eye mask comes off there is bewilderment as to just how much time has passed. Of course, this is all built on the bedrock notion in Western culture that time is a straight line and linear manifestation. And that there is such a thing as time! Stepping out of existing paradigms, even if for a brief “time” can be eye opening while your eyes are closed.

Traditional Native American cultures have long believed that time is a circular phenomenon. Remotely like the movie Groundhog Day suggests, every day is very similar and reoccurring like the last. In indigenous worldviews, the sun rises and the sun sets, routinely; we always have a predictable reset of sorts, the start of what we call a “new day,” or what Arapahos called “sleeps,” both reflecting measurements of time. The “past” creates the “present” which presumably builds a “future.” Maybe all three are interlinked, all three are one. So, in a sense, the future has already happened, indeed, because the past is still happening, now.

And from this perspective the predictive visions of Crazy Horse before the Battle of Little Bighorn, at least by our standards, was an “outside the box” visionary (altered state) phenomenon. His normal quantum thinking still breaks many laws of science. Contemplating circular time from archaic ways of thinking, pondering them in the now, are very futuristic. So, help me out; why do we all want Apple watches?

When Indigenous people refer to Creator, Wakan Tanka, or the Great Mystery, this spirit-force is a flow of consciousness (thoughts) arriving from an energetic field far, far beyond this planet. Our comparatively small version of consciousness is perceived as something comprised of matter (not spirit or mind) that exists on a personal level, somehow involving our individual minds and brains. Immanuel Kant, you may recall, asserted how time is a mental construct that only comes into existence with an individuated consciousness. Yet, whether you apply indigenous thinking or quantum physics to modern thinking, much of today’s “wisdom” is poppycock.

Human minds, while engaging their brains, are merely transducers of enormously vast energy waves. Humans are receivers (like a TV) of signals emanating far beyond us -- field energies that had no known start and are thought never to stop. We are all part of an interconnected One, the Big Thinker, never separated. And with that, ponder quantum entanglement, originally a Native American concept.

It is impossible to measure spirit-force like physical forces or objects, according to quantum physics, because to observe and measure it changes it. From a one-with-all Native perspective, we are it, it is us. All forces are intertwined.

Spirit force is not outside us and, from this principle, it is impossible to get outside of ourselves to measure it/us, the All. We are always looking along with it. And when we look, it is looking though us. To separate humans from spirit is like measuring infinity…preposterous.

Meister Eckhart, the German theologian writing in the 13 ^th century (a long time ago?), grappled with what is at our most basic energetic essence, the universal and timeless soul manifesting in one discrete skinsuit that now wears a timepiece. His thoughts: “...no yesterday or day before, no morro or day after (for in eternity there is no yesterday or morrow); there is only a present now; the happenings of a thousand years ago, a thousand years to come, are there in the present and the antipodes [opposites] the same as here.” He appears to have suggested that spirit-force has a quality of timelessness (as experienced with MDMA) and that notions of the past, present, and future are merely feeble constructs of the human mind. Us trying to make sense of enormous things with our puny brains that exist amidst vast incomprehensible galaxies that we feebly try to describe --like that’s gonna work!

This may not make sense to everyone, unless you’ve had a non-ordinary state like a “near-death experience,” or perhaps one, two, or three MDMA treatments “over time.” And when you attempt to describe your journeys with the limits of language originating from human consciousness as an “awakening,” it begs the question, “From what into what?” Little time into Big Time? From alienation to unity?

From this brief experience of timelessness engaging with your enlarged consciousness, you might conclude there is a larger consciousness out there, the likes of which you can vaguely get a grasp of. But what is noticed and felt by you may end up being described with conviction as being “realer than real.”

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“You could say that everyone who has undergone this shift [in perspective] has transcended present-day human beings’ normal state of alienation form spirit-force and is now living in constant connection to – an awareness of – it.”

- Steve Taylor, in Spiritual Science

“Beam me up Scotty.”

- Attributed to William Shatner

“As soon as the objective world of reality is considered, the passage of time disappears like a ghost in the night.”

- Paul Davies, physicist, in Space and Time in the Modern Universe

“…the distinction between past, present, and future is only an illusion, even if a stubborn one.”

- Albert Einstein

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MDMA and Dark Nights of the Soul #5

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 19:48:55 GMT

Dark nights of the soul as Saint John of the Cross called those long, despairing periods of our life, are never easy, in fact they are usually dreadful.

They are so necessarily awful and so damn long because some of us don’t do subtlety very well. If we are open to these moments, even a tiny bit, they can serve as an internally calculated and blaring wakeup call that will guide us to solace.

John Nelson, in Healing the Split , refers to a fleeting or ephemeral sense of a higher purpose, not fully conceptualized, but compellingly near the heart. It holds answers to life’s pain but isn’t quite within our grasp…at least until the dark clouds engulf us. Then, with great staying power and inexperience matched with trust, a spiritual emergence nears surface awareness. And it always happens, as psychiatrist Stan Groff defined it, around the time of a blurry spiritual emergency .

The self, or ego, dwells within a larger awareness, or a field, far more immense than anything humans can fully imagine. When we emotionally fall out of order, a dark night originating from a larger consciousness serves the purpose of determinedly, even harshly, guiding us back on track. It will suck at first before any relief or rewards can be discerned. But endure we must.

Robert Assagioli, an Italian psychiatrist and pioneer in the fields of humanistic and transpersonal psychology, referred to this time of bleak melancholy as “divine homesickness.” It is haunting, unrelenting, and leaves us with no peace. With it comes a pervasive sense of unworthiness, self-deprecation, anger toward people in our lives (past and present) and leaves us with the feeling that we have been forsaken. A person in the grip of a dark night can feel completely alone, not understood (heck, we don’t understand ourselves) and paralyzed. We may wrestle with deep guilt and feel as though we are personally responsible for everything wrong in the world, thanks to all our screwups. Suicide offers a solution.

Dark nights are like what Catholics call purgatory, that halfway station between life and death, heaven and hell. Another way of seeing it is as a place and time for inner cleansing. A time to sweep the house clean of all that no longer serves us. That includes any sense of being unclean and undeserving, often as a result of a difficult and trauma-filled life when we took on the pain and burdens of our tormentors, at least for a time. Now we have to decide, as a Labrador coming out of the water, if we will shake it off, or even if we are worthy of shaking it off.

Sooner or later, a Divine Light shines new insights upon us. This offers a much-desired ray of hope. Paradoxically, from the depths of despair comes a light of recollection – a vision of where we must go to find relief.

Drawing from a carefree and more pure time in our past, the future as we now imagine it can be brighter. The answer had been there all along before the hurt and negativity of abusers entered our narrative, contaminating it and discouraging us.

Seen this way, the dark night – the overwhelmingly sad state of mind – is part of a natural renewal process. Our job is to trust it and bravely get on board. Then we “make ourselves over” from the wisdom residing deep within us. This is all about the integrity that our inner physician beseeches us to follow. There is no need, not any longer, to fear our inner physician.

It helps an individual, who has lost their way in the dark, to forgo their worldly responsibilities for a time and enter into a retreat to find the answers resting inside of them. At such a time they can practice honest introspection and reevaluate their priorities without outside influences and distractions. Spirit regenerates.

Another author (quoted in Healing the Split ) penned this: “There is no doubt that I am better off now, in every way, than before. My relations with my family are infinitely attuned, my writing much deeper, my friends much truer, my sense of self more steady, my clarity sharpened, and so on and on. In short, nothing bad, ultimately came out of my ‘break with reality.’”

Not always is a drug required to jumpstart this process, but many people have chosen a ritualized, ceremonial, and sacred MDMA treatment to reset their lives after great pain. When trusted friends bear witness to this spiritual process, changes get validated and tend to be lasting.

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MDMA and Natural Vivification

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 19:36:39 GMT

In this time of homogenized living and spiritual bankruptcy, there is also a hankering to come alive and connect to something bigger than what is found in day-to-day life.

That yearning coming from inside us often leads to psychedelic searching, hoping that with enough jangling of the brain something new, deeper, and more satisfying will emerge. I call this sought after altered state of consciousness (ASC) a vivification . It can be approached with or without drugs.

Natural vivification can be defined as the awakening of our innate spiritual core. We’re naturally wired for it, but often we can’t seem to access this spirit while living a mundane secular life. Vivification often arises after years of living a dull, unsatisfying, and torpid existence. Like a flower awaiting springtime and the opportunity to bud, our contemporary human way of existing longs for a bright awakening.

Vivification happens when life, suddenly and strikingly, becomes more intense, livelier, and more vital. It can be a life changing and unforgettable happening that places us on a new trajectory, and it can occur without entheogens or empathogens. From deep inside us, an ASC springs into action to enlighten us and save us from a humdrum or very despairing existence.

William Miller called this type of sudden epiphany a quantum change and wrote a book with those words as the title. James Loder, writing in The Transforming Moment , was also familiar with this inborn way of reorganizing reality that precipitously arises after a long period of internal conflict. A blast of energy and flash of insightfulness comes on with resounding force. It seizes our attention and can be accompanied by a great emotional release, along with a deep sense of relief and newfound hopefulness. This kind of transformative moment is similar to the spiritual experience that some people have after using MDMA in a reverent way. They too feel a greater sense of clarity and it has a lasting quality to it.

What is it that triggers a naturally instigated, crystallizing, and corrective episode of this kind? Perhaps it can be understood by contrasting two phenomena: breakdowns and breakthroughs . Neuroscience has shown us again and again that while aberrant genetic programming and unique chemical activity in the brain, when matched with intense stress, can send someone “over the edge.” Life experiences have a psychosomatic effect on us, much like high stress and fear can unleash a panic attack or release the onset of bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, all of which can generate ASCs. A new worldview gets introduced, one that is often frightening and replete with paranoia.

Naturally induced and heartening vivifying breakthroughs may, according to John Nelson in Healing the Split , have a strong psychosomatic component too. Mental events leave their imprints on the brain and, at just the most fecund and opportune time, can initiate a quantum change, especially if anxiety levels are sufficiently high. Emotions always seek expression and clarity. They can emerge in highly diverse forms, quite frightening and limiting, or very positive and resetting.

Stanislav Groff introduced the concept of a spiritual emergency . At the precise time we are about ready to crumble in an emotional heap, something beyond the capabilities of the human ego can jump into action to save us. Similarly, psychologist Roy Baumeister, has referred to spiritual emergencies as the “crystallization of discontent.”

Mind and brain are different, although parts of an interworking system. With the mind receiving informing and in-forming guidance (plasticity) from a universal field of consciousness, especially when the little ego is becoming unglued, an ancient and greater knowledge can come into play.

Changes in one field of consciousness are designed to work hand in hand with another, and unbeknownst to us, a self-correcting ASC can intervene and save us. With it can come a deep knowing , a greater understanding of life all around us, much like MDMA patients report. It is like divine guidance from a larger realm that often can’t be put into words but, never-the-less, feels comforting.

Perhaps some of us carry hereditary influences that predispose us to go down a dark rabbit hole during difficult times. But another family genetic line may be inclined to respond to stress with ascendent vivacities – “exuberant sparkles.”

Indigenous cultures have historically welcomed ASCs and can volitionally enter such states, often with little effort. And curiously, when schizophrenia shows up in those so-called “primitive” cultures, the course of the illness is shorter than in industrialized nations and sometimes precedes entry into a shamanic healer role. So, is mental torment about regression or progression?

While one person may require an antipsychotic drug to block a troubling experience, another individual might desire an internal rebooting ASC experience, born of angst, that offers bliss.

You might be asking, “What predisposes someone to a spiritual emergence – unexpectedly going to a higher, healing realm in times of crisis?” Persons primed for a natural revelatory experience frequently have these characteristics:

Recent involvement in an ecstatic spiritual event, or the ongoing desire to enter a “higher order,” that served as a “gateway experience.”
Being intrigued by otherworldly phenomena.
Greater access to the unconscious.
Having endured a history of stressful, unabated, and unprocessed life events that accumulated over years that were matched with a powerful need to escape a life of entrapment.
Mildly disorganized and confused thinking.
Holding positive, creative, and exploratory attitudes toward ASCs.

Nature – that would be us – has an uncanny ability to put life back on track after many trials and tribulations. When suddenly everything comes into focus, it is usually packaged in feelings of calming love. That shouldn’t be surprising, after all, love is the ultimate creative and restorative force in the universe.

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“Whatever the source of quantum change, humanity is capable of finding profound joy in the midst [or aftermath] of crisis and entirely new life in the belly of despair.”

- William Miller in Quantum Change

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Against Happiness

Sat, 22 Jul 2023 20:22:29 GMT

My spirits were lifted when I came across the book, Against Happiness , by a professor of English at Wake Forest University, Eric Wilson.

This is an examination on how we, as individuals and as a culture, relentlessly chase happiness – what Buddhists would call a desire problem, an attachment, or an addiction. We have a lopsided view of positive moods when matched against sadness.

Wilson points out that happiness gives blues a bad name by suggesting it is an aberrant mental state. Having this presumed need for eternal bliss appears to entertain a craven disregard for the value of sadness. Hellbent only for happiness, as a country we have become afraid of sadness. Our American dream may be a nightmare, Wilson argues. What passes for bliss might well be a dystopia of lifeless and sagging grins. Has he lost you yet?

Upon closer examination, some of what repeatedly drives people to Disneyworld, then Vegas, and on to the shopping mall is a distraction from an uncertain and scary life – wanting control and pacification in an uncontrollable world. Wilson calls this avoidance “flights into shininess” and he concludes, “the road to hell is paved with happy plans.” To strive for happiness all the time is to repress the inevitable sadness that life brings, the natural rhythms – the ups and downs, polarities, and contrariness of the world that we have divorced ourselves from. Some of that angst and fear may also be the residue of unaddressed childhood adversity.

Wilson asserts that “The greatest tragedy is to live life without tragedy.” That isn’t living one’s life, is it? Sooner or later we all have traumas, sometimes more than one a year. The resultant melancholy holds the potential to connect us to our core being, if only we allow it. We must search for insights during the dark nights of the soul, as Carl Jung suggested, concluding that depression and profound insights are intimately connected. Significant gloom can generate rapid light. And when we experience a breakdown, a breakthrough may be close behind. Jung learned this after his breakup with Freud and his mother’s death. He fell into “a state of disorientation,” for years like being “totally suspended in mid-air.” He acknowledged his neurosis, nervousness, agitation, and unease were essential to the reshaping of a different identity – a more satisfying and authentic one.

Neurosis is energy. Neurosis is hidden knowledge, the catalyst for a special kind of genius as Marsilio Ficino, an Italian priest contended in the 15 ^th century. And much like trauma, psychological pain is often the catalyst to try on something dramatically different that lands us in a happier state of mind. Jung knew that his emotional illness, even the transient psychosis he supposedly was diagnosed with, were far from being singular illnesses.

There are those of us who get stuck in suffering consciousness and live a life of isolation, dejection, depression, and despair. “These sad types – those black-clad poseurs who identify only with darkness – choose sullenness as one picks a religion or a haircut,” Wilson wrote. They stick with it despite getting the same discouraging results month after month, year after year. Or, until a lightbulb turns on during a momentary respite, like during an MDMA treatment when they get some new lenses to gaze through. It is then realized that by condemning and chasing away their demons (secret instructors), the angels have been swept along with them.

Some people, while justifiably hating the dark nights of the soul, bravely grapple during those times trying to find some new meaning in all the crap. When folks do so, they become “meaning makers” as I wrote about in Transcending Trauma .

Wilson would call them “melancholy innovators.” A few examples: Martin Luther, Martin Luther king, Jr., Florence Nightingale, Marcel Proust, John Lennon, Michelangelo, Abraham Lincoln, Jim Carrey, and Beethoven. All of them eventually, after a lot of mud wrestling, came to an understanding of the secret marriage of sorrow and joy. They heeded the call to interior depths out of which new insights bubbled to the surface. And a beautiful lotus arose from the mud. They experienced moments of fertility once the sun shined again, in part because of their wrestling (doing), not just by perseverative thinking. They merged with life’s natural cycles, the rhythms of the cosmos.

If right at this moment you are feeling chronic depression and periods of panic, know you might be included in this fascinating litany of inspirational people. Like them you may finally understand that frowning clutches flourishing. Wilson again: “The true path to ecstatic joy is through acute melancholia.” Melancholy, if we are courageously open to its teachings, guides us to transformation. This is “necessary melancholia.” No more Prozac-ing of our brains. Embrace it, as best you can. It often leads to a wellspring of creativity…even joy. If you don’t believe it, just ask around.

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“The richest moments in life are these junctures where we realize, [deep] in our sinews, what is true all the time: the cosmos is a dance of joggled opposites, a jolted waltz.”

- Eric Wilson in Against Happiness

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Paradoxes of Trauma and Addiction Recovery

Sat, 22 Jul 2023 19:58:49 GMT

According to author Anna Lemke, M.D., author of Dopamine Nation, “The reason we’re all so miserable may be because we’re working so hard to avoid being miserable.”

In a culture with pleasure opportunities at every turn, she contends, “too much pleasure leads to pain.” Then there is this thing called anhedonia, when we no longer can feel enjoyment doing things that were once quite enjoyable. Lemke goes on, “The paradox is that hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure for its own sake, leads to anhedonia, which is the inability to enjoy pleasure of any kind.”

I’m reminded of Aldous Huxley who wrote Brave New World Revisited. In it he noted our almost infinite appetite for distraction from life. It appears as though persistent efforts to insulate ourselves from pain seem only to have made our pain worse. The trick may be to stop avoiding painful emotions, to sit a spell and notice them until they naturally subside and, in the process, get acquainted with that side of life -- with us.

But sitting quietly in our own company can be very boring. In repose, we may automatically flip into a default state and quickly jump into a state of self-judgment or shame. Well, maybe boredom is more than boring. For many of us it can also be terrifying. We end up sitting with painful feelings about ourselves.

The temptation is to squelch anything that starts to feel unpleasant or unsettling. But with that reflex, another paradox can rear its confounding head. For example, individuals with anxiety and insomnia often rush to their physician for a prescription to numb them from that part of life. Commonly, Xanax or Klonopin (sedative hypnotics) are the ticket. But take them for more than a month and guess what? Anxiety and insomnia worsen, only to have the dose raised.

It has been shown that individuals who take opioids (or even ibuprofen) for more than a month are at increased risk not only for opioid addiction but also worsened pain, even in regions of the body that once were pain free. Pain killers can eventually create pain. This phenomenon is called opioid-induced hyperalgesia. Our dutiful brain is just doing its darndest to return to homeostasis, the brain condition experienced before we messed things up with psychotropic drugs.

Stimulant medications like Adderall and Ritalin which are routinely prescribed for attention deficit disorder. Beyond the advertised benefits for ADD, many people take the drugs to help study and prepare for exams. The drugs promote short-term memory – attention and retention, but there is virtually no evidence for improvement in long-term memory, complex cognitions, or overall better academic performance. It may not be smart to experiment with these smart drugs. Over the long-haul users of Adderall can develop a dependency and carry the risk of psychosis as well.

Then there are the antidepressants which, ironically, eventually become depressants (tardive dysphoria). While once not thought to be habit-forming (due to effective marketing), we now know that at best they can lead to tolerance, at worst to addiction. And withdrawing from both SSNIs and SSRIs can be absolutely hellish, more difficult to come down from than heroin. And the withdrawal process can last many months, perhaps even longer than a year, leaving a wide array of damaging side effects – cognitively, intestinally, neurologically, and psychologically. How depressing!

Pain commonly precedes pleasure. The idea was first documented by Plato who said, “…wherever the one is found, the other follows up.” But are we too impatient to wait for good results? Like sadness or depression, we would prefer to entirely do without these natural states.

Socrates also noticed how an improved mood followed a period of being ill. Somewhat similar, for those of us who once were addicted to running or some other aerobic exercise, know of the endorphin and endocannabinoid high that follows a robust workout. In essence, pleasure is the natural reward for enduring pain. A marathoner learns that if you run toward pain, you will be rewarded with a pleasant buzz soon thereafter.

Cold baths, even ice baths, can be jolting if not painful. Researchers at Charles University in Prague recruited a group of men who sat in 57-degree water for one hour. Using blood samples, the researchers noted dopamine and norepinephrine (both natural antidepressants) levels increased dramatically – 250 and 530 percent respectively. And the results lingered for one to two hours thereafter. Discomfort precipitated mental pleasure without any pills being ingested. And other studies have revealed that animals exposed to extreme cold experience brain neuronal growth. Don’t forget, humans are one form of animal.

Socially, especially after a history of interpersonal trauma, many people prefer to avoid unnerving social gatherings. Rather than experience any emotional discomfort, the temptation might be to avoid social gatherings altogether, to isolate and become a recluse. Over time the penchant to avoid discomfort further trains the brain to become increasingly more distressed, even by simply envisaging a social outing.

What are the implications of all of this when it comes to MDMA and trauma recovery? One of the lessons to be garnered may be that our perspective on painful emotional and physical experiences has become somewhat lopsided. Perhaps pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin, and our task is to flip the current Western paradigm. Using MDMA-assisted psychotherapy we may very well find that behind difficult if not traumatic life experiences, there may be a rich and rewarding life waiting to follow. Pain may actually be a healer waiting in the wings. Now that’s a paradox.

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“What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” Friedrich Nietzsche

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Geral Blanchard Interview on Mindrolling Podcast, 2023

Sun, 14 May 2023 16:29:04 GMT

Anthropologist and psychotherapist, Geral T. Blanchard, LPC, joins Raghu to discuss how to awaken the soul with indigenous wisdom for today’s world.

Here is a link to the interview:

https://beherenownetwork.com/raghu-markus-mindrolling-ep-471-indigenous-wisdom-for-the-todays-world-with-geral-t-blanchard/

About Geral Blanchard:

Geral (Gerry) Blanchard, LPC, is university trained in psychological and anthropological approaches that can address a variety of mental health issues including trauma and addictions in a holistic fashion. He has decades of experience addressing matters of interpersonal violence, traumatization, as well as behavioral and substance addictions. Geral has served as a consultant and trainer for scores of social service agencies, prisons, and chemical dependency treatment centers. Geral has lectured widely throughout the U.S. and additionally in Sweden, Canada, Ecuador, and Nicaragua. He has authored a variety of books on the subjects of sexual abuse, post-traumatic growth (PTG), and the incorporation of indigenous healing traditions in today’s psychotherapeutic settings. Gerry is a regular contributor to the UK Shamanism magazine, Sacred Hoop. Order his new book Awakening the Healing Soul: Indigenous Wisdom for Today’s World .

“One of the basic tenants of shamanism is that the first thing you do with any patient is you remove all obstacles to healing, and almost always fear is the number one obstacle.”
~ Geral Blanchard

About Raghu Markus:

Raghu Markus spent 18 months in India with Neem Karoli Baba and Ram Dass. He has been involved in music and transformational media since the early 1970s, when he was program director of CKGM-FM in Montreal.

In 1974, he collaborated with Ram Dass on the box set Love Serve Remember. In 1990, he launched Triloka Records, which established itself as a critical leader in the development of world music. For 17 years, Triloka was home to such artists as Krishna Das, Hugh Masekela, Walela, Jai Uttal and transformational media projects that featured Ram Dass, Deepak Chopra, and Les Nubians.

Raghu lives in Ojai, California, and is the Executive Director of the Love Serve Remember Foundation. In 2016, he co-founded the Be Here Now Network , where he hosts the Ram Dass Here & Now podcast, as well as his own Mindrolling podcast. He is the producer of Becoming Nobody , a Ram Dass documentary feature film that was released in 2019.

Raghu’s weekly podcast, Mindrolling , is about coming unstuck and the recent history of awoken awareness. It’s about the intersection of culture, consciousness and realization.

Mindrolling the Word happens to be a Tibetan monastery tradition, the home of “the garden of ripening and liberation.” For Raghu Markus, it is a rock and rolling conversation remembering the sixties, digesting the seventies, paralleling then and now, right now, as we find our way in the 21st century.

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MDMA Treatment: A Kind and Gentle Exorcism?

Sun, 14 May 2023 16:03:39 GMT

Along the way exorcism got a very bad reputation. Thanks, in part, to the 1973 movie, The Exorcist -- with Linda Blair’s head-spinning, projectile vomiting, levitating, and speaking in tongues -- we lost nearly all vestiges of what a real and healthy exorcism could look like.

The film industry relegated the subject to horror thrillers and gave virtually no attention to its ancient origins in overcoming soul loss. Soul retrievals, as commonly observed to this day in Africa, are legitimate attempts to recover lost innocence by expelling emotional attachments from unhealthy people.

Worldwide, cultures have been concerned with possessions, spirit attachments, and soul thefts but they have commonly been thought of as illusory in the West. Upon closer examination the essence of possessions, in the language of psychology, is about malevolent narcissists and emotional vampires, individuals (and even cults) who exploit others by sucking positive energy from them. A person becomes contaminated by negativity and unwittingly can incorporate it into their psyche.

Trauma patients come to MDMA treatments feeling compelled to quickly shake this energy off, imagining the cathartic event much like a Labrador retriever coming ashore following a swim. If only it was that easy. Yet, there is a knowing that a trauma cycle may only be completed by a choreographed event, especially when trusted people bear witness to the event.

Conventional talk therapy usually lacks the punch, power, patience, endurance, tenacity, and imperturbability to calmly stay with a patient’s pain long enough to “ride it out” to its natural conclusion. A traditional exorcism – like the Catholic church has employed for centuries -- usually takes many hours, employs many rituals, and may require repeated attempts to achieve the desired emotional release. While an indigenously inspired and ceremonial MDMA treatment does not have the drama and religiosity of a Catholic exorcism, it extends over many hours and as many as three sessions to approach, examine, and ultimately release patient pain.

And this kind of physical dislodging can be raucous. There may be tremors, yelling, rocking, screaming, gasping, gagging, groaning, or writhing. HOWEVER, when the releasing process has been allowed to complete its natural course what usually follows is laughter, bear hugs, contentment, and immense relief. A burden has been lifted, or as the biblical saying goes, “I laid my burden down.” Relief! The patient may say, “Whew! I didn’t know I had all of that in me. Wow!”

In the far north of Canada, some indigenous tribes have words for evil people or the curse of evil. Paul Levy in his book, Dispelling Wetigo , likens the spirit attachment felt by victims to a brain virus. That is what wetigo is. He wrote: “When their mind has been colonized by the virus in such a way that they don’t have the slightest clue about their pathological condition. They usually don’t…even recognize it, because it is all they know.” They may have grown up with it and never realized it needed to be inspected and challenged. This is the personal and paradoxical experience of being near emotional vampires, he writes, “what is most me is not mine.”

For tens of thousands of years African Bushmen have confronted entrenched physical and emotional illnesses using trance journeys . They still dance around a fire in the dark of night for hours. Women sing continuously. Num rises from their feet, heats their body, doubles them up in joyous pain, only to have their illness dispelled. Num could be compared to chi , wakan , or one of the countless other words used to describe our vital energy. Num rises from Earth first entering the feet, and like a heated and powerful blast of energy. It shoots up through the entire body – what some might term kundalini . This is a natural reset phenomenon.

In an ecstatic or highly charged ceremonial environment, ideally with a sacred tone and sometimes with music in the background, a dramatic shift in one’s internal energy can occur, like being kindly struck by a bolt of lightning.

There have been many words used for this, a séance, mystical experience, primal therapy, or soul retrieval. But spirits are contained, corralled, defused, and mastered.

Not all contemporary therapists are comfortable with all the heated emotionality of these events. There may be little tolerance for such healing enthusiasm as they were never trained, nor have many ever witnessed, such a transformative event. To the uninformed, this approach can seem deeply disturbing and unprofessional. Yet, indigenous cultures have successfully used ceremonies like this for tens of thousands of years. It’s more than a passing trend -- like EMDR, tapping, etc. -- but to most, somewhat inexplicable.

What’s happening is very normal and natural. The patient’s inner healer, inner physician, or inner shaman is being awakened by pain. We should not fear ourselves nor demonize the life supportive energy that resides in our intuitive heart. Shamanism is the world’s most ancient practice of tapping that power within. So, when a healer, much like a shaman, has a deep inner peace when a boisterous healing is occurring, understand that from experience they understand the outcome of the game. That is why they give thanks in advance for the healing that is about to occur when proper protocols are put in place in a sacred setting.

So, if your exorcism is unfolding, try not to fear it. After all, fear is usually about something that is not real. It rests on the foundation of what might happen as a result of external forces. Therefore, most fears are hallucinations. Instead, chose to embrace the wisdom of homo sapiens inner healer because it has a history grounded in success.

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“You are the author of your experiences – and your experiences are generated by the thoughts [and emotions] you choose to focus on.”

- Jose Luis Stevens in Awaken the Inner Shaman

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MDMA and Healing Animals

Sun, 23 Apr 2023 23:00:18 GMT

Animals can be powerful guardians and healers. They may show this in mystical forms and visions, or their presence may be as guileless as a puppy anchoring a patient’s heart while sitting at the end of the bed during an MDMA treatment.

After an intensive treatment, readjusting to the world might be aided again and again by the steady, reliable, and affectionate presence of an animal friend. Patients have shared photos and stories of their feline companions with me. I can’t help but wonder if critters are every bit as beneficial as psychotherapists.

Being friendly with wolves I was drawn to Wisdom of Wolves by Jim and Jamie Dutcher of Idaho who lived intimately with four-generations of gray wolves. They concluded that some of the best life instructions for humans arose from their time with these much maligned animals. From watching their four-legged teachers relating to each other, Dutchers drew many lessons about relational living:

Having a family is important
Trust must be earned
Always lead with kindness
One [is] for all
Never stop playing
Mentor the young, respect the elders
Stay curious
Find your compassion
Cherish one another

From Jackson Hole, Wyoming, I have also been informed by Susan Cernak McElroy who wrote Heart in the Wild: A Journey of Self-Discovery with Animals of the Wilderness and Animals, and Teachers, & Healers . Susan talks about dreaming and other ways to enlarge perspectives. She quoted a psychiatrist, Carl Hammerschlag, who said, “Whenever you see something important, you can see is from another perspective if you step out of the ordinary and look again.” But her words are also important, especially when considering the ruptured social relationships many MDMA patients have endured and the bigger homecoming that awaits them. Susan wrote: “The Aborigines admonish us to step softly, because just under the earth are the faces of our unborn children, waiting to sprout from the living body of the infinite. To hold Earth as a living, sentient, whole mind-body is a vision that can usher us into the realms of relationship and up out of detachment into homecoming.”

Susan also notes the importance of rituals for many reasons, but especially how they can take us to an altered state, a bigger way of seeing. And in an MDMA ceremony infused with guiding rituals, I concur with her that a sacred and extended time is created, a time when we address important questions and await extraordinary possibilities.

After healing from a serious illness, with the help of rituals and animal guides, Susan discovered a safe and mysterious ground beneath her; she now sees the world “through softer, more trusting eyes.”

Soul , in Gaelic, means “the house of my belonging.” When we connect with our animal relatives in Nature, we become double souled and are at home. Living in the high country of Wyoming, Susan concludes, “You cannot live here and not feel the presence of Grizzly, Wolf, Deer, and Buffalo as strongly as you would feel the press of human flesh in a city mall. It is not that there are so many animals left here. It is just that their soul in this place is very, very strong.” She goes on, “My animal companions [including Owl, Dog, Cat, Elk, Chicken, etc.] remind me daily of the joy in simple things, and to give thanks to the universe for the unending bounty in my life.”

Ted Andrews, author of Animal-Speak , has written, “Every animal is a gateway to the phenomenal world of the human spirit. What most fail to realize is that what they think of animals reflects the way they think of themselves.” Said another way, there may be an optimism residing within us that can work to strengthen relationships. Often animals mirror ourselves back to us, they lift our spirit to its highest expression and exalted faith.

Tristan Gooley, writing in The Nature Instinct , speaks to our cranial and heart brains. He said that when we receive the message, “Something’s not right here,” this is the emotional vocabulary of our primitive limbic system. But I contend the wiser heartbrain asks, ‘What unites us, as people and as animals?’”

Sometimes the East Window rattlesnake is a harbinger of danger, but also of transformation. Susan Chernak McElroy again, without mentioning empathogen medicinal healing from trauma, concluded, “Rattlesnake venom, although poisonous and deadly, is also used a potent medicine. Rattlesnakes teach us how to turn something poisonous into something good.” Ever had a snake leave its skin at your door? It may hold a message from a relative about things we can safely leave behind.

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“Simply deciding that other animals can’t have any emotions that humans feel is a cheap way to get a monopoly on all the world’s feelings and motivations. People who’ve systematically watched or known animals realize the absurdity of this.”

- Carl Safina in Beyond Words, What Animals Think and Feel

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MDMA and Your "Inner Wyoming"

Sun, 23 Apr 2023 14:56:37 GMT

Sharon Salzberg in her 2023 book, Real Life, wrote about the inner constrictiveness and the lack of openness many people feel, particularly after an abusive or neglectful childhood, or following a hurtful experience at any age.

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She opens with a story of how she went to a Houston restaurant with an acquaintance to order takeout. Her friend, Joseph Goldstein, struck up a conversation with a young man behind the counter as they waited for their food to be prepared. The employee told Joseph, somewhat passionately, how his dream was to one day move to Wyoming. When asked what he thought he would find there, the young man expounded: “Open, expansive space, a feeling of being unconfined, with peacefulness and freedom, and room to breathe.” Joseph responded, “There’s an Inner Wyoming too, you know.” The restaurant worker’s retort was, “That’s freaky,” and abruptly walked away.

Expansiveness is often the result of undergoing an altered state when an expanded consciousness can arise. For trauma patients it is a journey from suffering and oppression to freedom, from humiliation to dignity. It is about examining the burden they have been carrying and finding the freedom to lay it down. And with it comes a greater sense of meaning – what they are about and what they value. This expansiveness leaves room for a fundamentally loving heart to unfurl and steer them forward. Buddhists call it spaciousness.

The opposite of expansiveness and spaciousness is shrinkage. That is the voice of our brain’s default mode network (remember the DMN is our self-flagellating voice that is always heard in the background) which reminds us we are small and unworthy. We accept this voice in the background as true because we are the one saying it even though it is usually inaccurate.

In addition to the DMN, most of us have an inner vision that narrows our focus of attention. What goes on in our skull, our house, or our community can limit spacious thinking. It’s hard to have tunnel vision, however, in the Red Desert of Wyoming where you can see mountains 75 miles away by day and not one yard light at night. Without noise and distractions there is little choice but to go inward for reflection by day and reflect under the Milky Way for hours after sunset. It’s a whole different experience that offers a fresh perspective, experientially teaching us the importance of taking a break from the repetitious limitations of our past and present-day thinking. More than a tiny blue light screen to stare at, there is a vast and enveloping ceiling of stars to gaze into.

An MDMA journey is similar, except you are blindfolded. Nevertheless, your inner eye sees. And you travel by distance and time to faraway places and historical moments where your unfinished business dwells.

Often, what you “see” is not actually perceived in conventional ways and what you “hear” does not always come by way of sound or language. Old distortions and delusions are commonly replaced with mental clarity.

You may also find that your newly adjusted mind state is now viewed like the weather. Sticking with the Wyoming storyline, you can observe a cloudbank forming over Laramie from your vantage point in Cheyenne 50 miles away. You spot the approaching storm, figure out its trajectory, and know how to respond to the ominous threat. Analogously, when social situations trigger emotions of fear and anxiety and are spotted early, we know they too are impermanent and as the oft-used adage reminds us, “This too will pass,” just like a storm.

Joe Hutto of Lander, Wyoming, is a naturalist and lover of wide-open spaces. He is the author of The Light in High Places . In it he wrote: “Most cowboy work is done alone, and so it can be a solitary business – before daylight to after dark – providing endless opportunities for contemplation and introspection. I never met a working cowboy who did not show the inevitable signs of a thoughtful mind.”

And then there is Susan Chernak McElroy from over the mountain in Jackson Hole. In Animals as Guides for the Soul, she shared this: “I’ve learned to listen carefully when my inner buzzer goes off, because it usually means that I’m about to learn something of importance, if I listen closely and keep my mind and heart open.” So it is with MDMA. A person goes inward to the quiet, suspends disbelief, and with a hand on their warm and expanding heart, a knowing arrives. That’s your Inner Wyoming.

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“There are none happy in the world but beings who enjoy freely a vast horizon.”

- Henry David Thoreau

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MDMA and the Inner Shaman

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 01:48:43 GMT

I have observed how people using this relational empathogen find wisdom and transformative assistance, not from without, but from within themselves.

Once the search for the self-proclaimed shaman in the suburbs has ended, after the Mayo Clinic could not provide personalized care infused with love, and when the last wayfaring guru’s spell persisted for only a couple of days, other solutions may be sought by looking inward. This time, health and recovery must finally arise from deep inside the psyche with an uplift that comes from what some people call the inner physician .

It is the natural human propensity to look toward a stranger for answers to personal problems. Anyone familiar with ceremonial MDMA psychotherapy has witnessed the brilliance that rises to the surface amidst the quiet during an hours-long internal gaze. It is a beautiful thing to witness individuals whose self-esteem had once been devastated by abusers lovingly counsel themselves. Almost always their “advice to self” is profound and offers a guiding personal mythology to live by. Then, of course, comes the requisite maintenance.

Anthropologist Stanley Krippner co-authored a book entitled Personal Mythology. It is about the use of rituals in ceremonies, tapping imagination, and listening to dreams that can help us craft our inner story, one that is far more honest and reflective of our soul than anything society or abusers imposed on us. He references the “Inner Wise Man” or “Inner Wise Woman” that awaits summoning, usually after more traditional life guideposts have disappointed us.

Beyond the confines of cultural myths, a personal myth can be thought of as an updated guiding narrative of how we will position ourselves in the world hereafter, post-abuse that is. It is a new story with an eye for an ending that offers more rewards. A personal myth can be thought of as a roadmap of our own making, unlike an occasionally errant GPS that may take us in circles often ending up right where we started. This guiding narrative doesn’t take us down the well-traveled dead-end streets of the past. It offers a new path.

While authentic shamans are attuned to ancestral wisdom and cultural traditions, they are also adept at tapping intuitive understandings of what the patient sitting before them needs right then and there. They recognize that not always does one-size-fits-all guidance hold our answers. A true shaman isn’t compelled to have their identity wrapped up in mystical mannerisms and garish attire which can be distracting. They want to know you – and help you to know you, without eclipsing your luminosity. Their sacred responsibility is to assist in the development of your Inner Shaman . To help you find the passageway between waking consciousness and an enlarged consciousness (during an altered state) and eventually arrive at the depth where insights and solutions have been slumbering.

This can be done by focusing your intentions and employing your imagination to evoke a primordial sense of personal wisdom that can show up in different forms. It may appear as an elder relative, ancient aboriginal faces, or by encountering the image of Jesus, Mother Mary, the Buddha, an unknown Master, or a wise animal. Be receptive to the image your psyche, your Inner Shaman , offers you. This occurs while masked, when the figures emerge into your visual field.

This may become a transcendent and transformative event in your life. Be open to this moment as more than a fanciful imaginative journey, it may be a manifestation of your Inner Shamans prescription for health. This is likely a mysterious place of your being that must be noticed, valued, and esteemed.

At this point you have broken society’s stranglehold, and not in the “Graveyard of Discarded Illusions,” you can enter the hidden dimensions of your being. This is not magic, but it is magical how our inner knowing has its own GPS guidance system. Ask yourself, that is your Inner Shaman, “What does this all mean?” and await the answer that percolates up.

From the book Personal Mythology I note recommendations for an “attitude of gratitude” for who we are. An example: “Thank your Inner Shaman for having met you. Use words, gestures, or silent intuitive communication. Recognize your Inner Shaman’s bottomless affection for you and belief in your worthiness. Your Inner Shaman acknowledges your life’s journey and the courage it required. Your survival has qualified you for the wisdom to come.”

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“The future is not out there in front of you, but inside us.”

- Joanna Macy

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MDMA and the Ineffable

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 00:22:39 GMT

I have heard people say, “Since my first session, something has been stirring deep inside me that I can’t find words to describe."

"I feel it, I know it is important, and I think it is changing me, but for the life of me, it is unspeakable. Words don’t do it justice.”

Something sneaks up on us, perhaps a force for clarity and change. The word surreptitious comes close, meaning furtive, stealthy, sneaky, or secretive. These moments of knowing can be very private, our own concealed truth. We are the only ones who can access and intuitively comprehend this type of ineffable experience.

How can something so undefinable grab and hold our attention, even change us at a core level? Well, it’s hard to explain and philosophers, theologians, and mystics have been teasing out the concept for millennia. What we notice is that these salient moments seem to arise at pivotal and often life changing times.

Lakota shaman Black Elk tried to put it into words: “As I lay there thinking of my vision, I could see it all again and feel the meaning with a part of me, like a strange power glowing in my body; but when the part of me that talks would try to make words for the meaning, it would be life fog and get away from me.”

Simply because it so challenging to describe life shifting moments doesn’t take any of their power or meaning away. They can sneak up on us remaining under our conscious radar. Yet, they clearly are “a thing.” For some people this nebulous phenomenon becomes very special, profoundly personal and impactful. When MDMA patients embrace the sentiments, and when they unpredictably pop up again and again, they frequently refer to them as “feelbacks.” This gift embodies an internal splendor that can be reexperienced any time thereafter.

Spiritualists have long been intrigued by such moments. Usually they arrive during altered states, as was the case with Black Elk during a vision quest. Sometimes the wily mind plays tricks on us, often for our benefit.

This is because, at a conscious level, we may not always have easy access to life altering answers for our earthly conundrums. Yet millions of years of experience on earth has given humans concealed gifts of insightfulness that can show up when we most need them.

The answers arise out of an ostensibly forgotten past, vestiges from comparable dilemmas that remain embedded in our psyche – a treasure trove of collective knowledge.

It seems we need some kind of out-of-the-ordinary moment to awaken the healer within and shake insights loose. And when that occurs, the comforting intuitions that have been anchored in our ancient ancestral past – enduring, very real, and yet indescribable -- get revived. Still, we know they hold private and intimate truths for us. They are intended specifically for us and not necessarily meant to be shared, in fact, it doesn’t seem like we are even capable of doing so, spoken language can be so limiting. Being dumbfounded can be so wise.

One patient, trying to put words to her transformative moments said, “It was like receiving whispers from Spirit.” Faint but palpable messages offering enlightenment and solace. And while the event couldn’t be described accurately, one thing was clear, it was a treasure. Even though it was ineffable, there was faith distilled out of the mystery, substance derived from the ethereal. For some people it is as valuable as any religious teaching they had assimilated in times past.

Epiphanies of this kind are often validated without words. The “body electric,” as Walt Whitman called it, knows. Our mental life is embodied. Our most exalted thoughts that suddenly fill gaps in our knowledge of the world have their body correlates. And accurate intuitions can get our attention via tears, chills, goosebumps, shivers, tingles up the spine.

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“Our sensory systems shape inexplicable experiences into perceptible, supernatural forms. When we are in the dark, regions of our brain may lead us to perceive faces where they are not, and these we may take as images of God. Our deep-rooted tendency to hear the human voice may lead us to hear the Divine. When in an eerie or strange place, most likely in the dark, we may feel seen, or touched, or even embraced by God – reflecting the activation of our ancient attachment-related tactile system.”

- Dacher Keltner in Awe: The New Science of Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life

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MDMA and the Power of Energy

Sun, 01 Jan 2023 21:28:41 GMT

Healing can be regarded as the process of making positive changes in the body and mind, the interconnected unit I refer to as the bodymind .

This can be done with the imagination (imagery) -- what we see in our mind’s eye that may be subtly changing us for the better.

Healing can occur with direct comforting touch too, even in its somewhat remote form, such as Reiki. Sound also creates a shift in energy, whether we passively listen to comforting or stimulating vibrations, or better still, when we hum or sing along. And mental changes, new thoughts, perhaps from reading handouts like this one, can ready the bodymind for a shift.

Remember that old MDMA adage: First shit happens, then shift happens. Well, physicists tend to agree, thinking of energy as a force with the capacity to do work. And one energy system, a packet of energy, can create a shift in another connected system.

Imagine energy as a wave. Thinking of the energy that is stored in an ocean, the thought all by itself, is energy expended. So let’s consider the question of where the first wave began? If it didn’t come from another wave, after all we are inclined to imagine an isolated one, then there must have been another form of energy that influenced water to shift. Maybe wind? Maybe an earthquake? Maybe a sizzling meteorite splashing into the Atlantic? Everything, all objects from the human body to a mountain are moving inside and often at widely disparate speeds. When they come into contact with each other, a mutual shift occurs. I believe this at the core of energy medicine, what Native Americans mean by good medicine , it is anything that creates healing while in relationship, while in harmony. That is why they say, “We prefer medicine that walks.”

Today waves may be started by other waves. Or perhaps a wave of lunar or solar energy. Maybe by the energy packed in a windstorm. But, bottom line, we are all in relationship to all else all the time. And that realization comes to life for many people following an MDMA treatment. We call it unity consciousness . Native Americans have referred to it as the Vast Self or the Great Mystery.

So let’s bring these ideas to the MDMA bedside. When someone is receiving a healing – namely, an energy shift – both the patient and healer will be changed. It reminds me of my psychiatric instructor, Dr. Jonas Robitscher, who long ago defined psychotherapy this way. Repeatedly I quote him: “Good therapy is an engagement of two people that leaves both changed. If only one changes, therapy has been a failure.”

With that in mind, patient and healer are both engaged in a reciprocal transmission of energy, both are healing, especially if the therapist is in a calm and harmonious state.

It is far too simple to think of the patient as unhealthy and the healer as healthy, nor very humble. In reality, all of Us are energy waves bouncing around with the potential to do much in tandem.

So bring your mental will into the treatment room. But be a little cautious. Don’t try too hard to move energy. Allow it to happen. As Carl Jung said, “What we resist, will persist.” Fight with a degrading energy, and nothing will get better. Isn’t it interesting that many obituaries say, “He died after a prolonged battle with cancer.” Or would it be more accurate to say was a stubborn and prolonged battle with aggressive willpower that killed him. Easy does it.

Hawaiian shamanic healers have posited how the pikopiko method -- which shifts attention from one thought to another, together with the amplifying effect of deep breathing (from head to naval) -- can move energy in a healing direction. Pikopiko is most effective when we give up trying so hard to elicit change. Working too hard on growth can stymie growth. Simply focus your attention, gently, and let the attention do the work. But don’t try to move the energy, simply observe it when it does. This is why I tell many patients to stop therapy for a brief time and “give up.”

In paradoxically fashion, even within suicidal thoughts, when interpreted carefully, there might be nuggets of insight them suggesting a new and different direction is urgently required. In that way, a death call can be a wakeup call. And as one recent MDMA patient said, “Now I know what the letters M D M A stand for -- my death, my awakening .” In his case, he was referring to ego death.

If you want healing energy amplified further, you may make noises – moaning, groaning, buzzing, low belly sounds, loud exhales, or harmonizing with music you really enjoy that is being played in the background. And better still, if you invite coordination, perhaps your healer can add some of their own potentiating sound in the form of humming, intoning, chanting, etc. It may be that their internal healing noise may bump into your stuck hucha energy. At that time unhealthy waves can be dislodged leaving room for sami, a lighter vibratory energy that promotes healing.

Sometimes we don’t need a rocket ship blast of ayahuasca, psilocybin, iboga, or DMT. Something gentler can ease our fears (negative energy) and move us into a new realm of hopefulness. That something may be MDMA. Same process, kinder journey.

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“On the energetic level, between two people this synchronizing of frequencies can occur unintentionally; they may call this being ‘on the same wavelength.’ In Therapeutic Touch, as the healer remains centered and present to the healee the vibrational frequency of the two fields can begin to synchronize [resonance]; the healer experiences the harmony between the fields, and the patient may feel the same also.”

- Dolores Krieger, Ph.D., M.D.

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Additional Reading:

A Healer’s Journey to Intuitive Knowing: The Heart of Therapeutic Touch by Dolores Krieger, Ph.D., R.N.

MDMA - Relationship Building from a Wide Lens

Sat, 31 Dec 2022 21:06:30 GMT

As an empathogen, MDMA is regarded as being uniquely designed to assist in the healing of serious relationship rifts, particularly those arising from trauma.

Empathogens increase interpersonal empathy, understanding, and connection. Once a healthier sense of connectivity has been restored between broken relationships, many patients experience an enhanced companionship extending far beyond their human acquaintances. Feelings of alienation are replaced by a sense of belonging, not only in a local social sense, but on a planetary level and beyond.

Indigenous cultures, like the Q’ero of Peru’s high Andes, have a worldview that epitomizes a wide lens affiliation. Among the Quechua-speaking people several words stand out that are very instructive: munay , Ayni , and apus . Munay means love. Ayni represents give and take, what they refer to as the “law of right returns.” When the two words come together, they are referring to relationships that are built on deep respect and sacred reciprocity. Apus are spirits residing in the sacred mountains, the Q’ero shrines, old and wise sentinels standing guard over life below.

The Q’ero ethos, like that of so many other Amerindian peoples, is one of animism , meaning they believe all things are alive and have a soul, from the mountains, to the rivers, to Grandma Helen. Everything is vibrating with spirit, all with their own unique frequency or consciousness that resonates with and supports everything around them. Life is a team affair; all players must breathe and dance together in coherence – Ayni . This ought to be common sense everywhere; it is common sentience among many indigenous tribes.

Knowing all things in this universe are connected, the spirit of one living element always has a reciprocal impact on the Whole. We are inextricably linked to a terrestrial and cosmic energy complex, a vast w.w.w. where one facet of creation mirrors all the other elements. Each aspect is a multicolored strand of sacred reciprocity offering conscious consideration of the other. Humans are inseparable from all that lives. As within, so throughout.

Each member of “me” is also a tentacle of the “other.” We pulse with every apus , including the spirit of those who have harmed us.

To re-member our Self, is to become conscious of, to reassemble, and to restore all our parts – those lost, and those waiting to be discovered. To try and reweave our ties, first we must remember our shared home, our essential identity.

Ayni suggests we respect and love all parts of the larger entity, the Self, to which we are all integral parts. This worldview recognizes the many sacred dimensions of life. Buddhists refer to this concept as right relationship .

Re-membering and perfecting the Whole cannot be accomplished by discarding, what some may deem to be, contemptable parts. Integrity of the totality – respect for all reciprocal relations including the presumed “good” and the “bad” elements -- is central to Q’ero thinking. Restoration is the order of the day, every day.

These are the kinds of lofty ideas many MDMA patients envisage during and after their treatment. And such realizations come during the eyes-closed hours of contemplation that help them see a bigger picture, recall the complete story. After feeling broken and dismembered following abuse, upon losing a part of their soul and feeling separateness, the insight that “I still belong” is pivotal for recovery.

What often results when victimization is not treated in great depth is a denial of one’s communion with all the periodically broken parts, encompassing the “there but by the grace of God go I” notion. MDMA is a forgiving, but not a forgetting medicine. It reminds its students of the safety and value of humility that arises from a sacred way of being, an irrepressible and discerning mind, and a wide lens.

Don Oscar Miro-Quesada, a Peruvian curandero (indigenous healer), reminds us that control and domination, arrogance and supremacy, separate us from the entirety of life. He wrote: “When we surrender the need to figure it all out and cultivate the ability to let it all in, our earth walk becomes a sacred dance of healing service on the planet. More than the world needs saving, it needs loving [ munay ].”

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MDMA and Your Life Review

Fri, 30 Dec 2022 20:47:39 GMT

Jimmy Stewart played the temporarily confounded George Bailey in the Christmas movie classic It’s a Wonderful Life .

As a somewhat strange version of an after-death story unfolds, George is granted an opportunity to observe a life review, his own. It included the secret factors that drive our common existence, which is quite different than how he had long imagined this earthly existence to be, but rather as it really is.

He was propelled by what many would label a spiritual emergency . It was only after George was given a complete panoramic summary of how his life patterns coalesced, from beginning to end, that his life journey was made sense and was righted. All the isolated acts, when considered together, offered cohesive insights, meaning, and deep appreciation to George. In the end, all the pain and suffering was not without value; the tapestry he examined came to be seen as the chronicle of a rewarding, warm, and wonderful life.

Well, something similar happens during many MDMA psychotherapy assisted treatments. From trauma and suffering, a patient may start weaving their story together beginning in childhood, one painful recollection after another. But is it really a painful retelling? As all the pieces are assembled under the calming effects of the medicine, the deeper meaning and purpose of it all becomes clear. As Ram Dass would customarily say, it is all “grist for the mill,” experiences to be milked for their valuable insights and teaching about life in general. After all, as Buddhist Noble Truth number one contends, “Life brings suffering.” So, we must figure out how to deal with it.

In a conventional therapy session you may have 45 - 50 minutes to start excavating your past. Maybe one or two painful moments will be unearthed. Emotionally, they may tear you apart. Then the therapist spends the last few minutes suturing you up, all in readiness for the next brief encounter. There has to be a better way.

With an MDMA treatment that lasts over six hours, a person can dig deeper, go spelunking in the darkness of the underworld, and see the big picture. Most people walk away from this kind of experience with a fuller understanding of the inevitabilities and vicissitudes of life and assign new meaning to them. The takeaways are usually not about good guys and bad guys, any need to punish, sue, or incarcerate, but to compassionately make sense of the world we live in – often times not taking things so personally as we all share many of the same struggles and vulnerabilities.

Like watching a movie with a degree of mental and emotional detachment, MDMA guided self-observation can be indispensable to the healing process.

As religions have known for centuries, somehow in this process of watching our life review impartially and nonjudgmentally, an astonishing kind of transformative magic can happen. It’s like the movie stuff kids and adults are so fond of. Once our old habits are “caught in the act,” particularly by an MDMA kind of witnessing, it seems like an internal combustion takes place, and with the passage of hours unhelpful habits, along with old emotional pains, burn themselves out, vanishing on their own. No punishment is needed. We simply observe them, perhaps stare them down, but lovingly so.

George Bailey took the “if onlys” and the “what ifs” that were previously misunderstood, and joyfully transformed them all into blessings. The very events George thought of as regrets and deprivations were, as he later came to understand, essential elements of his spiritual struggles and stepping-stones to social fulfillment.

It is similar to what the famous psychologist Erik Erikson taught us about ego integrity . I believe what he meant was that all of us are capable, upon reflecting on the experience of one’s one and only life excursion, twists and turns, pitfalls and stumbles, as something that had to be , with no alternatives required for us to find happiness. No regrets. No self-condemnation needed.

Often MDMA patients say words offering up thankfulness for the traumas they experienced. Additionally, others have commented, “I got more out of this six hour treatment than I did from the last six months of psychotherapy.” Or as an eighteenth century German mystic said of the alchemy of the soul, “Without the pain it might take me thirty years to learn something that suffering teaches me in five minutes.”

May the force – Clarence – be with you.

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MDMA and Different Levels of Consciousness

Fri, 30 Dec 2022 00:44:52 GMT

Mystical experiences are states of grace when the bodymind system tunes its usual frequency to the primary field of Being, what the Pueblo mystic, Beautiful Painted Arrow, calls the Vast Self.

In that bigger field there is a vast accumulation of stored knowledge (knowings) which previously had been difficult to detect. In this morphogenetic field, as Robert Sheldrake calls it, all the past experiences of the human race are contained. To enter this expansive library of practical relationship wisdom, MDMA, sometimes, can be a gatekeeper.

Balancing this perspective on knowledge, Evelyn Underhill, a Catholic writer and pacifist, had this to say about human enlightenment: “True illumination, like all real and vital experience, consists [more] in the breathing of a certain atmosphere, living at certain levels of consciousness, than in the acquirement of specific information.”

Meister Eckhart, the medieval German mystic, spoke of us as being planted with “godseeds” and from us grow gods. We are loaded with latency, ready to spring ahead by first going back to a more complete understanding of our origins and of ourselves. That is what is symbolized by the Hopi “casting of seeds” ritual that is so important before taking the medicine. With that in mind, Jean Houston, author of The Search for the Beloved , has outlined three major perspectives of the human experience: THIS IS ME, WE ARE, and I AM.

This Is Me is our persona, ego, or the masks we wear. It is a small, confining, constricting view, kind of like living in a cul-de-sac. It really doesn’t take us anywhere. Contrast it with We Are where symbols, guiding archetypes, and origin myths originate. We Are is like a more solid contact or reference point, the social or cultural container in which we can live. This realm penetrates the thin veil of the This Is Me through fantasy, dreams, or just about any time when we let down our guard, as MDMA can help us so. You don’t have to go looking for it; you may, quite simply, open the door when it knocks. Finally, when we are connected with the Vast Self, our higher Unity Being, the solidifying and strengthening I Am floods in.

This I Am may feel like alien territory at first, but it doesn’t take very long to recognize it is more real, and far less fleeting, than this middle world existence. MDMA offers an enhanced sensibility in this dimension. From watching patients enter this realm I am left with the impression that a visit to the I Am is like visiting your personal god(s).

In this field state of personal extension, there is a great concentration of familiar and reminiscent energies that can propel “individuals” to fulfill their deep evolutionary process of life – becoming their best and happiest selves, or should I say Selves – the bigger version of us.

This is what happens when you reach The Source of your being. It certainly isn’t the hospital you were born in -- perhaps some Midwestern hospital a few decades ago. This is a much more grand cosmic story awaiting our discovery.

Please don’t think of what I’m about to suggest as an unreasonable stretch. But after difficult, if not traumatic days, in this middle world of the 21st century, you may recognize a level of natural creative exuberance arising within you. Now I am reminded of Mozart (don’t know if he tried entheogens) who said of his stupendous creativity, that he didn’t know whence it came, but thanked his version of God that at least it felt very “Mozartish.”

Not only can the creative spirit of Creation arise, but I have sensed that many persons who have mindfully used MDMA in ceremony have become a stronger moral force for good because of it. As Houston posits, humans can be seen as sacred “fetuses of the future,” currently in a redesign process. A “calling” may have been hidden in your trauma. It’s like the chronic nausea and despair of life had a message: “Enough already! It’s time to grow, big time.”

The sacred indigeneity of MDMA-assisted psychotherapy helps to build bridges from our ancient “past” to the ongoing now. For some, it can literally reorchestrate their brains and accelerate neurogenesis while altering the nervous system to a calmer and more centered existence. It may be the equivalent of altering the course of your personal evolution while also speeding it up, much like the theory of epigenetics suggests. What often arises in a series of MDMA treatments – ritualized rebirths – is an awareness of the unskilled and ineffective behaviors and choices of your prior local self. Out of the once limiting dark moments, travel on to the destiny of I Am .

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Oh night that guided me,

Oh, night more lovely than the dawn,

Oh, night that joined Beloved with lover,

Lover transformed in the Beloved!

Upon my flowery breast,

Kept wholly for himself alone,

There he stayed sleeping,

And I caressed him,

And the fumes of the cedars made a breeze.

The breeze blew from the turret

As I parted his locks.

With his gentle hand he wounded my neck

And caused all my senses to be suspended.

I remained, lost in oblivion,

My face I reclined on the Beloved.

All ceased and I abandoned myself,

Leaving my cares forgotten among the lilies.

St. John of the Cross

The Dark Nights of the Soul

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MDMA: Wham, Bam, Shazam, or Nothing Much?

Tue, 27 Dec 2022 21:38:26 GMT

With so many anecdotes about the dramatic experiences folks have had with entheogens and psychedelics, a person may struggle when the impact of MDMA is, for the most part, subtle or under the radar.

Does this mean it wasn’t working on/in my brain? Why wasn’t my experience more like Timothy Leary’s or the Beatle’s – Lucy in the sky with diamonds? Did I not prepare myself well enough?

Some people lay quietly for hours in a deep calm state detecting little of what may be transpiring. Being without a racing brain (a default state of anxiety) feels alien and discombobulating (a neuroscience term). And, sometimes, that can be unsettling, even frightening. When quieting occurs it can be confused with “nothing’s happening.” Quite the opposite is usually the case. Any shift in the brain state from flying with eagles, talking with a deceased ancestor, or to quietude – whether subtle or resounding -- represent change. And change is what is being sought, moving out of stuck.

I’ve noted a few patterns among patients. Those who have really relied on their left-brain to handle life’s challenges – the scientific, non-fiction types like myself – may have difficulty exiting this mode. It has been so reliably available and seemingly protective, albeit not always comforting, that to allow it to shut off is difficult and even uncomfortable, at least at first. We may be reluctant to let our guard down and see where the medicine takes us. To go to the unaccustomed place of tranquility can be disconcerting, experienced like a negative reaction to the drug.

Others may feel like they are a failure or a loser because they didn’t fly to Jupiter and back during their treatment. Or they may be discouraged that they didn’t shapeshift into a leopard. It is as if they feel inadequate because their experience wasn’t as exotic as another person’s – oh the risk of comparing.

Still others – especially those persons with rich fantasy or dream lives – seem to have a different reaction to MDMA. They see symbols (vs. facts) that guide them to unusual sites, scenes, destinations, and conclusions that seem to hold answers. While this may seem silly to a very no-nonsense grounded person, it can be awesome and spiritually uplifting for the person with more of an otherworldy makeup.

Neurogenesis can begin with a blare, or it can start subtly. It really doesn’t matter in the long run as brain alterations are most assuredly happening under the radar.

Without the wham, bam, shazam of an LSD or DMT experience, you may feel disappointed…at first. Don’t let that discourage you from continuing your psychotherapy. Therapy, during and after treatments, is routinely found to be more insightful, fruitful, and rewarding than before MDMA. This should be heartening as it is proof that YOU, not just a magic medicine, can “do the trick.”

Remember the words of Buddhist author, Jack Kornfield who said, “After enlightenment, do the laundry.” The goal is not to spend every day floating among the stars, but resolving day to day issues and annoyances.

Some of the ways I have observed patient growth comes in the way they describe their new life. They say things like:

I seem to be more of an observer of my life, not just a reactor to people and circumstances.
I’m more resilient and bounce back faster following disappointments.
It’s easier to see the “story behind the story” in people’s lives – the context or threads of their life narrative.
I took a day off from doing. I took a long, long nap and didn’t feel guilty or unproductive; I felt like my brain and the rest of my body deserved a healing break.
I multi-task less and can sit still with improved focus.
I’m dreaming more, or differently. The themes are shifting.
More time is being spent in Nature, noticing with awe and wonder all the beauty surrounding me that, in the past, I missed. I literally stop and smell the roses, noting the sunsets.
I feel healthier, fall asleep easier, and have fewer stress headaches.
I seem to be kinder and more understanding of people in my life; they tell me so. I’m more poised and steady too.
I’m not so inclined to hurry on to the next thing, place, or event. Much like during my treatments I can sit with things -- savor and marinate in them.
I’m loving people better, playing a lot more.
Recently I’ve been painting and dancing more, reading less.
Then there are the observations of anthropologist Mircea Eliade who studied ecstatic transcendent experiences in indigenous societies. He wrote about those persons who come to an “understanding of their wings”:

“We know that among peoples the soul is conceived of as a bird. Magical flight assumes the value of an ‘escape from the body’ – that is, it translates to ecstasy, the liberation of the soul, into plastic [flexible] terms. But while the majority of human beings are changed into birds only at the moment of death, when they forsake their bodies and fly into the air, shamans, sorcerers, and ecstatics…realize ‘emergence from the body’ in this world and as often as they wish. This myth of the bird-soul contains in germ a whole metaphysics of man’s spiritual autonomy and freedom.”

Look up for Raven, Eagle, Owl, and Butterfly.

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For some, life starts to resemble the words of Izumi Shikidu:

As I am deep in thoughts of love

A firefly floats up above the stream

Is it my soul lured out of me, yearning?

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Then there are Muhammad’ words: “If I had only two loaves of bread, I would barter one for hyacinths to nourish my Soul.”

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The end result of the MDMA journey is not always how it started. Whether it starts as pensive, reflective, or convulsively powerful, the destination is almost always the same – loving peacefulness.

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MDMA and Grief

Tue, 27 Dec 2022 21:01:11 GMT

An indigenous inspired healer, Jez Hughes, has defined trauma as the inability to forget .

Certainly that could be the failure to complete the trauma cycle as described by Peter Levine in somatic experiencing trauma therapy .

By observing animals in the wild of Africa Levine noted they instinctively know how to physically release pent up feelings associated with a scary situation and, in so doing, quickly return to their natural flow and wellness. An impala, following a near-death chase by a lion, may collapse to the ground (a form of dissociation) to “escape” the terror of the situation. Then, after a short time and the lion having moved on, they spring to all fours kicking, jumping, and pirouetting. This helps our animal relatives let go of the event in a demonstratively effective way.

Oh, if it were only that easy for humans, but our brains want to hang on to painful memories and resolve them on a cognitive level. We may repeatedly ask “Why?” Or perseverate on wishes of revenge thinking that until they are fulfilled we won’t get over the harm done to us. Flashbacks of trauma are visceral reminders of healing that remains to be done, unfinished business that still grips our psyche.

Trauma could be understood as too much life being felt too much at once, the plight of highly sensitive persons. And when trauma effects linger long after the adversity, we may attempt to tamp them down with constant distractions, limitless pleasures, mind deadening or mood-altering addictions. The Mayan culture believes that when someone is lost in addictive activity, particularly to alcohol, they are lost in water – unexpressed grief.

Events that are traumatizing often come “out of the blue.” They are scary times that are suddenly upon us for which we were not adequately prepared, even if it was a natural event, such as the death of a loved one. And when we are broken it can feel like a dismemberment, as if a part of us has been ripped away. Humpty Dumpty has taken a big fall and wonders if he will ever be put back together again.

Interestingly, in many indigenous cultures the person who was torn apart by trauma and then broken down psychologically, often sets out on their own in search of healing, especially when traditional methods were not found to be advantageous.

What I’ve noted in cultures where this occurs is the tendency to go inward for answers rather than give up when others were of no help, formulate individualized remedies, and then upon healing themselves, head home with insights that enable them to become the healer of others. What was originally regarded as horrible pain came to be understood as a necessary wound. The traumatized person returns with gifts harvested from life’s vicissitudes.

Grief is a form of trauma that can cause a breakdown or a breakthrough . We may lose someone to death, to a breakup, or feel grief over the life we always wanted but never lived. Martin Prechtel who lived among the Maya for years wrote a book on the subject, The Smell of Rain on Dust . Learning from the Maya he concluded human beings, without grief experiences, are relegated to a life when then never grow themselves into real, feeling, and emotionally alive persons.

Likening the widowed person to a snake, Prechtel wrote: “It is a time of natural molting, where the armor of rational thought is pulled away long enough to give us the necessary space and time, in which we are open and unhardened enough to let our new vulnerable state and its soft new skin surrender to grief’s able handling of the rudder of our little ship of sorrow and loss.”

Grief can be praise expressed, although for some observers it is difficult to discern this in the confounding initial stages of loss. To have loved deeply and lost suddenly merits a big and often raucous response, something I witnessed when a mother’s infant died before me in the Amazon. I have never seen or heard such a powerful display of emotions and physical gyrations. It frightened me and I wanted to immediately do something to pacify it. My circumscribed perspective construed that her seemingly over-the-top response, if not subdued, was going to be the devastating event that would destroy her too. What she was doing, in reality, was as Peter Levine witnessed among other animals – an immediate and primal shaking off of painful energy. Her natural reaction may have saved her.

Grief’s poetry can be very difficult to understand. For some people who have loved and lost, an MDMA treatment may be a time to sort out the full gamut of how we knew the “other.” Did we lose some of ourselves when they moved on, or did we absorb some remnants of beauty that can passed on as a healing balm for others? Miraculously, this new ancestor may not be just a person in our past, but an energy that bequeaths life to the present and the future.

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MDMA and the Intelligence of Nature

Tue, 27 Dec 2022 20:23:25 GMT

There is no foundation for a “Man and Nature” conceptualization; we are all integral parts of Nature. A kinship or family of interworking relatives.

Humans don’t have to go outside to find Nature, it resides in us and all things on planet earth. We are a contributing part to Nature’s intelligence and consciousness, as is a jaguar, a crystal stone, and bacteria. So it should be of little surprise that a plant like ayahuasca, or a chemical concoction like MDMA, both products of this earth, might add to our brainpower.

From our pedestal as the “wise ones,” fueled by our singular language, we may have tried to divorce our unit from Nature. The idea of being Number One, above all the rest, allows for no permeability of life forms – how we bleed into our other parts. Even when thinking of our human form we still want to draw lines of separation like mind and body .

Interrelationships are to be seen everywhere. As an example, water. It carries and distributes minerals. It carries, moves, and shapes the ground around it. Water contains oxygen, sufuses the 70 percent liquid human body, and provides oxygen for the human body. It gives life to plants. Separations do not occur in Nature.

Scientists call this interconnectivity Complexity Theory . Don Oscar-Miro-Quesado, a traditional healer from Peru, describes it this way: “The capacity of bees, termites, ants, and even humans to instinctively yield collective wisdom and adaptive sustenance together, in resonance with each other, which they are not able to hold in their individual beings, when separate from the whole.”

Research study after research study have revealed the multiple ways in which being connected to other parts of Nature clearly contributes to human physical health and emotional health. And it is worth noting that not one book has ever been written that has been titled The Stupidity of Nature , just literature on its wonders, among them human beings.

We romanticize but don’t often deeply analyze Nature. As a result we are inclined to miss considerable forms of our shared intelligence that ought to humble us: slime finding its way through a maze, an octopus with coordinated brains in each of its nine arms, sheep that recall faces better than humans can do, elephants who can listen with their feet, turtles that talk, and plants that hear water as well as holding the skill to enhance human consciousness with its brain nutrients or mind expanding medicines. If an octopus has nine brains, three hearts, blue blood, the ability to conceal itself with objects, who can shape-shift into toxic fish and sea snakes, they may have much to teach us about the complexity of life, survival, and consciousness. Another important relative.

Trees and fungi communicate electrically underground, warning connecting life of danger and sharing nutrients. Like the human triune brain – cranial, heart, and intestines – they too are quite an electrical system carrying information bodywide.

If we are disconnected from Nature, disconnected from Mother Earth, we are literally disconnected from our species and ourselves. MDMA notoriously enlarges our social awareness, including our relationship with our large family called Nature.

MDMA humbles and educates those who imbibe and absorb it, bringing us down from our pedestal. Differences get diminished. Long held wisdom from within ourselves is enhanced. It creates an environment similar to a family reunion, one in which everyone gets along despite their perceived or concocted differences. It is called unity consciousness .

Arnold Mindell, author of Earth-Based Psychology , summed it up very well with the following words. “In our deepest experiences, in the world of our sentient awareness and of our dreaming mind, we are aspects of the earth. And we [can] go still further with this nonlocal aspect of awareness: In a sense we are the earth; we are the universe looking at itself. We do not become aware and conscious independently of what and who is around us. Our experiences are intimately connected with the world, with the universe itself.”

Then there are the words of a 37 year-old woman reflecting on her MDMA treatments shared in Through the Gateway of the Heart . She said, “A new wave of light moved in and faces of men who were living among the beasts: there were dolphins and fish and tigers and penguins and every living creature, and they were all born from the same womb.” She got it!

From the same book, slightly paraphrasing a 28 year-old woman reflecting on her MDMA treatment, she said: “We long for the experience of opening up and becoming one with one another. The heart opens so that there is no thing between [any] two bodies now. The experience of joy shall be ours, an upward, spiritual growth, an ever unfolding feeling and emotion. Though I speak of you/I/we/ours, it’s all One. The awakening Christus has the remembrance of all that is inside.”

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MDMA and Quantum Time

Tue, 27 Dec 2022 19:27:31 GMT

Every person who experiences MDMA asks the question, “Where did the time go?” What seemed like an hour or two becomes six hours.

But that’s not the only unique thing about this relationship healing empathogen. Some people report seeing ancestors they had never previously met in this life. Others recall events that previously were not thought to be known to them on a conscious level. Still others experience intergenerational healing, accessing and cauterizing painful memories that preceded their birth.

To comprehend this we must understand what Carl Jung called the collective unconscious . By that he meant a stored and shared memory across peoples and across generations. Freud was dismissive of Jung’s thinking but early quantum physicists, like another Austrian, Paul Kammerer, aligned themselves with Jung.

Kammerer was intrigued by coincidences or what later came to be known as the acausal synchronicity principle . Simply put, Kammerer believed information, including memories, cannot be destroyed. He asserted how the environment holds limitless amounts of information even after its source is destroyed by death or separated by distance. Data is still “out there” floating around carrying marks of an original relationship. Everything gains the stamp of the original system, and presumably, that could include trauma. And that information, seemingly separated from us, is not. The phenomenon is called quantum entanglement .

What feels like a massive coincidence, or what Jung called synchronicity , is information in the vast energetic field that bumps into remnants of the “other.” He called the amalgamation of it all the collective unconscious , which can be understood as a collective memory -- a retrievable memory. Further, it would appear that when time is condensed in an MDMA treatment, historical information runs into the now which coalesces into an enlarging consciousness.

The past unites with the present, enriches it, and may alter it for the better. In a way, a full passage of time does not occur. Sleep on that, and wake up yesterday to understand the facts of the field .

It gets more complicated, yet is understandable, when quantum physics is additionally explained by Rupert Sheldrake, a Cambridge University scholar. He developed a theory called morphic resonance . Sheldrake noted that something way out there in the field, finds a familiar lookalike, and upon doing so, causes a reuniting influence of “like upon like.” This phenomenon doesn’t fall off because of time or distance; it is old and new information that keeps building atop each “other” and relationship patterns, or habits, are maintained. Something is awakened in the relative and it is often explained as coincidence, synchronicity, quantum entanglement, telepathy, or morphic resonance . This information is carried by energetic waves, but, somewhat confusingly, there is no transfer of energy.

Sheldrake likens these habits to being a self-organizing system in which all life forms have a collective memory. It is a law of nature. This hypothesis suggests that the information floating about is attracted to similar patterns and then bumps into a comparable wave of data. And, he asserts, intentions can guide and charge the process. The more we have been emotionally bonded and energetically charged by, let’s say, another human who may have harmed us or even a great grandmother, the greater the chance that we all may meet again in one form or another – perhaps in a memory or even a visualization of stored images.

The more often a patterned ritual is repeated -- like the Bushman healing dances that have endured for at least 20,000 years -- a cumulative memory is built up, becomes more habituated, maintained, and inherited with an occasional dump of information. Ancient cave wall paintings depict the same activity and body posture that I have witnessed and are still being practiced in the Bushman Giraffe Dance. And during the heated and focused intent of a healing ceremony, and while in an altered state, I have seen dancers looking heavenward and waving with smiles. They see their ancestors. It is as if the ancient ones were summoned in by intentions and similar patterns. Call it quantum entanglement, morphic resonance, or a good old-fashioned family reunion.

We can inherit genes. We can also inherit morphic states -- memories. And with all that available information arising and at our disposal in an MDMA treatment, one could argue that the constellation of summoned helpers restores a person to an ancient, pre-traumatic, more natural, and healthier state. So when a person is restored in the “now,” knowing that the past is present, one could also assert that intergenerational memories of abuse are being addressed and perhaps updated. Thereafter, less emotional pain will be carried around.

We are in a perpetual habit of organizing and reorganizing. Perhaps that is why, following an MDMA treatment, relief is felt. Some patients have announced, “the buck stops here” because with new emotional tone associated with old information, a change is made that, theoretically, looks like epigenetics.

With an enlarged and higher dimension consciousness experienced with MDMA, plus a flood of calming hormones and brain neurotransmitters, dark energy (hucha) is gently pushed aside, and a lighter vibration (sami) sets in.

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“Because we are made up of energy, keeping negative emotions in the body for too long can cause disease. The higher your dimensional consciousness, the harder it is for negative energy to be in your cells. Love is a healing energy and the strongest weapon we have.” - Kimberly Meredith in Awakening to the Fifth Dimension

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Additional Reading:

The Presence of the Past: The Memory of Nature by Rupert Sheldrake

Meaningful Coincidences by Bernard Beitman

MDMA - Restoring Trust

Sat, 05 Nov 2022 13:24:58 GMT

In the aftermath of trauma, particularly relationship harm, one of the four traumagenic dynamics requiring attention is betrayal .

The other three are powerlessness, stigmatization, and the physical impact on one’s physical self.

Betrayal, trickery, deceit, manipulation, grooming, and gaslighting, are usually a part of interpersonal abuse and the source of hypervigilance and distrust thereafter. When a person becomes exceedingly watchful for the “next shoe to fall” they noticeably vibrate with anxiety. In its most obvious form this can be seen as nervous shaking or, more misleadingly, as giggling laughter when nothing funny is happening.

Betrayals give rise to fearfulness, particularly regarding intimate interactions. Paradoxically, duplicity can cause people to trust too easily or to become very socially cautious and distrustful. The former may be a dangerous attempt to quickly find someone, anyone, who offers care, love, security, advocacy, and protection. The latter reaction is when ideas of basic human goodness go out the window and social avoidance becomes the “solution.” Consequently, with a core need for safety, some victims will become social isolates and resultantly, very lonely.

Many victims will overgeneralize and cynically question social institutions and authority figures, caustically calling them out. It is a way of fighting back. They may second-guess most everyone’s motives, pre-supposing ill-intent, and pick up on signs of danger that most of us miss. When not constantly distracted, most of us have a “go-to” spot in our brains called the default mode network (DMN) where doubt is always the operative thought pattern. For someone traumatized by cruel betrayals, a lot of ruminative time is spent in the DMN.

Truth is sought and becomes valued, overvalued for some, and often never quite attainable. For safety, sometimes victims will withhold information about themselves – their own central truths – as such revelations leave them feeling vulnerable. They may need more and more information, truths and deeper truths about someone before they can begin to trust them, however, they are often reticent to lead with comparable transparency.

Another danger of distrustfulness is the search for certainty in social movements, gurus, or fundamentalist religions. Yet, certainty is often a form of mental rigidity that further sucks the life, creativity, imagination, intuitiveness, and aliveness out of people. Looking for an external source of certitude that is confidently disseminated can dangerously cause some people to blindly trust the purveyor of exploitive vices. The attempt to find a solution, like a pendulum, can swing too far in the opposite direction and one can find themselves abused again.

Pure MDMA, for many people, assists them in arriving at deep inner knowings, deep personal truths about themselves and others.

Being an empathogen – a relational medicine – that is MDMA’s chemical expertise when guided by an experienced psychotherapist. And with the activation of oxytocin, it assists in restoring relationships but not in a careless way. The clarity or lucidity that comes with its sacred ceremonial use helps victims discern who can be trusted and who should be avoided. In fact, the ability to trust in safe and healthy ways is restored for the majority of patients who experience this medicine.

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“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”

- Albert Einstein

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MDMA as Your Truth Detector

Fri, 04 Nov 2022 18:53:45 GMT

"Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.”

- Comedian, Stephen Wright

It may be difficult to review your life story without admitting a few broken rules along the way. When sequestered from the agents of propaganda, and during an MDMA treatment, the full truth can be revealed from deep within yourself. Old rule-breaking behavior might better be reframed as healthy resistance to a previously unhealthy world that surrounded you -- a world characterized by soul suffocation. But when out of self-respect you fight back by defying your oppressors, you may sound like this: “Tell me I can’t speak out…just watch me. From this point on I get to be me.” That was the clarion call of Muhammad Ali, “I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be who I am.” Or, in the words of Gandhi: “The only tyrant I accept is the ‘still small voice’ within me. Even though I have to face the prospect of being a minority of one, I humbly believe I have the courage to be in such minority.”

In Native American culture Raven and Coyote have long been regarded as trickster figures. In the Lakota world (as seen in the TV series Longmire ), the human version is called a heyoka . Similar to Ali they are semi-humorous rule breakers, amoral beings, who teach us much about what is sacred and what is profane. Tricksters tend to be boundary challengers, boundary crossers. Their internal, free-spirited nature ignites and steers their social interactions, especially upon courageously uncovering their deepest personal truth and displaying it in very unconventional ways. And MDMA can catalyze that process, helping to unearth deep insightful realities and embolden you.

When your innate sense of honorable behavior has momentarily left you unable to act, the inner trickster, which can intuitively distinguish between right and wrong, may embolden you to step outside traditional conventions to survive, and eventually to thrive. Your voice returns. This is not about a fleeting state of mind, it is about your original state, potentially your eternal state. Almost always, tricksters have been born out of woundedness.

The wounds often come from abusive encoders , the purveyors of propaganda in our lives that destabilize personal confidence. To move in the direction of recovery, victims must become decoders of perpetrators’ messages. You may recall the story of an Apache Indian who worked in my Wyoming office. Repeatedly, in reference to the challenge of decoding, he would advise patients how to posture themselves in relation to abusive persons. He would say, somewhat tongue in cheek, “Be sure to thank them. They are teaching you how not to be.” In the custom of Native American tricksters, there is the recognition of disguised messages hidden behind confusing and sometimes injurious behaviors. The truth must be deciphered.

Coyotes can be crafty challengers – thrivers -- who have learned how to adapt and rise above ever-present dangers. These tricksters have learned how to trick the tricky. They develop masterful and resilient skills.

Coyote, an old Native trickster figure, is featured in a story involving a predator called “ Mouth at Both Ends ;” the name ought to be sufficiently descriptive of its character. The story features a predacious creature that is deceptive and duplicitousness, which also typifies the nature of many abusive people. Among humans this cunning maneuvering is called gaslighting . In the story, Coyote has long been watchful for dangerous traps set by another kind of animal, humans. Coming upon a snare, the clever canine now chooses to defecate on the trap and in doing so, is no longer a predator nor the prey, but a third animal. He howls in rapture. Coyote has become something more, no longer being defined and confined by the imposed boundaries of others.

For humans, insights can come after a period of introspection, perhaps in and enhanced or altered state. In the MDMA world we talk about brain plasticity. In Coyote’s world, great behavioral plasticity is required in a shifting and oftentimes dangerous world. A fixed repertoire of strategies is not enough; it is necessary to learn new responses to launch a new self-directed lifestyle. Coyote becomes the crafty actor, not just a defensive reactor. Therein is a lesson for us.

So clever behavior isn’t necessarily about deception. In most cases animals simply live their truths. Humans, immediately following abuse, not so much. Their inner truth may be disregarded or forgotten. At various times in life individuals can temporarily be confined by powerful people and cultural forces surrounding them. Ironically MDMA has a crafty ability, however, to bring truths to the surface, which are always more satisfying than the backward-looking life many people have been living. To live out an inner truth is so much more authentic and satisfying than buying into the gaslighting negativity of others. Different from many animals, humans are not restricted by an innate, fixed, or instinctual responses. MDMA is there to help spiritual seekers become more insightful, discerning, flexible, and genuine, resting in the truth of who they really are.

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“He who lives with untruth lives in spiritual slavery. Freedom is still the bonus we receive for knowing the truth.”

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Truth is my God.”

- Mahatma Gandhi

“We cannot freely and wisely chose the right way for ourselves unless we know both good and evil.”

- Helen Keller

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MDMA's Fundamental Teachings

Fri, 04 Nov 2022 18:34:16 GMT

You are your medicine. You are your doctor.

Perhaps for years you have been looking in all the wrong places for healing medicine, what shamans prefer to call living in harmony.

MDMA prefers to make only a few house calls. After that you are on your own, so you don’t become dependent on external chemicals for happiness. Along comes the realization that, “I am the chairman of my own wellbeing.” Some of the entheogens and empathogens awaken divine powers already residing within us. That is the medicine’s fundamental teaching. If we don’t get that message and live it, there may be an eternal quest for ingesting and titrating just the “right” amounts of “this and that,” plant and chemical cocktails, which presumably can assure an unruffled existence through life’s travails.

Kathleen Harrison, in Visionary Plant Consciousness wrote, “When you invoke its medicine [ayahuasca] without even necessarily touching or finding the plant, it has become your deep ally. At that point you have access to the spirit of the medicine.” Dance with its spirit and you may never lose it. A good sign that this ability still rests within you is when you recall previously ingesting an entheogen and noting that within five minutes you feel like you are on another journey. This time, you started your own engine, not the medicine. With this recognition, it may not be necessary to rely on some external agent to jumpstart a spiritual journey.

The medicine takes up residence in your being, in your soul. It can develop a strong and secure mind. It may also be that it provides a split, or shared, consciousness that can be dialed up or toned down at will, a shapeshifting of sorts. This is similar to the experience of animal guardians. Once coessence has been established with another critter, we can summon our medicinal and animal allies at will. At that point we are in the driver’s seat of our lives, not reliant on external magic as now the internal sacred magic is accessible. That’s empowering.

You become magic, not in supernatural ways, but a super natural variety. This is quite the opposite of trauma’s sequelae of powerlessness, hopelessness, helplessness, and despair.

To reactivate the medicinal experience, a major chemical blast, or even microdosing, may not be necessary. Sometimes it’s as simple as going inward and reimagining the prior healing experience. To set that process in motion, repeat the rituals that preceded your medicinal ceremony. Regularly replay or sing the music associated with the treatment. Read literature that resonated with you at that time. All of this may reawaken memories and shift your mood (”feelbacks”) with increasing speed and alacrity over time. As Mandaza Kandemwa, a Shona water spirits shaman would say, “Practice, my dear.”

Persons suffering from addiction engage in external referenting . This is the tendency to rely on aids from outside sources, like drugs, for internal peace. When interiority supplants this tendency, it is called recovery. For instance an alcoholic is rarely told to periodically drink a light beer to jumpstart his recovery. His “stash” is no longer comprised of drugs or alcohol; it now is made up of internalized skills, and abilities, not just substances or intense activities. That is the difference between being grounded, and being high.

What lives inside each of us following a sacred treatment ceremony is the spirit of the medicine and the spirit of our animal allies. With proper care and feeding of these life forces, we can wear a modest yet confidant smile knowing that life is back under our control. Then the external focus is on how we can give back to the wo rld – sacred reciprocity .

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“The Creator dwells in the Seventh Direction, at the center of the universe, which is everywhere and within each person.”

- Black Elk

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Additional Reading:

Never Enough: The Neuroscience and Experience of Addiction by Judith Grisel, Ph.D.

Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari

Lost Connections by Johann Hari

MDMA - The Third Session and Spirituality

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 00:01:20 GMT

Often patients find their third session as being more otherworldly or cosmic in nature.

While the first two are heavy on intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships, the final treatment can strengthen or restore relationships with the earth, other animal relatives, and supportive energy fields in the universe.

In October 2022, the Nobel Peace Prize for Physics was awarded to three scientists who discovered and confirmed what has long been a contention of quantum physics, namely entanglement . Once we have an emotionally or energetically charged connection with any life form, molecules begin to vibrate in unison and they reach a high level of coherence. It is like two become one no matter how far apart they are, which is nonlocality. The connections cause what was once a singular unit to now operate in tandem with their “dance partner.” And the unbroken union allows for communication instantaneously, faster than the speed of sound or light.

What is called the field is like a vast continuum of fluctuating energy charges between people or things. Years ago we may have called this kind of connectivity to be ESP. It was too wishy-washy to be believed, until now. It was harder to understand that the universe exists in some vast here that represents all points of space and time at a single moment. Life exists in a field as one enormous present. If that is the underlying nature of the universe, then the insights that sometimes arise in the third treatment are really a homecoming of sorts.

This energy signature that impacts us on a personal level can be given the moniker Spider Woman, a healing grandmother star figure common in Native American culture. In Christian communities it may be Jesus or Mother Mary making their presence known to us, particularly in ominous, high energy moments. Upon reconnection to the higher vibratory fields that surround us, sudden surges of energy may be the felt presence of a greater coherence with all life forms. On a smaller scale, experienced shamans can raise their own energy levels in a healing session and pass it on to less organized recipients. We are talking about collective consciousness or unity consciousness . It is a one-mindedness that enlarges us and comforts us – heals us to our original condition.

Ann Yusim in Fulfilled , explained: “When two systems vibrate at the same frequency, they are said to be in resonance. When two systems are in resonance, the total energy of the system [field] is greater than its parts. The system with the higher vibrational frequency at the onset causes the other systems to sync up or entrain with it.”

Ancient peoples have been intimately sensitized to Mother Earth’s signals, monitoring them and joining them during contemplative states and group rituals.

Sacred locations – high points, waterfalls, mounds, medicine wheels, etc. – had a felt quality to them. Energy was palpable. It is as if the location holds an elevated level of dynamism.

From my experience with the Achuar tribe of the Ecuadorian Amazon – the consummate dream culture – we assembled every morning before sunrise to vomit together and share our dreams of the night before. This wasn’t simply a storytelling time. In dreams they connect with their ancestors and the rest of the universe. An individual dreamer is unassumingly a conduit for an arriving dream with the responsibility to inform community members of its details. A dream is composed of shared thoughts, borrowed thoughts, collective ideas -- it is reality. Their waking life is a falsehood. A dream is prophetic of what is to come, including guidance for healings based on information drawn down into the quieted human mind from the overarching field of information.

Lynne McTaggart in her book, The Field , wrote about altered views of the world and the potential they can give rise to: “People are more likely to succeed [or heal], instead of believing in a distinction between themselves and the world, and seeing individual people and things as isolated and divisible, [if] they viewed everything as a connected continuum of interrelations -- and also if they understood that there were other ways to communicate than through the usual channels.” This is one of the potential attributes of MDMA, if we step aside and allow our inner map to guide us home.

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“The aim is not to eliminate one way of knowing in favor of another; the aim in an ultimate sense is an integral understanding of the universe grounded in both the scientific empirical detail and in our primordial poetic vision of the cosmos.”

- Brian Swimme, in The Hidden Heart of the Cosmos: Humanity and the New Story

“Clairvoyance isn’t a mind-to-mind thing, like reading people’s thoughts, it lets us see a much larger pattern of existence.” - Elizabeth Lloyd Mayer, in Extraordinary Knowing

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” - E.E. Cummings

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MDMA - Rest as Self-Compassion

Sun, 30 Oct 2022 23:41:36 GMT

If a person was emotionally neglected as a child, or psychologically abused over their life-span, it would not be surprising to find their self-respect to be tenuous.

It may be difficult to conceptualize what healthy self-love looks like in a culture like ours, one that is so narcissistic.

As Tricia Hersey suggests in her book Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto , it is difficult to be kind to ourselves by simply resting as that can feel indefensible in a culture that is so fast-paced, capitalistic, and performance oriented. For many of us, we can only conceive of ourselves as worthwhile if there is enough evidence – accomplishments and/or wealth – to support the conclusion.

Personal value, all too often, is conflated with work output. And when we rest, it is frequently done with the intent of readying ourselves for more work, which translates to more profit, and more social acceptance. So who, or what, is driving this self-abuse?

Hersey is the founder of what she calls The Nap Ministry . She strongly believes that, like a political movement, we must become more uncompliant and resist unwelcome and unsupportive pressures – whether from family, culture, or even ourselves – that keep us performing, producing, and working our bodies until they collapse on us. As I was pithily counseled after a long period of massive work production (“serving”) and marathon running (“recreation”), “Death will be Nature’s way of telling you to slow down.” After physically collapsing, I understood the message, sorta.

Hersey’s words: “Stand up for yourself by laying down,” especially before your body makes the decision in the absence of guidance from your mind. A migraine may be the first big clue that you are operating under someone else’s set of rules. Hersey advises us to reclaim our inner authority, our personal sense of agency.

Planned resting is regenerative, not just for the lower body, but the brain as well.

Danes tend to promote this healthy habit with a notion called hygge . They believe there comes a time after incessantly serving others that our time must come. This Danish concept suggests the dogma encompassing laziness can be hazardous to our health as it can propel us into a work frenzy.

After an MDMA treatment (or three) patients often speak of inhabiting a new internal atmosphere. A more comfortable space in their mind, in their thinking. It comes after reflecting on well-established life patterns and unexamined relationship influences. The healing process allows a heart generative expansion that can lead to the conclusion: I am entitled to a little more hygge and self-care.

I have warm memories of such moments after working several long and challenging days in Sweden. One is of ending workdays with a long and relaxing sauna. Another time it involved a “forest bath,” a hike when I encountered a regal moose, and feeling quite contented, returned to my brother’s home to start a fire and jointly prepare some fish stew of cod and salmon. I found all of it to be healing and restorative, yet I noted how disinclined I was to maintain similar hygge upon returning home to Wyoming. It was if I needed a fellow conspirator’s approval in the resistance. We must personally and internally seize permission to be who we truly are with far less deference, far less acquiescence.

One salient goal of an MDMA treatment is to examine our lifestyle. With it comes a reflection on the dogmatic rules that propelled us onto this unhealthy path, a path of personal infidelity. And if the MDMA ceremony had some honoring rituals – chocolate bath, candles burning, prayerfulness, massage, and a feast afterward – part of the essential medicine, the medicine that walks , is received outside of a capsule.

Connie Zweig, in The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul , summarized a patient’s experience after intensive psychotherapeutic treatment. She wrote: “Paula saw that caregiving contains many pairs of opposites that, at times, feel like they were pulling her apart: doing/being, obligation/choice, resisting/accepting, dependent/independent, and especially self/other. Eventually, she learned to recognize when she moved into one side and fell into identification with it. Slowly, she expanded to hold the tension of these opposites and to witness them from a broader vantage point.” That is “the way of it” when we stop, get off the crazy train, and self-examine.

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MDMA and Flipping our Thoughts

Sun, 30 Oct 2022 23:24:01 GMT

Healing comes when we reassess some of our habitual thoughts and feelings.

On the flip side of every negative experience there is a positive shadow, a message filled with insights and potential for growth. Realistically, it may take years to get to a full appreciation that all of what life presents – including sadness, hurt, trauma, and more – has a helpful message encoded in it. The responsibility we have to ourselves is to take another look at our reactivity so we can decode it and see how so-called “negativity” prompts to make some positive inner conversions.

The inner environment is often filled with self-aggression masked as anger toward circumstances or people outside of us. But upon closer examination our adversaries are usually as busy as we are seeking similar acceptance and understanding. The searching urge is commonly built on a precarious foundation of shame such that when acceptance and understanding is offered, it seems fraudulent – presumably somebody just wants something from us, so we pull away.

In the midst of this inner pain, the same things others are grappling with, holds a golden nugget of insight. For instance, our shared insecurity, commonly born of pain, has the potential to promote empathy. In many instances, we can compassionately understand others through ourselves. Two presumed negatives can give rise to a positive. With that awareness we can immediately feel safer and more willing to extend forgiveness to all – ourselves included.

“Each painful emotion is a confused form of brilliance ,” wrote Susan Piver in The Buddhist Enneagram: Nine Paths to Warriorship . That discernment alone is brilliant and worth remembering. In Buddhist philosophy this is Vajrayana, the viewpoint that strong emotions are not simply afflictions, but are wisdom emanations in themselves that we can’t allow to slip by us undiscovered.

What Piver is reminding us to do is to stay in touch with reality, the common human experience, and in so doing, diminish separateness.

The better we know our own emotional pain, the better we can understand the pain of others. Therein lies the opportunity for connection.

Change usually doesn’t come from inner examination and self-policing alone; too often that creates inner blockages. Positive change mostly comes from relationships, especially troubled ones when, eventually, we see ourselves in others and recognizing our common humanity. There is continuous resonance between the inner and outer world, something modern physicists call quantum entanglement . MDMA has a knack for helping us understand traumatic relationships from the Vast Self perspective. And when our sovereign ego can shrink, the divine in us can expand. With this understanding it is safe to conclude that big changes can be cultivated out of big messes. Our cognitive and emotional evolution occurs as a result of challenging predicaments. So, have you had any big relationship messes? Okay then, you may be all set to dramatically grow.

Our thinking is not free standing, it is part of the ever-penetrating World-Soul as Ulrich Dupree explained in the book Ho‘oponopono , a traditional Hawaiian perspective on forgiveness. Every relationship problem, he contends, is a challenge and offers learning opportunities. He wrote, “People and problems we perhaps see as foes, are really our best friends, because they show us where we have work [to be done].” And Dupree offers consummate advice: give up! By that he means we must forsake our opposition against all that we defend ourselves from in hopes of feeling safe and accepted. To do otherwise is the equivalent of asking pain to come back with a vengeance.

This is the emotional burden we carry after trauma or abandonment – separation, anger, and grasping. With is comes delusion, whereby what we focus our thinking on is what later unfolds in our lives. Then our thoughts fall into the habit of confirming the original thinking that gave rise to the pain. British philosopher, James Allen, author of As a Man Thinketh wrote, “You are today where your thoughts have brought you, and tomorrow you will be where your thoughts will bring you.”

One of the intentions behind an MDMA treatment is to move your relationship thinking to relationship discernment, developing clearer judgments without being judgy. Without being preachy. Without condescension. Life becomes so much easier when we recognize how all of us are a part of the Whole.

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“The better you know your own pain, the more you will understand the pain of others. In this view, ‘negative’ feelings can be examined as ways to open more thoroughly to others. Check! Inarguable!” - Susan Piver in The Buddhist Enneagram: Nine Paths to Warriorship

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MDMA and the Embodied Mind

Sat, 15 Oct 2022 16:39:47 GMT

If you have driven rural roads out West, specifically in cattle country, it’s likely you have rattled across a cattle guard every now and then.

I’m referring to steel cross bars elevated off the ground that are placed at the edge of a rancher’s land to keep cattle confined. An Angus will approach it sighting wide open spaces in front of it but will stop abruptly upon seeing the spaces between them. That two foot chasm beneath the bars distresses it and the cow turns around staying on its assigned land.

Then, if you take the offspring of that same Angus and never expose them to a cattle guard but instead paint horizontal lines on pavement near the boundary, they will turn back. In fact the cautionary imprint left on its mind gets passed on for several generations as if the cattle had always grown up around bona fide cattle guards, as if they are familiar with them.

At Tufts University School of Medicine, male mice exposed to chronic social instability and stress during adolescence transmitted stress-associated behaviors to their female offspring across for at least three generations even if they weren’t exposed to significant stress themselves, and never interacted with their fathers.

Offspring of Holocaust victims and progeny of the systematic abuse of Native Americans leaves an imprint as well. At the Mount Sinai School of Medicine a study looked at children of Holocaust survivors and noted they experienced the same hormonal abnormalities that were seen in direct survivors. Additionally, in the 1980s, Maria Yellow Horse Brave Heart, a Lakota professor of social work, coined the term historical trauma . What she noted was “the cumulative emotional and psychological wounding over the life span and across generations ” following colonization.

Other early studies of the intergenerational passage of trauma showed increased vulnerability to PTSD, distrust of the world, impaired parental function, chronic sorrow, an ever-present distrust and fear of danger, separation anxiety, boundary issues, and other psychiatric issues. And the influence of PTSD – spoken or unspoken – impacted children on biological and social levels.

Parents pass on genetic characteristics to their children BUT they also pass on acquired characteristics; that is epigenetic traits, especially if they originated in powerful and emotionally charged social experiences such as violence, separation, or the tragic loss of loved ones by oppressors.

The traumas leave an indelible imprint on genetic material in germ cells of individuals and can be transferred to their children, to their children’s children, etc.

So when a person feels chronically depressed and angry, deeply distrustful, prejudiced, filled with anxiety, and wears a defensive “body armor,” their search for trauma may begin but no evidence may be uncovered…at least in this generation. How confounding. Psychiatric patients may carry an amorphous and intractable wound that gets personalized and damages their self-esteem while their best therapeutic efforts do not reveal any discernable causal factors or yield results.

Bessel van der Kolk has renewed our interest in this phenomena in his best-selling book, The Body Keeps the Score . He was referring to cellular memory . More recently, in The Embodied Mind by Thomas Verney, M.D., he concludes there are brain centers throughout our body and the cranium may not be where memories are exclusively held; many are stored in our cells, bodywide, only to be released when we can handle it.

Verney’s book has many significant takeaways:

The life experiences of parents and grandparents may impact the physical and emotional health of their descendants as if a trauma was directly experienced.

Traumatic experiences of our ancestors can lead to extra sensitivity to future traumatic events when we react more strongly than expected.

Genes don’t make us who we are. Gene expression (epigenetics) does. The expression is contingent upon the life we live. Our DNA is the cellular equivalent of the iCloud.

When cells grow up they remember their childhoods, their conception, or even their parent’s childhoods.

The bacterial community (biofilms) of our electrical intestines are capable of learning and remembering, much like the electrical transfer of information in our cranial brain.

The heart, like the gut, contains an intrinsic nervous system that exhibits both short and long-term memory functions.

What our ancestors didn’t face and resolve accumulates leaving us with pain that it is difficult to “put our finger on,” leaving us puzzled as to what to do about the deep and lasting sadness.

Much of what happened in previous generations – shameful and unaddressed secrets – has left its mark locked in the cellular structure of the body. The body remembers better and longer than the cranial brain. Therefore body-oriented psychotherapy may be beneficial.

Ideas about the heart that we carry in our collective unconscious , of it being the center of thought, feeling, and personality, are closer to modern science than previously postulated.

While MDMA is a heart brain and cranial brain medicine, no scientific evidence is available attesting to its effectiveness in resolving intergenerational trauma. Anecdotal accounts, however, are cautiously optimistic.

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“The universe is not only stranger than we think, but stranger than we can think.”

- Werner Heisenberg, Nobel Prize winner for the discovery of quantum mechanics

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MDMA and Suffering

Fri, 14 Oct 2022 23:42:46 GMT

In the mind of his Holiness the Dalai Lama, suffering and compassion are conjoined, they are inseparable.

He teaches the Four Noble Truths, the first of which is: If you are alive, you will predictively experience suffering. When that happens most people tend to instinctively go inward, losing track of other person’s and their similar experiences of emotional pain. The inclination is to detach from friends and nest. Healing, however, involves bringing those two elements, suffering and compassion, together again. This means re-connecting with one another to allow it to happen.

Tibetan Buddhist teachings distinguish between three types of suffering: 1) the suffering of suffering, 2) the suffering that accompanies change, and 3) the suffering of pervasive conditioning.

The first one refers to the inevitability of suffering and the need to immerse ourselves in it so that we can understand similar pain in other people. It is a common experience that connects us because we are all hurting in various degrees. Suffering must be a social event if compassion is to unfurl from it. A person can’t allow their suffering to go unexperienced while in isolation because that can uncouple them from the rest of humanity and, therefore, their ability to experience compassion for everyone, including themselves. So, a degree of self-reflection is important before one can imagine similar pain all around them and resume being a part of the Whole. The Dalai Lama says, “Only by opening our hearts to others can we experience true happiness ourselves.” And MDMA is referred to as the “heart opening medicine.”

A second kind of suffering often arises when our world has been turned upside down – like when trauma strikes. The natural human tendency is to resist this imposed change , to return to what we’ve long known, even if it has been a largely unhappy existence in largely unsatisfying social relationships.

In Buddhist circles, change is to be regarded as the teacher who brings an awakening and transformation to people, like a seed readying us to germinate, take root, grow, and blossom.

This leads to the cessation of ignorance , how the slumbering human mind can no longer play tricks on us. So, Buddhism is best seen not as a religion, but as a philosophy or psychology of finding enlightenment (purification of the mind), even amidst turmoil and change – a big job indeed.

The third type of suffering – pervasive conditioning -- is another way of referring to a cyclical existence of looping, obsessing, and ruminating following adversity. This is when people in pain repeat the same thought patterns and coping behaviors again and again even though they do nothing, for the most part, to free individuals from an entrenched reaction to pain. This is regarded as self-inflicted suffering, or in football terms, “piling on.” Suffering, however, can be regarded as a prompt encouraging us to cut into well-established and reactive habits that have kept discomfort alive. If a person alters their response to suffering, thereby disallowing pain to sustain a mind primarily focused on the story of suffering, they cease feeling like a helpless victim. In that way the individual becomes the conductor of their mind’s symphony, and by learning how to interrupt the cycle of pain to chronic suffering, an increasingly harmonic concerto is composed.

Buddhist philosophy suggests we may not always know the karmic beginning of a phase or cycle. The good news is that it is much easier to determine the end point. If our motive -- our intention -- is to labor at uncovering the root of suffering within ourselves, we will likely find a way out. Part of the disentangling will come via compassion -- self-compassion and compassion for others -- and perhaps surprisingly, extending it to enemies as well. An abuser’s ignorance of the pain they have been inflicting, and the reasons behind it, is no excuse for us to remain ignorant of the same. So the goal of compassion is to rise above the fray with intrapersonal and interpersonal wisdom, not for a moment liking what has happened to us, but simply understanding the human condition more fully.

That is the subtle interdependent nature of relationships , according to basic Buddhist tenets. MDMA treatments are designed to awaken that part of the mind that provides greater understanding of the human condition of which we are inextricably bound – social connectivity. After all, it is divisiveness that causes suffering, yet unity relieves it. But what causes the causes? Unexamined human patterns of thought.

When a person gets closer and closer to understanding their karmically conditioned existence – those troublesome, puzzling, and uncomfortable cycles they engage in – it is at that point an individual can experience cessation , the ability to govern their responses (vs. impulsive and thoughtless reactions ) to the expected pain of predictable life traumas and tragedies.

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“Our true enemy resides inside ourselves, not outside.”

- Dalai Lama

“Unless we have some experience of suffering, our compassion for others will not amount to very much. Therefore, the will to free ourselves from suffering precedes any sense of compassion for others.” - Dalai Lama

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Additional Reading: The Dalai Lama’s Little Book of Mysticism: The Essential Teachings

MDMA - Indigenous Appropriation or Appreciation

Tue, 11 Oct 2022 22:53:46 GMT

MDMA is one medicine among many that has been shown to foster significant personal growth.

Personal observation has revealed that when an indigenously-inspired and soul-based approach is integrated (not stolen or taken out of context), one that includes reverent rituals within a healing ceremony, results will be amplified.

In preparing this article a “thank you” goes out to Dine’ (Navajo) Elder, Belinda Eriacho who inspired much of what will be shared here. Primarily, this piece will be about spirit. That is to say we live in an animated world where everything is alive, singing its own unique song, and seeking harmony with all other energies that can be felt, and yes, heard. Science is catching up with Native American cosmology in that devices now can pick up on sounds from some of the least expected sources, like plants. Among plants brimming with spirit include San Pedro (mescaline), ayahuasca, peyote, iboga, mushrooms, tobacco, and many more.

Belinda’s way of languaging the sacred use of plants and medicines is helpful. As an example she speaks of arriving at an innerstanding vs. understanding , a way of going deep inside and far outside with the help of medicines to gain knowledge . This is not about gathering information as much as it is about formulating wisdom which comes from experience. It is one thing to speak of evidence-based and statistically supported information, quite another to be open to intuitive knowings arrived at in other realms. Belinda gives voice to the Native American idea that non ordinary states are actually ordinary when medicines are used in a sacred way. Mystical states are common when consciousness expands.

Further, Belinda can appreciate the Buddhist emphasis on a not-knowing mentality which leads to a knowing once we relinquish, or unlearn, some of our more cherished notions of contemporary thinking and merge it with traditional ways of understanding the universe we live in. When we are less caught up in the business of everyday living and escape into reality from time to time, we can better appreciate the gifts of other realms.

And when we are gifted in this way, sacred reciprocity is our responsibility. First, however, we must give, then we may receive. That is the order of sacrality , a sacred way of being on Mother Earth. Reciprocity is an exchange of energy, a grateful thank you in advance of receiving gifts. In the Q’ero culture of Peru they have a word for this, ayne , which boils down to: Today for you Pachamama, tomorrow for me.

When we practice under the influence of the old ways, and under the influence of plant and synthetic medicines, humility must guide us. It is indispensable to the healing process that we appreciate and give thanks for the ancient traditions. We appreciate rather than appropriate. Then, upon seeing the results from blending old and new ways, we refuse to become puffed up with personal importance, but quite comfortable with a quiet confidence or authoritativeness that comes from experience, from wisdom. Borrowing from old traditions is guided by humbleness and modesty which is not contradicted by exhibiting confidence in these ways.

In Navajo culture there is a practice called the beauty way . It is about walking in beauty on the Mother with a good heart, clean and clear intentions, balanced, and without shame, envy, or greed.

It is the way of soft harmony that understands that a gentle benevolence, or beauty, surrounds us. We simply need to experience and then merge with that spirit. Sometimes MDMA can assist us with its heart-opening gifts.

Healing requires a sacred space . To create such an environment – ideally close to Nature -- pure hearts are needed. It is also important to clear the space , purifying it by smudging with a variety of plants – maybe sweetgrass, tobacco, or cedar of the north, or the imphepho herb used by African Zulu sangomas. Once a person and the healing environment have been cleansed, energies can be further moved in ways like drumming, dancing, or chanting. Then, after a healing or transformation has occurred, people unfamiliar with these practices are inclined to say a miracle has transpired and that magic has been used. This type of magic can better be understood as sacred magic , a mysterious way of healing that science has yet to fully comprehend, so it gets diminished by unbelievers.

MDMA is about honoring and restoring relationships with everything on the planet. As the Lakota say, mitakuye oyasin – all my relatives. Buddhists refer to right relationship. It is about a respectful connectivity that becomes much clearer upon ingesting entheogens and empathogens. We relinquish some of our self-importance, supplanting ego with a wider perspective. An entanglement with all of existence leaves us feeling less isolated, less helpless, less self-important. Unity consciousness or one -mindedness is the merging, or subsuming, of all relationships which allows us to walk in beauty .

For more information about Belinda, go to: Kaalogii.co

(Kaalogii means butterfly in Dine’)

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MDMA and Tree Rings: The Dendrochronology of Life

Mon, 05 Sep 2022 00:41:42 GMT

Traumatic experiences may represent a tiny fraction of a person’s life story. Many other things likely happened as well. It is useful to put everything that has occurred to us in proper perspective so as not to skew and darken our complete life experience.

If we over-identify with a specific time period and persistently share that narrative with friends, family, and therapists, two rather predictable issues may develop: 1) a sense of helplessness and 2) depression.

Several years ago I was forced to fell a giant white oak tree in my backyard. The majestic behemoth suffered from oak leaf wilt and could no longer sprout leaves. When I counted the rings that tallied her long life, I determined she was at least 135 years old. There were thick bands along with much narrower bands that revealed periods of normal and abundant moisture, life enhancing periods that were contrasted by strained times of drought. Interestingly, I was able to locate a time -- only a decade before her passing -- that seemed to coincide with a massive flood in the area.

So the old oak’s story was long and variegated -- multi-colored if you will -- that preceded my arrival on the planet by many decades. As with humans, not every year, or every decade, is the same as the one before. How a person’s perspective of life events is described may be like a woven tapestry of colors, or it may reflect one continuously dark experience, an extended dark night of the soul . No clear pattern may be evident except, perhaps, for how we choose to tell the story. Of course, we would never deceive ourselves, would we? But if it is our personally crafted narrative, and further if the telling is not carefully scrutinized, we may wrongly assume it to be accurate; quite assuredly the result being self-inflicted suffering.

Psychotherapist Byron Katie has written about the natural human habit of believing most every thought, and nearly every word, that emerges from our mind. It’s all regarded as truth, particularly if we have repeated the same ideas and narratives for years and had it validated by well-intentioned therapists. She warns us, however, “When you argue with reality you lose, but only 100 percent of the time.” And in her cryptic manner, she added (paraphrased), “I love what I think, but rarely am I tempted to believe it.”

Certainly I’m not suggesting that we challenge the core reality of our traumatization. Nor am I saying it wasn’t a difficult time in our life. But memories can change with each re-telling and the stories can become confabulated , in other words, distorted and somewhat inaccurate with the passage of time. They can also develop a long shelf life. We owe ourselves better if healing is to occur.

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Comparing trees to humans can be useful. Patrice Bouchardon, writing in her book The Healing Energy of Trees , has compared the life experience of a tree to a human life in five ways:

1) An emotion is always triggered by an event or experience which seems to be the reason why we feel as we do. In fact, the true reason, the root cause of our sensitivity, is out of sight resting in the unconscious, just as tree roots are hidden the earth.

2) In any given situation that prompts an emotional response, we tend to react in the same way. This habit of reaction becomes the trunk of our behavioral pattern, the inflexible core story of our existence.

3) Driven by our feelings, we come up against the need to make a choice and branches may split off.

4) If we carry through with the idea of our life being fertilized by often malodorous pain, we may bear fruit just as a tree does. It can turn out as sour or sweet.

5) After a while, with wounds being ignored or suppressed, or thinking the problems are gone or even solved, they can surprisingly reappear. They may resurface in a different guise, but are recognized and explained as the same ole thing. Similarly, the many acorns shed from an oak tree during a drought may lie underground for a time, out of sight and momentarily forgotten, but later they assuredly reappear in the form of a new life, first remembering and then re-membering a resumption of the bigness that still awaits. The oak may not be an exact copy of the original version, but a close relative. It may survive, or even thrive, thereafter.

Bouchardon asks us to consider during which periods in our life we have evolved the most. What situations provoked the most change, whether times of emotional drought or times of love aplenty? Times of interpersonal harm, or times of nurturance?

Sometimes, following a drought, the next year’s copious rainfall erases harmful remnants of the past. And sometimes after trauma we have a growth spurt, perhaps arising as an inner surge spawned by an MDMA treatment. Our seed of life and growth is activated once again.

We pave over an old, negative, life-changing, and unforeseen trauma with a positive trauma -- namely a planned, powerful, even bewildering, life-enhancing event.

Bouchardon says: “It is all too easy to think being sick is the opposite of being well – that we are either in one state or the other, either in a crisis or everything is fine. If we remain stuck in this polarized attitude we miss out on learning all that an illness or problem can teach us about our own personal growth [potential] and enlarging our repertoire of behavior. Realizing that an illness follows a specific sequence helps us out of this trap.” The worldly problems we encounter can lead us to a deeper encounter with ourselves, the potential concealed within us.

Analogously, Bouchardon goes on, “If you wish to discover trees by touch, you must first close your eyes.” Similarly, if we want to discover our core, soul, or life force we must first blindfold our eyes and look inward. She adds, “Approaching life in this way means being less obsessed by the [outward] circumstances of our problems and more free to look at which of our life tasks we are being challenged to work on.”

Each tree, like each human being, has an energy field that extends beyond its physical container. Since a tree has none of the distortions and fluctuations like the human ego can produce, its energy pattern is more constant -- more consistent than ours. As with humans, there remains a “still, small voice within” like the tree’s consciousness that reminds itself to “keep growing.” And a tree’s indomitable spirit always seems determined to sprout and extend its branches. Similarly, the human brain, upon undergoing a medicinal empathogen treatment, extends its neuronal branches called dendrites . They allow for a more accurate way of processing new insights and information, a fresh way of narrating a life story, one that is filled with both a history of terror and an eventual outcome of exuberance.

“Observe closely in what part of your body you hear a particular sound. You will come to realize that you can hear through places other than your ears, which turns our accepted ideas upside down but opens a gateway into new realms of understanding the world we live in.” Patrice Bouchardon in The Healing Energies of Trees .

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MDMA and Psychic Flypaper

Sun, 04 Sep 2022 22:15:46 GMT

One of the benefits of working with an empathogen is that you don’t hallucinate. An MDMA patient stays with reality but plunges into a deeper level of self-examination and self-awareness than ever before.

They approach what Jung called the shadow , the shameful “dark behind” that a person has worked so hard to keep hidden from others. But a person can give themselves away and be seen when they protest very loudly and cynically about the shortcomings and evil of other folks. This is called projection . Somehow we are unconsciously approaching our dark side when we are busy attributing it to others.

When a person is consciously unaware of their internal self-loathing, they assign similar nasty traits to others. There is something strangely magnetic about this process. Jung referred to this phenomenon as “psychic flypaper.” It offers a hook that similar people in hiding can “hang” their shadow projections on. And when a group of people share a common foe they can easily team up with other accusers, and in so doing, validate their righteousness while hiding from their own unsavory backside. In this way they can be convinced there is nothing shadowy about themselves, problems are always discovered to exist externally.

Entire groups of people can avoid taking a close look at their hurtful interpersonal relations if they team up in this fashion. It has happened numerous times in recent history from Hitler to American politics. Paradoxically, an entire nation can “unite” through this form of divisiveness. Some refer to this as the collective unconscious , others see it as a shared psychosis or, using indigenous language as a highly contagious thought virus known as windigo or wetigo . It is a cultural madness that, when short of personal insight, sweeps us into its fold. Like a virus it gets transmitted from generation to generation and could be regarded as a collective, inherited form of PTSD.

Paul Levy wrote in Dispelling Wetigo : “When there is mutual shadow projection between individuals, groups or nations, each side has an unconscious investment in the other playing out the projected evil so as to prove their own self-righteous innocence.” This is a common remedy for shame that is often put in place by trauma. In the long run, it harms social relationships.

Now, think of a wood tick or a mosquito that hungrily latches on to us and sucks our blood, and therefore spirit, from us. Levy again: “The wetigo bug, which covertly inspired the [interpersonal] conflict in the first place, is then able to gorge itself on the polarization, as it strengthens itself on the very divisiveness and discord it generates.”

The beauty of MDMA is that you, and not a group foisting an intervention on you, will gently guide you back on course. You will, with amazing ease, take your own intrapersonal and interpersonal inventory and sense a strong compulsion to “right the ship.”

An inner moral compass once again finds your true North Star sensibility and decency and no longer is it swayed by the masses who remain in denial.

The MDMA experience always entails two helpers who, as Quakers would say, “bear witness” to your honesty, your bravery, your personal reset. This is much more helpful than having a private personal thought, an idea, or a reflection about an unappealing part of our self, only to let it fade away without helpful changes being made. We have all done that. When we humbly move away from a spot of division, a sense of familiarity with humankind develops, especially our shared vulnerabilities, and in its place a feeling of unity with the family of human beings sets in. With trusted persons observing this transformation, it is difficult to turn back into the disease process of wetiko.

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“Whenever we deal with the darkness within ourselves, our realization nonlocally registers throughout the entire field of consciousness, which changes everything.”

- Paul Levy in Dispelling Wetigo

“We have met the enemy and he is us.”

- Pogo comic strip

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MDMA: May Dolphin Magic Arise

Sun, 04 Sep 2022 00:47:27 GMT

I was walking alone along a tributary of the Amazon River when a beautiful and magical incident occurred.

Standing quietly on the shore I gazed out with a calmness that enveloping forested areas tend to bring out in me. While I had heard stories of pink dolphins residing inland, far from the Pacific Ocean, specifically in the Amazon Basin, I never anticipated I would ever see one.

Suddenly the snout and head of a dolphin emerged from the water immediately in front of me. It stared at me curiously (I think) making a high pitched sound. Visually color challenged as I am, I noticed something very different about this male relative, Dolphin was pink. I squatted down to get closer to water level hoping to seem less imposing. And I decided to talk to him (gender determined later). As soon as I did so, Dolphin slid back underwater. Well, “That was cool!” I thought.

A short time later, maybe a minute or so, he arose from the water balancing a dark clump of something on his snout. He swam right up to me. I understood it to be a gift so I lifted it from his head and set it aside me. Dolphin disappeared again. Moments later, he was back once more with another lump of what later turned out to be a hardened chunk of soil. It was placed next to me and I thanked him.

Now I reached out with my hand to touch him, to connect with Dolphin. He lovingly (again, my sense of it) stared at me, checking me out. When my hand touched him above and behind the eyes, he glided closer and rolled over. I took it as an invitation to stroke his belly, which he physically indicated he loved.

The event seemed to deliver several messages related to connecting with the rest of the animal world, including those who are the finned ones, not just the two-leggeds. It also said something about shared consciousness and communicating with a universal, primal, audible and inaudible, language. Then there was the gifting, an expression of reciprocity which implies a cooperative, collaborative, and supportive relationship between all live forms, all family members.

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This memory was rekindled after reading today’s morning meditation by Frederique Pichard, a dolphin intelligence researcher. Pichard recalled spotting a dolphin swimming in the harbor near her home in Royan, France. There was a call felt, as if Dolphin was a distant relative in search of her. Pichard immediately waded into the water and gently approached what she estimated was a 750- pound lost friend. She extended her arms, hands turned upward, and Dolphin scooted over to be cradled in them, what Pichard called a pivotal magical encounter in her scientific and spiritual studies. The French scientist wrote, “He [Dolphin] had instantly felt that I was no stranger in the world of vibrations.” And the human went on, “I think I was being taken down to the cellular level.”

Since then, Pichard discovered a new way to communicate with “other” species – something that was no longer through artistic expression alone, but via something more subtle, namely vibration. This was a subtle yet deep form of communication from cell to cell, a language of bodily vibrations.

Dolphins, she has observed, live constantly in what is called an alpha brain wave state -- an altered state of consciousness as we know it -- when they can be half awake, half asleep. In such a state of consciousness, we/they/us can become one with the universe, embracing all that is while feeling safely connected.

Some of you who have encountered ceremonial MDMA may appreciate this altered state of consciousness, a positive regression into primal awareness and connection with all that is sentient.

Pichard concluded that when we feel very lonely, this is a call to Nature, not always to another romantic partner or a stranger sitting next to us at a bar. She writes: “We are the universe, all of us together, even when we think that we are alone. Our human suffering is often due to the illusion of separation, which generates cravings and feelings of abandonment.”

Then there is one other mammalian relative that Pichard is captivated with, Whale. She has said, “According to the indigenous myth of the Fifth Dream, humans were dreamt into being by whale.” Whale has a very high frequency voice she has noted, much like Dolphin, and also somewhat like the music of Mozart. Creatures of the sea world are singing us into a unifying transformation, ascension. Finally, Pichard concluded with this communication received from her harbor friend, Dolphin: “I am coming with you, but I am not carrying you.

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Additional Reading: Reconnecting to the Source by Ervin Laszlo

MDMA: Understanding Threads and Lights

Sun, 04 Sep 2022 00:24:05 GMT

It’s quite well known that psychedelics, like psilocybin and LSD can, especially at their onset, generate impressive visual effects.

Hallucinations are simply unfastened visions that are no longer anchored by external forces, circumstances, or societal perceptions. The mind “lets loose.” Another way of conceptualizing visionary experiences is to regard them as a way of receiving different or additional eyes, along with a new and different language – one that doesn’t rely on words.

These psychedelic visions – quite similar worldwide, across cultures and time -- may include bright colors in the form of flowing prisms or geometric designs. The technical term for them is form constants . Stanislav Grof has suggested that descriptions of recurring symbols may point to an intuitive comprehension (albeit somewhat vague) of universal cryptograms (secret codes) of esoteric texts -- almost like a subquantum field containing a complete record of everything that has happened in the universe stored in this suggestive form. Many people have attributed deep and profound spiritual implications to the forms and colors.

These psychedelic experiences, others argue, are caused by complex neurological and biochemical alterations that scramble our sensory apparatus, create different neural pathways, and are somewhat analogous to autism, synesthesia, or schizophrenia. It is human nature to want to explain such things from an established paradigm which could impart a sense of scientific accuracy, but that, it could be argued, is potentially a narrow and limiting perspective. Jonah Goldberg has written, “Science is wonderful at explaining what science is wonderful at explaining, but beyond that it tends to look for its car keys where the light is good.”

There also seems to be a need in us humans – perhaps spiritual or maybe even entertainment oriented -- that yearns for far-reaching or superstitious explanations for the seemingly inexplicable. We can’t quite settle for mystery and are compelled to shape visions into something personally appealing. For instance, when I learned that people born blind can see during a near death experience, I wondered what else might our brains and minds be innately capable of doing in tandem, particularly when “under the influence.”

Joseph Campbell hinted that there may be submerged parts of an iceberg resting below our western understanding of consciousness. He believed that much of what Freud and his disciples referenced in this regard -- like fears, immoral urges, shameful experiences, etc. -- reflected only a tiny smidgeon of what slumbered in the deep recesses of our subconscious and unconscious mind, a mind that we now think may be shared with a larger universal intelligence. With his characteristic Irish wit, Campbell suggested, “Freud was fishing for minnows while sitting on a whale.”

MDMA, an empathogen, does not offer a comparable extravaganza of lights to entertain us. This medicine offers feeling-enhancers and a special mode of perception in which the world of persons and objects is neither distorted nor left behind.

Claudio Naranjo wrote: “Everything becomes clearer, sharper, not only appearing to be more ‘present’ than usual, but with a density of formal relationships that creates the impression that each thing is a miracle of perfection even in its imperfections.” A larger appreciation and acceptance for life is grasped.

The colors and light patterns reported by many MDMA patients seem to have similar characteristics among them including possible veiled meanings. They may appear as threads of light, tunnels of light, sacred lights, glowing orbs, stars, auras, pinpoints of light emerging from cells of the body, or colorful swirling cones of energy, to name a few.

I’ve also heard descriptions of coordinated “squiggles” of energy with “synchronized patterned movements” hinting at opposites that partially divulge a hidden balance and order to life. “Gentle swaying strands” of sparkling light dots, or “tubes of light swaying in the wind,” have been described to me. For some they seem to hold old and connected fragments of information woven into their threads – almost like hidden insights or life clues awaiting discovery. One person, trying to find descriptive language for the visions said, “It was like the money tube at the bank’s drive-up window, information going back and forth.”

Perhaps we can best understand these MDMA images as our personal symbols, our custom-made way to decode complex phenomenon. Remember these symbols because they may carry individual significance for you, the seer, much like how we try to make sense of our dream world. Being generated from inside us, it is up to us to decide what they mean. But keep in mind, we are in the world and the world is in us, and this is a participatory universe. That begs the question, “Are these internal or external lights, or both, playing with each other?” After all, MDMA is notorious for being a relational enhancing drug, but not limited to human relations.

Or should we query, “Are these specters merely memes ?” Memes can be regarded as stories, ideas, and ways of seeing things that we copy from person to person by imitation, perhaps in part due to cultural suggestion. And may some of the visions be reflective of a mental state of depression and despair at the time of ingestion? Still another possibility, are they part of an innate religious impulse, or a craving, that is hardwired in our brain circuitry?

Trying to explain such phenomenon can be a bit esoteric in nature. For now they remain mysterious displays that hint at a wide range of wonders, connections, and possibilities.

Tentatively, I will offer one seemingly reasonable hypothesis. The lights suggest energy movement that is altered or accelerated by the medicine. Perhaps what they also reveal is part of an energetic reconfiguration of the whole person, shedding or casting off heavy energies ( hucha ) that did not promote mental or physical health in our former emotional state. The lights may signify activation of the chakras or even epigenetic shifts in our DNA. I don’t know for sure.

Working with MDMA is both a scientific endeavor and an art form. It is an interpretive dance of sorts. Even with our personal certainty harvested from seeing the symbols, and with the additional insights gleaned from brain scans, we may, nevertheless, fail to comprehend the big mysteries we are participating in. Questions will likely remain. Maybe we will have to reconcile ourselves to being content simply with feeling better.

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“The purpose of art is to lay bare the questions that have been hidden by the answers.”

- James Baldwin

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MDMA: Heart and Soul

Sun, 04 Sep 2022 00:01:25 GMT

Alvin Moore, a philosopher, wrote in the spiritual journal, Parabola , about Inner Man, the Man in every man. There is no he but He, Moore wrote.

He thought of the soul as being inseparably linked with the Divine, a relationship that is inescapable, even in a predicament called Hell. He wrote, “Whoever knows God becomes God.” (note use of caps)

Eliezer Shore, also in Parabola , said: “The path of the soul is not simple; it travels a torturous route in this world…moving from unity to dissolution before reaching the final destination, back to wholeness.” What he is implying is that the soul begins in unity before entering our middle world existence on Earth. Prior to entering this world, it exists in a state of attachment to the Divine Source. At the moment of birth as a human being, this first-time connection may be momentarily lost, and with it what Native Americans called the Original Instructions.

Our soul descended onto Earth from the stars, became broken and fragmented, splintered into a trillions of pieces (energized elements and eventual life forms) before settling across Earth. Like rain upon fields, the soul slowly seeped into all things animate or seemingly inanimate. These life-nurturing soul drops became incorporated with the objects of the planet and gave animation and vitality to our existence. So while we imagine the soul as existing somewhere in the body, it is likely exists anywhere, everywhere.

While Alvin Moore, among others, finds it difficult to define or locate the soul, the heart keeps coming to his mind. He submits that a soul is best conceptualized as a “subtle heart” or the “intelligence of the heart,” rather than a place or even a thing. It is like an intermediary, a go-between or mediator, of flesh and Spirit. And we are encouraged to listen to this intuitive middle brain because it is more than a repository of thoughts, facts, and information like its upper floor relative, the cranial brain. The heart brain holds profoundly personal and primordial knowledge that we are encouraged to trust because, as Moore asserts, it is felt to be “truer than science.” It constitutes a knowing of Source that is being revealed to us.

The soul and heart are accessed quite readily in MDMA sessions and in some other forms of deep meditation. We go inward to find and know the better angels of ourselves, what Moore calls the “permutations of the [core] elements.” Until now, too much has been documented about the fragmented left brain version of the outer man, much to the neglect of the inner right brain that connects us to the Whole.

The history of the world is the history of the soul. With it comes humanity’s search for meaning. It isn’t surprising to note how indigenous art -- from culture to culture and around the globe -- consistently displays figures of birds arising from the heads of humans as a symbol of transcendence from individual human form into something more boundless.

The Aztecs, like so many indigenous cultures, have pondered the concept of a soul. Three symbols of it have routinely arisen: the bird , the butterfly , and the flower which is linked to the sun. All three were regarded as part of Creator. Some MDMA patients see and ultimately fly with the birds. Some imagine themselves unfolding from one form into another before taking flight into a more expansive world. One person reported seeing his heart split open as flowers blossomed within it, pushing all else aside while recognizing the beauty residing within. At some level patients discover their innate Self while, at the same time, appreciating that their life journey is just now getting underway. Many realize, sooner or later, how they are not irrevocably stuck on the ground, trapped in a dark cocoon, nor anywhere near fully developed.

(As I write this a bird sits outside my window, repeatedly tapping on the glass with her beak. She sees her own reflection as if it is unclear who, even as a bird, she is. Perhaps she is asking, “Is there another version of me?”

Like the soul, Thomas Moore (priest turned psychotherapist) posits religion and spirituality can be regarded not so much as things, but as attitudes , a sensibility , or a conscience . Secularizing (vs. sacralizing) the soul reduces the human experience to human behaviors and the intriguing mystery of personhood to the limited idea of a “self.” We are so much bigger than what is compressed in our earthly skinsuits. At the same time, the sacred and the secular are bedfellows, diverse and sometimes contentious parts.

MDMA helps us get to the very deepest level of who we are. Us at the core. Currently our understanding of the mystery of Nature is unrealized. It remains limited by technology and contemporary therapeutic interpretations. Invisible sparks of the Divine may eventually be understood as the elusive parts of our own masked consciousness. Some people find MDMA helps them anchor their self in this bigger picture of the Vast Self.

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“When spiritual practice is grounded in the low, earthly religion of the soul’s ordinariness, then it can soar as high as it wants without loss of humanity.”

- Thomas Moore

“The wind is pushing the sky through you. The wind loves its body.”

- Jose, age 10

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Additional Reading: Care of the Soul and A Religion of Ones’ Own , both by Thomas Moore

MDMA: From Ego-System to Eco-System

Sat, 03 Sep 2022 23:43:24 GMT

Dr. Otto Sharmer, a professor at MIT, described a phenomenon he called “collective intelligence.”

When our own heart is coherent (in sync with the upper brain and lungs) and we join with a group of similarly coherent people, social coherence is the result. Going from a solitary being -- an ego-system -- to a multi-being makes for a smooth running eco-system, according to HeartMath Institute researchers, raising the vibratory rate of individuals and the group’s energetic field. This group field connects all the member heart’s electromagnetic energy.

The human heart generates the strongest magnetic field in the body, approximately 100 times greater than our cranial brain. And, with the help of a magnetometer, this radiating field can be detected up to ten feet away. So when two coherent people are physically close together, as in an MDMA treatment, we have a potential mechanism for feeling or sensing another person’s emotional state independent of verbal or body language. This can be referred to as heart resonance -- when we feel connected, understood, and lifted up by other persons, and is also called the social coherence multiplier effect . This is what the Himba tribe of Namibia have been telling people for hundreds of years; they picked up on this uniting bubble concept simply by chilling while hanging out together.

In the book, Heart Intelligence , written by HeartMath staff, they posit: “Incoherence is like static on a radio station we are listening to, whereas internal coherence better ‘tunes us in’ to the station and we get much clearer signal.” With the help of MDMA, “ground clutter” is quieted while incoming information and insights -- that were there all along – are recognized. And they are experienced as deep truths or knowings . With this channel open, clarity concerning relational matters occurs.

Obviously, if your MDMA therapist and attendant are in a coherent and contented spot in your presence, a potentiating effect can occur – a field of attunement quiets the ego long enough to let another station, or frequency, inform you. And it informs you of things already known, things that were onboard but previously difficult to access. Personal wisdom is being enhanced by the wisdom of the field of collective intelligence. Similar to a quantum physicist you can call this nonlocal intuition , or woo-woo, but it does seem to be a something.

Now, let’s consider the synchronicities so many people report following an MDMA treatment. More woo-woo?

Or, as Rollin McCraty, a psychophysiologist affiliated with HeartMath and Florida Atlantic University contends, people who have been practicing heart coherence techniques seem to have increased intuitiveness. They also report an increased number of social synchronicities. So what might occur if both healing strategies were merged?

As a living being, Mother Earth radiates electromagnetic energy – a steady “Schuman Resonance” as it’s called – and this gives sensory awareness and connection to its parts (all plants and animals, including us), both directly and indirectly. This is ancient Native American wisdom.

A Shoshone man of Wyoming once explained that the language of his people comes from Mother Earth. And medical anthropologist Joan Halifax (once studied entheogens with psychonaut Stanislov Groff) has written about a Ute Indian who said, “The voice of the land is our language.” Through this unspoken and unwritten language – perhaps the uniting field of electromagnetic energy “talking” to us – we develop a collective consciousness that strengthens us all. Halifax wrote: “This [companionship or community] is the ‘medicine’ that Native Americans refer to – the experience of relatedness that allows the mystery to flow between seemingly unrelated entities.” So we all can coherently move along with Mother Earth, keeping in rhythmic time with Her. The key – whether for patient, shaman, plain citizen, or everyone -- is to find balance flowing with Her current. A holy woman spoke thru a vision to an old medicine man, Wolf Collar.

She gave him this song:

When the wind blows,

that is my medicine.

When it rains,

that is my medicine.

When it hails,

that is my medicine.

When it clears after a storm,

that is my medicine.

Lastly, I’ll quote physician Rafael Kellman of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, who likened unhappiness to an unhealthy internal ecology – poor gut health affecting all three human brains. He wrote, “…the disease is rarely so simple as just ‘cutting out’ or ‘destroying’ the problem. A negative process has been set in motion, triggering many other side effects. A decline in wolves causes an overpopulation of deer, which causes a shortage of grass, and so on. The poisoning of the grass causes an underpopulation of deer, which causes the wolves to die, which poisons the fertilizer they provide, and so on. The problem in these examples is not a thing but a process. Instead of removing the disease , you have to reverse the process .”

Simply put, healthy diet and gut health can connect all three brains in a post-MDMA recovery process contributing to vastly improved mental health. Depression and anxiety are not free standing things, they are part of your body’s ecosystem, our enteric nervous system -- the intestines.

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Additional Reading:

Dharma Gaia: A Harvest of Essays in Buddhism and Ecology by Allan Hunt Badiner (ed)

Heart Intelligence: Connecting with the Intuitive Guidance of the Heart by Childre, Martin, Rozman, and McCraty

The Whole Brain: The Microbiome Solution by Raphael Kellman, M.D.

MDMA and the Default State of Compassion

Sat, 03 Sep 2022 23:18:31 GMT

“Compassion should be our default attitude toward relationship,” writes Christopher Andre’ in the book, In Search of Wisdom .

It is a starting point from which to make genuine choices as a genuine human being. The book argues that compassion is a fundamental human duty, even with people we don’t seem to think deserve it, primarily because they have hurt us.

MDMA offers us a gift, the spirit of compassion following betrayals, hurt, and suffering. The Buddha once asked, “If someone gives you a gift and you refuse it, who in the end is the owner of the gift?” The person trying to give it? The medicine itself? But in contrast, the Buddha went on, “Even your insults – I don’t accept them, thus they remain yours.” How then can we refuse the spirit of love, empathy, and concern after a fear reducing and heart opening MDMA experience that is presented at our feet?

Many MDMA-assisted psychotherapy patients are moved into a state of harmony arising from within their deepest inner selves. Feelings of compassion, kindness, and happiness develop out of a synchronization within themselves. Plato said, “The happiest man is he who has no trace of evil in his soul.” So when the gift of compassion comes our way, we must grab it and nourish it with our every decision in relationship to others, including our abusers, oppressors, and our opponents.

If we fight hate with hate, as Martin Luther King, Jr. posited, will the problem ever end? Then there was one of the Dalai Lama’s doctors, Dr. Tenzin Chodrak, who spent twenty-five years in Chinese forced labor camps. He had no sympathy for his torturers, but he succeeded in not giving in to hate. After torture sessions, he almost always, was able to regain his compassion. He argued in his mind that his torturers were mentally deranged as they had been subjected to brainwashing, and, therefore, they deserved his compassion more than his hate. That’s what saved him. Above all else, he feared losing his compassion, which is what gave meaning to his life.

What happens after a medicinal treatment may be similar to what Matthieu Ricard, a Buddhist monk, has said:

“We do not keep the sufferings in ourselves, but we add our love to them, we illuminate and soften them with our love, then we let them [and ourselves] move on.”

We are no longer attached to our suffering or addicted to previous pain and resentment.

As one graduate of the medicine, a thirty-nine year old woman said, “One thing is certain: I’d like to be able to access these feelings of compassion and deep caring in a selfless manner at other times. So I am working on remembering this feeling and staying connected with it.”

The late Ralph Metzner, a pioneering psychologist in the MDMA field wrote, “Under favorable circumstances and with a supportive set and setting [sacramental], people feel that the MDMA experience elicits true compassion, forgiveness, and understanding for those with whom they have important relationships; and most importantly, for themselves, for their ordinary, neurotic, childish, struggling persona or ego.”

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“When our focus is on others, on our wish to free them from their misery – this is compassion. However, only once we have acknowledged our own state of suffering and developed the wish to free ourselves from it can we have a truly meaningful wish to free others from their misery.”

- His Holiness, The Dalai Lama

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Additional Reading: An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life by the Dalai Lama

MDMA and the Soul's Discovery

Sat, 03 Sep 2022 22:57:26 GMT

Ask most anyone to define soul and you will understand another word, enigma. Often attempts to describe this mysterious force have a sacred or mystical feel to them.

Just as often there is an attempt to locate this thing or spirit inside the human body. Already I have suggested soul may be like a force, a physical thing, but also as a numinous spirit. Starters.

I have read theological books that say that this force-like something serves as an inner guidance system, an aspect of the self. But to perform such a function what is it hooked up to? Energy? If so, from where, and how do we get it? And are we something much greater than a meager human self?

Philosophers have likened the soul to a seed, and encapsulated in the seed is the plant’s entire life. That life is connected to life on a far grander scale. So, perhaps it can be said that all life forms have a soul, their own higher power that connects it to all else in the universe. In this way, all living things have a consciousness ready to unfold and expand. A seed may have to be planted, fertilized, and watered before it can enter into a new, altered state and become all it was intended to be.

It seems as though this energetic connection to all other life forms, may make our soul one part of a far bigger soul of which we are like a tiny cell – doing our small, yet vital, part to keep the Whole operative.

The entire universe surrounding us is filled with electrical energy. It can explode into stars or reach down to Earth in a powerful lightning strike. It can heat our planet and carry invisible messages on radio waves. If, however, this energy is so big and explosive, why doesn’t it “blow a circuit” in our brain. Well, that may be where the soul helps out.

It is hypothesized that the soul inherently serves humans like a transducer or a reducing valve , sort of like how high voltage power lines aren’t allowed to surge all their energy into our homes without a big explosion occurring. Similarly, all that universal voltage can’t be allowed into our brain at full force lest our heads explode. The ultimate spiritual power of life can’t surge directly into us without doing some harm. So the soul – an extension of the bigger grid system – must “step down” the flow of energy and life. Too much equals death. Titrated to just the right level, it promotes human life. This is the soul’s function.

A bolt of lightning gets stepped down to miniscule electrical firings (microvolts) moving across neuronal networks that allow us to think; that is called consciousness. Our body (upper, middle, and lower brains) collectively have the meager equivalent of a sixty-watt lightbulb which is subdivided into 100 billion neurons, making each brain cell’s portion infinitesimal. And infinitesimal is good, it makes us smart. Similar to the energy behind gravity, if it were not stepped down significantly on Earth, we could be slammed down very hard on our mother.

In Sanskrit this inner guidance system that extends into the heavens is called Upaguru , meaning the teacher who is near – in fact, runs through us. The implication is that consciousness, or awareness if you prefer, is not limited to the brain or body but is an external force that guides all life.

Asking a question “in here” may not allow for answers about “out there.” A prerequisite might be an altered state when the brain gets quieted down a bit so that subtle energy can enter and inform us. All that said, it may be that the brain, when the ego is in total command, is an obstacle to knowing the soul.

So when I meet my “soul mate” I am said to “fall in love.” When thoughts of love are pondered, brain imaging devices pick up on areas of the cortex and limbic system that literally light up. So does this mean love is a burst of electricity and chemicals? If we refuse to accept that the brain creates a love response in our skulls out of an electrochemical soup with origins in the stars, where is the evidence that it comes from somewhere else?

Now try this idea on for size. If the soul is an aspect of something bigger than self, could we be a stepped down version of God? Further, if life is immeasurable by human standards, stratagems, and manmade devices, and we are part of that seemingly eternal and much bigger guiding life force, notions of self ought to transcend small human conceptualizations of birth and death. We are a big deal, but not in the ways we have conceptualized ourselves in recent millennium.

Our soul, our inner guide, is always with us. The connecting link is the electrical mind. That should offer us some comfort. The soul is our higher power and we don’t have to search far for it. An enlarged consciousness – of the kind experienced with MDMA – might introduce us to ourselves, the source from the Source of everything.

There is a shield that can keep us from this discovery. Often it is fear. Fear creates spiritual constipation. Fear closes us off to electrical signals of the over-arching universe. However, some plants and manmade medicines can minimize such interference and open us up to the Greater Frequency.

Deepak Chopra has a knack for reducing ideas to understandable nuggets. In Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul , he offers a simple formulation, what he calls the basic flow chart of life. Here it is:

Soul carries the potential

Mind carries the intention

Brain produces the result

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Thoughts can change our brain wiring. Certain ritualized ceremonies that promote altered states can allow the formulation of new thoughts, new intentions, potential, insights, and a new way of being. And empathogens and entheogens have the capacity to remove the brain’s reducing valve, at least for a time, to allow resonance with other frequencies.

Zen Buddhists contend that every inquiry already contains its own answer. Soul holds the questions and answers in the giant world wide web of consciousness. We all can create an answer for any question we create.

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Getting to know resistance, getting to know your patient

Sat, 03 Sep 2022 18:03:05 GMT

There's no such thing as a resistant patient

This article has two intentions:

to define the clinical term resistance and
to determine when it is healthy and when it is unhealthy.

Resistance: A subtle, overt, or even aggressive display of opposition to how they are being treated. It must be understood that resistance can be a normal and often protective human behavior that occurs with almost every person who desires, or is pushed into making, changes in their behavior or lifestyle.

For control driven therapists – prison workers, parole officers, child protection workers, assistant principals, and overscheduled therapists, as a few examples – any noncompliance to institutionalized rules may be classified as defiance. Professionals who may not be very self-aware often, and sometimes out of their own needs to be efficient and in the driver’s seat, hastily personalize the patient’s response and see it in simple terms, as little more than defiance. This can bring on punitive consequences and encourage still further resistance on both sides.

It is too simple to categorize resistance as a pathological feature or even as inherently problematic. It can be a very helpful window to understanding people, a way to find out what threatens a seemingly threatening patient. It is an opening to human understanding if first approached with curiosity and respect rather than harsh judgments or a desire to shut it down.

Often this assertion of honor over one’s life is born of a sense of powerlessness, which is compensated for with displays of power, control, or resistance. Looking in on the “fish bowl” of therapy, both parties can be equally afflicted and oblivious to the unfolding process. They can get swept up in an emotional battle.

Shaming and blaming are common precipitating factors. Being insensitively or judgmentally exposed for their mistakes, a patient will naturally resist anyone – often someone that is reminiscent of an emotionally abusive parent or partner – who rubs their nose in their missteps, particularly when it is done in a public setting.

Resistance shows up when there is a control imbalance. If a domestic abuser constantly attempts to control his wife, expect her to resist a police officer who tells her to just “leave the bum,” as if it is that simple.

Jeffrey Kottler, a brilliant and self-aware psychotherapist wrote in Compassionate Therapy, “…when clients are difficult it is because they are trying desperately to maintain homeostasis in their lives.” So, talk about it.

From my experience, minorities -- especially Native Americans and African Americans -- particularly after intergenerational and institutionalized discrimination and persecution, could easily be diagnosed as pathological if they did not resist authority figures who refuse to get to know them and the full context of their life experiences. When we see signs of learned helplessness and masochism, people are often branded as being submissive, overly compliant, or servile.

The dominant majority society often places resistant persons in a “drama of evil,” a simplistic world of good guys and bad guys that demonizes them. This alienating form of moralization is a lazy person’s way of avoiding the responsibility of getting to know their client.

In the book Engaging Resistance, Flinton and Scholz said of their work with sexual abusers, “Our contention is that many obstacles that impeded successful treatment, which were once seen as the ‘offender’s problem,’ can be overcome by changing the change agents.” It starts with the helpers truly being helpers. They went on: “Redefining resistance begins with redefining our goals as change agents. If our daily interactions with clients pathologize them, find shortcomings, and create ostracism, we’ll probably achieve these results and end up with individuals who may be worse off than when we met them.” At that point, helpers tend to rebrand the client as "resistant" and that simply deepens client resolve not to cooperate with persons they believe don’t have their best interests at heart.

If we explore the passionate reasons that can fuel noncompliance or even obstructionism, not take client reactions so personally, and if we spend less time feeding the resistance by our reactionary (vs. responsive) demeanor, we can team up and move people along the path of change.

In The Difficult Connection , Geral Blanchard provocatively contends: “There is no such thing as a resistant patient, only therapists who don’t know how to connect.” He suggests resistance can be an aid to understanding; the therapist’s job is to translate the unwanted behavior into words that can be expressed in a safe environment. He recommends exploring resistance for the following factors:

As a response arising from fear, feeling unsafe around the helping professional. Can they even safely acknowledge feeling unsafe, given the community or family they came from? Must they appear tough?
It may be a signal that the change agent is moving way too fast. Ask.
It shows up when the helper has failed to acknowledge the patient’s positive attributes, like assertiveness, self-care, or self-compassion. Administer an online positive psychology assessment such as “VIA Character Strengths Inventory." Then discuss it, and draw upon those strengths.
It often arises from being misunderstood, so take time for radical listening and clarification.
It may be a natural reaction to being labeled as mentally ill, as an unfit parent, or as a criminal.
It can spring from distrust of the helper’s poorly communicated motives or goals. Build trust. Find common ground. Then solve problems.
It can arise when there are financial consequences like lost wages for attending meetings or hearings, or in response to high counseling fees.
Resistance can arise from being defined by the client’s last, or worst behavior, as if that is all they are about.
The client may not feel accepted as an equal in the change process, in therapy, or in the legal system. Collaboration can be invited again and again to overcome resistance.
It can arise in response to the helper’s inflexibility or judgmentalness.
Resistance is a common reaction to helpers who use coercion, bullying, or threats that are intended to elicit change. Lay down the sword.
Resisting may be the only way the client can nonverbally say “Go to hell” to someone they believe is dissing them or taking control over their life. Share this handout with them and be open to discussing it.
Sometimes cooperation is diminished when the helper is boring, cold, demanding, impersonal, or approaches the client in a mechanical one-size-fits-all way.

Reuben Fine, a psychoanalyst, once offered this insight, “Just as the rigid authoritarian parent virtually creates a rebellious attitude in the child, the technique-dominated analyst creates a great deal of resentment in the patient.”

Jeffrey Kottler again: “Every client has a unique way of communicating and cooperating in therapy; it is our job to discover what that way is and make the best use of it.”

Finally, if helpers are afraid of anger and conflict, they may be unable to connect with their clients. Angry people are secretly fearful people – fearful of being embarrassed, put-down, criticized, or losing control. Their rage can be seen as a maladaptive effort to return a semblance of control or homeostasis to a life that has been spinning out of control. A client’s angry resistance and a helper’s countertransference can best be understood as the desperate attempt of cornered individuals to assuage feelings of fearfulness and powerlessness. Healthy empowerment is the answer.

MDMA, Storytelling, and Hallucinations

Sat, 03 Sep 2022 17:59:06 GMT

First, it’s important to clarify that MDMA, unlike LSD, Psilocybin, and ayahuasca does not produce hallucinations. Hallucinations include hearing, feeling, or smelling something that doesn’t exist in actuality and, based on that, we often draw conclusions that guide our lives with varying results.

While images and symbols, much like in our dreams, may arise under the subtle influence of MDMA, they are not characterized by a break from reality. In fact the reality of our relationships becomes enhanced or enlarged to such an extent that we finally “get it.”

Secondly, it might be helpful to understand the impact of MDMA as causing the re-writing of a story we have been incessantly telling ourselves, particularly about ourselves. Positive psychologist, Jonathan Haidt, points out that the brain is not so much a logic or reality processor as it is a story processor. It latches onto a glorious or gloomy story we have long told ourselves and keeps retelling it to such an extent that personal growth is stymied. We seek information that matches our story or that opposing data is deemed to be incorrect; this is called confirmation bias .

We are the only storytelling animals in existence. We are addicted to stories. Even when the body goes to sleep, the brain still generates narratives in our dreams. This requires a large brain but, unfortunately, with it in tow we often turn on ourselves. Researchers cumbersomely define dreams as intense sensorimotor hallucinations with a narrative structure. Often our brains know things we don’t know in the daytime world of the mind, and storytelling with added hints of deep abiding truths can be released in the night. It may be a form of autotherapy that helps challenge or correct daytime delusions, and a time when we can practice “fight or flight” dilemmas.

Nobel laureate Francis Crick proposed how dreams may help us weed out useless and inaccurate information from our mind (remember the mind is not the brain). Crick likened dreams to a disposal system saying, “We dream to forget.” Similarly, I further contend dreams can help us remember many unpleasant things we have suppressed during the daytime hours.

The left brain is the classic “know it all;” when it can’t come up with a factual answer to a question, it simply can’t bear to admit it. As Jonathan Gottschall explains in The Storytelling Animal , “The left brain is a relentless explainer, and it would rather fabricate a story than leave something unexplained.” It can’t sit with mystery or ambivalence very easily. Gottschall goes on: “The storytelling mind is allergic to uncertainty, randomness, and coincidence. It is addicted to [discovering] meaning. If the storytelling mind cannot find meaningful patterns in the world, it will try to impose them. In short, the storytelling mind is a factory that churns out true stories when it can, but will manufacture lies when it can’t.”

Mythologist Joseph Campbell has said, “the only way you can describe a human being truly is by describing his imperfections.” And when we hear another person telling a story of their imperfections, we move a little bit closer to doing the same ourselves. It moves us closer to reality.

We are braver when we go where others have gone before us, on the path only infrequently traveled, the path of vulnerability. In The Science of Storytelling , Will Storr wrote: “Locked inside the black vault of our skulls, stuck forever in the solitude of our hallucinated universe, [stories are] the closest we’ll ever come to escape.”

We make up a lot to cope with modernity. Fabrications are like suction, they pull us in. And fiction, like cocaine, can become our drug. Yet, often fiction teaches us a lot about the world because, as with MDMA, with its influence we are more inclined to let our guard down.

Conspiracy theories are today’s version of unchallenged “hallucinations.” They are not limited to lunatics or idiots. They arise like a reflex when life’s meaning isn’t immediately clear. Conspiratorial thinking is the lazy storytelling mind’s compulsive need to explain things, fit them into an understandable (albeit totally incorrect) category, and bring a feeling of clarity to a world of mayhem. Religions – a unified systems of beliefs and creeds -- can often serve a similar purpose by offering shared meaning. When the beliefs are not based in fact we are disinclined to give them up, even when they have been debunked again and again. It is if we move from individual “hallucinations” to a societal “hallucinations” – and when everyone is doing it seems right and we are likely to miss it.

A life story is largely a personal myth. It is not an objective account. The inauthenticity often gets in the way of intimacy. But this myth, much like our dreams, can help reveal who we are deep down. And many of us fear that deep down we are really shallow . A life story I tell about myself is only loosely based on a true story. For the most part, I am an unreliable narrator, a figment of my own yearning imagination.

Psychologist, Michelle Crossley, tells us that depression often arises from an “incoherent story,” an “inadequate narrative account of oneself,” or “a life story gone awry.”

Time and again, however, persons during MDMA treatments self-correct. They adjust life stories that have outlived their usefulness – narratives previously containing embellishment, blame, shame, and judgment – to better approach reality. And with truth in the mix, clarity and healing, especially from confounding traumas, stand a better chance of reaching fruition.

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“Stories are working on us all the time, reshaping us in the way that flowing water gradually reshapes a rock.”

- Jonathan Gottshall in The Storytelling Animal

“Memory is an unreliable and self-serving historian.”

- psychologists, Carol Tavris and Eliot Aronson

“The future looks bleak for reality.”

- an online gamer

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MDMA and Your Primary Relationship

Fri, 02 Sep 2022 22:34:38 GMT

Repeatedly I have been asked if only one partner in a relationship explores the medicine will there be a significant risk that the two might become distant from each other.

Is it likely that one person will start to grow out of the partnership? While the prospects are quite broad and not perfectly clear, there are some familiar reactions. I will address some of them.

Occasionally, a partner will misconstrue ecstasy or Molly for 100 percent MDMA. With the public’s limited education on empathogens, and with the attention given to feverish raves, many uninformed people think the medicine escalates the sex drive. With that concern, the nonparticipating partner can fear his/her partner will no longer be satisfied with their sexuality and look for someone else. Quite simply, it doesn’t work that way. Empathy and compassion may increase, but this is not a libido escalating drug. Clinical grade MDMA is more like a love drug than a sex drug.

Another fear is that the relationship will end because only one partner is doing the work, at least for now. Yet, many times with the release of oxytocin (the “cuddle hormone”) and prolactin -- bonding and intimacy enhancing chemicals -- the attachment may actually get strengthened. What is likely to happen is that communication will be enhanced by the medicine, defenses will drop, and difficult subjects can be more easily surmounted. As was said in Through the Gateway of the Heart , the author wrote: “It [MDMA] facilitates the heart-felt, empathic, verbal, and postural expressions of emotional intimacy, without the slightest hint of sexual arousal or interest.”

But maybe my partner who has taken the medicine will become more confrontational because of my mistakes and that will further undermine our relationship? Again, from the aforementioned text there is this: “On the basis of studies, MDMA deactivates the amygdala (the seat of fear-rage emotional reactivity) and reciprocally activates prefrontal brain circuits (which underlie calm thinking).”

One person said this. “When someone fucks up, I now find that kind of endearing. I need to remember to apply that to myself. It’s so touching to see how all our egos experience similar struggles – your pain is my pain. We aren’t that different, even in the way we erect defenses. Because we are all fundamentally the same, this healing process is how we get to know each other better.”

Often the nonparticipating partner will shy away from a treatment thinking pure, clinical grade MDMA is addictive. It is not! If anything, it helps to quell addictive behavior. Three administrations of the medicine typically concludes treatment.

A female patient said this: “I have usually feared that abandonment was about to happen with the man I love, that he will find someone with whom he would rather be with than me, I have long experienced this pain and fear, like when he doesn’t call when he said he would, or when I don’t know where he is. I fear, like I did with my father, that I will never see him again. I now know that we have a special connection that will never be broken, even after we die.”

Another person discovered this: “I felt that my most compassionate aspect was in full control. I was able to see my partner’s actions from a totally neutral place, with an understanding feeling for them, even when the actions caused me pain. The sacrament [drug] seemed to bring out my gentlest nature and suppressed the more judgmental, critical aspects of my personality.”

Another person commented, “I felt my most compassionate aspects were now in full control. I was able to see and understand other people’s actions from a more detached place, with somewhat sympathetic feelings toward them even if they had hurt me.”

Very commonly, MDMA is regarded as a “truth detector.” Sometimes long denied emotional truths arise, intrapersonal and interpersonal, both the positive and the negative. But such facts are typically handled in a much more civil manner than previously characterized the couple’s past communication style.

While the medicine can create a spirit of forgiveness (for self and others), it doesn’t make people naïve. Self-examination and relationship examination is assured. If there was a trauma bond, it is unlikely to be sustained post-treatment. When the relationship has long been shown to be harmful to one or both partners, the medicinal patient may, with clear thinking and discernment, decide to pull back and no longer accept mistreatment, departing the relationship in a civil fashion.

Untreated partners who are unfamiliar with the medicine will, very understandably, be concerned about negative effects on the relationship. By and large, the fears are generally unwarranted.

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MDMA and the Hero's Journey

Fri, 02 Sep 2022 22:11:24 GMT

One of my heroes, Joseph Campbell, offered a motif of the archetypal hero’s journey that has survived many decades largely because it is based on humankind’s universal healing struggles.

As a person sets out on their own sojourn following traumatic circumstances, it may prove fruitful to examine the footsteps of predecessors and the wisdom of literary storytellers.

First, Campbell’s ideas. He offered a multi-step scenario of how it unfolds (that I am greatly condensing):

1) Spend some time in this confusing ordinary world.

2) When enough pain arises, a spark sets us on a scary path of adventure – departure into the scary world of uncertainty.

3) A powerful initiation occurs when trials, obstacles, foes, and then friends are encountered, battled, overcome, and eventually embraced.

4) A return to “civilization” occurs with wisdom to be shared with those who will be similarly challenged.

Story theorist, Christopher Brooker, contends there are five recurring plots to a heroic story:

1) A dream stage in an unexamined life when everything seems to be going well.

2) A frustration stage when fortunes suddenly turn.

3) A call to action following an encounter with a “monster” or “dark power,” imagined or real.

4) A descent into nightmarish conflict.

5) A resolution that comes with greater balance in life and a person becomes whole.

Will Storr, in The Science of Storytelling , offers a standard five act structure that is much like a three-minute pop song theme:

Act I: This is me, and it’s not working.

The protagonist’s old ideas of control are contested. Unexpected change occurs. An ignition point is reached when things explode and the individual is thrust into a new psychological reality.

Act II: Is there another way of being?

The old theory of determined control is questioned and it begins to break down. There are rising moments of fear and excitement that bounce the individual around.

Act III: I am transforming.

Grim tension grips the protagonist and new ways forward are cognitively learned. The individual starts to change in powerful and seemingly irreversible ways. There will be no going back, although that realization is not fully known, yet.

Act IV: Can I handle the pain of change?

Chaos spirals for a seemingly endless time. The protagonist reaches the lowest and darkest time of life. The hero of the story questions his/her ability to change – “Can I do this?” The plot won’t leave them alone, pressure persists. They realize that soon a big decision will have to be made – who are they going to be?

Act V: Who am I going to be hereafter?

A peak moment occurs when the protagonist fights for control of the plot, rather than passively remaining in its grip. Chaos subsides. They’re going to be someone new, someone different, maybe the person they were always meant to be despite impediments encountered along the way.

A gripping plot always has a nagging and persistent question at its core. It gradually erodes the protagonist’s model of who they are and how the world works. Then, with insights afforded by their painful struggle, they rebuild.

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When change eventually arrives it is because new information has preceded it. This is “Big Data” (Source/God/Cosmic Consciousness) speaking to them. And as is the case with all good stories and movies, what rests at the healing core are always human closeness and human connection , which prove to be more valuable than all the riches of the world. It is what hyper-social animals need – from wolves, to horses, to people.

If they are going to “crack up” or “crack open” is determined by the willingness of the protagonist to bravely throw themselves into the drama, to wrestle with dragons. It’s the only way we grow in big ways. In this way lasting courage is forged.

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MDMA and the Indigenous Default State

Fri, 02 Sep 2022 21:54:04 GMT

From earlier articles you may recall how the default state network is the “go to” place our mind automatically wanders into, especially when we are relaxed and not distracted by a lot of noise and activity.

Out of discomfort we often avoid quiet reflection times when we are likely to revert to a default state of fear, inadequacy, or shame – often the emotional residue of unprocessed trauma.

What I’ve learned from the African Bushmen, particularly during their trance-inducing and healing Giraffe Dance, is that their reentry into spirit world is a natural default state of consciousness from which other everyday social activities develop meaning. This default state is something sought out, not avoided. The state reflects the underlying deep reality of the universe, beyond what is right in front of them, and they seek to connect with it on at least a weekly basis.

Of additional interest is that they don’t look to psychedelics to take them there; the ability to be transported to another level of consciousness is wired in, innate to all human existence, something they have never forgotten living barefoot in Nature. In the West we may have allowed that ancient faculty to slumber and atrophy over hundreds of years physically and spiritually detached from Mother Earth.

Carl Johan Calleman wrote in Quantum Science of Psychedelics : “Perhaps the prolonged stomping on the ground that Bushmen and other indigenous people engage in during their ceremonial dances is another way of asking for the compartmentalized global mind to yield so that a channel can open up to the otherworld…the prolonged drumming and dancing in shamanic ceremonies may be part of what induces such a shift and may even be a prerequisite for an opening to take place. If this is true, shamanism is also a form of quantum healing.”

When we became so ensconced by indoor living and our addictive technology that often is asked to think for us, modern culture has looked for quick and easy ways to explore other realities, mostly for recreational purposes. The answer for many has been pills, even a psychological reliance on them to break the long standing guiding patterns produced by our egos – the habits of an overly active and pesky left brain. As sometimes happens with MDMA (not a psychedelic) patients, the Bushmen, without any drugs, can enter and explore other worldly realms (not otherworldly as in hallucinations) with highly routinized activity (rituals) and, importantly, in the company of other community members while healing. Sometimes MDMA patients and Bushmen are reunited with Elders (who have passed over) during these ceremonial times and find the experiences to be very reassuring and healing.

Most all the Bushmen, female and male, can develop altered state healing abilities that are readily tapped during their sacred cultural activities. Anyone can be a shaman in their culture; it is regarded as a natural human condition.

In essence, what they are doing is volitionally deactivating their everyday ego guided consciousness, disengaging from that singular way of knowing reality, thereby enhancing the brain’s connectivity with higher frequencies beyond the veil. They call this transporting energy num .

Beyond that, many indigenous people, and even a few Western patients who have used entheogens and empathogens, report still another form of connectivity – this time with spirit forms beyond humans. Calleman again, “[Commonly, there are] reports by people using psychedelics of meeting well-known animals such as serpents, jaguars, owls, or horses.” They can arrive on scene during challenging times and lend support to us. In addition to the “family of man” – both alive and “deceased,” encompassing the ancient ancestors we physically separated from long ago – there is also the “family of animals,” what Lakota Indians refer to as mitakuyae oyasin , meaning “all my relatives.” So, of course, indigenous wisdom suggests we heal in Nature close to our fellow critters. They become, as Luther Standing Bear said, “medicine that walks.”

So when a trauma victim wants to avoid people because of harm endured at their hands, it is somewhat paradoxical, but no longer uncommon, to chance upon a form of relational healing in a ceremonial setting using MDMA. The result is often stronger relationships than before yet with greater discernment of who they want to be connected to. And better results seem to occur if MDMA is administered in Nature close to Her medicine.

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MDMA - Being Enough

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 02:32:26 GMT

Each of my handouts is intended to be an adjunct to the therapy part of psychotherapy-assisted MDMA treatment. While I haven’t run out of ideas in an attempt to keep everyone’s growth progressing, this edition will draw entirely from the poignant and applicable words of Penache Desai.

He has written two beautiful books: Discovering Your Soul Signature and You Are Enough. Both are about what Desai refers to as “the search for inner integrity.” This handout will quote entirely from the latter book:

“With each second in the day, you are given 86,400 chances to choose differently than you have in the past. You are also given 28,800 breaths to act, think, and move from a positon of love. There is only ever one choice. Either you are living from your heart and moving toward your limitless potential, or you are continuing to live in fear and limitation.”

“When I entered this world and doctor gave me that first slap, I already had an appointed purpose to fulfill [like ‘destiny’ as revealed in a Mayan prophecy], as we all do. As long as I resisted by design, as long as I tried to turn myself into something that I thought would be admired or loved by others, I could not fulfill it. It wasn’t until I reached the depths of internal despair that I got in touch with the true reality that exists in and around us in every moment. In that surrender, I found the purpose, goodness, and connection that was my destiny.”

“Samadhi is the sacred remembrance of your Essential Self, which is one with Creator. It is knowing who you are, fully and authentically. It is an illumination, a recognition, a union. It is what we crave at the deepest level of our being. The desire for this union is that ceaseless internal hunger that keeps us searching externally for what paradoxically can only be found internally . Samadhi is a fundamental realignment of energy that raises the frequency in which you reside.”

“Humanity is in the process of remembering; a collective awakening is being birthed in this world. And everything that is happening, politically, socially, environmentally – including the chaos – is there so that individuals can recall and more fully realize their Essential Selves. The more you try to replicate someone else’s spiritual practice or journey, the further you find yourself from the power, beauty, and authenticity of who you truly are. There is a cosmic purpose for each aspect, which is that you, in your finite physical body, come to know your unbounded Divine Nature. My intention is to awaken you to the experience of the Divine Consciousness that resides within you. The depth of your being is so vast. It is unfathomably powerful, and you are constant revealing it.”

“Once you know yourself as the light, you will find that inner peace dominates every situation. It’s not that you will never feel fear, anxiety, or anger, but you will no longer get lost in your pain. It will no longer drown out the light. You will clearly recognize it for what it is – a temporary cloud passing in the sky. Then you can empower yourself to accelerate your evolution.”

“There are [traumatic] moments in each of our lives when something greater – something incontrovertible – steps in to help us realign with our truest lives and innate selves. This perceived crisis or trauma either shakes our world to its core or tears everything apart so that we are launched once again in the direction of our best lives, the most authentic expression of who we are each her to be.”

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Enjoy your launch!

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MDMA and the World of Allies

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 02:16:20 GMT

The storyteller and author, Carlos Castaneda wrote several books about his Yaqui Indian teacher in Mexico, don Juan.

Today, there is great skepticism about whether or not his older teacher, a shaman, really existed. Was he a brilliant old man, or if everything was made up by Castaneda, was he the brilliant man? It may not matter. The knowledge shared, no matter where it came from, is enlightening.

Don Juan presumably taught Carlos that “Mescalito” – peyote – was a benevolent teacher and protector of man. It was ingested at gatherings of “mitotes” (shamans and sorcerers) who were seeking knowledge of the right way to live. Jimson weed and mushrooms had somewhat similar powers and were referred to as “allies.” The power contained in a chewed mushroom, for instance, was considered a personal ally.

Carlos asked don Juan, “Why did you ask me to take those power plants so many times?” Don Juan laughed and softly replied, “’Cause you’re dumb. There was no other way to jolt you. There are other types of people who do not seem to need them.”

The suggestion was that Carlos needed to turn off his narrow mind for a while so that he would stop talking to himself so much from his presumed spot of human wisdom. It turns out, humans often confuse the world with what they think. In contrast, don Juan believed the world to be incomprehensible, a mystery, and in that way it was smarter than us.

So, don Juan urged Carlos to step out of his ignorant looping consciousness and let a plant teach him; the plant becoming an ally. Carlos said the insight given to him was, “…a warrior treats the world as an endless mystery and what people do [to diminish their fears] as an endless folly.” Certain mind altering plants share their unique form of consciousness with humans and other animals, allowing them to see and as a result, they come to be known as our allies.

A guiding plant or a guardian animal can be elevated to astounding importance given the insights it seems to provide. But does it really do that? Or could it be that the plant allows our brain to break out of its small prison and see the larger world much more clearly.

This may be what MDMA and psilocybin do. They introduce people to an undiscovered intellectual potential. In the end, if we note how untapped powers actually slumber inside us, the obvious conclusion is that we are our own allies.

Said another way, it may not be necessary to look outside ourselves, at least not for long, to become acquainted with who we are and the wisdom we have, albeit buried. So, we go out, toy with old and new ideas, and come home with an ally – ourselves. We are back where we started from. Unfortunately, in a magical, superstitious, and fanciful time in human history, humans want to believe in powers that lay beyond us. Some do. Many do not.

Don Juan spoke of will as a force. When we develop our will and learn how to see in the way don Juan spoke of, we discover what was referred to as a sixth sense. This sense allows an honest relationship between ourselves and what was once the perceived world formed from our limited intellect. When a medicine has a person momentarily under its influence two things become clear: 1) It is ludicrous to think the whole world is composed of things that can be explained and 2) only a few things in this world can be explained in our old way. Much is beyond human understanding, but some additional insights await us.

Perhaps the most important lesson Castaneda shared was that once the medicine provided him with a sacred appreciation for the Great Mystery, his task, like ours, was/is to continue developing our own inherent clear-headed understanding of things. This can be done without more and more medicines. We have become our own medicine.

Plant induced non-ordinary reality, Castaneda came to discover, is the underlying reality. Until he met don Juan he wasn’t awake to the truth of that. Every person’s task is to become a spiritual warrior who develops their minds “impeccably,” and in so doing, rejoins their rightful place in the animal world.

Don Juan concluded: “Someday perhaps you’ll be able to see men in another mode and then you‘ll realize there’s no way to change anything about them.” You are left to change yourself, much like AA’s Serenity Prayer advises.

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“Upon learning to see a man becomes everything by becoming nothing. He vanishes and yet he’s there. I would say this is a time when a man can be or can get anything he desires. But he desires little, and instead of playing with his fellow men like they were toys, he meets them in the midst of their folly. A man who sees controls his folly, while his fellow men can’t. Seeing has already detached him from absolutely everything he knew before.”

- Carlos Castaneda in A Separate Reality

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MDMA and Shadow Work

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 01:31:47 GMT

Patients who request psychotherapy assisted MDMA treatments are propelled into this type of healing work when other methods of trauma recovery were only partially successful.

In part, the guilt from being stigmatized by abuse naturally prompts victims to shine a spotlight of exposure onto those persons who have caused the interpersonal harm.

Intrapersonal examination is a necessary prelude to resolving traumas that others have inflicted on us. Unfortunately, conventional forms of trauma therapy customarily begin with interpersonal exploration, focusing attention on the dark and hurtful forces of the world residing outside of us. If a person isn’t careful, they can almost gleefully delight in condemning and punishing others, pointing out another person’s flaws and, thereby, never spotting their own dark side, the shadow as Jung called it. In this way a victim can trip themselves up on the path to recovery.

Therapists are often too eager to align themselves with their victimized patient’s agenda staying stuck in the necessary, but time limited need, to work on proper attribution of responsibility. In the quest for deserved justice, and to relieve some patient guilt, this frequently enjoins healers in a somewhat satisfying “bashing ceremony” when all evil impulses are vociferously projected almost exclusively onto the “other.” Along with this initially well-intended collusion, therapists may also tiptoe around shifting the spotlight back on the victim’s own shadow side, feeling like by doing so they might be disrespectful or disloyal.

In the traditional indigenous world, some people have used the terms windigo and wetigo . A modern conceptualization of wetigo refers to a mind virus that serendipitously spreads from a culture’s collective unconscious into an individual’s mind. It is this clandestine mental virus that causes a person to disavow and thereby never know themselves completely.

Having a perpetrator in one’s world has to be addressed, but at some later point the opportunity to know the dark parts of ourselves is what will propel the greatest growth. Staying stuck in wetigo -- with the spirit of righteous resentment and a desire to punish -- inadvertently feeds one’s own dark side. When that happens we become a threat to ourselves, we can become possessed by this concealed virus.

Psychologically, the shadow can be regarded as the undesirable, inferior, and unexamined aspects of one’s personality – the parts of us that can cause harm to others. These repressed and unappealing facets can fuel unhealthy behaviors, unless or until we come to recognize and own them.

Being victimized can focus the conscious spotlight on external factors, the not-self, the bad guys, and unresponsive systems. While they merit attention and justice may have to be applied, an exclusive outward scrutiny – including projection – can further distance us from ourselves. When that happens, and the more a victim identifies with a sanctimonious bright persona, the more destructive their own shadow becomes; they unwittingly feed it. The longer a person stays trapped in a victim identity, the more arduous it becomes to grow.

Therefore, it’s important following abuse, that wounded persons do not re-victimize themselves by getting lost in a victim identity. The original traumatic experience, if addressed in a comprehensive fashion, can bring victims back home again, full circle, when they have the privilege to meet their complete self, warts and all.

Guilt keeps many people from waking up from their reactionary stance to trauma and moving into self-reflection. In a binary worldview of “good guys” and “bad guys,” a searching and fearless self-examination doesn’t clamor for attention. Positioning all evil outside of ourselves is the sign of an unhelpful entity working within – wetigo. And pesky unconscious feelings of guilt are not only a major cause of our shadow’s habit of projection – assigning our own worst attributes onto others so that we don’t have to look at ourselves – too often, however, victims can become far too eager to assign their abuser’s worst traits onto themselves. He becomes me.

The abuser can awaken a victim’s fears of their own darkness which serves to postpone honest personal reflection, and with it, healing. It’s like a form of self-flagellation or expiation develops. And this usually occurs with insufficient evidence. In an uncanny way, victimization can cause a person to lose track of themselves should they become obsessed with abusers. The process can stunt personal development.

If we don’t look at our shadow and our guilt (for things done or simply fantasized) we may always walk around in a frightened “deer in the headlights” trance and, just below conscious awareness, we may find ourselves replaying a tape -- a monologue of our fears of being found out and exposed as the fraud or imposter we subconsciously believe we are.

So, trauma can be inflicted by others and it can be self-inflicted too. Either way, two perpetrators can get involved; in football parlance it’s called “piling on.” To avoid this diversion from recovery, awakening to the deeper recesses of our psyche is critical to full healing.

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During an MDMA three phase treatment, quite naturally the starting point is to take an honest and kind look at ourselves – the intrapersonal search. In the second treatment, once we have gotten to know ourselves a little better, focus can move more into interpersonal realms. Finally, in the third session, some patients explore their bigger and more expansive position in the animal world of relatives, into the world of their ancestors, or in the vast universe. In this process they step out of the spell of the wetigo, the collective psychosis of the world and into a more real, sacred, and safe world.

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“The indigenous people have been tracking the same ‘psychic virus’ for many centuries calling it wetiko in Cree, windigo in Ojibwa, a term that refers to a diabolically wicked person or spirit who terrorizes others by evil acts. The wetigo parasite feeds on and harvests the emotions of fear and terror. Terror is the cause of its insidious ‘ill-usory ill-logic.’ In wetiko disease, the psyche takes the terror that haunts it from within, and in its attempts to master it, is unwittingly taken over by it, thus becoming another instrument of terror in the world. We have then become the very thing we most feared, as we psychologically terrorize ourselves.”

- Paul Levy in Dispelling Wetiko: Breaking the Curse of Evil

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The Neuroscience of Negative Thinking

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 01:12:43 GMT

Pass ages in this handout are taken from Words Can Change Your Brain (2016) by Andrew Newberg, M.D., who has written many other highly acclaimed books on the brain.

This work incorporates mindfulness (thinking about your thinking) and analyzes communication patterns in yourself and with others. He writes:

The moment a person expresses even the slightest degree of negativity, it increases negativity in both the speaker’s and the listener’s brain. Instead of getting rid of anger by voicing it [as counselors often recommend], we actually increase it, and this can, over time, cause irreparable damage, not only to relationships, but to the brain as well. It can interfere with memory storage and cognitive accuracy.

What makes anger particularly dangerous is that it blinds you even to the fact that you’re angry; thus it gives you a false sense of certainty, confidence, and optimism.

Angry words send alarm messages through the brain, and they partially shut down the logic-and-reasoning centers located in the frontal lobes.

The more you stay focused on negative words and thoughts, the more you can actually damage key structures that regulate your memory, feelings, and emotions. You may disrupt your sleep, appetite, and the way your brain regulates happiness, longevity, and overall health.

The brain, it turns out, doesn’t distinguish between facts and fantasies when we color events with negativity. Instead, it assumes that a real danger exists in the world and unleashes potentially destructive brain chemicals, like cortisol.

Negative thinking is also self-perpetuating: the more you are exposed to it – your own or other peoples – the more your brain will generate additional negative feelings and thoughts.

To make matters worse, the more emotional we get, the more real the imaginary thought becomes.

Just seeing a list of positive words for a few seconds will make a highly anxious or depressed person feel better, and people who use more positive words tend to have greater control over their emotional regulation.

The repetition of personally meaningful words can actually turn on stress-reducing genes.

Negative words stimulate anxiety, and positive words can lower it. Studies consistently show that the brain gives more attention to negative words, even when we are not aware that we’ve heard them. This reinforces the argument that even the subtlest forms of negativity can sour relationships.

If you repetitiously focus on the word “peace,” saying it aloud or silently, you will begin to experience a sense of peacefulness in yourself and in others close to you. The thalamus will respond to this incoming message of peace, and it will relay the information to the rest of the brain. Pleasure chemicals like dopamine will be released, the reward system of your brain will be stimulated, anxieties and doubts will fade away, and your entire body will relax. And if you do these practices consistently over a period of time, your sense of compassion will grow. In fact, some of the most recent studies show that this kind of exercise will increase the thickness of your neocortex and shrink the size of your amygdala, the flight-or-fight mechanism in your brain.

According to the Mayo Clinic, that followed seven thousand people over forty years, when you add optimistic thinking to your equation, you can actually add up to two years to your life.

When we are practicing what is most meaningful in our lives, we are less distracted by the problems that occur throughout the day.

Can a brief thirty second relaxation exercise really change your brain in ways that will measurably improve your communication skills? Yes! And several fMRI studies have shown that a one-minute relaxation exercise will increase activity in the cortex that really changes your brain in ways that will measurably improve your communication skills, social awareness, mood regulation, and improve decision making abilities. If you increase the length beyond one minute, additional parts of the brain will be activated that help you become more focused and attentive. Cortisol levels will drop, which means that your levels of biological stress will have decreased.

To build a new habit, we have to repeat a new behavior hundreds and hundreds of times. This is what a mindfulness practice can do for you.

Merely repeating positive affirmations to yourself may not raise mood or achievement very much. Instead you have to imbed optimism in your brain through the power of “non-negative thinking.”

Researchers at the University of Toledo show that by manipulating your own thoughts you can even undo negative memories and programming from a traumatic childhood by “rescripting” the events more accurately and imagining a different outcome or solution from this point onward.

As a shrewd Hasidic rabbi once said, “Before you speak, ask yourself this question, will your words improve the silence?”

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MDMA - Remembering and Re-membering

Mon, 27 Jun 2022 14:28:05 GMT

I believe the therapeutic use of MDMA is likely to be most effective in healing the soul when administered using rituals employed in a sacred treatment ceremony. From an indigenous perspective, trauma recovery is about finding our lost, forgotten, or never discovered, soul.

The process is referred to as a soul retrieval , the rebuilding of a better self from the carnage of the past. In the process we remember who we really were are, who we are beneath trauma’s rubble, what are destiny originally was upon entering this human body form, and who we are destined to be. Our destiny to be created is referred to as a future retrieval. It is sort of a composting process as Thich Nhat Hahn has outlined in his book, No Mud, No Lotus .

Shamans have long portrayed a soul loss or soul theft as the deterioration and releasing of the physical self, and with it, all that once was original to the person. In artistic sketches I have seen depictions of the victim as a female being torn apart with her skin falling away in a dark and cavernous pit. Then nearly all body organs drop to the ground and eventually largely skeletal parts remain amidst piles of other human bones. It is as if nearly all of what was a natural part of a once beautiful human form has dissolved, and with it, the trauma tarnished ego with its memory of abuse and trauma.

Next, imagine a bird flying above the earthen pit and the victim, with one remaining flesh covered arm, reaching skyward pleading for help. The animal relative responds by summoning help, and soon a human is depicted as sitting atop the opening extending a hand downward to offer help. She is lifted out of the cavern and her body begins to re-form. There is a remembering, rebuilding, or re-membering of the body that commences. Out of the nightmare existence, after trusting a human once again, she is lifted from the chamber and the repair of both body and spirit is completed.

At that point the woman, once weakened by trauma and a near-death experience, rises to her feet, hands outstretched toward the heavens. Her body appears completely reconstituted and she is surrounded by a flock of festive birds. She is ecstatic with a sense of having been cleansed, rejuvenated, and revitalized after having been through an experience of life-changing importance, redefinition, and empowerment. Her psyche is reset to its original pure, innocent, and compassionate condition.

And according to shamanic legend, a healer is now being born, reconstituted from the residue of the trauma. It turns out that her original form at birth is what has been restored.

And as Hopi Elders have long taught, we are the positive change in the world we wish to see, the “ones we have been waiting for.” Out of our own ashes a transformative experience unfolds.

With many dark nights of the soul there is often a descent to the inner world of fear or terror, portrayed as being trapped in a cavern. The shadow of our original self remains in the darkness but still can be rediscovered. A power born of suffering beckons us to realize the greater purpose and meaning for our lives. New responsibilities are beheld, usually involving a life of devoted and steadfast service to others. And when this happens a fundamental understanding becomes clear: Illness and suffering can be a gift, an initiation that thrusts us into a dismembering process and a complete re-graphing at the deepest level of our being at the soul level.

At this juncture we embrace and engage all of what was once thought to be the inferior parts of our being. A shift in consciousness transpires – from judgment to tolerance, from rejection to acceptance, from separation to connection, and from fear to love of self and others. We question everything about our prior existence. And after the re-membering scenario, we also remember who we once were, the healing art that rests within us, and where that can take us.

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“Remembering used to be easier than it is now.” - Bonnie Glass-Coffin in Lessons in Courage: Peruvian Shamanic Wisdom for Everyday Life

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Additional Reading: The World of Shamanism: New Views of an Ancient Tradition by Roger Walsh, M.D.

MDMA and Reciprocity

Sun, 26 Jun 2022 23:56:36 GMT

At the foundation of most indigenous cosmologies is the ethic of reciprocity. It is about an exchange of energy that we don’t wait for, but instead initiate.

The idea is to give to others without the primary motive of receiving anything in return, yet understanding that life tends to reciprocate if we are fair and generous.

The Q’ero people of Peru recognize that interpersonal relationships often cause harm. At the same time, relationships are central to any person’s recovery from painful social encounters. They believe that to promote anyone’s healing it is essential to support a return to their indispensable participation in upholding the deeply intertwined social and world order, lovingly participating with others – what they call ayni , or what can also be understood as reciprocity. To uphold one is too uphold all.

The Golden Rule – a consummate commandment worldwide -- suggests we do onto others as we would have them do onto us. Nice, but perhaps a bit narcissistic. The Platinum Rule, in contrast, suggests we do onto others as they would have us do onto them. A bit more altruistic. Even the concept of them, especially post-MDMA, might seem to fall a little short as it doesn’t recognize the interconnectedness of all of humanity like the Lakota words – mitakuye oyasin – that acknowledges the unity of “all my relatives.”

There is another old maxim: Don’t criticize a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins. But how can I put myself into the shoes of another if I am not fully aware of who is standing in my shoes. This is reminiscent of the medical dictum: Physician know thyself. And if we know ourselves – candidly admitting all the shortcomings and foibles – we are better prepared to empathize with the plight of others, especially those who have hurt us. Easy to say, or write, yet very difficult to do the work. That is, however, a process that is routinely supported by MDMA-assisted psychotherapy, when we realize our common humanity and, while thinking of our abuser(s) conclude, “Maybe it wasn’t such a personal act after all.” Building on that idea, one more maxim: Hurt people hurt people; wounded people wound people.

Ezra ben-Pesach (in Parabola magazine , Winter 2021-2022) asserts how when we love our neighbor as ourself, we recognize that at the core we are all comprised of the very same essence, souls constituted of God. When we love without judgment and limitation we see the divine infinite in others and, in turn, free ourselves from being judged and having well-defined boundaries.

Barriers of the ego do not exist at the deeper levels of humanity where mutual essence lives. In essence, we connect with our essence, with the God in ourselves and “others.”

This begs the vital question: Do I actually love myself? And if I can’t answer in the affirmative, the first order of business might be to commence a practice of self-compassion. That is the foundational work that must precede the kind of love ben-Pesach suggests. After that the interplay can begin.

Many spiritual and religious philosophies dating back thousands of years have promoted concepts of reciprocity. But on a local scale, resting in our enlarging heart, is this growing concept of give-and-take that is easily tapped during an MDMA session. Our hope, maybe our duty, is to keep that spirit of mutuality alive thereafter.

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“All is change, all is exchange.”

- Evan Pritchard, No Word for Time: The Way of the Algonquin People

“What you would avoid suffering yourself, seek not to impose upon others.”

- Epictetus, Greek philosopher

“Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law of the Prophets.”

- Matthew 7:12

“Not one of you truly believes until you wish for others that which you wish for yourself.”

- Islam Prophet Mohammed Hadith

“It is by giving that we receive.”

- Saint Francis of Assisi

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Additional Reading: Footer - Paragraph | 12 pt | Lora | Double Light Height

All Hyperlinks - Paragraph | 16 pt | Lor a | Italic Underline | Color #bf7152

Spirit Possession

Sun, 26 Jun 2022 22:56:47 GMT

The idea of possessions, or being possessed, has been around for most of recorded history.

Ancient shamans, and later religious priests, were tasked with the responsibility of understanding this kind of invasive dilemma and how to alleviate it. One common solution is exorcism. The many varieties of exorcism strategies have varied from culture to culture, century to century. Let’s take a closer look.

Two key words need to be understood. Spirit and possession . Spirit can be

understood as the energy or influence that permeates our being. It is like an

aliveness, a life force, or a vibration that can offer energy or deplete it.

We have spirit, others have spirit, and sometimes they collide with loving results.

Spirits can come together with great healing power to overcome an illness. In the

Christian religion, the spirit or revitalizing power of Jesus is thought to hold the

power to save believers during tumultuous times. But on other occasions the

influence of a negative or satanic spirit can feel dreadful. That is the focus of this

article.

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Possessions have long been studied by anthropologists and theologians; they

have been observed over time in most societies. They can be defined as

situations when an outside supernatural power is believed to have taken control

of a person’s body, mind, and wellbeing. Like an infection, these mental intruders

can linger and may need well thought out procedures for a successful removal.

The most notable word for this type of cathartic expulsion is exorcism .

An exorcism is usually a very dramatic and powerful event as I have repeatedly

witnessed in South Africa. The possessed, often using the assistance of a priest,

will jointly, loudly, powerfully, aggressively, and emotionally throw off the

darkness “In the name of Jesus,” a strong symbolic force. Here we see a

combination of forces: casting off spirits with a powerful external force while

infusing the possessed with a Christian belief that affords internal strength – both

a ridding and absorbing process. By assembling community support during an exorcism or healing ceremony, the merged forces magnify increased power over dangerous spirits. Multiple higher levels of healing power strengthen patients: a) the healer/priest, b) a higher power (e.g., Jesus, God, Holy Spirits), and c) dramatic community rituals when widely shared healing beliefs are being employed.

Possession can only occur if, at the same time, there is a depossession of the self. In other words a part of our being – our soul – is lost, relinquished, or some would say, stolen. Soul loss or soul theft is language that is commonly applied. Often this takes place when an influential and forceful person enters a person’s life and never seems to exit, even after their physical departure or death. One doesn’t even have to be able to pinpoint who it is, but the influence can be overwhelming and lasting. I call such depleting people emotional vampires .

These vampires suck the life blood, the healthy energy, from individuals. Their victims are left feeling uncertain and fearful, timidly looking over their shoulder for other invaders. Lookalikes (or should I say “feelalikes”) come along – a similar boss, neighbor, colleague, or a new partner and what was thought to be a problem once successfully addressed resurfaces again.

Sometimes a person divorces, moves, quits a job and a negative spirit seems to follow them. But maybe, because they have deeply absorbed a thought virus (called a “wetigo”) it always accompanies folks wherever they go, at least until they depossess it – challenge and get rid of this reactivity -- cast it off.

Some cultures offer a second treatment approach, accommodation . This is like recognizing the force that is in a person but choosing to work with it, guide it, and eventually manage it. In part, this thinking is similar to the old psychoanalytical philosophy that says, “what we resist will persist.” Fighting something too much is like attaching to it, being glued to it rather than releasing it. By demonstrating personal alarm (to one’s self or the dark force) a person signals they can be defeated and, in so doing, they can fuel or further empower the invading spirits.

Alternately, as Martin Luther King Jr. taught us, it may be more effective to see this energy as potential fuel whereby it can be transmuted into something new and stronger, sort of like “spiritual composting.” A person makes something better out of it.

An example of transmutation is often seen in indigenous communities of Africa and South America. After a person has fallen grievously ill or has been infected by an evil spirit, perhaps by a hex, many cultures believe they experience a calling . It is certainly painful but also a life changing awakening that causes a person to do good in response to this energy, challenging evil with forces of love and healing service. Paradoxically, as Saint Francis advised: “It is giving that we receive, it is consoling that we are consoled…”

Many people who initially felt broken by the curse of another, eventually found it offered them an opportunity for a breakthrough rather than a breakdown. Like a stiff wind, it could either blow them over or, like an airplane, lift them up.

Much of it had to do with personal choice. Many people on the receiving end of harmful spirits discovered their true calling after being infected with something negative. Many shift careers and become professional caregivers, responding to unkind force with kind service.

Again, think of MLK who said the only effective way to counter hate and evil is by ramping up our capacity to love. Again and again he said, love is the antidote. It gives us psychological immunity. But Martin also preached, “Love is mankind’s most potent weapon for personal and social transformation.” Additionally, he advised, “A man can’t ride your back unless it’s bent.” So how we stand in the face of threats and ugliness determines the eventual outcome…who will eventually win. As much as people are inclined to concentrate on the eradication of evil, one must concentrate more heavily on the advancement of love. One’s posture can be to either react , or to respond ; there is a significant difference. The first is knee-jerk, the latter is thoughtful.

A second process of accommodation can entail joining a support group. Not one that merely regurgitates narratives of exploitation, despair, and helplessness that further entrenches a victim identity, but affiliations that staunchly oppose evil spirts and thereby whips up healing energy. A community that professes effusive or big love (vs. resentment and righteousness), refusing to be blown off course by countervailing winds, heals all its participants.

In some African and Haitian indigenous societies an empowering response can include involvement in predominantly women’s possession cults. They can be regarded as part of an uplifting movement. Collectively, many women’s cults offer each other support to gain mastery over harmful spirits, often after being in oppressive and controlling relationships with men, or from being touched by dark male divinities. With dances (like a “danced religion”) and other cathartic rituals, possessed devotees find their voice and give expression to long suppressed desires and ambitions. Previously damned-up emotions are released in a contagious healing ceremony.

There have also been male depossession cults, and almost universally, they are formed by subordinated and dispossessed (expelled) groups of people, like slaves. One can become a leader within this type of cult -- whether male or female – and, in effect, climb a social ladder and become a prominent person in the public eye. What was once regarded as a debilitating affliction, when approached adroitly, can be transformative.

Another way of finding peace is almost the opposite of an exorcism or depossession. It is more about reclaiming one’s previous self rather than evicting an invader . This can be another important distinction and may reflect one’s personal beliefs and style.

Many shamans, and even contemporary healers, call this approach a soul retrieval . It is about reclaiming a person’s original goodness, one’s childlike innocence before it was contaminated by dark forces in the world around them. What is being reclaimed is the divine (Godly) benevolence everyone was born with, quite the opposite of the worldly malevolence (evil) that was delivered to the doorstep of the mind.

To be effective, this therapeutic process relies on carefully crafted behaviors and rituals, often conducted in sacred ceremonies that lift a person from the depths of fear and despair to the original and pure version of themselves. So, it can be described as a homecoming rather than casting another person out of their home or their life. There may be no need to once again move your body and physical possessions or to run from anything or anyone. Instead you become depossessed by moving inner energy, including that of the emotional vampires that found their way into your soul, not simply your house.

No matter which approach best matches the belief system of an afflicted person, one goal always remains the same: empower yourself in all avenues of your life, not just in relationship to dark forces. Your spirit force, your soul force, can be bolstered so it can overcome most any external threat. Don’t assume the power resides outside of you. Demons don’t possess you, they momentarily influence you.

More information can be found in two of my more recent books: Transcending Trauma and Awakening the Healing Soul: Indigenous Wisdom for Today’s World .

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MDMA, Shame, and Self-forgiveness

Sun, 26 Jun 2022 21:38:16 GMT

Many food and medicinal products are given an estimated shelf life. After a certain date we are to throw them out.

Even sour cream is to be discarded lest it becomes even more sour. But it seems like some human missteps that have given us shame seem to have no end date assigned. So we unwittingly hang on to our shame indefinitely. It can become increasingly sour.

Shame can be like an unending penance and a repeated internal announcement of our unfitness to be on this planet with others. Externally, we apologize for ourselves and apologize for apologizing – that’s how deep its roots can be. Today, if shame’s inherent benefits – its nutritional value to our mind – is finally being questioned, it may be the time to seriously consider cleaning out the refrigerator of our soul.

MDMA is a relational medicine . And while interpersonal relationships -- especially when deceit and betrayal are involved and give rise to trauma -- it is wise to consider how we further betray ourselves with punishing ruminations over perceived mistakes. One must ask, how many times must I replay that act of 1998 and berate myself with a story of unworthiness, dishonoring myself today for what amounts to ancient history?

It’s one thing to have healthy guilt over behaviors that hurt others. That’s why we make serious, empathetically detailed, heartfelt apologies and move on. But if we are not wide awake, guilt can morph into shame when we no longer feel like our previous behavior by itself was flawed. Rather, the conclusion is made that even today as human beings we are now inherently and, in fact , permanently flawed regardless of much our relationship skills have improved. If we don’t address the underlying mistaken assumptions, neglecting ourselves could be the recipe for additional guilt and shame down the path. Remember: shame promotes a sense of worthlessness but shame itself is what is worthless. As a recovering heroin addict said to me, “The only thing worth shaming is shame itself.”

An Episcopalian priest once introduced me to an important word that is germane to this healing process. It is expiation . Sometimes atonement, he said, can be overdone and harmful. We may punish ourselves long after a hurtful deed was done and act as if nothing could possibly banish memory of the event from our mind or from the memories of those who know us. Errantly, we assume others are hanging on to the “Act of 1998” in a similar fashion when, in fact, most people may have moved on decades ago, no longer remembering it.

My priest friend advised that when we receive and understand “the call” -- fully owning and understanding the outdated shortcoming and the harm once done -- our next responsibility is to “hang up.” If we no longer commit similar acts, we are allowed to say to ourselves: enough is enough!

To do otherwise is to accumulate more guilt, convert it into more shame and, as a result, develop an angry attitude toward others fearing they will want to hurt us because of who we are (or who we once were). If we hang on to shame, a “strike first mentality” sets in: reject others before they can reject us. The result is like spraying ourselves with a “people repellant” that keeps folks away from us. And when that happens we can erroneously conclude, “See, I am worthless!”

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An MDMA ceremony may help draw a demarcation line between the past and the present. It may be a time when our emotional armor can be dropped and, once and for all, bring updated insights to longstanding relationship patterns – especially the relationship with one’s self/Self.

There is much to be said about a pilgrimage to the treatment location. By getting psychologically ready, booking a flight, packing bags including sacred items, reflecting on what the desired outcome could be, recovery is put in motion. Hope arises. We arrive on site with half of our work already completed. The ceremony makes the work sacred and official.

There is the value of dropping defenses which is encouraged by the medicine. The medicine shifts (enlarges) our worldview and allows us to reboot our human biocomputer -- our mind. A fresh start.

This is done while in the company of safe, caring, and non-judgmental persons who bear witness to our journey and lift us up on our Healing Path. It is often helpful to know, especially in advance, that the ceremonial caregivers will likely find brave confessions merit immense respect. The process paves over shame with newfound self-respect.

Leave shame behind at the treatment site, far away from your home. Journal what is being jettisoned, what no longer serves a useful purpose in your developing life. Take the notes outdoors and bury them in Earth. Mother will be the Ultimate Composter who turns it into fertilizer for something better to emerge (more hope).

So lingering shame is an unexamined force, for good or for harm. Some choice is involved. Electing to mindfully use an empathogen is a way to make a jailbreak from shame – escaping the old prison of our mind. Our task is to focus more on going deep than being right . This entails brave self-examination done in a sacred and safe setting.

And recognize that your work is everyone’s work. That your transformation can be contagious. Being in your presence is not toxic. Proof of this comes in the experience of caregivers who are rewarded by being in the company of your vulnerability, your bravery, your example, your spirit. As one grows, all three in attendance grow. That’s how it works. What you believed to be your toxic poison becomes, fertilizer – Miracle Grow. Or as Thich Naht Hahn wrote, “No mud, no lotus.”

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“I see the truth in thee, and what is in thee is in me.”

- Upanishads

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MDMA and Our Relationship with Emotions, part 1

Sun, 26 Jun 2022 21:16:00 GMT

MDMA is understood as a relational medicine. It cultivates and then nourishes new ways of perceiving, understanding, and integrating relationships.

That includes relationships with people, your past, other animals, elements, the spirit world, your purpose, and your emotions.

Once a strong emotion – perhaps long associated with a crisis or trauma – shows up, we are inclined to allow it to take us captive. We get stuck in its dense and dark energy. We become it. And when that is allowed to happen, say “goodbye” to insight and inspiration. Once in its full grip, we are cut off from the normal flow of life, a flow that wants to take us forward, enlighten us, and evolve us.

If we are flexible and momentarily shrewd, we just might sit with a strong emotion and mindfully wonder, “What might it teach me about myself?” Not teach me something about a damn perpetrator that I’ve always been pissed off with, but, gently, how can it lead me to a greater understanding of myself and my relationship with an ultimately benevolent universe. Can it lead me back to me? Is it like a wakeup call?

So the goal is to momentarily relax into the discomfort , seeing it from a 35,000 foot high perspective, trying to understand how big and menacing it really is as I fly over Nebraska far, far below. At that point in time and space I may recognize emotions are invisible, and how I am being very reactive to invisible things of my own creation. Somebody else simply triggered it after somebody else triggered them, and on and on it goes. Do I want to be swept away in a chain reactions? Who should I blame -- anyone? Where, instead, could I concentrate my focus?

Landing in Oklahoma City (ugh!, more trauma) I am left to respond and not just react. From a heightened level of consciousness I have thrust into the role of observer. From such a posture, it is too small, too convenient, or maybe even too lazy, to cast myself in a story of past victimhood. Ultimately, what I do with life either liberates me or imprisons me in negative emotional states.

So I enter my mind’s machinations – ta-dah! It note how it reactively does its thing, working overtime in an effort to heroically protect me. It does the best it can with its left brain constructs -- a dichotomous black and white, right and wrong, comparative, and judgmental perspective to most everything – all of which creates an emotional ouch. And it can ruminate and obsess for me too. “Please,” I say to ego, “take a break my friend, you’re working way too hard at this.”

The mind is the invisible ego we can’t see; the brain is the physical biocomputer that gets most of the blame, you know, for being “broken” or in some way “damaged” (thank you DSM). Truth is “ouch happens,” but a continuation of suffering is optional; it depends on where we place our focus.

When we formulate a new relationship with our mind -- a creation not always in complete cahoots with the left brain -- freedom from negative emotional impacts is achievable. That new rapport involves pausing and then observing from a self-created distance, like from an elevated platform, or from our seat on the plane.

When we simply notice emotions there is less inclination to wear them and become them. They simply are what they are: fleeting invisible concoctions of our mind and its friend, left brain.

Now, should we choose to be gentler with ourselves and dis-identify from being so vastly different from “others,” the groundwork is laid to be more forgiving of those “others,” in fact, to connect with the Vast Self. That’s a right brain function. From a 35,000 foot perspective, it’s really hard to see “others” in strictly negative and disconnected terms, let alone as big and powerful victimizing monsters, or as a comedian once called them, “reptiles with bad hairdos.”

So the “heavenwork” leads to the groundwork. Maybe that is why Creator (or was it Boeing?) made airplanes, so we could see things more clearly and not have a crash landing after feeling some seemingly outer turbulence. It’s usually not something outer, some external force that is as problematic, as much as it is our inner turmoil, what we are so emotionally attached to – ya know, our old story.

When we are flying across the Atlantic we can’t, in a grumpy or fearful mood, demand that the pilot stop the flight and let us off. I’m a victim; I didn’t ask for a middle seat next to an inebriated talker! The lesson is to sit with the emotion, learn from it, ride it out, and land being a little more enlightened. As author Penache Desai suggests, perhaps each unpleasant (and pleasant) situation carries the potential to enlarge us. Like a strong wind on a stormy day, depending how a pilot wants to work with it, she has two choices: stay grounded and frustrated, or approach the wind head-on and us its energy for uplift.

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“You cannot escape yourself, no matter how hard you try. The only option is to end your resistance [to existence].”

and

“When you oppose someone, it is an energy within yourself that you are opposing. When your 'buttons get pushed,' it is because the buttons are there in the first place.”

- Penache Desai in You Are Enough

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MDMA and Our Relationship with Emotions, part 2

Sun, 26 Jun 2022 16:36:18 GMT

We live in a society that medicalizes inconvenient or unpleasant thoughts, emotions, and moods.

One of eight U.S. residents are now being medicated for depression. In an era of pharmaceutical fundamentalism, the healing power of relationships can easily be forgotten when magic potions are everywhere. Understanding ourselves is profoundly influenced by the institutions in which our lives are embedded -- a giant health care industry.

In the West, human feelings are believed to be of little value, so we may as well eradicate them. We prefer to quiet emotions and moods with drugs. Strong feelings are often regarded as threats to us, even though upon close examination, they are self-created. Oddly, emotions are viewed much like a psychological autoimmune disorder , as if our interior life is dangerously turning on us. Many people (like psychiatrists) think of depression, anxiety, grief, and other disconcerting emotions as disturbances or disorders that are to be doused with pills and adjusted by various forms of lifestyle engineering. And we tend to ordain doctors and scientists as priests of our inner world, ignoring the reality of top-down causation.

For a fresh look at old viewpoints – existential philosophy – I have turned to Gordon Marino’s book, "The Existentialist’s Survival Guide: How to Live Authentically in an Inauthentic Age." He examines how we grapple with “good and bad” emotions, everyday “ups and downs,” and ultimately, the kind of lives we lead. Marino’s guiding experts are historical figures -- philosophers like Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Dostoyevsky, and a man he refers to as a psychologist, Aristotle. He describes them as “a veritable cadre of neurotics.”

Existentialists have been perennially concerned with questions about the meaning of life, concerns that come to the fore when individuals have become unmoored from an otherwise anchored everyday life. Kierkegaard observed that despair mistakenly seems like it is over something , like losing a spouse or not achieving a dream. But, he clarified, it only seems that way. He taught that despair is always despondency over the self, as if I don’t want to be myself, or I don’t to be this version of myself. Like Freud, he regarded anxiety as much more than a surge of chemicals; it is a capsulized version of our experiences, intimate knowledge about the self. All of this requires necessary self-examination, the kind of intrapersonal introspection that many people explore in the early stages of MDMA treatment.

Albert Camus, a French moralist, is also referenced. He described life as a “collision between human beings” who have an innate craving for meaning within a universe that Camus saw as indifferent as a rock and utterly devoid of importance. Camus said, “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn or laughter.”

One of the gospel messages of existentialism -- whether it be from Kierkegaard or, more recently, Viktor Frankl – is that...

...while suffering can break a person and turn them into rocks, it can just as well provide powerful impetus for spiritual movement. It all depends on how that person approaches suffering and what they do with their emotional pain.

Kierkegaard described anxiety as a potential teacher; Marino (once a boxer and now a philosophy professor) describes it as a form of shadowboxing with ourselves. And alas, just when we seem to get something big figured out, something else comes along for us to worry about. Anxiety, after all, is about living in the future and because of this, this angst impedes our ability to comfortably stay focused and content in the moment before us.

Depression, the first cousin of angst, can be understood as a disturbance in the way we talk to ourselves. We can be debilitated by our thoughts, and the resulting emotional funk can leave us bereft of curiosity and creativity, while creating hopelessness too. During a depression many of our negative thoughts (depressed cognitions) and fervent emotions show up as illnesses, misleading individuals of where their physical maladies arose from. And gloomy emotions can erupt into physical illnesses only to be treated by even more drugs. Thus the contemporary conclusions that “the body keeps the score” but, voila, there is a “pill for every ill.”

Despair and depression can lead some to become addicted to negativity. Addicted to stories of sadness. Addicted to comparisons and competition with others. Addicted to abusive relationships. Even addicted to psychotherapy and doctoring.

When blindsided by emotional stingers, Marino concludes, we might not have much choice in how we feel at that immediate moment, but we do, however, have control over and responsibility for, the way we respond and relate to those feelings. A frequent chord in his book is that our feelings are one thing, and the way we respond to our feelings quite another . It’s about having a set of management strategies to give us a sense of control.

Moods, as Kierkegaard regarded them, were likened to an internal weather system . They get sparked by something external that generates dark and light moods, and much like thunderstorms, they don’t endure. Expectedly, they come and go day after day, season after season, year after year. That ever-present understanding represents a mindful survival skill.

Today, to calm inner storms, to soften and shift harsh thoughts about themselves and others, and to become more honest versions of who they are and want to be, some people seek professional, psychotherapy assisted, MDMA treatment. During such an experience emerging empathy, compassion, and love steer them toward a healthier and more honest perspective of themselves, persons who have harmed them, and life itself. To be whole, as Nietzsche simply implored, is to “become who you are,” deeply. And while becoming more authentic we must take strides to actively disavow any inauthenticity, which may seem obvious but is an important distinction.

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“Kierkegaard taught that Jesus’s love commandment, namely, to love thy neighbor as thyself, first and foremost requires proper self-love.”

- Gordon Marino

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Ancient African Proverbs

Sun, 26 Jun 2022 16:03:36 GMT

Ancient African Proverbs

New Title

Proverbs are the palm oil with which words are eaten.

- Nigeria

A man who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the man doing it.

- Swaziland

The poorest person is not the one without money but the one without vision.

- Ghana

Old men sit in the shade because they planted a tree many years before.

- Uganda

Youths talk first and the listen; the elders listen and then talk.

- Lesotho

A Pygmy’s shadow is greater with a setting sun. (Our ancestor’s merits are often only recognized after their passing.)

- Democratic Republic of the Congo

Gather knowledge from the minds of turtles. (Like the Elders, they have seen it all).

- Tunisia

A man who prides himself on his ancestry is like a potato plant, the best part is underground.

- Swaziland

Bequest two things to your children – the first one is roots; the other one is wings.

- Sudan

A tree is strong because of its roots.

- Zambia

Good sailors are made by turbulent seas.

- Zululand

Do not set sail using someone else’s star.

- Nigeria

If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there. If you are on a road to nowhere, find another road.

- Uganda

The key that unlocks is also the key that locks.

- Algeria

Make money but don’t let money make you.

- Tanzania

A man’s wealth may be superior to him.

- Gabon

If you are going to bathe, get thoroughly wet. (If you decide to do something, go all the way.)

- Malawi

If you row another person across the river, you get yourself there.

- Tanzania

Water always finds a way out. (There is a solution for every problem.)

- Cameroon

The same boiling water that softens potatoes also hardens eggs.

- Mali

No matter how hot your anger is, it cannot cook yams. (Too much anger can limit your ability to move ahead in life.)

One lie can destroy a thousand truths.

- Ghana

When the head is too big, it cannot dodge blows.

- Mauritius and Zambia

One head does not contain all the wisdom.

- Ghana

Many words do not fill a basket.

- Benin

If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.

- Malawi

A monkey does not see his own behind; he sees his neighbors.

- Zimbabwe

When a monkey climbs a tree, its bottom becomes more exposed the higher it goes.

- Malawi

A monkey that lives amongst dogs learns how to bark.

- Nigeria

Do not blame your god for having created the tiger, but thank your god for not having given it wings.

- Ethiopia

The one-eyed man does not thank God until he sees a blind man.

- Ghana

When you climb the mountain and reach the top, do not forget the branches and shrubs that helped your footing.

- South Africa

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

- Ghana

Never tell the man who is carrying you that he stinks.

- Sierra Leone

People are man’s medicine.

- Senegal

A single bracelet does not jingle.

- Democratic Republic of the Congo

If you fear something, you give it power over you.

- Chad

He who looks for honey must have the courage to face the bees.

- Seychelles

Suicide kills those who love you.

- Kenya

Love, like the rain, does not choose the grass on which it falls.

- South Africa

Do not be so in love that you cannot tell when the rain is coming.

- Madagascar

A letter from the heart is read on the face.

- Kenya

If there is cause to hate someone, the cause to love has just begun.

- Senegal and Gambia

A real fortune teller says: “If it is not a boy, it is a girl.

- Madagascar

A wise man who knows his proverbs reconciles difficulties.

- Ghana

Africa’s long history has given rise to much wisdom. For more proverbs, check out Life is God’s Best Gift: Wisdom from the Ancestors on Finding Peace and Joy in Today’s World by Sam Chege (Kenyan).

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MDMA and Fear

Sun, 26 Jun 2022 01:57:02 GMT

Most everyone in search of empathogen treatment wants their inner fears quieted.

Fears that commonly originated in relationship hurts and betrayals, hence the desire for a relational medicine.

Simply put, fear arises from unfamiliarity and unpredictability, from unexamined aspects of the psyche. Hafez, the 12 ^th century Persian poet wrote, “Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.” And by the “cheapest room” I think he meant the place in our thinking where we have expended the least amount of energy and invested insufficient attention -- it is like viewing the world from the distant cheap seats.

When I’ve camped in the wild country of Wyoming, particularly in the dark of night when it was difficult to see clearly, my imagination could run wild. Fear – when it arose mainly from my thoughts and imagination – sometimes conjured images of a nonexistent grizzly. As Sophocles, the Greek playwright of tragedies clarified, “To him who is in fear everything rustles.”

Fear is natural and necessary for our survival. Our two amygdalae are like highly caffeinated sentries always on the lookout for possible danger, principally after being roused by unexpected traumas, especially those that came early in life. The amygdalae tend to form instantaneous judgments without any reflection: Danger! Danger! Run, scurry, seek shelter! Long lived and little examined fears lock us inside ourselves, shutting social doors behind us. And we don’t even have to travel to a wilderness area to feel it running up our spine and raising our hackles.

Sometimes love and fear dwell in regions beyond proof of their reality. The former offers promise, the other peril. Both can cause us to be lost in the wild country of our minds, only later to be awakened to the confounding sense that maybe nourishing love never was present in the first place and calamity isn’t waiting in the wings when a hurtful person departs the scene. Intensity, when misperceived as intimacy, frequently leads to feelings of betrayal, going from fantasy to reality very fast. Betrayal can then trigger fear, even propagate terror, and ultimately conceive an ongoing, unregulated near-panic state.

At some point this rowdy group of feelings takes on a life of its own in the bodymind despite what is actually happening in the moment. It can develop into a persistent day-to-day hypersensitivity no longer requiring any ongoing direct stimulation and seemingly with no “shut off” switch. To thwart this process, the amygdalae may have to be momentarily calmed allowing clear thinking to prevail; then we can make sense of what just happened, or didn’t .

Sticking with the wilderness metaphor, someone at the Wyoming Outdoor Leadership School once very wisely opined about being lost:

“You have to find your mind first, before you can find your way out of the woods. The first thing you can do is elect to coolly open your ‘jar of calm’ and pour it over everything.”

With that visualization a mini decision is made to ground yourself in reality, not obsessing about the boogeymen of unfamiliar terrain, or the residual imagination and unchallenged machinations still persisting well after long ago scary escapades ended.

The 16 ^th century Spanish mystic, Saint John of the Cross, was always easily smitten by beauty, yet formed his character because of his suffering and loss. He wrote about his dark nights of the soul. More recently Thomas Merton, Thomas Moore, and others have written about these cataclysmic and catalytic times in life. In those lingering painful moments (what some would call “depression”) we are inclined to feel deserted and fearful. In those aching moments of abandonment and loneliness we long to be met by someone who can assuage our emotional pain. Frequently, no one arrives, at least not immediately. There is something we must figure out about ourselves first before we instinctively look outward for answers, especially from people who don’t know us as well as we do, or soon will.

The hormone oxytocin (9 linked amino acids) is produced during an MDMA treatment. It has the uncanny ability to increase our accuracy for recognizing fear (up to 20%) which can lend some calm. It is during a treatment that one is able to discern if old fears are still legitimate threats, if their original purpose is kaput, and if we need to hold onto them any longer. At that time the emotional amygdalae gets to take a nap; the two will wake up again if legitimately needed. Meanwhile we strive to remain on intellectual alert, rather than in primal emotional panic, able to determine if we want to stay attached (addicted) to our fear.

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“No great art has ever been made without the artists having known danger. Grief and terror are spaces for transformation.”

- Rainer Maria Rilke

“Theology has to be done in the face of danger.”

- Johann Baptist Metz

“We weren’t made for pavements and escalators, but for thunder and mud.”

- Jay Griffiths

“The only thing to fear is fear itself.”

- FDR

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MDMA, Big Mind, Big Time, Big Identity

Sat, 25 Jun 2022 17:22:32 GMT

Who am I?

Little self or Big Self? Am I something bigger than I have been able to imagine up to this point in life?

Many mystics and spiritual seekers express interest in mind expansion – seeing themselves and the world from a wider and more meaningful perspective. Some people find introspection through meditation and contemplation to be helpful in this regard. Another avenue to understanding how and where we fit in can include entheogens (like psilocybin) and empathogens (like MDMA).

With a strong connection to Mother Earth, Pachamama, or the world surrounding us, many indigenous tribes see an interconnectedness that many of us miss, or can’t comprehend on a deep level. I am reminded of Yiokasin Ghosthorse, a Lakota radio broadcaster. He has defined soil as “who we used to be.” Soil is also what we will go back to being after our extraordinarily brief sojourn on this planet. The Mother’s umbilical cord is never broken. What Ghosthorse’s words do for me is to invoke a much longer time frame than many of us Westerners routinely consider or can practically comprehend. It is our temptation to think in supernatural terms rather than the super natural .

In the grand scheme of things, it is mighty difficult, at least from Ghosthorse’s soil perspective, to think of ourselves as very important individuals, “king of the hill” so to speak. Yet, following indigenous-inspired MDMA treatment(s) our stature and concern with personal eminence seems to diminish. A humility, versus hubris, enters into everyday consciousness. Buddhists might refer to this phenomenon as “dying unto ego” – a subjective loss of self-identity, no longer being in the left-brain’s tight grip of how I want or think I need to be seen. Shedding this addiction -- an attachment to the incessant desire for an outsized planetary significance – often occurs following a spiritual awakening induced by psilocybin or MDMA. It is a sobering and enlightening event, similar to what Bill W., co-founder of AA, experienced after ingesting LSD.

Native cultures emphasize our relationship to “all the relatives.” And the enhanced consciousness derived from the medicines can be regarded as a relational intelligence. With it comes an enhanced sense of obligation, or responsibility, to each living being on Earth.

And reciprocity too; it’s no longer all about me. It is as if our culturally programmed narcissism shrinks and we shed our separating skin, merging with the greater humanity, a greater animism, the eternal Big Soul.

When a person “awakens” from a four to six-hour treatment, they often have a pressing desire to connect with other people, to rejoin a larger social world. A generosity is felt, a mutuality, the desire to offer care to others who have been forgotten for too long, like the downtrodden or even persons who once harmed them. Like a Lakota who commits to the Sun Dance on behalf of his people, any previous aversion to sacrifice fades away. The power of connection is so strong. The desire to serve is so compelling. Values shift in the direction of big-heartedness. And it seems to get a “neuronal foothold” and persists.

Buddhists talk about the Eightfold Path . One of those paths is right understanding or what I would like to call right relationship. This entails a shift from emphasis on accumulating “likes” to mapping relationships, from quantity to quality, from goal orientation to the process of intimate relating -- a communal orientation. The poet, W. H. Auden put it succinctly when referring to our connection to all that is when he advised, “Love your crooked neighbor with all your crooked heart.” We are, after all, very similar and to deny this basic tenet, is to live a life of separation which leads to suffering and ultimately to loneliness. So if we are to look out for ourselves, we must consistently look out for everyone.

Similar to the tightly intertwined underground mycelium root network of mushrooms, a change in our neuronal networking can nudge us in the direction of greater connectivity, and along with it, greater wisdom of who we are and all the places where we live…and flourish. At the root of life, like-minded people includes everyone.

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“It is my belief that entheogenic agents unleash a form of consciousness better able to grapple with the ultimate questions about the reality process than our normal frames of awareness, that they truly offer us a glimpse of some great meaning hitherto the sole domain of the shaman and the mystic, a meaning only alluded to in the conventional religions of the world.”

- Simon Powell in The Psilocybin Solution: The Role of Sacred Mushrooms in the Quest for Meaning

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MDMA's Deep Cleaning of the Soul

Sat, 25 Jun 2022 16:57:38 GMT

Ken Wilber, a renowned spiritual author of many books, has been thought of as being too cerebral for many people to understand. Much of what he has written, however, can be easy to grasp.

For instance, he has written a three part prescription for balanced personal development: “Grow up [personal maturity], wake up [spiritual expansion], and clean up [your life, health, home, and all relationships].”

In recent years it has been heartening to see mindfulness and meditation practices reach more and more people. In a way, they can be regarded as witnessing practices , observing ourselves from a somewhat detached perspective. For some folks, however, these practices can cause them to drift into states of emotional numbness and indifference – what some might term bliss bypassing or spiritual bypassing . Upon being lifted up by mystical experiences it can mislead persons into thinking some major growth has occurred when, in fact, they were unintentionally avoiding pain by not exploring their trauma deeply. More bliss, more trauma, more bliss seeking, still trauma. So what’s missing from the healing process?

Mindfulness and meditation, can take people inward for sure. That’s good, as long as it doesn’t distract them from pain, or circumvent the process of exploring outside relationships. MDMA helps many individuals look at their internal (intrapersonal) relationship as well as the interpersonal and beyond. With the help of some momentary neurotransmitter alterations, and maybe some long term neurogenesis, most people land at a place of clearheaded empathic kindness that comforts them with regard to a traumatic past, while helping them to face reality squarely.

Deep cleaning is part of a commitment to leave no stone, no impediment to growth, unturned. It involves waking up and looking around for settled dust, mind clutter, and social muck that leaves them feeling emotionally stuck.

With many matters examined and moved out of the way, that is when folks can finally become unanchored and move beyond their past, when as Wilber would put it, they “grow up.”

Using the words of the German spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, all of us must explore our pain body – how we have carried unresolved trauma in the mind and body. Just by mindfully noting negative and unhelpful thoughts -- perhaps the residue of trauma – the ego that is rooted in the left hemisphere of the brain is weakened. Moving to the right side of the brain, perhaps a person will feel as if they are “at one with the universe.” Many people feel awakened after this kind of very seductive bliss experience. But be careful. Don’t bypass the difficult stuff -- the painful hardships -- as healing work may just be beginning. It is imperative to immerse oneself in old and scary emotional memories, and MDMA can soften that ride. That process, when completed, can be transformative.

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Reflect for a moment of any time you have watched Eckhart Tolle speak. Did he makes sense? Quite likely. Did he help you develop personal insights? Likely he did. Did you ever see him sobbing, screaming, swearing, laughing uproariously, or tenderly nurturing himself? Not so likely. Tolle is an excellent mental gymnast but hasn’t modeled the kind of emotional vulnerability required to meet and process gripping and powerful traumatic pain. MDMA is a second level pain body treatment that works with both the right and left hemispheres of the brain.

After we have grappled with our dark side, understood or perhaps forgiven hurtful people, it may be necessary to clean a little more deeply. By that I mean perhaps we have addressed our trauma and recovery a little too superficially, and now must look at how we used those experience to justify perpetrating against others.

In some instances, it is not uncommon to exonerate people who have been directly engaged with us in hurtful ways while neglecting how our anger has been generalized toward the community surrounding us, the community from which all the hurt was spawned. In other words, there is some danger of transferring remaining anger or resentment toward an entire group of people while thinking it was enough to forgive an individual, an abuser, our ex, etc. That can signify unfinished business and the necessity for more deep cleaning.

This might indicate a need to explore symbolic organizations that have harmed us and to whom we are retuning harm. It may be a school once attended, a church we belonged to, a spiritual movement we engaged with, a political party that promised but did not deliver relief. In fact, any community of people that wasn’t there for us, perhaps betrayed us and, it seems, continues to let us down.

If any of this fits, I am suggesting a deep soul cleaning. Not just cleaning up our stories of hurtful individuals, but also looking at the way we can, without acknowledging culpability, righteously deliver pain to individuals and institutions that have not been there for us. If we continue to carry that residue inside us, it feeds the pain body and will likely interfere with our future relationships. So, let’s scrub deeply.

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“When you learn a language, it’s hard to unlearn it. Soul has learned the language of the body.”

- Saroj Aryal, Divyanjali

“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core strength within you that survives all hurt.”

- Max Lerner, The Unfinished Country

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MDMA - an Anthropological Lens on Independence

Mon, 16 May 2022 22:28:50 GMT

I am aware of an anthropologist or two who have taken this entheogen medicine and had insightful flashes and insights – vs. brightly colored geometric prisms often associated with psychedelics – that helped them understand how our culture is evolving and devolving.

From an American perspective, they note how our society values an independent identity (self) far more than most other countries do. This can cause plenty of difficulty, especially when trauma enters the picture.

As highly enculturated Americans, we tend to see things through a singular lens.

It’s all about me – what happened to me, who is at fault and needs to be blamed,

and what my painful experiences have irreparably done to my self-esteem.

Personalizing trauma too much can make adverse experiences more damaging. In

many cultures the conceptualization of trauma -- particularly its presumed and

long lasting effects – is not as highly elaborated and amplified as in the U.S.

MDMA can activate another way of thinking. Another way of seeing, interpreting,

and integrating painful life events. And another way of knowing ourselves. First

we need cultural assistance to help us see beyond our personal and singular

importance. Second , a little more help is needed from the right hemisphere of

our brains to view life from a bigger, interconnected and global perspective – if

not beyond that. If we weren’t so caught up in such a narrowly confining and

scripted view of emotional pain, we might even laugh at some of the absurdities

of our ethnocentric and egocentric view of things. As comedian Emo Philips

quipped, “I used to say that the brain was the most powerful organ in the body.

Then I realized who was telling me this.”

Excessive individualism can be an impediment to recovering from trauma.

Psychologist Robert Levine, author of Stanger in the Mirror , wrote: “If you happen

to have been raised as a full-blooded individualist…consider that numerically

you’re the freak. This independent view is pretty much limited to the United

States and part of Europe. The interdependent view predominates to one degree

or another almost everywhere else.”

Anthropologist Steven Heine adds, “More than 80 percent of the world’s cultures

find it hard to conceive of a truly separate self.” In other words, if we define normal as “the norm,” then the notion of an independent self is clearly abnormal (Did you get that? If not, please read again.). Regarding ourselves as community members or global citizens however, might help us see our life experiences from a less personal and therefore less painful perspective. Perhaps our egocentrism adds to the impact of trauma. One must recognize the constrictiveness of select cultural dogma and how that can accentuate the harmful effects of trauma.

The Japanese word for “self” is jibun , which literally translates as “one’s share” -- the implication being the share of the social context in which one exists. Outside this framework there is no true self.

Similarly in southern African countries you will hear the word ubuntu which roughly translates, “I am me because of you; no matter how different we are, we complement and complete each other.”

” In other words I can discover myself through experiences with you whether you seem nasty or nice. This even applies to perpetrators of crimes. Nothing happens in a social vacuum and we, as individuals, do not rise above everyone else as superior entities.

Head to Peru where the Q’ero shamans teach the concept of yanantin , which is their way of referencing interpersonal complementarity; each person’s uniqueness helps to perfect their social counterpart as a result of relational interplay. Another Q’ero word is masintin that stresses the chemistry between people. This responsivity teaches us how to socially dance with others, as a part of the whole. And the dance often includes temporary pain (not necessarily an alien concept like chronic PTSD) before a person can, as an integrated member of a supportive community, see their best personal qualities ripen (post-traumatic growth, PTG).

MDMA seems to open the mind to other ways of thinking and knowing, including the ability to distinguish ourselves as part of an interconnected web of humanity, or for that matter, a closely linked member of the animal world. This unity consciousness serves as an antidote to the effects of trauma; it can help us to see the big picture and recover more quickly.

American sociologists are starting to write (summarized in a NYT’s article) about something they call the “culture of complaint,” a victimhood culture with a parasitic psychological community that, in some instances, has created a billion dollar “grievance industry.” There is a fine line between fighting for victim’s rights and unwittingly promoting a victimhood culture that make us hyperaware of this one aspect of life while tacitly discouraging victims from recognizing realistic hope for a resilient response.

Susan Clancy, Research Director of the Center for Women’s Advancement, penned the book, The Trauma Myth . Completing a ten year study of victims at Harvard, she noted three things. First , almost every victim of childhood sexual abuse said they were damaged by the experience. Second , and to her surprise, she found the psychological and cognitive impact victims reported had nothing to do with trauma; the cultural context determined how persons perceived themselves and interpreted their experiences. Rather than reporting fear, shock, or physical harm at the time the abuse occurred, 92 percent of the victims described their predominant reaction as one of confusion, often accompanied by embarrassment. And our culture promulgated much of the confusion about what persons were expected to feel. Third , she discovered, “There appears to be no direct, linear relationship between the severity of the abuse and the psychosocial difficulties victims experience in adulthood.” Clancy’s insights may be extrapolated to suggest that cognitive clarity and psychological peace – of the kind MDMA victims commonly report – can seal and heal the event. Personal truth matters, our societal dictums, not so much.

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“What hurts most victims is not the experience itself, but the meaning ascribed to the experience. It is the retrospective [culturally influenced] interpretation of the event that mediates subsequent impact. Because it is backwards, the trauma model is not just failing to help victims; it is actually causing some of the harm it was supposed [to] explain by simultaneously exacerbating the victim’s damaging beliefs.” Susan Clancy, Ph.D.

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Kogi Reflections

Mon, 18 Apr 2022 22:35:22 GMT

The Elder Brothers’ Message for Younger Brother

My life has been filled with so many mysteries that, after each one I ask, “Did that really happen?” Why should I have been elected to have these experiences? A man near dead arising in the Amazon following medicine being prescribed in a guiding dream. Another dream guiding me from Zimbabwe to Swaziland to save another dying man. And then to witness an ancient Columbian tribe that visits another realm of consciousness – an enlarged consciousness -- much more vast than any phone or computer screen could deliver, more complex than any app or USA Today factoid. While I have seemingly stumbled upon dying individuals through the guidance of shamans worldwide, now the Kogi people of Colombia have told me that all of us must join together and save the life of our planet and all its inhabitants.

Like the Maya of Central America sitting atop pyramids downloading information from the universe, the Kogi sit high atop a mountain range doing the same. To understand the jaguar people of both cultures we must know something about quantum physics. To understand the Kogi we must also know something about the Overself, the Greater Consciousness, the Cosmic Mind – the umbrella of energetic information that can infuse the mind of Little Brother. Most cultures slumber below this life force of a much bigger consciousness.

It may be that the Kogi worldview began about the same time, or slightly before, Buddhism. The similar belief systems, antipodally created at about the same time a couple thousand years ago, may reflect a meeting point, a convergence in the Cosmic Mind that occurred via ancient astronomical observations.

The Kogi are a meditation and divination culture, survivors of the Tairona culture dating back millennia. Much like an isolated sect, but without hierarchical domination, they are extraordinarily isolative, mutually respectful, uncompetitive, quiet, and pensive. The men spend much of their daytime and most every night, meditating for hours. By day they quietly work their crops and by night they talk in the Ceremonial House – the symbolic womb of Mother. They have no written language – knowledge is not comprised of words, but rather it is an accumulation of experiences and insights arising from a deep meditative state.

They see themselves as the connecting link between the place of their origins (the depths of water), this middle world existence, and the vast and infinite world above and around Mother Earth. To be lost in the tiny dictatorship of a personal ego, separate from all the rest, is to be unconscious while arrogantly pretending to be learned.

The priestly shamans of this tribe are called mamas (the Enlightened Ones). They are revered community specialists, highly educated since over the span of a nine year period of isolation in childhood. Their job it is to guide, heal, and interpret the Law of the Mother.

To most people, the Kogi, especially the mamas , would likely appear strange, mysterious, or even scary. That I contend, is in part because we, the Younger Brothers, are so distant and detached from Nature. We have lost our true nature as human beings and relatives and have devolved into human doings and human accumulators .

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I responded to a mama’s “call” to deliver their message of survival to Westerners. Without a smartphone, or any phone, I headed to the mountains of Columbia to get their terse warning. There would be little socializing, just getting straight to the point, and then I was to “be gone.” And it was important that I not encourage other people to ascend into their homeland. They just desire to be left alone and want to protect their land from being further despoiled.

On the pilgrimage to an elevation over ten thousand feet, my ego and prideful determination was far stronger than my legs. My body just tagged along with my mind and experienced a “beat down” in the process. There was a motorcycle crash, I was thrown from a mule, and constantly fell on steep muddy slopes. Dehydration with its dizziness and confused thinking quickly developed after my guide and I ran out of safe drinking water. Then there was the heat stroke – fever and chills -- and eventually the gift of dysentery. Never-the-less, eating boiled roots every day and shivering cold each night trying to sleep in a hammock atop the mountain, did not distract from what proved to be a profound spiritual experience.

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Rich or poor, all Kogi live in similar huts. Some may have many cattle, others just a few chickens and turkeys, but they regard all community members as equals. The Spanish, Portuguese, and recent Colombian invader’s covetous attitudes, especially toward minerals like gold (Mother’s menstrual blood), is regarded as corrupt and obscene. Historically, the Kogi’s ancestors borrowed Her gold, melting and fashioning it into statuettes and effigies, eventually to return them to Mother as buried offerings – a display of respectful reciprocity. Over decades grave robbers from below have scoured the mountainsides desecrating sacred sites, ravenously digging and scavenging in search of beautiful relics, absconding with them, and descending the mountain to sell the gold figurines on the black market.

In contrast, the Kogi are a humble people who carry the internal strength of their close animal relative, the jaguar. They wear no gold bling and feel no need to “to toot their own horn” like some of us do on Facebook. From a shy social demeanor to their clothing and sexual practices, modesty guides them. Meditating on being honorable replaces any need for punitive laws. Their long held tenets of environmental ecology preceded our own by thousands of years and, extending from it, they developed a related social ecology, what Western psychotherapists might call “systems theory.” Everything on the planet, the Kogi assert, is intricately connected. To tamper with any part, person, or other animal will impact the whole.

The Kogi want to continuously receive messages from the World Consciousness -- aluna . Aluna is described as a cosmic intelligence and a life force by which consciousness creates matter – a tenet of quantum physics that Younger Brother is now first starting to understand. Their meditative minds become aluna . In contemplation they pick up on suffering throughout the world – plants, animals, water, climate, humans that are all talking to them. Above all they “hear” from the Divine Mother who communicates how we are harming Her and, therefore, ourselves.

Interestingly, plant medicines and psychedelic drugs are not used to suddenly enlarge Kogi consciousness, rather that ability must be developed by a person in a disciplined and continuous state of meditation. Yes, the men almost always have a plug of coca leaves under their lip. This, however, should not be confused with cocaine; it is a mere stimulant, much like coffee, and is used to keep their minds alert and their stamina up.

Like receptacles or transducers of cosmic information, in deep continued meditation and divination the Kogi invite “knowings” to come to them – wise guidance on how to live and how to protect Mother and all the creatures residing on Her surface. It is amidst constant reflection that this transduction and interpretation occurs -- how messages are absorbed and the future is foretold.

Like the proverbial “canary in a coal mine,” the Kogi on their mountain top (called the “Heart of the World”) sense Mother’s pulsing life force and Her warnings. Both of these animal relatives can portend unhealthy environments and death. The Kogi are aware of the mining, drilling, and mineral extraction going on everywhere below. They see us, the Younger Brother, greedily chasing technologies and busily accumulating money so we can purchase more and more things. So, it is the mission of the Elder Brothers to be 1) guardians of Earth and 2) guardians of profound knowledge garnered through contact with aluna .

As Younger Brothers we have technologies that remove us from direct contact with Earth and the World Consciousness. When we turn on our technologies we turn off our minds as well as our ability to communicate effectively with all life forms. Our constant companion – noise -- interrupts the inflow of energetic information and disrupts discourse with aluna .

Sensing this, the Kogi tribe wants to inspire a major ethical revolution throughout the world. We must evolve from current patterns of insatiable consuming and possessing to a simpler life of peace, responsibility, reciprocity (including making regular offerings to Mother), and complementarity (men and women living in balance, understanding each gender’s sacred functions). This is the only way we can survive, otherwise Mother will have to throw many of us off her belly by way of pandemics and global warming.

When the Kogi quietly walk down the mountain to the ocean for sea shells that are used to make lime for their meditations sticks ( poporos , the symbol of a man) they eventually see Younger Brother carrying technological devices. The gadgetry is compared to distracting moths or mosquitos that must be constantly swept aside, being regarded as obstacles to direct and unbroken engagement with Mother. They don’t need, nor do they want, a technical version of the worldwide web. The Elder Brothers have elevated mental powers to a degree by which they have come to know people everywhere without using smartphones, emails, or physical travel. But today, by inviting me to their homeland, the Kogi reluctantly recognize the only way to reach Younger Brother is by way of modern Younger Brother messaging methods. That was my assignment, to help spread their message via the media, from books to Zoom.

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When the Kogi walk on Mother, literally they walk in the footsteps of their ancestors. This is very similar to grizzly bears in the gigantic Khutzeymateen Sanctuary of British Columbia who, during their seasonal migrations, literally step in the same deep imprints of traveling bears from hundreds of years ago. Each step is a meditation of sorts, a familiar and comforting connection to other bears and, presumably, a link to their ancient history as well. For the indigenous Kogi tribe, hiking the trails of the Sierra Nevada Mountains, is a somewhat similar trance-inducing experience. By going inward, they go outward. By protecting Mother, they are protected.

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With peripheral vision, the mama can read an individual’s body language like a book; in a way it is a form of speech -- a language of its own. Each person’s bodily movements are reflective of their attitudes, carried experiences, and strength of character. Before meeting me in a physical way, the community mama divined who I was beforehand and never looked directly at me upon my arrival. Yet he concluded, “This man has an evolved energy.” Very humbly, I accepted his discernment and vowed not to let him down.

Wellbeing, to them, is a state of harmony and they look for it in others. Contentment has nothing to do with ownership, possessions, or having a dominant presence. While men, led by mamas , reflect a male power structure and policing authority, women are the somewhat superior sacred ones who unobtrusively carry Mother Earth’s fecund powers inside them. The men believe that just as we honor the Great Mother, all of us must also honor the women around us – Mother spirits residing right here in the middle world, in our midst, in our homes. And there are extensions of Her spirit in all that exists on the surface of this Earth. We are in our essence, quite simply, Mother in human form.

Even minerals, including a meditation bead-like stone called a tuma , hold spirits. They are all parts of Mother. A mama , by putting a tuma in a divination bowl of water, awaits a clear message from Mother. This was the mama’s way of becoming acquainted with me. Getting clearance on my spirit, I was asked to kneel before a large well-hidden relic. Next I was asked to speak to the tuma , infusing my spirit into it which, in turn, was placed in a fissure of the larger rock relic that preserved knowledge like a book, my thoughts being added to the mix. The mama’s intent was to merge my best intentions (spirit) with those of the ancient ancestors preceding today’s Kogi. Once connected by thought, I would merge with the ancestors and today’s Elder Brothers, united in a cosmology upholding the shared beliefs of sacred preservation. Then, facing two mountain peaks, the mama and I stood and sang in an ancient language to the ancestors.

The world remains wondrous and mysterious, and the Kogi are exemplars of this phenomenon. Entering their territory I saw more than a foreign culture, I witnessed sentient vestiges of an ancient humanity -- a people who have never broken their conscious connection with the quantum realm. They have stayed entangled with the Vast Self while remaining protectively remote from the modern world with its narrowly focused consumptive habits and its fear-based penchant to be distracted by noise, gadgetry, and technological “communication.”

In comparison, the Kogi have chosen to foster silence, go inward, focus deeply, and stay coupled with the primal creative and sustaining power of Mother, to live in reciprocity with Her much like humans who want to remain close to their most recent birth mother. Their credo: broken concentration results in a broken connection with Mother and a premature death.

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The founder of Western psychology, William James wrote: “It takes a mind debauched by learning to carry the process of making the natural seem strange.”

[In preparing this article I am reminded of another indigenous jaguar culture in the Ecuadorian Amazon. There lived a powerful shaman who dreamed of two warring brothers he called USA and Russia, who selfishly fought for land, power, prestige, and wealth while heartlessly destroying everything in their path. The recent Ukrainian invasion is but one more iteration of this audacity.]

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MDMA and Polyvagal-Informed Therapy, part 1 of 4

Sun, 06 Mar 2022 21:34:00 GMT

Often intense stress and fear (trauma) gets lodged in our bodies. Some therapists refer to this as a body memory or a cellular memory.

As long as the body hangs on to the trauma, your psychology will hang on too. Consequently, it is important to know how to release this anchor so you can gently drift away to a better emotional location. Research grade MDMA has helped many accomplish this task.

MDMA & POLYVAGAL THEORY, PART I

To assist the medicinal process it is helpful to know a good deal about the nervous system and various brain regions. This handout focuses on one of many important body systems involved in maintaining and releasing trauma, the polyvagal system .

When trauma leaves us feeling out of control it is often a system wide sensation of hyperarousal. The vagus – the tenth cranial nerve -- is implicated in an automated reaction to stress and triggering events. It keeps us cycling through emotional and physical upset. We refer to this roller coaster process as dysregulation ; when someone has difficulty regulating and resetting their brain, nervous system, and even body organ processes (i.e., irritable bowels, rapid heart rate, irregular breathing, etc.).

Understanding the neurology of trauma takes us from feeling “crazy” to merely having a dysregulated system. No need for blame or shame. What was once perceived, almost exclusively, as a weak emotional reaction located in our personality has actually taken residence in our autonomic nervous system . The old axiom, “what goes up, will come down,” is befitting when attempting to understand this process. Psychologists call these ups and downs pendulations -- when patients detect the ebbs and flow of their internal processes.

So how can we interrupt this habituated and automated internal system? Let’s focus on few very simple techniques that can re-regulate this system, sometimes in just seconds or minutes: singing, drumming, humming, chanting, and the use of Tibetan singing bowls. All can change the vibration pattern in the nervous system.

Choral singing and chanting are used in every culture to unite and heal people. These activities, especially the creation of low belly tones, impact the vagus nerve, as well as the gut, lungs, chest, throat, and mouth.

The sounds open and expand the viscera and diaphragm by creating new vibrations. They provide alternate sensory signals that can quiet down an overstimulated nervous system.

Drumming refocuses the mind, whether a person is doing it, or simply listening to it. It also reregulates internal vibrations – or energy movement – in the body. If a thought can cause us to momentarily “spin out,” the sound of a drum can more dramatically change our mind, disrupting our ruminative (hanging on) process.

Tibetan singing bowls, particularly large crystal bowls, can send comforting waves of deep sounds that almost immediately calm the vagus nerve system and alter brain wave activity to deeply relaxing alpha waves. No drugs are needed.

Peter Levine, a psychologist who has worked closely with vets diagnosed with PTSD, noted how certain tones are particularly helpful. One of them occurs when we make the sound of vooo (soft o , like ou in you ), as if we are a foghorn. Do this while exhaling, concentrating on the vibrations starting in the belly and moving upward through the chest, throat, mouth, and even being felt on the lips. Repeating this sound while alone, or better still in the company of others, releases tension with each exhalation.

The primary function of these techniques is to disrupt an autonomic/automatic fear response in the body. No longer does it have to feel like the body is betraying us, we simply need to team up with our body to reregulate it each time things seem to be going array. If victimization is about the loss of power over our life and our body, these techniques are about empowerment.

Drumming, singing, and humming are integral parts of a daily meditation regimen and are especially important the week before, and right after, an MDMA treatment. With new vibrations that bring bodily feelings and sensations alive, and with greater clarity in our thinking, growth beyond trauma is expedited.

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MDMA and Polyvagal-Informed Therapy, part 2 of 4

Sat, 05 Mar 2022 21:59:28 GMT

If you have been harmed by trauma understanding polyvagal theory will very likely assist and expedite your recovery process.

Not only can it enhance your ability to stabilize emotions but, as a result, it can help to develop more satisfying social relationships while enhancing your self-esteem.

MDMA & POLYVAGAL THEORY, PART II

After a series of three MDMA treatments most people note how their nervous system has calmed down, and with it, associated fears and previously unregulated emotions. Yet, there are additional ways to calm your nervous system and the notorious culprit, the vagus nerve . To start, one must get beyond all the confusing medical jargon that stands in the way of understand your nervous system pathways and how you can respond to and regulate them, not just react.

In this second blog, I’m going to significantly simplify polyvagal theory so this essential piece of recovery information becomes more understandable and therefore more accessible.

First , the vagus nerve is not a single nerve; it is a “family” of neural pathways extending throughout the body reaching many organs. Sensory information travels from various regions of the body to the brain and back down again on this pathway. It is an up-down, and two way, communication system.

Second , think of it as a hypersensitive alarm system that runs 24/7 below conscious awareness. It can, with very little advance warning, easily go out of control ( dysregulation ) in many people because of trauma and/or a hereditary susceptibility to excitability. Much of this out-of-balance activity goes on under the radar because this system is automatic. It is not as simple as being about your character and often has little to do with choice. It is about an internal “smoke detector” that goes off too easily.

Third , this bi-directional pathway can suddenly influence your body, then your mind, and will color and distort your perceptions of the world. Both physiology and psychology are affected. Commonly, this will cause a person to be hypervigilant, looking for angry faces and social cues of threat or rejection. There will be a blameless predisposition to confuse meaningful cues with trivial ones, exaggerating the meaning of some, all of which can lead to depression, anxiety, fearfulness, rage, social isolation, and minimal self-compassion.

Fourth , your heart – considered to be the middle brain – is intimately involved in this process along with various other body organs. Your vagal tone (status of reactivity) can be measured by what is called heart rate variability (HRV). While your heart rate measures beats per minute, HRV measures the variability in time between each heartbeat. A high level of variability tells you the region around the central vagus pathway is active and actually results in a more flexible autonomic nervous system, one that help a person adjust to the ups and downs of a stressful life.

Fifth , when heartbeat suddenly picks up it can feel like the onset of a panic attack. Then your body immediately mobilizes by fueling itself with adrenaline and cortisol. No longer will you want social contact or connection. Rather, safety and survival becomes the immediate need. When perceived danger seems inescapable, the system can go offline. The primitive lower (emotional) brain will rule and the smart thinking frontal lobe (impulse control system) shuts down. Often there is no actual danger present, but the intense feeling of fear makes people go looking for it. Then they seem to find it and go into protective mode.

Sixth , when flooded by protective energy and feeling overwhelmed a person may dissociate or disassociate . When we dissociate we “numb out” or “punch out” mentally while remaining physically present. This is a natural human mechanism for protection operative from childhood on. Disassociation is a slightly more conscious choice, when we separate from people, even those we love, because at the moment they, along with most everyone else, appear to pose a serious threat.

Seventh , this dysregulated state reveals a momentary scanning and cueing malfunction of the autonomic (involuntary) nervous system . Psychologists call the process of assessing stimuli for safety or dangerousness, neuroception . It implies physiological events are happening below the realm of conscious awareness and they need to reach greater awareness so we can regain control of the system. A person will want to mindfully become more cognizant of subtle signs (previously missed) immediately before the internal surveillance system goes offline. The goal is to better read and interpret early body cues and more accurately determine threat potential. Inserting a conscious pause, along with a quick body scan, provides a window of opportunity to intervene and gently resume control of the nervous system, which is likely the real problem. It’s your neurology not your psychology. The former is the cause, the latter is but a symptom.

Eighth , assess physical reactions (positive and negative) felt mostly on the inside and below the brain (e.g., blushing, stiffening posture, warmth in the heart, alterations in breathing, sweating, stomach and intestinal irritability “gut reactions”, dry throat, as well as facial patterns like frowning, glaring, and/or smiling). Then, while being increasingly conscious and alert to the emotional and mental shifts that are starting to occur ( dysregulation ), it is slightly easier to keep reactivity under control.

Ninth , to increase awareness and resiliency -- two big recovery goals – a variety of treatments have been proven effective. They include a) Alpha-stim electrical stimulation of the lower brain, which can be self-administered to almost immediately slow everything down, b) stellate ganglia block (SGB) a medicine injected in the neck to deactivate a hypersensitive alert system, c) traumasensitive yoga to increase body awareness and mastery, d) regular aerobic exercise to alter internal energy and activate natural body calming chemicals, e) amino acid, herbal, and probiotic supplements (e.g., L-theanine, valerian root, GABA, passion flower, etc.), f) clinical empathogen or psychedelic treatments (e.g., clinical grade MDMA with associated psychotherapy, or carefully selected and administered psilocybin), g) neuropsychological computerized brain training devices, and h) psychotherapy with someone grounded in polyvagal theory.

Once popular abreactive therapies (vent your hate and rage) likely increase dysregulation, and EMDR (a distraction or partial dissociation approach), may not address this phenomenon at its nervous system core. These interventions feel good in the moment, but the underlying physiology may remain unchanged.

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“Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows.”

- Native American Proverb

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”

- Nathaniel Branden, self-esteem psychologist

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Additional Reading: Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection: 50 Client-Centered Practices by Deb Danna Footer

MDMA and Polyvagal-Informed Therapy, part 3 of 4

Sat, 05 Mar 2022 21:59:23 GMT

When consideration is given to the effects of research grade MDMA the literature is replete with examples of increased empathy, a heart softness, warmth, strengthened bonds, and compassion.

This article briefly touches on how MDMA, by enhancing compassion toward self and others, quiets and smooths out the vagus nerve network.

MDMA & POLYVAGAL THEORY, PART III

Think of the vagus nerve as functioning much like the frontal lobe of the brain, both are braking systems for impulse control, particularly aggressive urges. The more the braking system is activated in a gentle restraining way, the more relaxed you feel; it slows the heart, relaxes abdominal muscles, and loosens the larnyx. This quieting activity, which can be enhanced by MDMA, sends signals bodywide that the environment is safe, there is no emergency, which then allows you to focus on preferred thoughts and activities, and subsequently increases your creativity too. Relaxed vagal tone (anchoring activity of the ventral vagus ) guards us from the harmful effects of stress constriction, and anxiety – whether social or neurological in origin -- thereby serving as a physical health protector, a buffer of sorts against bodily wear and tear resulting from chronic, strong negative emotions.

Jennifer Stellar, of the University of Toronto, was among the first researchers to show the strong link between compassion and vagal tone. When her subjects were induced to feel compassion by showing them images of people in distress and in need of help, the amount of compassion felt was directly tied to vagal activity: those who felt compassion had an elevated vagal tone. In other words, compassionate regard for others calmed down the vagus nerve system.

Taking it another step, Karen Bluth of the University of North Carolina predicted and proved that the tendency toward being self-compassionate strongly predicted a reduced stress response, and with it, an improved sense of well-being. Those who had the ability to forgive themselves for perceived stumbles, or what some call “mistakes,” engaged in less self-criticism, and as a result, experienced less stress as measured by their cardiac and hormonal responses.

So whether a person feels compassion toward others or themselves, vagal tone can improve, with associated recuperative powers for mental and physical health.

Scared people pull inward; they socially withdraw. Compassion – whether witnessing the need for it, engaging in the practice, imagining you are warmly comforting someone else, restorying your trauma in gentler language, or simply reading compassionate words – helps us transcend self, allowing us to safely risk social engagement and thereby assuage loneliness. When experiencing the ventral vagal state of safety we create a platform for compassion. But the reverse is also true: feeling or imagining compassion gets us to an emotional state of s helter. Held in the embrace of a relaxed and regulated nervous system, you can better see and understand another person’s plight, and then as Quakers say, “hold them in the light.” By practicing mindful regulation of these states they are strengthened and create new neuronal pathways – carving deeper grooves. Then we are less likely to be disrupted by sudden fears or stressors, whether perceived or real.

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“Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back.”

- Plato

“If there is a feeling change, there is an autonomic change.”

- Stephen Porges

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Additional Reading: The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe by Stephen Porges

MDMA and Polyvagal-Informed Therapy, part 4 of 4

Sat, 05 Mar 2022 21:59:12 GMT

Much of what has been written about the vagus nervous system seems like scientific gobblygook.

I acknowledge there is a lot of good stuff hidden therein but, with all the complex medical terminology, one almost needs to learn an entirely new vocabulary to extract useful information.

MDMA & POLYVAGAL THEORY, PART IV

But, thankfully, along came Amy Banks, M.D., a psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School who wrote a marvelous book, Four Ways to Click , which makes relational neurology much more understandable. By introducing readers to the concept of a smart vagus , she is really saying individuals can train themselves to get out of the grip of a primitive brain response – from automatic fear mode to a social competency mode.

We know MDMA can help people reduce their social anxiety. With a smart (er) vagus nerve onboard one is further protected from the residual high stress and lack of safety many people still feel as a result of a life of cumulative felt rejections, social exclusion, a lack of soothing from unresponsive acquaintances, and interpersonal or environmental trauma.

Accurately seeing, hearing, and interpreting other people’s facial expressions or voice tone can be puzzling and frightening for individuals who long ago had a link established between subtle forms of communication and the stimulation of their internal fear sensors. Chronically misinterpreting facial expressions and the sound of a person’s voice is a safety issue many trauma victims frequently experience, commonly when no real danger exists. That occurs when vagal tone has vacillated. To counter a flawed autonomic response a smart vagus is essential.

The smart vagus – arising from the tenth cranial nerve at the base of the skull – is linked to some of the muscles of facial expression, speech, and hearing. An operationally smart vagus is the difference between relying on the innate primitive/reptilian part of the brain and a much more discerning and practiced brain -- one that with the help of mirror neurons reads the threat of danger more precisely thereby opening doors for more comfortable and rewarding social relationships.

The smart vagus provides good vagal tone. It can smooth out previous instantaneous social reactions (e.g., glaring, sudden social exits, or emotional meltdowns) thereby allowing human relationships to feel less threatening and become more comforting.

Repeatedly, trauma victims have demonstrated a facet of their personalities that were never consciously challenged. Historically they have been easily threatened after misreading facial cues or the tone of a person’s voice. A stranger’s welcoming smile and a “hello” can quickly derail a person when their vagus nerve system goes on immediate high alert and says, “She is mocking me! She is judging me!”

This can be caused by developmental deficits in the presence of parents who were unresponsive to pleas for attention and didn’t soothe their children with touch and warm eye contact when they cried or communicated distress in some other way. It could also be the result of a life than unfolded amidst chaotic, disconnected, and frightening life experiences – from parental neglect and rejection, to childhood abuse or environmental calamities. Early on the vagus system learned to stay on “high alert,” having to suddenly figure out on one’s own, and without helpful adult feedback, who was safe and who was not. Too often the majority of people mistakenly were placed into the latter category, tainting the potential for satisfying social relationships thereafter.

Interestingly, the pain of social rejection comes to feel like real physical pain located in discrete parts of our body. More specifically, a tiny region of the brain’s prefrontal region – an overactive dorsal anterior cingulate cortex (dACC) – was long thought to have the singular duty of alerting us to the discomfort of physical pain so we could quickly pull back and protect ourselves. Now, with the help of brain scans, we see how the pain of feeling pinched or hit lights up this area of the brain. But there is also this conclusion: the discomfort of social rejection (real or misperceived) lights up the very same area causing sensations of emotional and physical pain! Trauma patients – including those who were emotionally neglected and/or abused -- have this brain response which makes the vagus system’s body wide alarm system way too sensitive -- too quick to go off. Consequently, there can be a hasty assessment, and subsequent overreaction, to sensed social rebuff.

Banks encourages the development of improved watchfulness, understanding, and a more precise response to people’s facial looks and communications – a smart vagus . This can entail inserting a brief pause after being emotionally triggered. Mindfully postpone the fight or flight response and consider, albeit briefly, if you are in an old and involuntary emotional mode, or if you are thinking prudently.

If you know and generally feel safe with the triggering person, ask for some clarification. You can employ a variation of the Rogerian “active listening” technique and ask them for feedback if you are interpreting things correctly, like mustering the courage to ask, “Were you just smiling at me or smirking? Was your laughter intended to be sarcastic?”

Some patients practice “smile sharing” with their therapist or another safe person, just a few seconds of deliberate and direct eye contact (even during MDMA sessions) to decelerate reactivity and settle into safety. Other facial expressions can be practiced too. Then verbally label what is seen. By doing so, you practice separating the image from an assumed and absolute reality. You can move from an implicit memory (unremembered childhood memory, perhaps a cellular reflexive response) to an explicit memory (actual conscious recall of a real event, a validated truth). What’s important is not to make too many judgments without facts in hand.

How quickly a person attempts to regulate themselves after feeling dysregulated is a victory in itself. It says, “I’m no longer going to operate exclusively on instinct (incomplete programming) any longer. I deserve better from myself.” This may entail various forms of passive and active meditation, done regularly.

When the frontal cortex is consciously calmed, a message is automatically sent to the emotional center of the brain ( deep limbic system ) saying, “You can now relax and go off duty; you are safe.” This reflects volition, having chosen to decide what to do with automatic system malfunction and “right the ship.” Done often enough, neuroplasticity occurs. In essence, you are acting your way into a new way of feeling and being, and into more rewarding relationships as well. Voila, you have developed the competency of a smart vagus !

This healing approach originated in relational neuroscience . And recall, MDMA is a relational medicine . So a case can be made not only for using the medicine to calm the vagus nervous system, but accompanying psychotherapy can assist in resetting the brain to a less adulterated and sticky state.

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“Relationships are not simply ‘the icing on the cake’ for a life well lived. Relationships are the cake.”

- Amy Banks

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Additional Reading: Four Ways to Click: Rewire Your Brain for Stronger, More Rewarding Relationships by Amy Banks, M.D. (strongly recommended)

Recommended Technology: Alpha-stim brain stimulator

Nootropics

Fri, 04 Mar 2022 02:15:02 GMT

Nootropics can be defined as cognitive-enhancing substances that can improve efficiency of thinking and mood. Some of them are called smart drugs (as seen on TV) which are often used to treat individuals suffering from neurological disorders or frustrated with their brain’s performance.

Attempts at pharmacological enhancement of cognition – improved mental performance, heightened alertness, better memory, and increased motivation – are experiencing growing popularity, but they do have a downside.

Smart drugs (including most psychotropic antidepressants) adjust and diminish the way the brain naturally produces and processes neurotransmitters. In response the brain does its job which is to compensate for synthetically stimulated changes in neurotransmitter activity, attempting to correct the unnatural state and return operations to normal.

It is as if our amazing brain endeavors to outsmart our attempts to pharmacologically outsmart it! The brain is always trying to recalibrate itself after artificial tampering, trying to return to the original state of neurochemical balance.

A second kind of nootropics are natural: smart plants, omega-3 fats, amino acids, supplements, and spices. Natural nootropics:

Are highly neuroprotective; they preserve nerve cells from damage and degeneration.
Optimize cognitive performance by bolstering the health of the brain and the body.
Boost memory, motivation, mood, attention, learning ability, and thought flow.
Increase intelligence over time.

Some super plant foods (including herbs) are called adaptogens . They restore the body’s natural balance after high stress, which can include psychological trauma. Smart plant adaptogen formulations (like Swanson’s product #SW 1095) include:

Ashwagandha – antianxiety benefits, improves mood, balances the stress hormones cortisol and insulin, sooths nervous exhaustion, clears up cloudy thinking, diminishes stress-induced insomnia, aids memory, focus, and concentration.
Rhodiola – energizes mind and body (reduces fatigue), increases stamina, antidepressant qualities, improves focus and motivation.
Reishi and Lion’s Mane mushrooms – may help treat neurogenerative diseases, exceptionally neuroprotective, increases neuroplasticity and neurogenesis, helps with sleep disorders, decreases depression and anxiety; improves learning, memory, and attention; supports overall cognitive function.
Schisandra berry - helps with sleep duration improves memory by modulating acetylcholine neurotransmitter levels, promotes calm, boosts attention and work performance, neuroprotective.
Goji berries (wolfberry) – improves learning and memory, increases feelings of well-being, protects the brain and the blood-brain barrier from excitotoxicity (cell die off), promotes neurogenesis.
Purple berries – loaded with flavonoids, they improve problem solving and memory, have highly neuroprotective and antiaging benefits, help with fluidity of thought, improve coordination and balance, increase alertness and focus, and enhance potential for neurogenesis (growth and development of nervous tissue).
Suma root – helps rebound from stress and prevents cell damage body wide.
Panax (Korean) ginseng – antidepressant qualities, cognition booster, increases mental reaction time, reduces mental fatigue/exhaustion.
Astragulus – reduces symptoms of mental and physical fatigue, and reduces inflammation.
Dong Quai Root – relieves fatigue and boosts energy.

Omega-3-fats include:

Fish oil with DHA and EPA.
Hemp seeds/oil , chia seeds, flax seeds/oil.
Nuts , especially walnuts, pecans.
Leafy greens .
Avocados .
Olives and olive oil.
Seafoods such as arctic char, salmon, halibut, herring, tuna, sardines.

Amino acids (brain food, 22 in total):

Tryptophan , including 5-HTP – calmative, sleep aid, and antidepressant.
L-theanine – calmative without sedation (like matcha, it is made from green tea leaves; works in tandem with GABA).
GABA – an antianxiety neurotransmitter that can increase mental focus.
L-tyrosine -- can improve concentration, has antidepressant qualities.

Vitamins & Minerals (from foods and/or supplements):

Zinc – deficiencies in zinc have been strongly linked to the prevalence of depression, anxiety, irritability, and various mood and eating disorders.

Magnesium - this mineral has neuroprotective qualities, helps calm, treats insomnia, slows down the body’s stress response, antidepressant qualities.

Vitamin D (more closely related to a steroid hormone than a vitamin) – works in tandem with magnesium and can serve as an anti-inflammatory, helps with brain healing, and may have antidepressant qualities.

Choline (in the B-vitamin family) – boosts overall brain functioning, eases anxiety, helps with the production of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, thereby aiding memory.

B-1 (thiamine) – helps produce acetylcholine which is critical for memory and focus.

B-3 (niacin & niacinamide) – helps with the production of acetylcholine, mental agility, cognition, and neuroplasticity.

B-5 (pantothenic acid) – enhances memory and recall, concentration, learning, and overall mental clarity. Works in tandem with omega-3 and other related fatty acids assisting in overall cellular energy.

B-6 (pyridoxine) – helps produce many of the 100+ neurotransmitters including natural forms of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. Helps your body make melatonin which may aid sleep, and fights depression and anxiety.

B-8 (inositol) – often sold in tandem with choline it is known to boost serotonin levels, can ease anxiety, and heightens mental stamina while helping thoughts flow more easily.

B-9 (folate) – helps with the production of dopamine, epinephrine, norepinephrine, and serotonin plus helps metabolize amino acids.

B-12 (cobalamin) – deficiencies of this vitamin have been correlated with mental lethargy, brain fog, poor sleep, lack of motivation, and depression.

Probiotics – almost all mental health issues originate in the lower brain (gut) where your antidepressant and mood enhancing, antianxiety, pain reducing, “medicines” are made and distributed to the upper brain. Perhaps the most important supplement for your mental health.

Spices:

Turmeric/curcumin (with black pepper) – reduces brain inflammation thereby inhibiting depression, improves memory, and delays aging.
Cinnamon – enhances cognition, recognition-oriented memory and beneficial effects on neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.
Ginger – contains zerumbone which may prevent brain tumors, inhibits inflammatory responses, improves reaction time, and working memory.
Rosemary – may promote mild memory improvement.
Black pepper – helps overall brain functioning and clear thinking, is a mild antidepressant and works in tandem with turmeric.

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Psychology’s Disorders from an Indigenous Perspective

Thu, 03 Mar 2022 23:26:32 GMT

Sometimes we get so busy diagnosing, labeling, and categorizing patients who make us uncomfortable that we don’t have time to look into the mirror and self-examine.

While physicians talk about disease categories – like hardening of the arteries – psychiatrists and psychologists have stopped short of acknowledging their longstanding habit that I call hardening of the categories.

One evening in Montana, just before entering an Ojibwa sweat lodge, a Native American made reference to Lakota heyokas . He told me they were men who spoke and moved in opposite fashion to those around them. Often heyokas were referred to as sacred clowns who used satire and outlandish humor to call attention to important matters – often issues of community ethics and morality. There unique approach stood out from the norm and, in contrarian fashion, challenged even the most sacred members and activities in the tribe. Sacred ceremonies were often ensconced in laughter, and even profanity, always designed to wake people up and challenge them to think differently.

Many Americans were introduced to heyokas via the western television drama, “Longmire.” The local sheriff was savvy to this sideways or reverse way of communicating. So when an elder Native American saddled up backwards and rode up to Sherriff Walt Longmire’s home, it became obvious that an important, although somewhat disguised message, was about to be delivered.

Trained in psychology, I can’t help but wonder if we have lost all our tolerance for

humanity’s different ways of being? Is everything a disorder, disease, or

dysfunction? Must the divergent be contained, drugged, hospitalized, or made

illegal by health care professionals and politicians so as to calm our anxiety. Have

we run out of “normality” with the availability of hundreds of psychiatric labels

that can be assigned to unique ways of being on this planet?

Fortunately Sherriff Longmire, and most Native Americans, understand that

unconventional ways of announcing social problems are often necessary to

command attention. So, it behooves us to learn more about mavericks and

heyokas , decoding or even amplifying their clarion calls of discomfort when and

where it is appropriate.

In the history of psychology and psychiatry we have known our version of attention getters who sometimes came across as odd or strident, but rode into town with some brilliance. Take Thomas Szasz, R.D. Laing, or Jeffrey Masson as examples. In Against Therapy – a challenging book that attacked some of the very foundational principles of psychology – the forward’s first sentence read: “Jeffrey Masson is a troublemaker. Every one of his books has been written to create trouble.” High praise, wouldn’t you say?

In Imagine Ourselves Richly , Christopher Vecsey, director of Native American Studies at Colgate University, beautifully and thoroughly describes the mythography of sacred clowns ( heyokas ) among the Hopi. At sacred ceremonies the clowns dance backwards, stand on their heads, use inverted speech, or say the opposite of what they mean. They often act incompetent, irreverent, indecent, and will do “politically incorrect” things like ridicule the handicapped, widows, orphans, and visiting priests. They satirize personal and group foibles. Sacred clowns can be excessive, loud, rowdy, sexually lewd, coming across as unbridled eccentrics and individualists when, in fact, their concealed role is the preservation of Hopi society.

So why engage in such outlandish and unappealing ways? To get attention is why! To remind people of how they routinely fall out of healthy ways of conduct. By breaching norms and doing the forbidden – always couched in humor – sacred clowns reveal the ridiculousness and inappropriateness seen in the periodic lapses in community behavior.

Humor drops defenses which opens people up for insights and revelations.

In this manner, the clown’s slyly hold up a figurative mirror which allows messages implying the need for community correction to be digested. By being so bizarre and outrageous, the slightly removed audience, in contrast, can feel somewhat elevated and thereby be more inclined to “clean up their act.”

When people, like mental health professionals, take themselves too seriously and are disinclined to reflect on their laughable (and occasionally harmful) ways, change and growth may be unlikely. Trickster clowns deliberately expose the incongruities between the images of the ideal and the humbling exposure of an often flawed system. They work within the system, defying order and demonstrating exaggerated flexibility, using this approach recognizing subtlety is usually not enough to challenge established hubris and evoke change. By being seriously ridiculous, they attack rigidity, like the propensity for hardening of the categories .

Vecsey wrote: “Hopi clowns act as physicians, therapists for personality, ritual, and society, integrating diverse elements through ribaldry. On an anthropological level, they attack the restrictions and repressions of ordinary society. They personify vitality attacking rigidity. They are the epitome of freedom in a community-minded tribal society, calling into question cultural categories.”

Like Laing, Szasz, and Masson, the Hopi sacred clowns are skeptics and cynics at their best. All three were painfully sensitive and had empathy for the bewildered, misunderstood, judged, and downtrodden. Laing was said to have maintained his defiant personality until his last breath which, as family put it, was the only circumstance under which he would consider a career change. His mission was that important to him.

“Like Freud,” Masson wrote, “…many psychiatrists and psychologists begin their career believing that they are in possession of a special truth.” Hubris rarely fosters deep human connection. However, as most indigenous healers assert, healing -- whether it be from physical or emotional maladies -- is most profound when embedded in relationships of humility and equality. When one person changes, the another walks with them; healing is a community act, a sacred contract.

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Trauma and Kintsugi

Fri, 21 Jan 2022 01:43:19 GMT

Painful life events can cause us to either breakdown or breakthrough . That is one of the messages of the ancient Japanese art of kintsugi (golden joinery).

It is the skill of repairing broken ceramic vessels with gold to make then stronger and more beautiful, especially at the cracks where they were visibly broken open. Those part are accentuated.

Too often the Western conceptualization of trauma -- with the help of trauma informed care, particularly the PTSD paradigm -- can convince people that, as a result of painful life experiences, lasting and irreparable harm has been done to them. Conventional psychology has often operated under what I call the “Humpty Dumpty Rule.” It goes like this: “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s shrinks couldn’t put Humpty together again.”

The art of kintsugi symbolizes how renewal is possible. And once a piece of pottery is repaired – much like a fractured bone – it can become stronger at the broken places. Kintsugi epitomizes the importance of embracing our perceived flaws. And this art form further suggests that instead of restoring something or someone to its past form, it actually highlights the recent scars. The scarring actually becomes part of a new design, something beautiful and very unique. Seeing a piece of pottery restored with golden veins filling in the cracks serves as a lasting reminder of perseverance and resilience.

Kintsugi is also a psychotherapeutic metaphor for the way in which we can reframe hardships. It serves as an aide-me’moire that we are far more than victims of past circumstances. In fact, it further suggests we won’t realize our full potential until we go through difficult times.

Kintsugi reflects and reveals how we can come out the other side after trauma feeling stronger than before, what positive psychology therapists call post-traumatic growth (PTG).

Trauma recovery starts by imagining the veins of gold that flow through you and can add to your beauty and strength. The Kogi tribe of Colombia believe gold is the blood that flows through Mother Earth, the Creator that South American tribes refer to as Pachamama. Historically, they made beautiful artifacts from Her gold, only to return the items to Mother’s belly as gifts of art, acts of reciprocity.

The message of kintsugi therapy (made that term up) is to envision yourself as constantly unfolding into new and improved forms. It is about celebrating imperfections that originated in emotional pain. It is also about a mindset that finds opportunities for growth everywhere. Kintsugi can shift your worldview from striving for an impossible ideal (think of eating disorders, or body dysmorphia) to a more positive, accepting, and strength-based view of yourself. This approach exploits challenges for future benefits. Strength arising from within becomes more powerful than anything negative that has happened to us.

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“Clay is molded to make a pot

but it is the space where there is nothing

that the usefulness of the clay pot lies.

Cut out doors and windows to make a room,

but it is in the spaces where there is nothing

that the usefulness of the room lies.”

- Lao Tzu

“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

- Leonard Cohen

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MDMA Ceremony and Ritual: What's that all about?

Wed, 19 Jan 2022 23:35:28 GMT

In FDA clinical trials, the medicine is often administered in a slightly mechanical fashion. The approach is very similar, patient to patient.

But always you will don an eye mask, put head phones on, and an attendant will sit next to you and offer a comforting hand, after which you swallow a capsule of 125 mg pure, research grade MDMA.

When an indigenous-influenced approach is used (some call it shamanic ) there is more pomp, pageantry, theatre, and solemnity over the entire day of ceremony. Within the over-arching ceremony some highly stylized activities occur, what we call rituals.

The ceremony suggests this is not an average day, not a normal event. The rituals, which are often traditional or even ancient in nature, are like guideposts that lead and transport you along a well-traveled path. Ceremony implies what is happening is a “big deal.” Rituals provide the “how to” part of the change process. Together they marry to manifest a sacredness, a sacrality, to what is occurring. Ceremony and ritual create a protective shell, or an exoskeleton, that safely carries you through what otherwise could be imagined as a foreboding healing process.

So, it can be concluded that clinical settings offer safety and professionalism. Indigenous ceremonies and rituals are similar, but they are embedded in age-old processes and are far more personalized. And Indigenous-based approaches are experiential, patients help develop and implement large parts of the treatment’s style, spirit, and organization adding individual meaning to the event (ceremony) and to the activities in them (rituals). In other words, with patient participation, there is more “buy-in” and, therefore, a greater chance of the desired outcome. Along with the therapist they become choreographers and carpenters of rituals. Instead of someone else being totally responsible for the outcome of treatment, personal involvement boils down to designing their self-care program. And this is very important, especially after trauma when things were done to you , not for you , not with you . Now you are empowered to care for yourself.

Rituals that include vigorous activity – drumming, singing, dancing, shaking, howling – can dislodge long held body tension and localized cellular memories. This is quite different than just walking into a clinic and laying down. Physical activities play a large part in setting change in motion; passivity does not.

This nugget is worth remembering:

How a treatment is administered -- in other words, how a healing ritual is constructed and conducted – is far more important than the capsule that is swallowed. When you add meaning to the over-arching ceremony, you are on your way.

In one of my earlier works, Ancient Ways: Indigenous Healing Innovations for the 21st Century , I developed a long laundry list of benefits that rituals add to any healing endeavor, a few of which follow: They…

invite participation
stress the importance of the event by adding a sense of the sacred
move us from the ordinary to what is really salient
diminish uncertainty in fearful times
bring order to chaotic times
add trust to what is unfolding
foster entry into altered states
chart a proven course to take
add something experiential to prior words and language
set the stage for the mysterious and the magical
potentiate the power of the medicine
legitimize the ceremony
help to momentarily suspend disbelief by trusting an established procedure.

Examples of rituals within, or after, an MDMA healing ceremony can include:

fire rituals
cleansing baths -- chocolate, floral, herbal, etc.
invoking, or calling in the ancestors (of all types)
smudging with incense or plants
reciprocity rituals, giving to Pachamama before receiving
chanting and dancing
prayer, poetry, or readings
greeting the Seven Directions
arranging an altar
feasting in community

If we go beyond the medicinal, and into the numinous and spiritual, ancient healers have noted how additional dimensions open up and significant change occurs.

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James Roose-Evans, in Passages of the Soul , wrote: “A true ritual will always take one beyond and deeper than words, for words are but symbols of a deeper reality.”

“For the Dagara [West African tribe], ritual is, above all else, the yardstick by which people measure their state of connection with the hidden ancestral realm, with which the entire community is genetically connected.”

- Malidoma Some'

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Additional Reading:

Ritual: Power, Healing, and Community by Malidoma Some'

Wild Rituals: 10 Lessons Animals Teach Us about Connection, Community, and Ourselves by Caitlin O’Connel, Ph.D.

MDMA, Trauma, and Antibiotic Theory

Wed, 19 Jan 2022 19:30:08 GMT

In this article I am going to move into the area of hopeful speculation. Sometimes unusual and challenging hypotheses can lead us toward a much-needed paradigm shift.

And with new thinking, new discoveries can be made. Buckle up for this ride.

Many people seeking relief from relational stress find that “the problem is not the problem.” Marital difficulties, for example, may arise when there is underlying trauma that has never been addressed, trauma that may have arisen outside the relationship, perhaps going as far back as childhood. The notion I am positing is that many unhappy people turn to antidepressants and antianxiety drugs to merely subdue the symptoms of their underlying problem. And both types of medication typically wreak havoc on a person’s sexual libido, mental clarity, and emotional aliveness, which can diminish the opportunity for sexual intimacy with its attendant oxytocin release. They also can undermine good communication and healthy bonding with a safe partner.

Dr. Ben Sassa, a British psychiatrist, drew an analogy between mental health issues and a case of the flu. He likens current psychiatry to general medicine. For example, when someone reports symptoms of a cold or the flu they may be given ibuprofen or a decongestant. In doing so, they lower their body temperature and make breathing easier. Problem solved? Not necessarily. They may be painting over potentially elucidating symptoms, but don’t “kill the bug.” Sassa thinks that psychiatry operates like a palliative care profession, failing to get to the core of things.

Expanding on this analogy, MDMA can be regarded, albeit quite metaphorically, as an antibiotic. It allows a person to kill the bug that created so many longstanding relationship issues (intrapersonal and interpersonal), namely untreated and unresolved core traumas.

Interpersonal trauma usually includes betrayals which diminish trust and ultimately can destroy what once were loving and safe relationships. Resolving the underlying issues with the help of MDMA can selectively rebuild trust, not with unhealthy or dangerous people, but because of improved discernment, a person can pick partners more wisely once previously unexamined relationship patterns are examined and corrected.

What folks both in research settings and the underground are noting is that many individuals, upon receiving MDMA-assisted psychotherapy, have come off, and remain off, their SSRIs and SNRIs that they had relied on for years. The reason is that they just don’t have the symptoms of depression, anxiety, insomnia, and low libido anymore because they don’t have the underlying problem anymore, namely PTSD.

If this sort of reaction could happen on a wide scale, my thinking goes, we could diminish the need for other psychotropic treatments that treat very little while offering many side effects that actually dullen emotions, reduce sex drive, and interfere with bonding possibilities.

Further, MDMA makes you the doctor. It awakens your inner physician. No longer are we under the spell of a paternalistic physician-patient relationship with all its pretense of science and objectivity. This is relational medicine .

So while MDMA is certainly not an antibiotic in the conventional sense, it can get to the root of things and not only eradicate symptoms but an entire set of mental health symptoms born of trauma.

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“Don’t send us your white medicine. We don’t need it. We need medicine that walks.”

- Red Cloud, Oglala Lakota, circa 1868

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MDMA and Cognitive Elasticity

Wed, 19 Jan 2022 05:16:59 GMT

Prior articles have identified regions of the brain involved in the default mode network (DMN). You may recall that below the radar phenomenon is about what happens in the brain when we are thinking when we are not thinking.

Yes, I meant to say that. This is a “dark energy” process when indecorous and unseemly messages are recycled.

The DMN can be a rigid, almost stuck way of experiencing quiet moments – what is called downtime. When we are not busy being distracted by our gadgetry – in other words momentarily unable to avoid underlying emotional issues – we automatically mull over pesky worries and insecurities, much like being stuck in mental mud. This mostly unconscious process is like pushing the “play” and “recycle” buttons to repeatedly listen to “Gerry’s All Time Worst Ruminations” CD. We can even end up ruminating over our ruminating. Can it get any worse?

No wonder we get addicted to any technological or behavioral activity that will keep the DMN from turning on, anything to keep the focus outward, not inward. From this perspective we might think of the Internet as the world’s largest slot machine and the smartphone as the world’s smallest slot machine. These dopamine enhancing addictions, together with the DMN’s proclivity, result in rigid ways of addressing (or better said, not addressing) uncomfortable emotional content. Because we don’t want to know what the DMN thinks about us -- being so heavily laden with guilt, shame, and judgment -- we chose to place our focus almost anywhere else.

A responsive solution is to develop a more flexible mind. And there is much we can do to make ourselves more elastic thinkers. For some people MDMA , ayahuasca, LSD, and psilocybin, can help shift their underlying DMN from rigidity to elasticity – to become more open minded, to see the world and ourselves differently, more positively, more accurately.

What empathogens, plant medicines, and psychedelics can do is interfere with highly entrenched patterns of information flow following trauma.

With the chosen intention of seeing the world differently, while relaxing blindfolded in the dark over a lengthy period of time, devoid of any visual distractions in a quiet location close to Nature, and flooded with chemicals that have a softening and uplifting effect on mood, a medicine like MDMA can encourage more spacious and clear thinking. And that combination of set and setting enables more original ideas to percolate up to the conscious mind gently offering new solutions.

At the same time, the dominant analytical left hemisphere is quieted. It takes a nap while the right hemisphere becomes activated and is allowed to do its thing. Left brain thinking tends to cause us to defend and attack, to flee, to think categorically and with disgust. It narrows the range of possibilities, the remedies that can be applied to our emotional upset. Meanwhile, across the brain’s connecting corpus callosum, with the help of MDMA, the right brain comes online. And with it the ability to consider a wider range of thoughts and solutions than what we have become accustomed to. At the same time it allows us to open up to new ways of relating while entertaining alternate and more positive information about our life situation, including conclusions about traumas we may have endured and attempted to resolve with a limited range of options.

Sometimes language gets in the way of communication. Our left hemisphere has much to say to us believing it has our best interests in mind, usually coming in the form of binary cautions and warnings. But the right hemisphere, once it is MDMA activated, fosters more intuitive, balanced, and nuanced thinking, what many refer to as non-languaged knowings , something quite different than linear and analytical left-brain discourses. The insights come from deep within us, what is commonly referred to as our inner healing intelligence .

And here’s an interesting fact about the left brain’s negativity. Carried with it is a propensity for autonomic rejoinders. In other words, instant, reflexive, and unthinking emotionally fearful reactions to events and people. Good moods, in contrast, don’t come with such a narrow range of automatic reactions. Instead, they encourage a wider range of possibilities. They inspire different relational patterns. In other words, elasticity in our thinking.

Just like negative reactions create a vicious cycle of stuck behaviors, the emergence of positive elastic thinking can be kind of addictive too because it is such a pleasant alternative. Studies show that successfully activating increased cognitive flexibility with its attendant positive moods results in a virtuous cycle in which a better mood and more creative problem-solving reinforce each another. And additional research shows that some MDMA recipients actually experience a shift in their DMN; it develops far more peaceful overtones without a dangerous naivete.

Leonard Mlodinow had this to say in a book on flexible thinking called Elastic : “I hope I have changed the way you think about thinking.”

That is my hope too in what I have written.

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Additional Reading: Transcending Trauma by Geral T. Blanchard

MDMA - Showing Up

Sat, 15 Jan 2022 18:21:08 GMT

“Just when I needed support and guidance the most, someone showed up for me – myself.”

That is a common refrain among people who are seekers and have experienced an MDMA ceremony.

Thereafter, when actively looking for answers, they almost assuredly show up for themselves. It’s not that answers were not there all along, you just may be looking more keenly with stronger hope and optimism in place. And we are doing spiritual work, as Marcela Lobos has written in her first book, Awakening Your Inner Shaman (2021), answers seem to appear when we are confident from experience that the Universe will mirror back to us what we knew all along.

When fear has us in its grip and we marshal the courage to quiet our lives – shut off the TV and “smartphone” and go inside after going outside – an animal messenger delivers an insight, the UPS driver leaves the most perfectly salient book on the front steps, or a child displays a needed ingredient in our spirit – fresh eyes, awe, or playfulness. Spirit shows up through signs that seem to be applauding our faith in the shamanic growth process. But to open the mind to this mystery, the grace of it all, sometimes an altered state can set the stage for possibility.

The mystery of paradox is such that when we are in the dark night of the soul and when we feel utterly alone and despondent, being fully present with the pain can deliver us. That is the way of it! We show up for ourselves rather than routinely and unthinkingly run to the psychiatrist’s office for the next best antidepressant. Many times, more often than not, the answer rests deep within us.

As Lobos suggests, when we do the interior work over time, eventually everything lines up for us to jump through a newfound portal. And there we are on the other side, joined with our bigger Self, the genius that had been close by all along.

As we cried out for a consoling friend, we responded to the call. For many, that is one of the gifts of MDMA assisted psychotherapy.

Victims of trauma are often given to playing small. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking, which instinctively occurs when in the presence of an emotional vampire, who with diminishing judgements sucks the confident spirit right out of us day in and day out. Playing timid and small does not serve us well, the people close to us, nor the world. A life of quiet compliance and dutifulness hides us from our true nature – our best and most capable, bigger Self. But first we must die onto our old self, our self-limiting story first imposed by an insecure parent or partner(s).

Jaguar is a fiercely protective and empowering guardian animal for Amazonian shamans. In the presence of their companion ally – mentally through shapeshifting, or physically in the jungle – they feel compelled to practice alert fearlessness. Jaguar symbolizes our potential awakened strength and can be called upon like an exemplar who can show us how to walk in darkness, within the black places of our soul. This brave relative has the capacity to perceive in the dark, literally with at least six times more illuminating proficiency than humans. And Jaguar, like MDMA, can reset our brain and our soul. That is when we become, as Lobos says, luminous warriors . And, interestingly, others are often inclined to see the radiance before we do. They are drawn to it, to us, and eventually we are too.

If one is to experience a future retrieval – to arrive at our divinely determined destiny -- it may be necessary to cut the rope anchoring us to toxic stories, acquaintances, or even a spouse. We can easily decay in the presence of controlling advice-givers, even when they believe what they are doing is in our best interests; it usually isn’t. But first comes the realization from within (a Pachakuti* ) that enough is enough . As civil rights luminary Rosa Parks once said, “I have learned that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” Then the Jaguar bravery shows up and we say to abusers, “I release you to your own destiny. I can walk alone.”

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“Breaking away is a marvelous invitation to stay with the immanent freshness of life, an opportunity to not be blinded by the given, and to follow our inner fragrance like a treasure hunt.”

- Annette Knopp

“I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man.”

- Chuang Tzu

* Pachakuti: A Peruvian indigenous (Q’ero) term for a cataclysmic moment in which a new world is suddenly born.

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Gaslighting

Thu, 13 Jan 2022 01:23:17 GMT

Manipulative and slick talking individuals can leave us feeling crazy, and even acting crazy, especially if we must live or work with them on a daily basis.

Gaslighting is a term used for a communication style that is used by insecure individuals who attempt to develop and maintain tight control in their intimate relationships.

There is a gaslighter and a recipient, the gaslightee . The gaslightee is not to be confused with a victim , as much of their reactivity rests within their own awareness and skills.

The insidious slide into this type of manipulative relationship occurs when the gaslighter -- who is often male or even a parent -- slowly chips away at their partner’s identity and redefines one’s sense of self. They speak with great certainty as a way to deflect attention from themselves. Yet, behind their authoritative and often authoritarian righteousness, the gaslighter actually feels insecure and powerless. As a compensation for these feelings, the gaslighter feels a need to prove himself to be unassailably right. In fact, they have such a flawed sense of self that they can’t tolerate the slightest challenge to their way of seeing things. Their reality must become your reality; you must go along with their point of view or an emotional price will be paid. For backing, the gaslighter may align himself with political groups or churches and, by those associations, can feel above reproach.

The gaslightee often has a very strong need for approval and acceptance that gets exploited when they engage in this type of predictable relationship tango.

At first they were drawn to this seemingly strong figure because of an idealization process and the need for approval and, consequently, elevated the gaslighter to a bigger than life role.

To recognize if you are being gaslighted, look for some of the following features:

You are constantly second-guessing yourself.
You repeatedly ask yourself, maybe a dozen times a day, “Am I being too sensitive?”
You are incessantly and nervously apologizing, even for your apologizing.
You always wonder if you’re good enough, as a friend, parent, employee, lover, etc.
You frequently make excuses for the gaslighter , excusing his rudeness and even public mockery.
You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
Before your partner comes home you go over a checklist in your head anticipating anything you may have done wrong that day which might disappoint or anger him.
You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life (as described by him), you aren’t happier.
You lose track of who you are, your true self.
You are constantly defending yourself.
You become lonely, anxious, and depressed.

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So what do you do about a situation like this?

The first thing is to become aware of your own role in keeping the tango alive. Recall the AA Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the ability to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Focus less attention on keeping the gaslighter happy and more on self-care, an honest appraisal of your true self, and your participation in the verbal dance.

Second , give up ! Yes, give up on certain things. Give up on changing him because he is in a stuck spot. Give up on becoming a person you are not; reclaim lost parts of you. Give up on being right and ask yourself if that tendency is a defense against personal fears? Give up on winning arguments as you can’t possibly win. Give up apologizing, especially when you try so hard. Give up on explaining your feelings in an attempt to be understood; he doesn’t understand his own feelings so why would he understand yours. Give up on winning his approval; you can’t get it from a person who doesn’t approve of himself; it will only be token and shallow.

Third , watch out for his secret weapons: reminding you of your worst self-appraisals or past mistakes, threatening you with abandonment for a better partner/daughter/employee, telling you to examine all of your other supposedly flawed relationships, and turning your ideals against you (i.e., “Aren’t families to be all about love. I thought you once said partners should always be supportive and compromising” etc.).

Fourth , watch out for enmeshment -- that urge to merge with him/her. Individuation is the answer, separating yourself from the gaslighter’s smothering and entangling ego blob. Detach and distance yourself, emotionally, physically, or both.

Fifth , watch out for the periodic and superficial apologies. Don’t confuse the gaslighter’s momentary sorrow, anger, or frustration with genuine regret. And then watch out for the seductive flowers, gifts, or promises that follow but are only designed to make you forget what preceded them.

Sixth , when the problem is primarily with your family, especially parents, refuse to engage in shaming or blaming dialogues. Resist the tendency to be seen as a victim or as being right; these are your biggest hooks. Instead focus on how you feel when you are near them.

Seventh , assertively set boundaries. Develop the discipline to set limits. Draw the line when it comes to maltreatment. Don’t bother judging his conduct, simply say “That’s enough for now, it hurts too much,” and calmly walk away and above all, don’t get physical and confuse aggression with assertion. You do not need to stick around for mistreatment. Opt out of arguments and fights as they only serve as practice sessions for their argumentative skills.

Eighth , keep telling yourself, “Hurt people, hurt people.” This means trying on compassion without selling out your soul. Don’t compromise your best values, your essence.

Ninth , stop berating yourself with negative commentary. After all, haven’t you received enough criticism from your persecutor? Don’t tag team with the gaslighter and pile on (capitulate) by agreeing with unsubstantiated putdowns.

Tenth , begin a soul retrieval process with a supportive community or team. Don’t isolate. Drawing strength and discernment from trusted friends is the way of indigenous societies.

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Additional Reading:

The Gaslight Effect by Robin Stern

Holistic Recovery from Alcoholism

Tue, 11 Jan 2022 23:53:32 GMT

It is true that AA has saved many lives. Twelve-step programming has offered a structured and reassuring promise of sobriety.

Truthfully, Alcoholics Anonymous success rate is astonishingly low, and it is almost heretical to offer constructive criticism of the program.

Despite its narrow focus and limited efficacy, we ought not conclude that “the baby must be thrown out with the bath water.” Holistic adjuncts to traditional programming can fashion comprehensive and effective recovery strategies. They must, however, address the mind, body, and spirituality of persons in the grip of addictions.

One of the cofounders of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill Wilson, after successfully curtailing his alcohol addiction found he was still beset with tobacco and sexual addictions years later. With those chronic scourges Wilson was flooded with guilt and a resultant depression which caused him to search even more for additional mood altering substances and behaviors. It created a proverbial snowball effect.

A circuitous path, prompted with the help of Aldous Huxley and Gerald Heard, led Wilson to Saskatchewan where a psychiatrist, Humphry Osmond, proposed LSD could curb his remaining addictions. It was suggested that a mystical enlightenment might permit another worldview to rise into consciousness. Long story short, Wilson’s life was transformed following ingestion of LSD. His lingering addictions immediately fell away and he promptly concluded that AA must find ways to incorporate spiritual development into their programming. Of course, his use of LSD was covered up for many years lest it damage Wilson’s or AA’s reputations.

In a letter to Heard in 1957, Wilson wrote: “I am certain that the LSD experience has helped me very much. I find myself with a heightened color perception and an appreciation of beauty that had almost been destroyed by my years of depression…. The sensation that the partition between ‘here’ and ‘there’ has become very thin [and now] is constantly with me.”

Osmond had long opined about the importance of seeing the Ultimate Reality, what Hindu mystics were talking about. And with that awakening, inner peace could be cultivated. Later, with research at major universities in Canada, England, and the United States, other psychedelics, plant medicines, and empathogens were discovered to have the ability to suddenly arrest addictive patterns while fostering a powerful spiritual unfolding.

At first this nascent movement appeared counterintuitive and dangerous. It seemed like one drug was being replaced by another and that people would simply be trading one addiction for another. A drug that mimicked insanity, LSD, was being used to find sanity. But it wasn’t addictive. In later years the same phenomenon was discovered with psilocybin.

Insert the advice of philosopher Alan Watts. When asked if people should continue to use LSD after getting a glimpse of God he said: “When one has received the message, hang up the phone.” Wilson got it. His subsequent reflections were couched in spiritual terms. He wrote: “A Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.”

The same small town Saskatchewan psychiatrists – Humphry Osmund and Abram Hoffer -- who used LSD to treat addictions were also utilizing seemingly benign nutrients to resolve major mental health problems.

For example, megadoses of vitamin B3 (niacinamide) were used to support alcoholism recovery, and dramatically reduce the symptoms of schizophrenia too. Today B3 is being lauded by other orthomolecular psychiatrists as a possible benzodiazepine look-alike, a nutrient that can ease the notoriously painful process of weaning off benzos by generating a similar, but safer, calming effect.

Psychotherapists now realize that fellowship, while extremely valuable to recovering patients, is but one component of a complex bio-neuro-psychological strategy that can comprehensively guide people’s minds and bodies in the direction of sobriety. If we discount nutritional deficiencies (vitamins, minerals, and amino acids) brought on by an alcoholic lifestyle, recovery rates will remain low. If intestinal health is overlooked – the lower brain, where mood lifting neurotransmitters and pain relievers are made – sadness will continue and injurious attempts at mood alteration with it. If we disregard the body’s various ways of reacting to alcohol’s toxicity, including unsatisfactory metabolism and malabsorption issues, sobriety will be elusive. If we fail to see the role of an overtaxed pancreas in regulating blood sugar levels, little progress will be made. And if toxic chemicals in the brain, cerebral allergies, and resultant inflammation are unexplored, drinking will continue unabated. These are a few of the insights garnered from the field of orthomolecular psychiatry.

Anxiety disorders have long been at the root of addictive cravings, whether to alcohol or opioids. Drugs can tamp down an overactive basal ganglia and the two amygdalae providing immediate relief, but as a result you may find yourself well on the road to addiction. Think of treating underlying anxiety as pulling logs off a bonfire. We wouldn’t use a fire extinguisher to spray the smoke wafting from a fire, we would aim it at the core flames. And abnormal brain waves are often at the root of addictive patterns. Consequently, the home use of an Alpha-stim microcurrent brain stimulator can subdue addictive chemical and food cravings in as little as twenty minutes, however, regular use of this safe instrument may be required.

Our addiction recovery toolkit is growing year by year. If we are willing to challenge existing paradigms and incorporate new knowledge, recovery becomes more realistically attainable than ever.

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“When you come across a step asking you to ‘know God’s will,’ I think of it as letting go of your ego. This is about finding a way to deconstruct our old belief system, to deconstruct our old self, to have the intention and motivation to align ourselves with another power. Take God out of it and try to let go. It’s about taking action to change our habitual patterns of thought and behavior. It doesn’t have to be some God up there running the whole show.”

- Kevin Griffin in Latin Distilled Spirits

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Additional Reading:

Latin Distilled Spirits: Getting High, Then Sober, with a Famous Writer, a Forgotten Philosopher, and a Hopeless Drunk by Don Lattin

Addiction-Free Naturally by Brigitte Mars

The Craving Cure by Julia Ross

MDMA and the Up-Down, Right-Left Brain

Tue, 11 Jan 2022 23:18:48 GMT

As previously mentioned, the MDMA journey can create knowings and visions ; it may expand a person’s previous understanding of consciousness .

This sortie can lead one to understanding, empathy, intuition, integration, creativity, gratitude, forgiveness, and compassion. All of these concepts are already residing within each person, and within the universe.

MDMA awakens these nascent parts leaving patients with an enhanced connectivity . This is deeper than curing , this process is called healing .

But how does the medicine and attendant ceremony do this? What parts of the brain are impacted by the Greater Consciousness, God, or whatever a person chooses to call the guiding force of creation that seems to be playing hide-and-seek with them?

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I have previously explained the up-down theory of MDMA. Refreshing your memory, it goes like this. When trauma or a heredity factor causes the brain’s deep limbic system (mood control center) to operate with high energy (causing low moods), the basal ganglia (the anxiety factory) and the two amygdala (fear centers) rev up and life becomes unpleasant. When this happens electrical firing in the brain goes straight up and activates the anterior cingulate gyrus (obsessing center). As a consequence you can’t let go of unpleasant thoughts and emotions – you struggle to shift gears and ditch the prevailing mood. At the same time, much like how a circuit breaker works, the orbital pre-frontal cortex (location of the brain’s logical orchestra leader) shuts down because of the energy surge originating from behind and below. Bottom line, a person reacts emotionally rather than insightfully.

The ingredients in MDMA, and its synergetic effect in each person’s unique body, calms the deep limbic region and reroutes energy away from the cingulate gyrus toward the frontal region. The result: patients become much more serene and see things more intelligently; they let go of highly repetitive and negative thinking which often leads trauma resolution, integration, and self-compassion.

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The left-right theory of MDMA that I espouse goes this way. The left brain hemisphere (a very general term) has the duty of establishing beliefs and interpreting events with language, often with little regard for reality. It creates a separate and distinct version of who we are that is referred to as the self , the ego , which ought to be regarded more like a verb than a noun. In other words, it is constantly altering our self-image, making up B. S. that individuals subscribe to and live by.

While the left-brain wants to make sense of the world and keep us safe, it is this hyperactive brain area that creates suffering by “helping.” It generates patterns, categories, and seemingly logical storylines that one is inclined to believe, after all, the source of information came from within our own brain and certainly we would never deceive ourselves – would we? Generally, people conclude that if a thought originated in their own mind, with the help of their own brain, it must be true. We wouldn’t mislead ourselves, other people do that. Wrong! Consider a bumper sticker message I once saw that read: Don’t Believe Everything You Think.

Humans easily confuse their thinking and language with reality. Other animals not so “well endowed” don’t seem to suffer from neurosis, illusions, and delusions quite like we do. Ram Dass has suggested why people are drawn to gurus and religion for answers during times of confusion. He wrote: “All spiritual practices are illusions created by illusionists to escape illusion.”

Because the left brain creates classifications, especially in easy to understand dichotomous forms, and because it weaves together our repeated stories to form wild beliefs, it oversimplifies the world we live in. Nuances get lost. Understood this way, the suffering we are trying to resolve is actually a creation from within, creations of our left-brain interpreter of the universe. If an individual is not extraordinarily careful, they can over-identify with the interpreter of life , namely ego, and miss out on life.

This crafty and calculating brain region also encourages cynicism and complaining, namely objecting to things the way they are. And when people take their judgments too seriously, they become “the way things are.” Like the old Zen saying goes: “Right and wrong become the sickness of the mind.”

Fortunately, MDMA can quiet this intellectual nonsense and allow us to find respite, and some real answers, spending more time in global, or universal, right brain activity.

The right hemisphere, unlike the left, is the big picture center. It processes the whole panorama of life experiences on a continuum where you are, fortunately, on the same spectrum as “jerks” and “abusers.” It helps people see beyond individual parts in the system so they can realize the relationships and connectivity between life energies. And like the Buddha said, “To understand everything is to forgive everything.”

Further, the right brain is about being in and observing reality versus repeatedly engaging in thinking, analyzing, judging, and emoting. In essence, it operates without as much thought -- by which I mean without so many words or distorted beliefs – with fewer good guys and bad guys within their narrowly defined categories. If reality were seen as an ocean, the left hemisphere could only note one wave at a time, whereas the right brain can sees the vastness of the sea all at once and stand in awe.

I’m reminded again of Edgar Mitchell, the astronaut who had an overwhelming sense of universal connectedness while looking out the space capsule window while heading home from the moon. He intuited that the universe is in some way a form of consciousness and it was so large it defied his verbal description. It was more like a knowing . And it was ineffable. One might apply the Zen concept of prajna here: a wisdom beyond wisdom.

William James, a founder of the new field of psychology, over one hundred years ago wrote about a nonsensory form of intelligence he called “fringe consciousness.” It was a way of knowing that didn’t seem to have direct sensory, perceptual, or language content to it. He likened it to intuition; it didn’t always involve direct thought, was ineffable, yet believable. James believed it connected dots in a much bigger picture allowing our consciousness to expand to distant places, beyond the confines of the left brain.

In the right hemisphere there is a location called the right temporoparietal junction that does nothing but think about other people’s perspective to round out our picture of life events. MDMA seems to activate this area. And when persons see the interconnectivity of all things, the right brain creates an immersing wave of empathy, compassion, and gratitude, even in response to “bad” things that have happened to them. Maybe this is what Joseph Campbell meant when he said, “When real trouble comes, your humanity is awakened.”

And when the right brain comes online and stays online, thanks to the medicine, something else can happen. Many people become more creative. And with the basal ganglia quieted, and with it anxiety, even their handwriting, dexterity, and artistic abilities improve.

MDMA’s ability to expand consciousness makes us better observers of, and participants in, life. As Nisargadatta Maharaj said, “You are not in the world, but the world is in you.”

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Additional Reading:

No Self, No Problem by Chris Niebauer

MDMA, Maslow, and Peak Experiences

Fri, 31 Dec 2021 01:31:01 GMT

Almost six decades ago a leader in the field of Third Force (humanistic) Psychology wrote about an interesting phenomenon, the peak-experience.

Abraham Maslow, in his book, Religions, Values, and Peak-experiences shared observations of patients who underwent awakenings characterized by awe, rapture, and transcendence, none of which were drug-induced.

What is very striking about his early research is that it appears to capture the same experiences commonly reported by individuals following MDMA psychotherapy-assisted treatments. Maslow realized that the sacred wasn’t only found in the venue of cathedrals nor was it the sole responsibility of priests. Rather it was often a highly personal and truly natural excursion into one’s private religion developed out of private revelations.

Often the sacred followed the profane, a way of saying trauma is often followed by post-traumatic growth (PTG).

As you recount (or anticipate) your transcendent moments with MDMA it may be consoling, or even heady, to contrast your experiences with the patient outcomes he chronicled in the 1960s. Many of your predecessors watched their anxiety, strong obsessional thinking, and suicidality disappear – often immediately and permanently following a peak-experience. Here are the top 25 aspects Maslow observed:

The whole universe was perceived as an integrated and unified whole. There was tremendous concentration of a kind which did not normally occur. It was described as non-evaluating, non-comparing, or nonjudgmental cognitions – an understanding acceptance of everything.

Individuals became more detached, more objective, and were more able to perceive the world as if it were independent not only of the perceiver but even of human beings in general. It was a little like talking about a god-like perception -- superhuman perceptions in which they could see in a higher than usual way. They felt like larger, greater, stronger, and bigger people, seeing things accordingly.

It was an ego-transcending, self-forgetful, egoless, and unselfish event.

At the same time, and upon reflection, it felt self-validating, giving meaning to life itself, helping in some instances to prevent suicide.

A conclusion was that there are ends in the world to yearn for which are worthwhile in themselves.

They experienced universality and eternity. The person, during the peak-experience, felt the day passed as it were minutes. They may also have experienced an enlarged consciousness when they could be locate themselves in different places.

The world was seen as beautiful, good, desirable, but never as evil or wrong; it was accepted. Somehow they became reconciled themselves to what they had once called “evil” which came to be understood and seen in its proper place, as a part of the whole, as belonging there, as unavoidable, necessary, and, therefore, as proper. The “bad” things about life became accepted more totally than at previous times.

Some reported feeling god-like which prevented feelings of blame and condemnation. Their only possible emotions were charity, kindness, and perhaps sadness or amusement with life.

They perceived moments of eternal truths, high spiritual and religious values. People’s spirit, and even their bodies, were seen as sacred vessels.

They felt more passive, receptive, and humble than normal – more ready to listen and much more able to hear and understand others.

Childlike emotions of wonder, awe, reverence, surrender, and even worship before the greatness of the experience were often reported.

Dichotomies, polarities, and conflicts of life tended to get resolved. There was a movement toward fusion, integration, and unity, and away from splitting and oppositions.

There was a loss of fear, anxiety, inhibition, of defense and control, perplexity, confusion, delay, and restraint. Profound fears of falling apart, disintegration, of insanity, and of death, all tended to disappear for the moment if not longer.

After effects were often so profound and so great as to seem similar to a religious conversion. Often, it forever changed the person. Therapeutic achievements, which increased thereafter, were seen as important and valuable, but lesser effects.

It was if they discovered and visited their own personally defined heaven and then returned to earth. This provided a naturalistic meaning to the concept of heaven. Peak-experiencers concluded they could re-experience heaven thereafter, always being able to step into it for a little while at least. Internally derived comfort could be accessed thereafter.

There was a tendency to humbly move more closely to a perfect identity, or uniqueness, to become a more real person.

They felt more, than at previous times, to be responsible, active, more self-determined, more a free agent with more free will, and as the creators of their own life and activities. They were actors, not just reactors.

Those who had the clearest and strongest identities were the ones who were most able to transcend the ego or self, to become selfless.

Peak-experiencers became more loving, compassionate, more accepting, spontaneous, honest, and innocent.

They were less an object, less a thing. Less inclined to live under the laws of a strictly physical world. They became more a psyche, more a person, more subject to psychological laws, especially the guidelines of what people have called the “higher life.”

They were non-striving, non-needing, non-wishing, asking less for themselves, in other words, less selfish. In this way they felt more god-like and at one with the divinity.

After the peak-experience most reported feeling blessed, fortunate, and graced. Feelings of gratitude greatly increased.

A unitive consciousness was experienced that was infused with the sacred and permeated the momentary, the secular, and the worldly.

The gap or polarity between humility and pride tended to resolve. They could easily feel both proud and humble. Maslow coined the term “self-actualizing” to describe these persons.

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“The peak-experience itself can often meaningfully be called a ‘little death,’ and a rebirth in various senses.”

- A.H. Maslow

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MDMA, Capabilities, and Limitations

Thu, 30 Dec 2021 23:09:41 GMT

There is a great deal of confusion about what MDMA (an empathogen) and psilocybin, LSD, and DMT (psychedelics) can do to heal a person.

All of them can have near immediate effects and all can have lingering effects. But what is realistic to expect, especially from the more subtle MDMA?

MDMA is thought of as a relational trauma medicine. It can often reset a person to a pre-trauma state and enhance socialization. It is notoriously effective when there has been an interpersonal trauma. And betrayal – via deception, lying, trickery, and/or gaslighting -- is at the core of these traumas. Domestic violence, sexual abuse, religious abuse, family disloyalties, and suicide are common examples.

During (and after) treatment, this medicine will swell your heart so that you can feel emotions more strongly than before and not be as constricted. In the case of the tragic loss of a loved one, MDMA will not erase previous warm and loving feelings, in fact, you just might appreciate the gift of your loved one even more. Yay! Ouch! So anticipate there may be unusually strong moments of sobbing, appreciating, laughing, and discouragement. This grief process -- over what you had or what you may never have experienced earlier in your life -- may heighten your awareness of how love was absent for far too long. After a heartbreaking loss you may be broken open , for a time, to more powerful emotions, not just by the grief but by MDMA’s chemical stimulation as well.

By its very definition an empathogen opens you up emotionally -- warmly and lovingly. The keys to issue resolution are to a) give the medicine time as neurogenesis is slower acting than a blast of DMT or LSD, and b) allow the full release of your grief-praise response which may leave you feeling “all over the place” until integration has occurred. And if you allow the full expression of natural pent up feelings, gratitude and hope can eventually fill the void. In the meantime, your task is to mindfully target enough people and animals to be recipients of your increased sociability and love. Exercise the love muscles. And continue your therapy with a sharper mind at your disposal.

MDMA is far different from antidepressants and antianxiety medications that stifle emotions. Keeping them inside leads to a vacuous cynicism and meager social existence. Many people prefer prescription drugs because they buffer them from a complete life -- from loving mightily and losing compellingly. Sometimes people simply prefer not to feel. But if one is to grow, they must be unafraid to love. And if a person doesn’t release what is inside of them, there will be no development, just a flatlined “life” with no real life to it.

Persons can remain stuck in old emotional baggage that doesn’t get released and transformed into something bigger and better. MDMA does not smother emotions, it brings them out into the open so awareness and healing can occur.

Do not fear what is inside you, unless you decide to hold it in forever. Big emotions means you feel, you understand yourself more fully, you can empathize, you love, and you are fully alive. And some days that will sucks, other days it will be glorious. But usually all emotions, like passing rain clouds, will pass.

Abraham Maslow, who studied self-actualization and peak experiences of the kind some mood altering drugs set in motion, wrote about passionate love. His words: “I wonder if we humans could love – love passionately – if we knew we [or our partners] would never die.” Rollo May, another legend in the field of psychology added, “This is another asset of recognizing our mortality: We learn to love each other. We are able to love passionately because we die.” Sometimes people love like there is no tomorrow because, sooner or later, there will be no tomorrow.

Irreverently, I am reminded of an old Schlitz beer commercial where a group of men were gathered around a campfire out West enjoying each other’s company as the sun was setting. The iconic line that accompanied their socializing was: “You only go around once in life, so you better grab for all the gusto you can.” In other words, feel big and love big while alive; know the experience, viscerally.

Give thanks for those precious moments with your intimates and shed tears from time to time when memorializing their spirit. Cry and praise. But never let their spirit die. As Ojibway Blackwolf Jones reminds us [paraphrased], “Wear their spirit like a loose fitting coat, not getting too attached to what is impermanent.” Cling only to that which now can find a permanent home in you, a loving spirit. Recognize that love is the ultimate medicine, akin to MDMA, but in time release form.

The ultimate goal of MDMA may be to bring relational emotions to the surface. With a clearer mind, and a balanced and growing brain, we can much more effectively do the necessary psychotherapy work that follows the medicinal treatment.

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“Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something will make sense, regardless of how it turns out.”

- Vaclav Havel

“The medicine doesn’t give you a fish. It doesn’t even teach you how to fish. It shows you that there are fish and points out where the fish are. The rest is up to you.”

- Dan Engle in A Dose of Hope: A Story of MDMA-Assisted Psychotherapy

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Additional Reading:

The Gaslight Effect by Robin Stern

MDMA and Hope

Thu, 30 Dec 2021 22:44:03 GMT

When people go in search of a legitimate MDMA-psychotherapy assisted provider, it is usually during a time of crisis. A traumatic event may precede the treatment and seemingly dash all hope of a happy life.

To grasp hope for a pleasant future individuals must first find a way to disentangle themselves from the tentacles of hurt, sadness, and despair. That may seem onerous at first but that is where MDMA fits in.

The medicine doesn’t change any of what happened. It doesn’t result in a loss of memory. MDMA does not distort the truth of one’s experiences. In fact, it acts like a clarifying truth detector amidst depression. And that’s important because thinking is often distorted during depressive episodes. At those times we are naturally predisposed to draw conclusions from our last big life events, especially negative ones, and extrapolate exaggerated conclusions elsewhere using a broad brush. It is common to transpose dark energy onto the rest of our world experiences -- past, present, and future. That’s how a major depression works. When, however, heavy energy ( hucha ) is vacated with a push from MDMA, there is room for a lighter vibratory energy to enter our psyche ( sami ).

In The Power of Grace , author David Richo refers to a special voice of wisdom that flows through us. This seed of hope comes from what he refers to as a “mother energy” that is already planted within us. The “within” is part of the transcendent that gives us strength; it is that part of us that is both human and Divine. Richo also suggests there is a storehouse of grace and hope to be discovered after difficult times with the help of these built-in powers. It is the gift dimension of life residing in us.

As Walt Whitman wrote: “I am larger, better than I thought, I did not know I held so much goodness. I am large, I contain multitudes.” This innate strength is a goodness that we can bestow on ourselves with the help of a medicinal releasing process.

During an MDMA session the voice of goodness moves through us, often without words, but with heart expanding knowings matched with love. This offers a truth that cannot be taught, only received from Divine Source. It is always there awaiting a wakeup call. This, after all, may be the point of trauma -- to take us to a higher level of existence.

Once we discover the power within and invite it to guide us through tragedy and pain, the result is hope. This trust in ourselves to surmount any difficulty is really a trust in our true nature, our interbeing , the conviction that we are interconnected parts of a wise Mother Nature that sides with life. She’s “got our back.”

Ideas of fate , luck , or God’s plan for us are not very helpful in challenging times. Hope, on the other hand, develops when we have an unobstructed vision of corroborated prospects. Hope is a new vision – often kick-started by MDMA – that transcends what we have heretofore been unable to imagine, understand, and reach.

A mature spiritual alternative, as Richo suggests, recognizes that pain and suffering may not have a meaning or reason, but they do offer a function in life to take us to a new condition. As I wrote in Transcending Trauma , when we become the meaning makers of our lives big things begin to happen. Or, as Benjamin Franklin wrote, “The things that hurt us instruct us.”

And then there is the challenging notion of Norma Fischer, in the Buddhist book, All the Rage . She advices us, particularly in times of negative emotions to “abandon” hope. Fischer believes that hope usually means rejecting the moment at hand. Hope is presented as a form of cowardice when we refuse to explore what is going on now and long for something more pleasant in the future. We deny what is.

Few people have instructed and inspired me more in life than the wise anthropologist and mythologist, Joseph Campbell. He challenged me to stay open to the possibility that when people explore the “horribles” of life, gifts likely will await them. Campbell called this process the Hero’s Journey , a very scary time in life when a person must, with trust and hope, forge a new path through uncharted territory, taking a road less traveled.

Importantly, Campbell gave us this lesson: “We have not even to risk this adventure alone; for the heroes of all time have gone before us, the labyrinth is thoroughly known; we have only to follow the thread of the hero-path. And when we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; when we had thought it necessary to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outwards, we shall come to the center of our own existence; where we had thought to be alone we shall be one with the world.”

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Additional Reading:

A Dose of Hope by Dr. Dan Engle and Alex Young

MDMA, Ego Dissolution, and Symbols

Thu, 30 Dec 2021 21:36:31 GMT

Ego dissolution can be thought of as our personality “falling apart” before a new self can emerge.

Following trauma most people don’t like who they have become. They may feel fragile, delicate, as if they are about to experience a “break down.” And this break down is often followed by a breakthrough, in part due to following your inner guidance while exploring life with MDMA.

Authentic shamans, well before they realized their true worth, underwent serious illness or something akin to a psychic disintegration. Often they imagined their skin, organs, and bones falling away until there was nothing left of their original body, the original self. Many, in a reflective mode, would go into isolation in a trying to reassemble a healthier self.

Not surprisingly, many indigenous cultures plan transformative events of this nature for individuals, often during normal times such as adolescence when a new identity may be taken on. They are called rites of passage . Many Native American tribes even assign a new name to the new individual after a transformational vision quest. First comes pain, then isolation and deprivation, and finally after much suffering and reflection, a return to community as a remodeled or reborn human being. It’s much like the universal hero’s journey Joseph Campbell wrote about.

During such challenging shifts while attempting to understand and accept yourself, many symbols may appear, whether in dreams, or today with the help of MDMA. It is important to remember some of the symbols, whether it is the skeletal remains of the former self, or a garden of flowers growing out of your heart. The symbols are like condensed versions of the transformational journey.

T his happened to Carl Jung, the famous psychoanalyst after his tumultuous breakup with Freud. They heatedly differed on key issues. In his mid-thirties, Jung regarded himself as the proud son of the much older Freud, but his fatherfigure’s constant harping (rejection) led Jung to call off their relationship. Then with a destabilized ego Jung went into a freefall and had what felt like psychotic episodes; he was visited by visionary animals (including a white dove) while awake and in dreams, before he evolved into the incredible visionary leader of psychology that he later became.

Not immediately understanding what was happening to him, Jung turned to his dreams for symbolic guidance. There were human corpses, deaths, and resurrections which he later concluded were symbols of the death of his adolescent self before the emergence of the new-and-improved version.

It was after this difficult life transition following his trauma (the “death” of his father) that Jung realized he was onto something. He discovered what later would be coined “active imagination,” a process he would rely on again and again in future descents into the trepidatious unknown.

Active imagination involves 1) paying attention to dreams (inner guidance) without too much interpretation (a knowing experience vs. an analytical one), 2) journaling for internalization and future reflection, and 3) engaging in expressive arts. Putting all three elements together it boiled down to keeping the symbols (vs. interpretations) and imagery alive in a variety of ways. It could entail painting pictures of the symbols, drawing mandalas, gathering stones, writing poems or songs, displaying symbols in his house, and so on. Collectively what this did for Jung was to hold on to and amplify the ego-altering effects of visions and dreams. And those are several ways in which the power of an MDMA experience can be kept alive. That may be helpful in promoting feelbacks , those flashes to the MDMA treatment that rekindle and replay the healing experience which keeps the transformative experience alive in us.

So it just may be that just about the moment you think you are “losing it” you may in fact be on the cusp of a new and happier way of being.

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“The years when I was pursuing my inner images were the most important in my life – in them everything essential was decided. It all began then; the later details are only supplements and clarifications of the material that burst forth from the unconscious, and at first swamped me. It was the prima material for a lifetimes’ work.”

- C.G. Jung

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Additional Reading:

The Journey of Soul Initiation by Bill Plotkin (2021)

MDMA and Vibratory Medicine

Thu, 30 Dec 2021 21:07:33 GMT

What treatment is most effective in facing and overcoming trauma? Most of them!

More precisely, if a person, and better yet a community of people, believe in a purported trauma remedy, it will likely work.

Just like we used to believe wholeheartedly in SSRIs and SSNIs for depression and trauma, and later came to rely on EMDR and tapping , they all can and may still facilitate some change. But often reasons for their efficacy remain unclear or unproven. This despite the desire of psychologists to ensconce encouraging trends in unproven neurological theories rather than longstanding and well understood psychological phenomenon.

So what is it about EMDR and tapping , for example, makes them so popular? For starters, they can work, whether because of collective societal beliefs (placebo) or yet to be understood science. Allen, et al, in EMDR: A Closer Look explain that in what is called the desensitization stage of trauma recovery, patients are asked to focus partial attention on a bilateral rhythmic stimulation: a light bar, moving fingers, alternating tapping on the body, or alternating tones in stereo earphones. What is essential to its success is the dual activity , or the distraction when psychological trauma is being addressed. Divided attention , or distraction , much like watching virtual reality games during surgery without anesthesia, research reveals, can dramatically reduce fear and pain. Engaging in most any competing task while experiencing or upon recalling previous painful events can dramatically reduce associated discomfort.

So why is this? It all relates back to how animal minds and bodies evolved. All animals, including humans, have the innate capacity to dissociate (note I didn’t say disassociate , which is quite different) during scary or painful times. I have witnessed impalas doing it during lion attacks, when even a close call resulted in the impala collapsing as if dead, but only dissociating in what some call fear paralysis . Once the danger has passed, the impala gets up, “unthaws,” shakes and bucks vigorously, and then resumes life seemingly unscathed, all in minutes. They complete the trauma cycle rather than bury it or freeze it in the psyche and body.

Humans have similar trauma reactions as our animal relatives. We may “go away” or “punch out” during overwhelmingly scary and painful times. This can eliminate recall of the trauma. Sometimes, however, we only go away to a degree, what is referred to as partial dissociation . When danger is passed we may have some residual conscious and some repressed memories that can result in post-traumatic stress or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Fear impairs attention and full encoding of experiences; that’s a good thing. So while a person is fighting for their life, they may only be partially present for the trauma and experiencing dual activities or divided attention .

The innate abilities that helped us survive as a species today get repackaged by psychotherapists in new and somewhat different forms that are intended to distract us from a full, flooding recall of the trauma.

Doctors call this titration , in other words, a little bit of recall at a time is released until we get used to discussing the trauma and eventually integrating most of it into a new and positive life story of resolute perseverance and growth, what some of us now call post-traumatic growth (PTG).

So every decade or two Western medicine invents a new drug or a new technique that is designed to treat the sequelae (aftermath) of trauma – what is regarded as the “next best thing.” But what remains to be said about ancient evidence-based approaches? Zulu and Bushman tribes have long relied on vibrational energy, like Kundalini, to dislodge stuck energy from the body, which includes the brain.

A colleague, David Cumes, M.D., who is both a Western trained surgeon at Stanford, and a Zulu trained sangoma (shaman), has noted how shaking, dancing, and even convulsive waves going up the back and spine to the shoulder’s neck and head can release trauma’s hold on people. In one of his books, The Source , David wrote about the importance of blending one’s belief system (potential placebo) with Zulu inspired shaking, to commence the healing process.

In his latest book, The Transformation: Discovering Wholeness and Healing after Trauma , James Gordon, M.D., devotes an entire chapter to “Shaking and Dancing,” African sangoma/nyanga remedies. He sees perturbation -- the intentional disturbance of physical and chemical systems -- as a key to bringing to the surface, expressing, and then releasing buried feelings. He invites his patients to begin each day with vigorous movements, accompanied by music and drumming, to bring vibratory medicine from the feet, to the knees, the hips, and upward. For some people who have rarely, or never cried, this can unleash a torrent of healing tears.

Laughter, animal contact, community support, probiotics, amino acids, and yoga (particularly trauma sensitive yoga ) to start, and eventually building up to vigorous movement and chaotic breathing , all can play a small part in dissolving related chronic physical and mental patterns, including those not arising from traumas. Vibration can be generated in many ways. And vibration can reset the body to healthier and lighter energy levels.

MDMA rituals and ceremonies, particularly when indigenously inspired, have repeatedly allowed individuals to relive and then integrate traumatic events with surprising ease. What seems to bring the trauma to the forefront of the mind just before commencing the medicinal treatment is the vibratory release of pent up energy. This can be done by singing, dancing, and vigorous shaking. Shake things up and then relax into healing. This will allow the medicine to better assist you in counseling yourself with greater empathy, compassion, and love in your heart.

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“Think of something that makes your heart glad that can bring you back to equanimity. The dark forces are most helpless in the face of love and laughter.”

- David Cumes, M.D. in The Source

“Ecstatic trembling and shaking are the natural expressions of a spirited body. They indicate a process of heightened arousal that contributes to the body’s way of bringing forth self-corrective healing, well-being, and transformation.”

- Bradford Keeney, Ph.D., anthropologist and expert of Bushman healing

“Indigenous wisdom knows that ‘to live is to move.’ To awaken from our deep slumber means our bones will be rattled, and we’ll be shaken to the core.”

- Malidoma Some’, author of Healing Wisdom of Africa

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Additional Reading:

Shaking Medicine by Bradford Keeney, Ph.D.

MDMA, Mystery, and Matter

Thu, 30 Dec 2021 19:33:41 GMT

Certainty and predictability is what all of us seek, particularly if we have come from an environment of unpredictability, chaos, and trauma.

Understanding something and predicting what might occur next provides comfort. Uncertainty and mysteries can be a little unsettling. It is natural to want to grasp onto something for emotional serenity to have faith in the way things are and can be, hopefully built on visible, tangible, and measurable evidence.

In the grand scheme of things, what really matters? To make the next point the important question for now will be, “What is matter?” It is regarded as a handful of elementary particles which vibrate and fluctuate constantly between existence and non-existence. Eye opening and comforting? Didn’t think so.

Try this. Did you know that only 4 percent of our universe consists of ordinary matter of the kind we are familiar? The rest, 96 percent, is a complete mystery. Ninety-six percent! Just think of all those persons – prophets, pastors, gurus, politicians – who dare to be so absolutely certain of everything between countries, heavens, earth, and hell. It may be that the world is more boundless and mysterious than we can even imagine given the limitations of our brains. Perhaps, with a little help from an entheogen or an empathogen to get our limiting brain momentarily out of the way, our way of “seeing” matter and the things that do matter -- like spirit, vibration, and the energizing forces of our world -- can become clearer.

With all this “not knowing” should we be frightened or excited? Be intrigued? Or fearing bedlam, duck and cover? Fall on a spear?

Perhaps the best recourse is to follow the Buddhist practice of getting comfortable with what is , just as it is, trusting there is a greater organizing force in charge, and it’s not us, not even a body of politicians or group of neuroscientists.

Many people, who have faith in God or Allah, seem to be able to trust in intangibles, things we cannot see or touch. The Ojibwa Indians conclude our brains, minds, and imaginations are so puny that we can only conclude one thing about large creative and sustaining forces: they/it should be called the Great Mystery. Not knowing is part of being human. It is even more expansive than the “beginner’s mind” that Buddhism references, but difficult to sit with.

Joseph Chilton Pearce, in The Heart-Mind Matrix , cautioned us not to live too much in our cranial brain. It just can’t handle the big questions. He wrote: “The irony is that the intensity of our current crisis…can be attributed to our very ‘superior brain.’ It takes some extraordinary brilliance and creativity to make the incredible mess we have made on this good Earth. The sharper our intellect, the deeper our crisis. And we are getting correspondingly smarter intellectually while less intelligent.” It’s time to plug into a bigger mind that has a far wider perspective, the mind of the universe. Admitting we may not have all the answers is the first step to discovering answers to our planetary and interpersonal existence.

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The Institute for HeartMath has taught us that a minute or so of anger or fear can depress the immune system for hours. In contrast, what might the feelings of MDMA induced compassion, empathy, love, and bonding awaken? If we become happier can it be the start of being healthier? And if we tap into the creative and benevolent forces of the universe, the larger Us, there appears to be some certainty that the world will be experienced as a kinder and nicer place.

With the left brain momentarily calmed down and out of the way due to being blindfolded and under MDMA’s influence, and with the frequencies of a greater mind penetrating our consciousness and being transmuted in little digestible bites fed to our brain, we may become slightly more familiar with the underlying mind of the universe – the Great Thinker. Paradoxically, the world becomes more illuminated in the dark recesses of our mind, when we “plug into” the larger feminine consciousness all around us – in the field where we detect a hint of the enormous explanatory process we are positioned in. As the Norwegian writer Jon Fosse posits, both practically and poetically: “You can never see further than in the dark.” And within the human body, Joseph Chilton Pearce believes, it is the heart-mind, especially when activated by MDMA, that is the command center.

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“Fritjof Capra noted that in quantum physics we never end with things, or the safe round solid objects sought by materialists, but only connections, influences, forces. Or, as I have in my previous books, all there is, is relationship.”

- Joseph Chilton Pearce in The Heart-Mind Matrix

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MDMA and Wolf Spirit

Wed, 29 Dec 2021 00:01:05 GMT

Some “graduates” of this relational medicine have had meaningful experiences with animals including Dog and Wolf, our second cousins after the other primates.

Our bond with canus lupus goes back, way back. While we have been on the planet for at least 3 – 5 million years, Wolf has been around for about 1 million, 750,000 years on this continent. We became close friends long ago and started living aside each “other.” Then our lifestyle became agricultural and, as a result, humans started isolating from the natural world that once was immediate.

In a fascinating book by Teo Alfero, The Wolf Connection , he contends that the connecting force known as Wolf is part of a collective global awareness and Wolf consciousness remains omnipresent. It is an omniconsciousness. And as one of our closest animal allies, Wolf, remains tightly entwined with us at some level. So, if you have felt coessence with Wolf during or after MDMA treatment, read on.

Wolf tacitly communicated to Teo (a knowing ) that some of us are not humans anymore, we are just a self-created identity. The suggestion is we have lost rootedness not only to our complete selves, but to our animal relatives as well. The inward focused energy of individuality has cut us off from some of our original cohorts. Doing technology hasn’t fixed things either, it has only widened the gap between fellow human beings and other animal beings .

A medicine man once said: “If you resist any energy it will chase you.” Yet, if we raise our level of consciousness and shed heavy self-focused energy, our everlasting connection to Wolf (think quantum entanglement ) can continue at a more conscious level. Then Wolf can catch up to us and we may rejoin the animal pack world of connectivity. The enlarged consciousness you may have felt during an MDMA treatment hinted at this possibility.

Humans are really into what the can see, touch, manipulate, and possess. The subtle intuitive voices of Nature get quieted even more as we become increasingly tribal, even distancing ourselves from each other while wondering, “Why am I so unhappy.” Indigenous science speaks to the relatedness to all things, Wolf included.

If we are to thrive as a species, humans must bring forth something other than self-absorption. Humbly mingling with all other creatures is part of the answer.

Tuvans, an indigenous people of Asia, hold the belief that Wolf has a changeable nature and the power to converse with humans without using words; Teo knows that concept well. So, as we become aware of the isolating qualities of ego during a treatment, is it any surprise that you may suddenly and unexpectedly howl like Wolf? Does this suggest a primal knowing of your social roots, a call to/from the pack? The “ Call of the Wild ?”

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Teo operates an adolescent behavioral treatment program in California where he attempts to connect young people with the spirit of captive (ugh!) Wolf. Despite their mutual legal confinement, Wolf and the kids work well together, they help each other coevolve. In tandem they bring out the best in each “other.”

Ensconced in treatment rituals troubled youth grow in ways they could not have occurred in an L. A. apartment. As author Lynne McTaggart, author of The Bond , taught us, partaking in rituals helps us attach to participants. During rituals, people are disposed to relinquish some of their divorcing boundaries and can be transformed by reawakening interpersonal and interspecies bonds. McTaggart has written, “The world essentially operates, not through the activity of individual things, but in connection with them… in the space between things .”

Teo has repeatedly traveled to Wyoming to commune with Wolf in a wilderness setting. There he met Kira Cassidy, a wildlife biologist with the Yellowstone Wolf Project. They watched Wolf in packs readying themselves for a big collective howl. Kira likens this activity to a ritualistic bonding experience that has been practiced for millennia by tribal hunting or war parties, and in modern days by sport teams (e.g., Timberwolves and Jaguars) and their fans. Together Teo and Kira concluded these howling rituals may be a demonstration that Wolf, and perhaps humans too, have memories that were not directly taught by our living Elders. Instead, this harkening back to group bonding activities is stored in our collective genes; it is a collective memory. And during an MDMA experience, especially one that is preceded by social rituals, a larger consciousness, a sense of ancient ancestral unity, can come alive in us. Our task, thereafter, is to keep this primal energy’s reemergence buzzing thru regular reenactments. Teo was reminded by one of his teachers, Carol Tiggs, to “Never forget that the vast majority of consciousness is nonhuman.” That, she concluded, “is an energetic fact.”

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“Once our true nature is reclaimed and freed, our capabilities can make us truly magical beings, with the power to manifest and achieve anything imaginable. Our creative life force will no longer be at the service of the insecure self-reflection or ego, but in alignment with the cosmic flow of purpose and intent.”

- Teo Alfero in The Wolf Connection

“During the performance of a group ritual, personal fears and doubts are shared as a group, which has a calming effect. Engaging in ritual also has a profound impact on the hormone expression of all participants, which results in physiological, immunological, and behavioral changes. Ultimately, this helps to create cooperative relationships within complex societies.”

- Caitlin O,Connell, Ph.D., in Wild Rituals: 10 Lessons Animals Can Teach Us about Connection, Community, and Ourselves

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MDMA Relations and Place

Tue, 28 Dec 2021 15:14:48 GMT

Typically, when people think of MDMA their minds go to Molly, Adam, ecstasy and other street drugs.

The recreational use of these drugs may nudge them into a new way of being, whether that was their original intention or not. Often social bonds are momentarily strengthened, whether partying or in a solemn and sacred ceremony close to Nature.

This family of drugs is known for its relational qualities. Pure, research grade MDMA is recognized as one of the safest and gentlest of the empathogens; it fosters and deepens empathy for all that is sentient.

To understand the deepest potential residing in this version of MDMA we must first leave the research labs and reconsider indigenous ways of being. After all, First Peoples introduced colonizers to a variety of plants with unique molecular structures that enhance our connections, not just between humans but with plants, animals, elements, and even one’s sense of place.

Place may be the place to start. For Amazonian tribes or Native Americans of the Northwest Coast, much has been said about location. If an Achuar of Ecuador is suffering from a serious illness, this tribesman will likely fear being removed from the jungle to an urban hospital lest the act of transplanting him might result in death. The jungle is experienced as one’s mother and lungs – it’s always been that way. A person’s psyche is rooted in the land and is refers to the rainforest as “relatives,” various forms of life coming from the same mother. To be cut off from family, therefore, would be akin to spiritual death, or even provoke a literal death.

Among the Kwakiutl, Haida, and Tsimshian, their physical home in Canada near the Pacific Ocean is much more than a location they have occupied. It is more like the foundation or the mooring of their cultural and spiritual values. They are children of that place, and once removed, they become unsettled and experience an internal clamor wanting to return to the womb. At that location called “home” every being (“all my relatives”) shares responsibility for everything. Every form of life below, on, or above the land is inseparable kin, all of whom have equal rights as well as similar responsibilities.

There is a sacred and often wordless language that may not be discernable until we settle into a deep trance. It often comes with an expanded consciousness and enlarged sense of interconnectedness. Some cultures describe this largely ineffable something as an energy, the life force. The Lakota refer to it as Skan . The Paiutes as booha . In the Islamic tradition it may be termed Waqi . Its place of residence can be everywhere, what Black Elk called the axis mundi ; the center of the universe where I am at in this moment. It is found wherever we go. And wherever we go, physically, it is possible to feel centered and connected.

These concepts may help us appreciate what Native Americans have long believed: There are no sharp boundaries between outside and inside, human and the rest of Nature, self and others, or the secular and the sacred. In fact within most indigenous cosmologies there is no secular; everything is sacred.

And this thing many of us call “self” is a very small part of the Whole and my thoughts and worries, well they are even smaller. But when I reunite with the larger self, the Vast Self (Pueblo term), I grow in opportunities for participation and strength. But first I have to get out of my own way. Then a calm can come over me, in fact, over all of “us.”

Africa is a destination for some journeyers, perhaps because that is where the four primary strains of human civilization hailed from. MDMA allows us to surmount this momentary existence and return to the place of our origins, the place where we have been anchored for thousands if not millions of years. Jung went there and felt it immediately. Everything is remembered in our human bio-computer, the brain, but not always downloaded in visuals or in immediately understandable ways.

Interestingly, many (not all) individuals ingesting MDMA -- who are not far removed from the land and interactions with the other animals – can find themselves being consciously transplanted (like being teleported ) to a different place that feels surprisingly familiar. An ancient link is restored and faint, vaguely familiar voices or faces may emerge. To travel in this way one must suspend disbelief, give space for imagination, and quietly see what might happen. Certain animals may show up during their journeys as if to say, “Don’t forget me, I am Giraffe, your sister. I can guide you.”

For this type of homecoming to occur, it is helpful to precede the ingestion of MDMA with preparations involving indigenous concepts of set and setting . Weeks of preliminary rituals allow us to be lifted into an expanded consciousness and delivered to new/old locations. If we embed the MDMA experience in ancient ceremonial practices, perhaps adding our own meaningful rituals to the mix between sessions, some ancient memories may come alive in this dimension or in the dream world.

Then familiarity with the previously unfamiliar can be striking. Something very real can be felt or known during these unique experiences, what some say feels “realer than real.” It may be that part of our DNA is being resuscitated, reinstated, or altered (epigenetics). It may be about relationships, place, purpose, and meaning.

During an MDMA experience be sure to heed, and serenely listen to, whatever arrives from deep, deep within you. If anything like that happens, announce it. At that point it will be difficult to detach from the Whole. It sticks because it feels good and it heals. Such an important memory, once it has been revived, cannot easily atrophy again.

In many indigenous cultures great value is placed on dreams and visionary experiences as they can hold healing knowledge. They are usually preceded by planned deprivation, fasting, and suffering. Frequently, a physical or emotional breakdown propels someone to head out on a journey of enlightenment before their breakthrough can transpire.

When that happens it often resembles a dismemberment . The symbolism and experience of dismemberment and then rememberment can be dramatic and painful. A part of the self is dying and wants to fall off the skeleton of our existence. It has bogged us down far too long. Once the weight of ego’s demands are dislodged -- sometimes with the help of an empathogen or entheogen -- the “old self” is literally pulled apart and discarded, and a new self is formed from the remnants, but the person is enhanced by a greater authenticity as well as a new and richer spiritual power.

By going on this “hero’s journey” the “individual” transcends the limitations of his present culture, is reconstructed, and in the process renews the larger surrounding culture. Both end up being greater and more complete than before. A few may go on to be healers, or even shamans, depending on their host culture’s support.

The celebrated Catholic theologian, Thomas Merton, after trying LSD while cradled in carefully organized set and setting , found a greater freedom and a new “calling” in his life. And he said that “…there’s no real freedom unless you go through a serious crisis which delivers you from dependence on other people.”

Truths lurk in the silence of an MDMA experience. Listening to our indigenous voice is essential. First of all, it is important to acknowledge hearing what has been said for thousands if not millions of years on the place of your most frequented existence. It may feel quite primal, quite ancient.

The voice can arise in us, usually not in the ways of language, but in the ways of spirit, or if we are fortunate, in images too, perhaps of our native land. Our salvation depends on it…to realize the full dimensions of a priestly calling, a redemptive and healing work that follows lengthy suffering and a radical listening to that “still, small voice from within.”

MDMA lowers many human walls that perpetuate the platitude of being “terminally unique.” The medicine is a form of liberation theology. Wearing this way of being with a quiet humility in turn vitalizes all our connections.

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“I sit around working on myself as an act of compassion for other people.”

- Ram Dass

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MDMA and Sound Healing

Mon, 27 Dec 2021 18:05:29 GMT

The form of “God” is energy. And the entire universe is alive, literally singing with vibrational forms of faintly audible energy.

Humans are a part of this immense choral group and can more fully unite with it by merging attitudinally and tonally.

Of the primary elements in the universe, each is associated with our many (perhaps 30+) senses: 1) fire is associated with touch and sight, 2) water is correlated with taste, 3) earth is linked with smell, and 4) wind is coupled with touch and hearing. Additionally, according to the Upanishad texts of the Vedic era, there is 5) vibration , the most subtle of all elements which is referred to as akash and linked with hearing too.

Within some ancient cosmologies on up to quantum physics, the thoughts of our minds are said to make sounds. And mind, with these attendant sounds, creates matter. Further, with clean and clear intentions, or desires, we combine with the vibratory chorus of the universe from which all matter arises and which makes our vast home even bigger, better, and more complex.

Ancient philosophy and science contend that the most fundamental sounds of Nature are recorded, or stored, as vibratory codes which were interpreted by the Siddhas (a Hindu word for shaman) as mantras . Chanting a mantra is a very deliberate act with a specific intention for an outcome. And when people chant or hum along with musical mantras, their internal life harmonizes, and with it comes improved physical and mental health. This can create a variety of outcomes from a strengthened immune system to the reduction of pain, including everything from joint and intestinal discomfort to the elimination of migraine headaches.

In recent history, quantum physicists have proposed that there is a supercharged backdrop of energy that fills up space – what was once thought of as empty parts of the universe. Humans sense and interact with all the action of subatomic particles (consciously or unconsciously) and the movement of any one drives the others ahead in what can be envisioned as quantum waves. All of these continuous movements represent an ongoing “memorization of the universe,” information that is never lost in “space.” The emergent nature of the universe – this ever-expanding knowledge repository – keeps everything growing and evolving with a potential for progress we cannot yet fully comprehend.

Amidst this intertwined universe filled with vibratory energy, there are things we can do on an individual basis to sing ourselves, and this tiny planet, forward.

Did you know that hearing music can alter your brain chemistry, increasing norepinephrine levels that are associated with a sense of wellbeing? Add to that effect by intoning (merging) your voice with a group of individuals singing a mantra (sacred sound). Connecting to something larger than yourself, using Tibetan mantras for example, can quiet the mind and take you to alpha or theta brain wave states when, fortunately, the dominant ego produced chatter of our left hemisphere slows down. At that time the right hemisphere increasingly comes online connecting you with the Greater Whole that surrounds the human self.

While humming along or singing the words of an ancient mantra, note the vibratory feeling in your throat, cranial brain, and throughout the body. Once you are more aligned and in sync with everything vibrating around you, inner peace unfolds. This is sound medicine . This is also what is meant by energy medicine or vibrational medicine , according to Richard Gerber, M.D., author of A Practical Guide to Vibrational Medicine . Or as Native Americans would say, it is good medicine . This is healing originating through the power of the mind while being propelled by sound.

If you intend to keep the growth from your MDMA session alive, give a listen, with eyes closed, to the sounds of the soundtrack from Mantras from Tibet . An immersion of as little as ten or fifteen minutes can enshroud an unpleasant day and shift your mind and body (bodymind) into harmonic resonance with the world around you. You will notice it and others will too.

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“We have now discovered that there is no such thing as matter; it is all just different rates of vibration designed by an unseen intelligence.”

- Max Plank, physicist, upon accepting the Nobel Prize for Physics

“A person doesn’t hear sound only through the ears; he hears sound through every pore of his body. It permeates the entire being.”

- Hazrat Inayat Khan, Sufi musician, healer, and mystic

“In our culture, one of our biases is that newer information and techniques are always better than older belief systems and technologies. Mounting evidence supports a variety of ancient healing systems based upon views of physiology very different from the current mainstream healing paradigm. Perhaps revisiting ancient wisdom may supply information that could result in a revolution in the field of medicine and healing. Ancient approaches to understanding disease and body healing often viewed illness from the perspective of the human spirit, or the body’s life-force energy. These somewhat mystical viewpoints may hold the key to understanding why people become ill and how they can regain their health.”

- Richard Gerber, M.D. in A Practical Guide to Vibrational Medicine

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Additional Reading:

Sound Medicine: How to Use the Ancient Science of Sound to Heal Body and Mind by Kulreet Chaudhary

Suggested Audio:

Mantras from Tibet by Sarva Antah

The Himba, Heart Fields, and MDMA

Thu, 16 Dec 2021 02:44:55 GMT

Indigenous people, with their minds quieted living close to Nature, have noticed subtle energy fields in the atmosphere, especially when humans and animals converge.

For example, the Himba of Namibia have long observed this phenomenon. They describe it like a clear bubble that surrounds each person. It holds and transmits energy. And when one person who is very calm approaches another person who is slightly agitated, the two bubbles can touch, converge as one, and the calm emotion soon pervades the whole. Calm wins out.

The remote Himba, who are constantly outdoors, experience life and its nuances more fully than people closed off in buildings while playing with their electrically charged forms of technology, their modern meaning-making and decision making devices. When you ask Hadza Bushmen of Tanzania – who still reside on the land as gatherers and hunters just like they have done for tens of thousands of years -- where their communication with others comes from, they may point to their heart, whereas a New Yorker may point to their head. It is only from the heart that we can “see” things immediately and correctly. And for Westerners, one way to shut off mind clutter and return to the heart is with MDMA, what is known among its adherents as “heart medicine.” Amazingly, it reintroduces people to inherent primal abilities that, upon their return, feel anciently familiar.

In an MDMA treatment a sacred “love triangle” is formed when professional healers carefully position their bodies, pointing their calm and loving heart energy in the direction of the patient’s upper torso as if forming a triangle. Soon a download of felt information occurs between patient and healers. When it is detected by the patient’s most intuitive organ, the heart, it stills and warms indicating a corrective healing is underway.

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While we know there are three brains inside each human – the intestinal, heart, and cranial – each one is an electrical energy producer connected to the others. What is of special interest is how the heart brain can produce an electromagnetic field that is 5,000 times stronger than the upper brain’s ability, energy that can be detected by sensitive scientific instruments up to 10 feet away. It is strongest within 18 inches which suggests much about the salience of human physical and therefore electrical intimacy, especially during a treatment.

When two energy heart fields come together as one, there are various words used to describe the event. Heart aesthesis , entrainment , and resonance refer to the moments of touch – tactile or energetically – when the soul essence of two people meet and mingle for common good.

Heart entrainment is natural throughout the animal world. To understand its significance among humans, ask any woman who has breastfed her newborn child about the powerful emotional connection that she felt during those moments. Some mothers even report seeing energy fields when the two become one, noting lights and auras. During such tender moments of bonding oxytocin is released, as also happens when MDMA is ingested, what has come to be known as the “heart medicine.”

Approximately 60 percent of heart cells are neural cells, which connect to specific centers of the upper brain (regions involved with emotional memories, sensory experience, and meaningmaking) creating a direct and unmediated flow of information. Yet the heart has a unique mind all of its own. It extends outside the human body. Researchers at HeartMath now believe it even has predictive abilities that can forewarn us of impending dangers. It is the brain of immediate perception, processing information faster than the upper brain can do. The heart is so much more than just a blood pumping organ.

When the heart sends a meaning filled message to the upper brain, it rarely comes in a string of words, but it can be comprehended deeply. That is why I believe many individuals, during MDMA treatments, emphatically say things like, “I know this to be true, a fact, it’s realer than real.”

I refer to this type of event as a knowing in a similar way as the Zuni of the American Southwest have long described intuitive ways of receiving and understanding instructive information from nontraditional sources. They got it; they still get it!

Heart aesthesis moves us from a rational and linear orientation in this rather stunted and mechanized world, to one in which the unique perceptions and emotions are not only noticed but strengthened. This way of perceiving allows us to feel things more intensely and clearly. We can get in touch with the soulfulness of the world that constantly wants to reweave us back into the fabric of life. And with the help of MDMA, often entangled foreign threads of our upper brain are cast off because they were not our way of perceiving life, rather the result of contamination by an abusive figure, maybe an emotional vampire or narcissist.

Under the healing influence of MDMA, when primal forms of seeing and comprehension can occur, it is common to see persons instinctively shaping or adjusting their energy field using their hands, particularly above the heart like they are working with something very malleable. The hands are repeatedly in motion. Sometimes their hands are open and extended upward as if a major energetic download from the universe is occurring. It likely is!

With heart aesthesis a strong unifying dynamism arises. Patients are entwined into the natural tapestry of “all our relations,” or what the Lakota Indians refer to as mitakayue oyasin . There is a blending of soul essences between people, other animals, plants, and even elemental life forces such as water or stone. All living systems work this way; they are alive with spirit and in relationship. They constitute life promoting energy originating from the same divine source, which makes us all, some might say, sacred cosmic twins. This heart driven process unifies humans with the world around them, and this is very important in a world filled with trauma and tribalism.

MDMA seems to help the body and its three brains reorganize themselves, regaining a sense of calm and harmony. And as Navajo and Hopi shamans have long taught, healing only occurs after harmonious connections with the entire world have been restored. When we cultivate this deep and often lasting connection with our heart, and the hearts of those around us, we revitalize the middle brain’s abilities of acute perception and cognition. With it the longstanding atrophy of our senses is slowed and the oldest way of being and understanding the universe and our place in it is accelerated. And with that resultant equilibrium comes peace and healing.

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MDMA and the Common Heart

Thu, 16 Dec 2021 02:13:31 GMT

“…the great nature in which we rest, as the earth lies in the soft arms of the atmosphere; that Unity, that Over-soul, within which every man’s particular being is contained and made one with all other; that common heart.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson, nineteenth century transcendentalist

In earlier writings I have addressed the ancient, African Himba tribal idea of merging heart bubbles, when the spirit of two people becomes one. Many, many years later American scientists at the HeartMath institute rediscovered this human phenomenon and referred to it as heart resonance , other researchers calling it heart aesthesis . This brief article submits that this “heart happening” can also be regarded as a “conversation” between humans and other animal relatives. This apportioning of heart energy and spirit naturally resulted from sharing the same habitat of our bigger heart, Earth and beyond, and with other creatures over millions of years. We have never fully disconnected from our environs, as much as our fears and insecurities have pushed us to do so, especially with today’s dependence on “communication” technologies.

There is a permeability to empathy. It leaks out of us in the form of an electrical impulse. It can be regarded as moving in the mysterious between what extends out of us and other beings, and connects with many life forms around us for the betterment of all. German philosopher, Martin Buber, referenced the enigmatic dialogue between humans this way: “When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.” He referred to this deeply natural and sacred relationship as the “I-Thou.” Buber said, “The divine is in you as well as me, and you discover it in relationship.” What he seemed to be suggesting was that we are all one and can realize that fact with a little social experimentation.

The heart as a brain and communication component in all animals is more than a metaphor. Emerging neuroscience presents the heart as a mindful and intuitive electrical muscle that allows us to sense message, even in circumstances when we don’t quite know, with our cranial intellect, what is happening. And this heart that is thumping in our chest should not be seen as a separate unit. It does not exist in isolation. The heart resides in multiple locations all at once as part of one big multi-locational and pulsing wave machine -- as a united, albeit scattered form of interconnected awareness. We are neither here nor there, we are everywhere on this planet and beyond – inextricably bonded. So when you swallow a heart touching and bonding medicine – MDMA—it should come as no surprise that the Over-soul is awakened and messages come to us from various life forms, “dead” and alive, and from one all-pervading location, often misunderstood as “here” and “there.”

Animals detect and study each other, and us, in amazing ways. Ants can communicate with each other via pheromones (chemicals). Elephants by seismic activity. Dolphins and Bushmen by pulsed clicks. Mycellium (mushroom) colonies have a natural internet system that can extend across hundreds of acres. Pine trees “whisper” to each other by tapping into underground fungi networks and they can warn their relatives of an approaching herbivore attack. Even bacteria communicates with animals.

All of this can be referred to as the superlanguage – a nonverbal, nonlinguisitc and very basic way of understanding one another – from ant to hippopotamus. It is Nature’s primal language that predates every species currently in existence on or under Earth.

This “song of the wild,” as Bernie Krause, a bioacoustician, reflects Earth’s soundscape. There is a collective chorus of creatures that create localized and extended “biophanies,” natural symphonies that preceded human music. Some indigenous groups, when playing their music, use the jungle as kind of back-up band. Krause says some people living in Amazonian rainforests have created music that has no doubt been influenced by a bird like the musician wren . This bird whistles a tune that sounds like a flute playing the blues, and so do the people. They form a connection, a relationship, and ultimately a chorus. With awareness and participation (not just passively watching a National Geographic documentary on TV) the concept of individuality starts to dissolve.

Some of the sounds from our common heart falls below the human range of conscious awareness. But it does get registered. If you are near a horse, it can detect the sound and pulse of your heartbeat up to four feet away. Horse can synchronize its own heartbeat to a human’s -- like the Himba tribe and the HeartMath institute say people can do -- and to a trained equine therapist. Horse signals an imminent change in the client even before the therapist detects it in the human. So who is the therapist? Who has the most developed empathy skills?

Now, let’s go one step further. If we are all connected relatives, mitakuye oyasin as the Lakota say, perhaps by more consciously joining the fold, we may find therapy via Nature. A new psychology has formed that addresses this phenomenon of mutuality. It is called ecotherapy . It asserts that true healing, especially when done outdoors, works in both directions, bi-directionaly. By interacting more with Nature, humans heal more effectively.

And this reminds me of the words of one of my first professors, psychiatrist Jonas Robitscher who I have quoted countless times. Jonas defined effective psychotherapy this way: “Effective therapy is an engagement of two people that leaves both changed. If only one changes, therapy has been a failure.” Extrapolating from his perspective an ecopsychologist would say that engagement with Nature is about merging with our extended family by daring to set foot in a forest.

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Dr. Dolittle: ‘ow come I can hear you talking?

Lucky, the dog: I dunno. Maybe you’re just weird or something.

Dr. Dolittle: Shut up. You’re a dog. DOGS CANNOT TALK.

Lucky: What the hell do you think barking is, an involuntary spasm?

--Dr. Dolittle (1998 Film Version)

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Additional Reading:

Our Wild Calling: How Connecting with Animals Can Transform Our Lives and Save Theirs by Richard Louv

The Kogi of Columbia, the "Elder Brothers"

Wed, 15 Dec 2021 00:23:01 GMT

The Kogi of Columbia, the “Elder Brothers”

In 2019 I scheduled a trek into the high elevations of Colombia’s Sierra Nevada Mountains to visit the deliberatively isolated Kogi, the most complete surviving civilization of pre-Columbian America. At that time they had a message for me to deliver to the “Younger Brothers” of modern cultures: If you do not change your parasitic and destructive way of living on the Mother, She may throw all of us off Her back, perhaps with a plague or another apocalyptic force.

The original trip to receive the warning was ominously interrupted by the Covid pandemic. On December 4th of 2021, after meticulous health precautions, I set out in search of the spiritual leader (Mama) of a very remote Kogi community. It turned out to be one of the most physically rigorous and spiritually important adventures of my life.

Backing up in time, well before my trip, a 1990 BBC and award winning documentary producer, Alan Ereira, made contact with this same tribe. His charge was to receive and disseminate a message to help us realize that if we failed to understand the consequences of our technologically driven and earthdetached way of life, there would be egregious consequences to humankind.

The Kogi -- descendants of the ancient Tairona culture -- have long observed how intruders continuously represented a threat to them, to their very existence. So meeting with Ereria was considered a desperate attempt to garner cooperation from the industrialized populations living below them.

Ereira’s remarks about the Kogi were pointed and terse. He straightforwardly interpreted the Kogi’s view of us as moral idiots, greedy beyond comprehension, concerned only with immediate gratification. We are regarded as primitive and backward, unable to think on our own or communicate with the spirit world. Our manmade technologies substitute for original thinking which keeps us detached from the guiding Mother.

This farming culture believes they must maintain a strict barrier between them and people living at lower elevations. In Ereira’s book, The Heart of the World , he described the Kogi as mysterious people in hiding. They feared outsiders who would likely, as history showed, push them from their mountain haven and further pillage their sacred cultural artifacts. As a result, the Kogi developed a culture of silence and secrecy. Communication with the lower world was strictly forbidden. Their way of life had to be strictly concealed. Today that is changing, slightly.

Some of the most traditional communities are on the unvisited backside and at the highest altitude of a national park. Through an enlarged consciousness from their home atop the world, the Kogi assert Younger Brother is undermining the natural balance and survival of the planet, physically and morally. They regard their role as being guardians of the world, residing on what they believe is Mother’s pulsing heart.

Much of the region’s wildlife has been pushed upslope where it can safely coexist alongside the Kogi who do not hunt. The result is an unnatural game preserve. The tribe’s homeland has evolved into something like an historical and philosophical preserve. And what the Kogi observe from this sentinel vantage point is the retreat of ice fields, lakes that have dried up, vegetation now growing in foreign places, but not a jaguar to be seen.

With this backdrop I was bewildered upon learning the area Mama was willing to receive me, the first American to ever visit the village. One of my tasks, as the spiritual leader described it, was to carry their urgent message to large groups.

Some restraints were placed on my assignment. Details of their location, for instance, would prudently be left unidentified. Voyeuristic and scavenging Westerners might find ways to climb to their communities only to result in this, their last sanctuary, being trashed like the valleys below. The name of the Mama will also be left out of my writings and speeches so as to discourage people from trying to visit him.

Being a very quiet and isolated people, they are loath to come down from the mountain and approach the Younger Brothers and their mechanized world. Their gaze, unlike ours, is not to screens and distracting toys, but to the physical environment – our very real Mother. But today they do cautiously concede our technology could possibly be used for protective purposes.

One day at sundown, as blood sucking mosquitos swarmed around the Mama and myself, he casually waved them away. He likened the insects to modern human extractive practices and our addiction to distracting technologies.

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Ancient stone formations with carvings dating back to the Tairona era still exist. The Mama led me to a heavily forested area and quietly enjoined me to assist him in pulling away years of vegetation that enshrouded an astonishing archaeological relic that previously was kept hidden from the world.

The antiquity was about five feet high by three feet wide and revealed carved symbols identifying ancient ancestors, esteemed leaders whose spirits and skeletal remains rest just below snowcapped peaks. A reverent ceremony was performed. Together we sang in the ancient Tairona language, summoning the ancestor’s presence, honoring sacred old ways, and committing ourselves to protecting Mother going forward.

Upon viewing the stone artifact from my knees – what the Mama instructor called a “book” that retained ancient memories -- I was asked to transmit my intentions and deliberations into two small stones he placed in my hands. Later, with my thoughts being absorbed by the rock, the stones were inserted into a fissure that would merge my thinking with the knowledge of the long departed elders. My pledges would become part of a living and expanding memory on the mountain suggesting how generations past, present, and future would work collectively for a magnanimous cause, the preservation of all life forms on this planet.

The mountains are regarded as energetic links to an enormous layered universe - - above and below. Each family hut has two wooden stakes projecting from the roof that face in the direction of two prominent sacred peaks and a connecting piece between the stakes. The symbolism is significant: we must all merge with powers beyond our imagination. But clarifying visions, born of meditations, must be attempted. We are to recognize our primeval connections and how one weak link can cause the world to crumble.

I submit, admittedly with slight embarrassment, the reason the Mama chose to share the Kogi history, mission, and relics with me was because of what the Mama perceived as an “evolved energy” sensed before and immediately upon my arrival. This occurred without looking into my eyes but for a few brief moments, as that is not his primary way of divining information. Instead he sat quietly nearby stirring water in a bowl awaiting clearness.

It is the Mama’s worldview, if humans fall out of harmony due to their inattentiveness, sickness certainly follows and people may be cast off Mother, much like a pandemic might ensure. If we maintain the current posture of defiance rather than defense of nature’s functions, personal and worldly destruction will commence.

Mamas are regarded as the enlightened ones of the tribe and recognize from their urgent viewpoint unified help is required to sustain nature’s balance. He asked for my support and from all those I could reach.

This culture aligns itself with a vast guiding intelligence, Aluna , an ordering and regulating consciousness. Aluna is the Mother of all, the essential life force infused in all planetary life. She allows the Kogi to think in far-reaching cosmic terms, remembering the past, and recognizing patterns that illuminate an ethically sustainable future.

Each adult male carries a poporo in his hands, a gourd filled with baked and ground sea shells that yield lime. They continuously probe and stroke the gourd -- a form of meditation. Frequently the stirring stick is licked when the lime activates a wad of coca leaves under their lips. The repetitious process has a meditative and stimulating effect.

The chemical combination is seen as a medicine for their high altitude environs. Imbibing it they can walk for miles on steep trails carrying heavy loads, rarely succumbing to fatigue. With the mind remaining active, time can be spent meditating for very long periods, aligning one’s small self with the giant universe and primordial forces. One young man recalled going five days without sleep and with little appetite while remaining very active.

They remain steadfast to an age-old and transcendent belief system passed on by an oral tradition. It is continuously contemplated, kept alive through evening discussions in a dark ceremonial hut and through private divination with poporo in hand. Aluna creates a connecting bridge between human spirit and the entire universe. This mysticism could easily be dismissed as superstition by contemporary society because of our short term memory and limited planning. From their perspective, high in the Sierra Nevada Range, a quiet certainty lives on. This is a culture that reveres the Mother and is holding out for moral solutions to the declining health of the planet.

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My Kogi interpreter was the third child, a male, of an anticipated seven offspring. In that sequence, immediately upon birth, a child is whisked away to a cave where it is left unattended in the dark. The numbers portend a Mama is in the making. Accordingly, if the infant strongly survives the first night, thereafter he will be isolated in a hut for nine years.

There, in continuous darkness, his teachers and appointed caregivers – which may not include parents – will guide his visionary development. Traveling in the dreamworld, the initiate learns never to confuse the physical world with the Real World – the greater consciousness of Aluna . With primordial lessons learned, he emerges well on his way to being a Mama. Feeling an overwhelming awe over what was once only imagined, it is now seen in its florid magnificence. Thereafter he devotes a lifetime to reverently protecting Mother and all Her inhabitants.

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I hope readers will be inclined to regularly step back from addictive technologies and spend increased time outdoors. Listen carefully while surrounded by silence and in darkness. You may feel reassurance recognizing you are an integral part of something immense, a life sustaining energy, Aluna . The recipient of expanded consciousness.

As disease and climate change ravage the planet and its inhabitants I, like the Kogi, search for hope. My thoughts go to Jane Goodall who reminds me that each of us has a role to play in our planet’s survival, no matter how small. Every day we can impact Mother’s health by thoughtful acts. And the cumulative effect of millions of small ethical actions can make a difference. Join the Kogi movement.

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Additional Reading:

The Elder Brothers: A Lost South American People and Their Wisdom by Alan Eriera

MDMA and Epiphanies

Sat, 11 Dec 2021 04:47:33 GMT

Being administered pure, clinical grade MDMA is likely to reduce symptoms of trauma, post-traumatic stress, and post-traumatic stress disorder, especially when relationship issues gave rise to the pain.

Many persons, however, report an additional reward from the medicinal experience, namely a profound spiritual awakening. It results in a radical departure from old and inefficient ways of being in the world. In their place are new emotions and beliefs that tend to be very clear sighted and uplifting, what some call an epiphany.

One of the most fascinating factors is how suddenly a shift can occur. In his book, The Holy Shit Moment: How Lasting Change Can Happen in an Instant , James Fell somewhat lightheartedly looks at the elements that comprise a rapid psychological transformation. Fell finds himself in agreement with Oliver Wendell Holmes who said, “A moment’s insight is sometimes worth a life’s experience.”

For a life-changing holy shit moment to strike, you need to have many pieces of the puzzle, and possible solutions, floating in your brain all at once. When they are in the mix and congeal under the influence of the medicine, an internal wisdom frequently arises. This capacity is built into us and can be fertilized. Hence all the handouts and books that are assigned pre-epiphany. The ideas are put on standby, incubating, ready to be tapped when the ego (left-brain activity) quiets down thanks to the medicine. Then the big picture perspective suddenly shows up as an aha! moment , a new story comes online and the rest is a reset of history. It can arrive in quiet subtle form or as a BAM!

As a result of an enlightening vision that comes beyond cognition , dramatic mental reorganization can occur. It is not about a rational and analytical decision as much as it is an awakening. You have now gone beyond the old and ineffective pattern of analysis paralysis . It is when the rigid controls of the left-brain are relaxed by the medicine, lightning can strike. In fact, it strikes more often when we aren’t working on a problem, often when distracted from the problem. Relational solutions tend to show up at unfocused times, when walking the dog or, like Einstein noticed, during the dreams of our sleep.

I’ll quote Fell directly as he gets right to the point: “While a life-changing epiphany feels like it is something that happens to you, the preparatory work, along with your life experiences and deepest desires and understanding of your true self, help ensure it was something coming from you. This isn’t an outside agency acting upon your brain; this is your brain .” With it comes an overwhelming feeling of clarity and rightness .

A deep set of truths from deep within have been unleashed. And this is why the shift in perspective and feeling lasts – because it resonates so well with our deepest self.

It’s not that the medicine lingers in your system for months or years, it is that a bigger and more accurate worldview gets a foothold and serves to guide you well thereafter.

We also know that a hopeful and positive mood can stimulate an epiphany. That’s the generative result of the chemicals released by your body – the amphetamine, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and norepinephrine. They are the chemical part of a complex substrate – the underlying marinade and foundation for an epiphany of wisdom to rise up.

Common takeaways sound like this: “Oh shit, man! I don’t want to be that person anymore!” Or, for a religious person it may sound like, “I don’t believe this is what God put me on Earth for.” It is an overwhelming sense that the ground has shifted beneath you and now you are on more solid footing. So when a quantum leaping rhinoceros crashes down on an epiphany landing pad, it’s going to make an impression.

In William Miller’s book, Quantum Change, he explains there is a bimodal distribution , by which he means the epiphany on one end of a continuum is filled with “insightful” conclusions, while on the other end is marked by something “mystical.” Curiously, most of the people Miller wrote about who had this kind of experience weren’t often religious. And none of them described a return to an old way of being! They were done with it. Moving on.

The point of this handout is to extend an invitation to your epiphany. If you desire such an outcome, a pilgrimage is in order – one occurring in your mind as you read and study ahead of time, the other when you board the plane to come to Charleston, London, Boulder, or Des Moines. Set out for new territory of mind and body and see what happens.

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“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”

- John A. Shedd

“Good sailors are made after being on rough waters.”

- Zimbabwean proverb

“Life is a series of collisions with the future.”

- Jose’ Ortega y Gasset in Meditations on Quixote.

“One does not become fully human painlessly.”

- Rollo May, psychologist

“A mind is a system of ideas, each with the excitement it arouses, and with tendencies impulsive and inhibitive, which mutually check or reinforce one another…But a new perception, a sudden emotional shock, or an occasion which lays bare the organic alteration, will make the whole fabric fall together; and then the center of gravity sinks into an attitude more stable; for the new ideas that reach the center in the rearrangement seem now to be locked there, and the new structure remains permanent.”

- William James, father of psychology, circa 1936

“Examine your life. And it will never be the same, because when epiphany arrives, the real self and all its accompanying values of your true identity are unleashed from the false cage you [previously] constructed around it to get through each day.”

- James Fell in The Holy Shit Moment!

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Getting to Know Anxiety

Fri, 10 Dec 2021 04:29:04 GMT

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is the nervous and unsettled tendency to worry, to look ahead apprehensively with a feeling of dread and foreboding, with unexplained or unwarranted fears. It is also a physiological reaction: a frightening pounding of the heart, sweating, hand trembling, foot twitching, weepy tearfulness, jerky motions, nervous tics, etc.

What else does anxiety do to us? It seems to interfere with sleep, causes us to be more irritable and angry than usual, easily distracts us so we can’t focus well, causes us to retreat into ourselves for a feeling of safety, and reduces our self-confidence.

What causes anxiety? For some it is caused by a chaotic or dangerous home environment, perhaps a traumatic situation where abuse is observed, experienced, or both. It can be the result of parental instability; maybe the fear their folks will divorce and they will be abandoned. Sometimes it is caused by social discomfort, what is called social anxiety , when we get nervous in new or crowded situations thinking we don’t quite measure up to others.

Very frequently, however, it is the result of an inherited brain anomaly. The lower region of the brain – the deep limbic system – may be revved up in the amygdala (fear response center) and the basal ganglia (anxiety production center) regions. Too much electrical stimulation of this area is frequently the culprit and needs to be calmed, either neurologically (electrically) and/or biologically (nutrients or meds). When this neighborhood of the brain is agitated, a negative mood state sets in and we “cop an attitude” or get depressed. And it blows a circuit in the upper brain region, particularly the frontal lobe , where crisp thinking occurs. When the lower brain is too “hot,” it can shut off our good thinking abilities until we can calm ourselves down. Then we seem to get smart again.

Can this be changed? Yup! Even if a person inherits a hyperactive deep limbic system it can be retrained, bringing it back to a normal functioning state again, and again, and again. Eventually the brain relents and neuroplasticity occurs, namely, a reset of brain activity happens. This takes a while. We can also do it with mind power, meditation being one example. Some people calm the brain by calming the body, yoga and aerobic exercise being great examples. Others have found profound relief from Alpha-stim treatments, a safe microcurrent stimulation of the lower brain region.

Do anxiety and depression occur together? Yes, more often than not because they are like first cousins. And when we get a handle on one, the other settles down. It is best when there is a dietary and exercise program in place that deals with both at once – a “tag team” approach. Fortunately, natural treatment remedies are now understood to be legitimate and very effective, as effective as pharmaceuticals with all their side effects and great expense. Many of the nutrients have virtually no negative impact, and some even have unrelated side benefits .

Are physical and cognitive ailments (poor thinking) linked to anxiety? Absolutely!

Often the symptoms of anxiety are misunderstood as serious physical ailments when they are not. Highly anxious persons have more physical symptoms than other folks. In part, this is because they become anxiously watchful. More hyperalert than others, they commonly spot bodily signs or disturbances very early on. We call this somaticizing .

Here is how it works: I get nervous (which is apprehension about bad things happening), I sense tightness in my body (maybe my breath, my muscles, my heart, etc.), and I worry that it may be the sign of a serious illness. My focus goes to the spot that is “wearing” my mental anxiety. This concentrated attention actually aggravates the symptomatic condition and I head to the doctor’s office. Interestingly, the reverse happens too; relaxation and joy diminish physical symptoms, even pain. So how we think can deceive us and worsen how we feel physically.

Now, here is the kicker. We go to the doc with very real symptoms. She/he examines us and says, “Sorry but I can’t find anything wrong with you. Maybe we need to do more testing or you need to see a specialist.” We go to another doc still feeling crappy and a bit frustrated, again nothing is discovered. The mistaken conclusion many folks make is, “He’s saying it’s all in my head; I’m a whiner, or worse yet, a wacko.”

Curiously, when the anxiety diminishes the body can take care of itself better. When our mental radar isn’t set on high alert, very real symptoms dissolve into nothing. The good news is this means that with a good intellect we can control many of our ailments. We can take control of much of our health. We just need to know the body’s psychosomatic system, that is, how we are connected top to bottom, how nervousness can cause actual aches and pains, intestinal problems, even things like temporary paralysis (freezing up). And we must beware of shallow people who carelessly say, “Oh, it’s all in your head honey, you need a psychiatrist.” No! It is more likely you need a health coach and your friends may need some counseling.

Do clients resist this therapeutic approach? Only all the time. They need good information and sufficient time to reflect before they start messing around with their brain, their thinking, and their body. And, what is also interesting is that when folks are depressed and anxious, their thinking is only about one third as accurate as it normally is. When anxiety and depression diminish, people feel smarter; the truth is, their brain is just more online. So it is a good idea to allow the computer to go online for you before swallowing any wild ideas, or any pharmaceuticals or supplements. Let the literature help you make a decision on your schedule.

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Antidepressant Withdrawl

Fri, 10 Dec 2021 03:59:12 GMT

Antidepressant withdrawal can be hellish

Depending on the half-life of the drug, the onset of withdrawal discomfort can occur in just a few hours, or it may be slightly delayed by up to a few days once the last capsule has been taken.

With a drug like Effexor – one of the worst offenders – severe withdrawal symptoms can occur with lightning speed. Missing just one daily dose can cause a person to immediately plunge into darkness, and like a heroin addiction, the patient is desperate to get back on the drug. Symptoms usually peak within seven to ten days and clear within two to three weeks. The restoration of overall brain health, including the ability for brain cells to readjust, however, may take six months to a year. *

Jake said, “I felt like a zombie. I now understand that this feeling, along with my impulsivity, was symptomatic of my Paxil withdrawal.” Jake’s out of character behavior during his withdrawal was not reflective of who he was, rather, what he was going through. That was an important insight for him as his longstanding recovery from depression progressed. Thinking he was insane could have put him back on the drug dependency train.

The list of withdrawal symptoms experienced is incredibly wide, erroneously suggesting to many patients that they are succumbing to a major mental illness. No, their body is fighting to regain homeostasis, their hypothalamus is working overtime to restore a natural and steady state. Here is a partial list of symptoms documented in the professional literature:

Psychiatric Symptoms

• Crying spells

• Worsened moods

• Insomnia

• Heightened anxiety and panic attacks

• Feeling detached, removed, or unreal

• Irritability, agitation, short temper, rudeness

• Aggressiveness

• Self-harm

• Nightmares

• Fatigue, lethargy, malaise

• Dramatic mood swings

• Manic-like reactions

• Impulsivity

Sensory/Neurological Abnormalities

• Numbness, burning, tingling

• Electric zap-like sensations

• Ringing or other noises in the ears

• Restless legs

• Twitching of the lips and mouth

• Jittery, shaking, tremors

• Headaches

• Dizziness, motion sickness, unsteady gait

• Spinning feeling, swaying, lightheaded

Gut Reactions, Mimicking Gastroenteritis

• Nausea

• Diarrhea

• Abdominal pain or cramps

• Stomach bloating

• Vomiting

• Flu-like aches and pains, fever, sweats and chills

Cognitive Disturbances

• Confusion

• Slow to process information

• Memory problems or forgetfulness

• Auditory or visual hallucinations

• Abnormal visual sensations

Other Symptoms

• Slurred speech

• Blurred vision

• Muscle cramps

• Drooling, excessive saliva

• Abnormal smells or tastes

This is the definition of a hellish withdrawal , a time when few other health (physical and mental) adjustments should be made.

Flushing antidepressant and antianxiety medications out of the body takes several routes – urination, defecation, sweating, or chelation. Chelation is the expelling of toxins and functional psychiatry and nutritional literature suggest the natural antidepressant, sam-e (the amino acid methionine), enhances the chelation expulsion process.

* L-glutathione – an amino acid and powerful antioxidant -- is thought to assist in cell growth, particularly in the brain.

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NOTE: If you are in a relationship and undergoing antidepressant or antianxiety withdrawal, share this information with your partner and physician.

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Additional Reading:

The Antidepressant Solution: A Step-by-Step Guide to Safely Overcoming Antidepressant Withdrawal, Dependence, and Addiction by Joseph Glenmullen, MD, Harvard University professor of psychiatry

MDMA and the Mayan Calendar

Thu, 09 Dec 2021 03:25:46 GMT

There is a cosmic plan in place that guides our personal and societal evolution.

It is revealed in your Mayan prophecy which is based on your birth-day energy matched with your energy on the day of your conception.

To begin to understand the Mayan cosmology, one must have a rudimentary understanding of the human brain, the Mayan concept of a Galactic Underworld, the polarities of the brain – left and right, upper and lower regions that cause dualistic thinking -- plus the Hopi One World, and the climb of the Divine Cosmic Pyramid.

I’ll begin with a reminder that the lower brain (deep limbic system, seat of emotions) can become so activated that it protectively acts like a circuit breaker at times, shutting down the upper brain , namely the prefrontal cortex (the discerning, clear thinking part of the brain). And a second reminder, the left brain is our dualistic thinker, the part of us which, in kneejerk fashion, places things in “factual” categories and judgments that are black and white, right and wrong. The left-brain is like the guard at the fortress wall keeping dangerous enemies outside. The right brain, however, is more intuitive, global, and welcoming. It helps us to see beyond the ever-threatened ego, creating a cosmological picture that is more trusting, less defensive, and less walled off.

Now I’d like to build on the previous theories with the help of Swedish biologist, Carl Johann Calleman, who has written The Mayan Calendar and the Transformation of Consciousness . I have selected a number of quotes from that book which pull all of the above concepts together, including the way trauma can influence our lives:

“The Galactic Underworld that we are now entering is fundamentally about healing, about creating balance both on a global and an individual scale. It is about unifying the East and West, intuition and logic, spirit and matter. It is also about unifying body and soul and healing the traumas that prevent us from being fully in the present. To allow this to happen, we must choose paths consistent with the wavelike evolution of this Underworld. We are presented with a choice as to whether we want to integrate or oppose new and unfamiliar energies.”

“The main path provided by the Galactic Underworld is thus toward wholeness and love, and this is charted at the level of consciousness. With the onset of the Fourth World, the beginning of a balance between the left- and right-brain hemispheres gave rise to the beginning of balance between men and women, and between adults and children.”

“The mind can’t rest in the present; instead it oscillates between the past [traumas] and the future [threats], always looking for ways to change things. It is not intent on being but on becoming and so leaves no room for peace or satisfaction.”

“The traumatic events in our early childhood really did cause pain at the time, but the only reason that a trauma of early childhood still influences us is that is being used by the left-brain dominated mind. The modern mind, we may recall, lets our past dominate [and ruin] our present.”

“Healing is essentially about going back to a point in our lives prior to the time that the dualistic mind came to dominate. As this mind is preoccupied with making judgments and evaluations, it creates a universe of ‘right’ and ‘wrong;’ it must be ‘right’ about the past and its traumatic events, and so one is unable to forgive either others or oneself.”

“In two significant ways, the qualities of the right-brain hemisphere support forgiveness. First, they allow you to trust your own intuition, which is of the rightbrain hemisphere. Trusting your intuition is really about trusting yourself, your whole being, sometimes in the face of almost constant, distorted, left-brain chattering. Hence healing is possible if we can transcend the linear time of the left brain [one role of MDMA or psilocybin].”

“There is also a judgmental side to this dualistic mind that inhibits the flow of love. If you and everyone else are constantly judged by this mind, how can you allow yourself and others to be fully who you and they are? How can you fully accept and love someone else, let alone yourself, with a dichotomous mind that was designed to be separate and causes further separations? Can a person who is only half love, love herself fully?”

“Only the person who has freed himself of the dominance of the left-brain hemisphere can allow the whole person, and the whole world, to be. If the dualistic mind is ruling at the present time it will not bring love into your life.”

“Only the person who has freed himself of the dominance of the left-brain hemisphere can allow the whole person, and the whole world, to be. If the dualistic mind is ruling at the present time it will not bring love into your life.”

~Carl Johann Calleman, The Mayan Calendar and the Transformation of Consciousness

“The truth emerging is that the energies described by the Mayan calendars define the limits of human creativity at any given time . Regardless of the energies that temporarily rule the cosmic time plan, they are first and foremost subordinated to its end result of enlightenment, and no matter what we think or visualize we cannot do anything to change this fact. The cosmic plan is beyond the range of human manipulation. The answer is that understanding the over-arching cosmic plan is part of our own evolution into cocreators with the Divine. To be cocreators , we need to know what the canvas [individual prophecy] we are to work on looks like and what its format is. If we choose to surf on the cosmic plan, we had better know what it is. At the present time the traditional Mayan calendars play a key role in providing knowledge about the plan, and its dissemination is crucial for how things end up for humanity.”

“The good thing about the present situation is that we are living in an Underworld (since the beginning of the Fourth World, calculated to be 1947) that is designed step by step to generate a more unitary outlook on life, and so we need to let the two opposing dualities merge rather than engage in their respective dominance games.”

“From the description of the cosmic plan by the Mayan calendars, we also have an answer to why the emergence of the hippie movement was one of the later signs predicted in the Hopi Prophecy. The shamans or prophets of this people were able to be in resonance with the energies of the cosmic time plan and to ‘see’ the directions in which it would lead. It led them to see a shift towards aspects of the cosmos mediated through the right-brain hemisphere. They were able to see the coming of ‘flower children.’ The only reason that such prophecies, precognitions, premonitions, and miraculously filled ideas exist is because there is a cosmic plan.”

“The road to peace involves creating peace within ourselves, between our brain hemispheres, and then projecting peace externally so that we may all evolve.”

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Additional Reading:

Quantum Science of Psychedelics: The Pineal Gland, Multidimensional Reality, and Mayan Cosmology and

The Purposeful Universe: How Quantum Theory and Mayan Cosmology Explain the Origin and Evolution of Life, both by Carl Johan Calleman

Depressed Cognitions

Thu, 09 Dec 2021 02:58:17 GMT

A slow slide into depression is often accompanied by a surreptitious change in our thought processes. Our cognitions, namely the way we think, often become inaccurate and distorted.

It is during a time of depression that no major life changes should be made because our judgment might be errant. A bona fide depression will almost surely impair our judgment, coloring it with emotions.

Thirteen of the most common thinking errors I have noticed in my private practice are the following:

1) SELECTIVE ABSTRACTION

This is when we focus on one or two facts that are disconnected from the whole, to the exclusion of many others, lifting them out of context, and drawing flimsy conclusions from them. EXAMPLE: My husband routinely talks to the neighbor lady, I suspect they are engaged in a sexual affair. After all, lately we haven’t been very sexual.

2) MAXIMIZING NEGATIVES

Much like selective abstraction, this involves the tendency to magnify the salience of an unsettling fact or event while filtering out positive information. EXAMPLE: There is a tornado watch in effect for tonight; I can’t handle one more tragedy.

3) CATSTROPHIZING

Blowing events out of proportion. The expectation that a current problem – one that most people regard as serious, but not emergent-- will escalate into a major calamity. EXAMPLE: If we don’t impeach the current president now, democracy will be lost forever and I’ll have to move back to Canada as fast as possible.

4) POLARIZED THINKING

Seeing things all one way or all the other. Events are regarded as black and white with little gray room for mistakes or deviations. With it, there is a tendency to label people and events dichotomously; they are right or wrong. EXAMPLE: A Hispanic woman killed an Iowan; all nonCaucasians must be put in internment camps.

5) OVERGENERALIZATION

Making a broad conclusion based on a single event or situation. EXAMPLE: My wife was unfaithful to me in the past year of marriage and, as a result, I have learned a lot about the unreliability and infidelity of women. They can’t be trusted.

6) EMOTIONAL REASONING

When the brain’s deep limbic system is revved up, the prefrontal (good judgment) center shuts down, much like a circuit breaker effect. Solid logic gets left out of decision making. EXAMPLES: I have this strong feeling that things are only gonna get worse from this point forward. Or, I trust my gut and I’m feeling quite down-in-the-dumps about my situation. It’s hard to feel like anything is ever going to get better.

7) PROJECT EMOTIONAL CONCLUSIONS

Believing something is wrong because I am feeling uncomfortable emotions. This often applies to what others are thinking and feeling. We often project our fears and worries onto others and rush to errant conclusions. EXAMPLE: I could tell by the way my boss looked at me that she was terribly disappointed in me and my days at the company are numbered.

8) PERSONALIZING

It is all about me, totally my fault. I must apologize – and maybe apologize for apologizing so much -- as I know that too annoys people. EXAMPLE: If only I had visited my mother more before she died, especially in that last year, life for her would have been less painful, and for my siblings too. I’ll never be able to make things right for them.

9) FATALISTIC PERSECUTION

The depressed person may think of themselves as a victim of others, or of life in general. They feel like their fate is in the hands of others, or outer forces. Some believe everything happens for a reason. EXAMPLE: There were too many gays living in New Orleans and that is why Katrina struck that area so hard. I submit to the Master Plan.

10) BLAMING

With an agitated depression grumpiness can show up as excessive cynicism, judgment, shaming, and blaming. The world can become an enemy. EXAMPLE: If there were fewer ignorant people on this planet maybe there would be helluva lot less crime.

11) SHOULDA/OUGHTA

I must do this. I ought to try that. Life is a prescription waiting to be filled. Ironclad rules apply to much of life. And the power source originates outside of me. EXAMPLE: I must go to Mass every day and pray for forgiveness before my life will get any better.

12) FALACY OF CHANGE

We need to focus on changing others so that our happiness can be achieved. EXAMPLE: I’m pushing my husband to go to AA meetings and to see a counselor; that will eventually give me the peace I seek.

13) FAULTY COMARISONS

Believing your situation is substantially worse than other people’s without a full inquiry. You may discount the positives while rely heavily on “should” statements. EXAMPLE: I think my lot in life has been shortchanged; everyone else seems to be so much happier than I am.

REMEDY: One possible intervention during a depressed period is to imagine a Wise Elder or Wise Advocate , perhaps a loving and very candid grandpa or grandma, someone who has always wanted what is best for you. What would they say about your current predicament?

If a person immediately popped up in your mind, acknowledge that calming presence still resides in you and can be accessed. Imagine asking them (actually your historically informed self) to remind you of the big picture and to name missing factors from your equations. Do this out loud as it helps guarantee sensibleness when we hear our own words. This process allows you to step out of the depressing predicament for a moment and entertain another person’s way of thinking. Their seasoned judgment, matched with compassion, can gently nudge you in an old and more accurate way of appraising your situation. And when you get there thank yourself, out loud, for redirecting your previously errant thinking.

While using the Wise Advocate one patient would say to himself: “I know that this is one of those deceptive-brain-message feelings and it will go away within an hour or within the day, but definitely, it will go away.” The more you take the Wise Advocate out to exercise, the stronger it becomes. This literally rewires your brain with time and your brain becomes a better ally.

The process is like standing back, detaching a bit, and observing your thinking more clearly. In a way, this is self-compassion in action. And another result is that we come to a greater trust in ourselves to resolve difficult issues.

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Additional Reading:

You are Not Your Brain by Jeffrey Schwartz

MDMA as a Rite of Passage

Thu, 09 Dec 2021 02:32:17 GMT

All indigenous cultures have, or once had, customary rites of passage

Rites of passage were transformational experiences, or initiations, that took individuals from one way of life to another. A rite of passage was a meaningful and community supported ceremony, with many dramatizing rituals, that served to guide and facilitate a person as they shifted into a new and more evolved way of existence.

Rites of passage invite and welcome us into new territory in a time of enhanced understanding and personal power. Such ceremonies almost always symbolize death and rebirth motifs. Some people think of it as an epochal time to be reborn, or brought into a new and healthier form.*

An MDMA or safe psilocybin ceremony is intended to create an energizing time that can lift people up to higher realms of thinking and being. As Mayans say, it is a formal time to lift one’s heart. Others might say it is to reboot them, returning to a forgotten, healing mindset that society has slowly melted away. By recapturing the lost essence of the spiritual world, including slowed and circular time, a person is reminded of his origins so that he can see his future. And in that future of personalized evolution there are new (forgotten) dimensions of reality that help us mature and see the world with greater clarity and vision, as well as to become a part of the Whole.

Rites of passage, to be effective, are preceded by a time of deprivation, like a fast. They are usually conducted away from the hubbub of a city and closer to quiet unpopulated areas, away from home and the routines of the constraining familiar. A sacred sentiment surrounds the entire event as the purpose is to foster human development and tug the world along with the aspirant’s small but integral role in the wider process. Repetitive music encourages an altered state and serves to contain the event. Rites of passage are first and foremost for the community, and after that, the individual. It is helpful to have several persons bearing witness to this event so as to sacralize it – to make it sacred and memorable.

On the individual level, these events help craft a new and larger personal identity, moving away from a puny egoic image of self-importance and accomplishment, to a more community-based personhood. They challenge an individual to risk, face fears and regrets, trusting that in the end they will be empowered by the process.

Initiations, like an MDMA ceremony, help participants find their inner core, their personal beliefs, and understand their unfolding ethics and values. At the same time, the initiation helps them learn who they were long ago. All humans must grow into a global identity, but such a huge growth surge often needs a catalyst – often this occurs following a shakeup, one I call a necessary trauma .

David Oldfield captured an important aspect of this head-to-heart ceremony. He wrote: “The [Elders] teach us that rites of passage impart a form of selfunderstanding that is felt in the heart rather than learned in the head…In ancient cultures, people understood that the wisdom of the heart is accessed by the imagination; that imagination is the thought of the heart . (my italics)” So it isn’t so important what we think as how we think; it is a process of transformation when a person moves that long distance – eighteen inches – from the head to the heart.

An important part of the completion of any hero’s sacred journey is the obligation to return home with a willingness to share with the community lessons learned while on pilgrimage. It is often referred to as the time of return and contribution . One cycle has been completed – you go from vulnerable victim to the mentor of those rising up behind you.

Your MDMA treatment is the beginning, your initiation underway. This is a process, not a moment in time, and it requires regularly feeding and fuel that come by way of ongoing rituals. Mayan shamans have borrowed the term encaminarse from the Spanish language to describe this continuing transformation. The word means “to start walking” or to “get on one’s way.” That is your guidance.

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“Once a problem is solved, its simplicity is amazing.”

- Paulo Coelho in The Pilgrimage

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* “The birth trauma, as an archetype of transformation, floods with considerable emotional effect the brief moment of loss of security and threat of death that accompanies any crisis of radical change. In the imagery of mythology and religion this birth (or more often rebirth) theme is extremely prominent; in fact, every threshold passage – not only this from the darkness of the womb to the light of the sun, but also those from childhood to adult life and from the light of the world to whatever mystery of darkness may lie beyond the portal of death – is comparable to a birth and has been ritually represented, practically everywhere, through an imagery of reentry into the womb. This is one of those mythical universals that surely merit interpretation, rather from a psychological than from an ethnological point of view.”

- Joseph Campbell in Primitive Mythology: The Masks of God, Volume 1

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An MDMA Christmas Carol

Tue, 07 Dec 2021 01:46:59 GMT

Ebenezer Scrooge, in Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Carol, experienced a quantum change in spirit, a spiritual transformation of sorts

It was the story of how the wealthy sometimes must be supernaturally terrorized into sharing.

William Miller, a research psychologist in New Mexico, coined the term quantum change after interviewing fifty-five people who reported they had undergone a sudden radical transformation in a relatively short period of time. He defines quantum change as “a vivid, surprising, benevolent, and enduring personal transformation when profound awe, a sense of bright light, and a feeling of love were all usually present.” I liken it to a positive trauma .

Retrospectively, Miller’s subjects were asked to note shifts in priorities from a list of fifty personal values. Certain values were enhanced across the board all of which were linked to positive emotions like internal peace, forgiveness, spirituality, humility, and generosity. After the powerful experience, men reported they felt less macho and less materialistic; they reported major drops in the importance of achievement, adventure, comfort, fame, fun, and power (all values that women rated low to begin with). Female changes placed positive emotions as a high priority, with lessened emphasis on traditional “feminine” values like fitting in, safety, and self-control.

Miller likened what he observed to the spiritual transformation of Ebenezer Scrooge. Real life offers similar examples of spontaneous, life-changing spiritual experiences in the lives of Joseph Smith, AA’s Bill Wilson (after using LSD), John Wesley, Florence Nightingale, Malcom X, and Muhammad Ali.

In all of these examples, awe, spiritual transformation, and mystical illumination led to a greater sense of community and belonging.

Miller suggests that these quantum changes reflect a broader and more enduring phenomenon than, let’s say, a transient and somewhat typical religious conversion following a revival meeting. He believes that the suddenness of such transformative experiences are analogous to finally recalling the combination of a locked safe following a period of increasing frustration and anxiety. Suddenly, and almost miraculously, all the tumblers fall into place and the ensuing emotional experience holds a mixture of relief and joy. The individual is changed forever. And so many of his subjects concluded it is better to give than to receive. This ability for transformative change seems to be locked inside us, hardwired if you will.

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“The brain is wider than the sky.”

- Emily Dickinson

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Additional Reading:

Spiritual Evolution by George E. Valliant, M.D.

Why God Won’t Go Away: Brain Science and the Biology of Belief by Andrew Newberg and Eugene D’Aquili

MDMA, Force, Flow, and Synchronicity

Tue, 07 Dec 2021 01:30:18 GMT

Allan Hunter’s book, The Path of Synchronicity , helps us understand some of the distinctions regarding how we posture ourselves in response to trauma and pain

Hunter asserts that if we are to get to a point of ease in living it will be necessary to relinquish some of our controlling ways.

Much of our need to forcefully manage life comes from a spot of fear and trepidation. Compulsive behaviors of all kinds are attempts to manage uncertainty. In so doing, much of our spontaneity and creativity diminishes. Hunter believes that growth occurs when we get out of our brains (confined egoic thinking) and open our hearts. In doing so our soul becomes pregnant with possibilities.

If we have been victimized and left feel afraid and powerless there is the tendency to see monsters out there and pray to a god outside of ourselves for safety to fix things for us. Instead Hunter suggests that we listen to the god inside us to be a guide. MDMA helps us descend into the self and awaken that which is divine and wise within, something far wiser than we previously imagined. Jung referred to it as a pure and deep wisdom residing in the Collective Unconscious of human kind .

Hunter writes: “When we stop looking at our lives through the ego-lens of ‘this happened to me’ and start seeing the patterns that link our lives to a much larger context, we can let go of pain or victimhood. The ego drops away. We are all part of a pattern that is ultimately mysterious, but which human beings have acknowledged in ritual and myth for as long as anyone can recall. Opening the heart is another way of saying that we need to operate from a place that is not ego-based; and presenting as a victim can sometimes be a powerful ego mindset, since it allows us to blame others [for our unhappiness].”

Trying to force our life to be better doesn’t work. That is an overcorrection from having lived in fear and uncertainty for too long. It is about control. Easing up a bit, we can “go with the flow” a little more and in that relational process we start to unlearn what was previously concluded about the dangerousness of life.

Flow allows us to welcome the new and unusual, not just rigidly and reflexively rejecting experiences that don’t fit our preconceived notions. MDMA encourages us to drop tall walls of defensiveness so that new perspectives and alternatives can more readily be seen, and with them, a world of greater flow.

Flow is about living in harmony with the Universe. It is about moving in tune with destiny, the rhythms of life that are all around us when we are closely attached to Mother Earth. When we are in sync with the patterns and movements surrounding us we start noticing predictable events because we have suddenly been sensitized to them. And we fall into the flow NOT by learning how to do it but by unlearning old persistent habits of the mind (e.g., worrying, obsessing, judging, and second-guessing ourselves) that have gone unchallenged far too long.

When in the flow we are simultaneously more humble, more compassionate, and see patterns and so-called coincidences all around us – synchronicity. By constantly looking to the future while filled with worry, it’s difficult to see the synchronicities that are all around us in the now . Worry boils down to focusing on what we don’t want much to the detriment of our wellbeing. In this state, we attract what we are feeling and being. In so doing, we further victimize ourselves.

Fear is needed in life to keep us for alertness and safety, and it can prevent us from becoming arrogantly distanced from others. And yes, it must be kept under mindfully managed some of the time. But how that is done is so important. When fear is approached and understood a person can move to joy. Alan Cohen summed it up by saying, “Joy is not the result of getting what you want; it’s the way to get what you want.”

We don’t want fear to become a barrier – a mental trap that ensnares us -- but rather a catalyst that moves us forward. Sitting on Mother’s belly, in the “heartspace” of connectivity, we fall in tune with the peace rediscovered in Earth’s rhythms while being cradled in Her pulse. Then, aligned with the energies of the cosmos, fear begins to dissipate and “coincidences” start to appear. By paying attention to the increasing number of synchronicities (inner promptings and awakenings of the heart) that follow MDMA treatment, the Universe conspires to show us the way ahead in life.

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The ancient poet, Rumi, gave us this guidance:

“Keep walking, though there is no place to get to.

Don’t try to see through the distances.

That is not for human beings.

Move within,

But don’t move the way fear makes you want to move.”

Or, as Winston Churchill advised:

“If you are going through Hell, keep going.”

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Additional Reading:

Embracing Uncertainty by Susan Jeffers

MDMA and Dreams

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 04:34:45 GMT

Very preliminary information – scientific and anecdotal – suggests a connection between MDMA and other chemicals which may positively affect dreams.

For some time I have suspected that persons with rich dream lives may have more lucid visionary experiences during an MDMA session.

There may also be some hormones, neurotransmitters, and supplements that enhance dream activity such as melatonin and dopamine. Conversely, certain prescription drugs, especially tranquilizers, can interfere with a rich dream life by decreasing melatonin, and dopamine.

Hallucinogens and stimulants such as LSD, DMT (dimethyltryptamine, a natural hormone), mescaline, and amphetamines all can increase melatonin (a hormone) and dopamine (a neurotransmitter). Did you know that DMT is found naturally in the human body, particularly in the pineal gland (the “third eye”) which seems to be implicated in MDMA’s effectiveness? And further, melatonin is naturally released at night in the pineal gland; it acts directly on the dreaming system to increase and intensify the movement of sensory images from the brain stem to the upper cortex area. Melatonin also expedites movement of memory images from the conscious brain back to unconscious memory storage.

There is another brain region that is clearly implicated in opening the brain’s doorway to the collective unconscious (that congregate of human consciousness) -- the locus coeruleus , located at the brain stem. It stimulates dream flow related to relationships including intrapersonal, interpersonal, familial, ancestral, and beyond. Additionally, this part of the brain is linked with our stress and panic responses. So if you are thinking of ingesting a pure grade of MDMA – the relational medicine -- you may want to consider all these relational influencers. Complex stuff, wouldn’t you say? As a consumer, if you are thinking of exploring an empathogen like MDMA, or perhaps a little rougher ride with a psychedelic, there are some things you may want to know about the aforementioned chemicals (and some plants) that may impact you.

For instance, it may interest you to know that many people have reported supplementing with melatonin as an evening sleep aid often increases their dream activity BUT of a nightmarish nature, which may not be desirable if you are attempting overcome PTSD.

Anecdotally, I am aware of patients who have reported more dreams, and happier dreams, post-MDMA. For general brain health, and to promote cell development and neurogenesis in the brain, L-glutathione is often recommended. Choline (considered a B-vitamin) is another reparative nutrient that, quite interestingly, increases dream activity. For persons who have long been troubled with insomnia, valerian root not only is a safe sleep aid, it has been scientifically proven to improve dream recall and influence dream content.

Dream researchers have recommended large amounts of Vitamin B-6 (100-500 mg/day range) two hours before bedtime. Tryptophan (a calmative), another fave in dream circles, purportedly enhances dream recall, intensity, colors, and bizarreness. Galantamine (a memory supporting prescription drug), along with the amino acids L-theanine (natural and very safe calmative) and L-glutamine, faves in dream communities although I can’t speak to their efficacy.

On the fringe of dreams studies you may find reference to the African succulent, kanna. The Khoikhoi and San Bushmen will often chew on this plant all day long. It keeps them in a relaxed and dreamy state, somewhat like drinking alcohol, but supposedly without the downsides. Tribal people report it is also a pain killer and that is the likely reason some South African dentists use it to anesthetize the lower jaw.

While I cannot recommend any of these supplements, the research on the amino acid L-glutathione is very, very positive and choline is strongly recommended by neuropsychiatric colleagues for the promotion of brain health and healing. Scientific literature reports both to be very safe.

The takeaway is to consider dream work as a very helpful part of multiple MDMA assisted psychotherapy protocols. You may have powerful psychic or spiritual experiences in both dimensions. The medicine works great in many ways, but your pre- and post-treatment homework will be essential to establish and maintain the momentum of growth.

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“A deeper understanding of our family dream dynamics is not only a way of growing individually but is also a means of recognizing our primordial connection with nameless ancestors [from] ages ago and our progeny yet to be born in the distant future. Implicitly, they too are a living part of us.”

- E. B. Bynum

“Some researchers claim that two out of three psychic experiences occur in dreams. By very conservative estimates, if only one percent of our dreams were psi dreams, then in a lifetime of one hundred minutes of dreaming in an eight-hour night, with approximately 1,500 dreams a year, we would have at least a thousand such dreams in our lifetime! In reality it is probably much higher.”

- Bruce Bynum

“In sleep, one is released into the real world.”

- Terence McKenna

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Additional Reading:

Edward Bruce Bynum in The Dreamlife of Families: The Psychospiritual Connection (an academic read)

MDMA and Three-Dimensional Thinking

Sun, 05 Dec 2021 23:32:29 GMT

All of us have been indoctrinated into the theory of a three-dimensional reality – the length, breadth, and height of things – extensions into space.

Hyperspace, meaning going beyond three dimensions, was introduced in science fiction literature and movies suggesting we have always toyed with ideas of something bigger and more complex existing “out there.”

Our interest in astronomy, or even astrology, suggests we have long wanted to imagine looking beyond current sensory and cognitive limitations. Since humankind invented religion, many cultures held the cherished and comforting belief that there is a sought after destination called heaven, a place outside our current understanding of space. Heaven, almost uniformly, was regarded as an extension of height – something way up there beyond sight. Maybe that is what the term higher consciousness or Higher Power allude to.

All spatial dimensions beyond the traditional three are thought to be mental or psychic, something subjectively experienced as an inner voice or hallucination, an interior phenomenon. A four-dimensional creature, perhaps like a shaman, may tell you that they can see perfectly well inside and outside. For instance, shamans often intuitively tour their own bodies, or those of persons they are healing, to locate the source of an illness. It is construed by Westerners as something resembling a form of x-ray vision. Some folks, especially psychologists, blow off this remarkable ability as delusional thinking or as psychosis. If it can’t be documented and classified as normal human behavior, it follows that it must be abnormal, or even pathological. Perhaps a medicine could put a stop to such crazy thinking, stop the brain from what it naturally has done and can do.

Then there are modern day psychonauts who are without shamanic training but desire to go into previously unchartered territory via drug experimentation. They often desire an easy way to get there, perhaps using psychedelic medicines. But for a more disciplined person, these fleeting breakaway moments are just brief instances of consciousness tourism, not a destination to permanently land on and stay with.

Could it be that when under the guidance (vs. influence) of MDMA, some folks measure the world beyond the usual conceptualizations of length, breadth, and height? The fourth dimension may be time . Time is inseparable from consciousness and that may be why shamanic cosmologies question its very existence apart from our minds. Scientifically, we can never be sure it exists independent of our thinking, yet scientists measure the world in accordance with manmade time-keeping devices.

Native peoples tend to relate to “time” as something circular; the “future” and the “past” all occur in the “now.” Go “Native” and wrap your head around that for a while.

Perhaps there is a fifth-dimension . Beyond the previous four, maybe an inside construct can be considered. Maybe “normal” space-time thinking is an outer projection of an inner infinity. So when a shaman journeys into his body and even into his cells, it is so unfamiliar to us that we discount his experience. During an MDMA journey, when you watch your upper cranial brain sparking, or navigate into your middle brain (the heart) and watch it pumping, will you be introduced to a new way of seeing and experiencing reality? So is this phenomenon subjective or objective – or both?

What about those MDMA experiences of expanded consciousness when we stand apart from ourselves watching as the ego shrinks? When we find ourselves observing ourselves -- maybe even observing the observer observing us. Sort of a “backstage” view of what is going on. Is this a sixth dimension ? After all, to be objective wouldn’t we have to stand back, and seemingly apart, to more accurately understand something bigger than us? Otherwise wouldn’t it all be too subjective to be accurate?

This is where Mayan cosmology helps out, when the micro perspective is expanded to the macro. The macro is the big view of things, getting past the meager abilities of the cranial brains of humans. In a way, everything outside us may be inside us; everything may be us. So this bigness resides in our smallness. To understand this better we must break free of the normal cognitive constraints of human consciousness and see the big picture, sixth dimensional unity consciousness .

No wonder after a treatment, when people reenter the three dimensional world, they find it so difficult to explain in precise words what was experienced. While being largely indescribable, or ineffable, it is often paradoxically referred to as being “realer than real.” We may be tapping into something bigger and quite comforting, a “coming home” of sorts. For a shaman, this is existence transmitting itself through him/her, a very familiar and sacred happening. Experiencing “many worlds” is experiencing the One World of us.

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Johanna Macy in A Wild Love for the World, wrote: “We strap our faith and love and destiny to the puny burros of our separate selves which are certain to stumble and give out…prizing our egos, coddling them, we lock ourselves inside.”

She went on: “One day I found I was no longer inside my own body. I wasn’t outside it either. My body seemed to be silently exploding, expanding to the point where everything else was inside it too. Everything out there – each gesticulating, chewing, sleeping form; each crying baby and coughing heap of rags; and flickering, swaying carriage itself – was as intimately my body as I was. I had turned inside out, like a kernel of popcorn shaken over the fire. My interior was now on the outside, inextricably mixed up with the rest of the world, and what I had tried to exclude was now at its core.”

Macy concluded: “The self was neither to be vaunted or overcome, neither to be punished or improved. It only needed to be seen through, like a bubble that would eventually pop.”

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MDMA and Seeds

Sun, 05 Dec 2021 23:07:11 GMT

For many years I have been privileged to know Baba Mandaza Kandemwa, a traditional healer of the Shona people who reside in Zimbabwe

When we have traveled together I have noticed he always has some seeds in a pocket, gathered from his large garden that feeds the many AIDS orphans living in his home. As we walk, especially in sacred territory like the Great Zimbabwe, Mandaza routinely casts seeds to the wind which carry his prayers. Periodically he looks inquiringly in my direction as if to ask me if I desire any seeds. I always take some and follow his lead.

Seeds are often cast before MDMA ceremonies at retreat sites in Nature. They are combined with heirloom blue corn traditionally grown on the Hopi Reservation in Arizona. Together they announce that what is about to commence is sacred. In this ritualized way the land and the ceremonial event are made sacred, sacralized . The ritual also suggests the patient is planting the seeds for a new life to unfold with roots being established on what is now the occupied Native American land they have gathered on, but with reverent regard for the First Peoples who came before them and the customs we attribute to them.

In a corn ritual they are aligning themselves with Pueblo mythology in which the Corn Mother represents the feminine aspects of the universe with Her life giving gifts. In the Hopi tradition blue corn represents the rising sun, the beginning of life, wisdom, and understanding, all condensed into a tiny kernel of ancient life. The Zuni of New Mexico believe that when you sprinkle cornmeal on an animal fetish symbolizing reciprocity, you will be blessed in return. Corn rituals create the desired spirit associated with the emergence of new life. Hence the significance of corn rituals as integral to MDMA ceremonies, especially when conducted on Mother Earth.

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Thich Nhat Hanh teaches us how, during extended periods of peace and compassion inside us [as commonly experienced during an MDMA treatment], something beautiful can develop in a person’s consciousness. He has said, “To practice mindfulness means to recognize each seed as it comes up from Mother Earth,” humans included, and thereafter we must practice watering the most wholesome seeds that were germinated in us at the time of our treatment. And we must do this regularly for ourselves.

In western forms of medicine, the somewhat recent development of MDMA assisted psychotherapy reminds every participant of the need to nourish the heart softness that is to be sprouted. In that way, the best in people can take root, grow, and blossom.

The amount of time spent lovingly watering heart seeds (in follow-up therapy or meditation practices) determines the lasting power of the seed. In this way, every positive emotion has the spirit of the Buddha in it.

In Peace In Every Step , Thich Nhat Hanh explains: “When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer or more water or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce.” He further advises: no blame, no judgment, no argument, just compassionate understanding.

The Hopi have a somewhat similar belief about loving kindness. They sing over their corn to help it grow. And in Ecuador I have watched preschool aged children plant corn at the start of their day. First they kiss a male and then a female kernel. They lay the seeds close to each other in a bed of soil to begin the propagation of life. After the children tuck the seeds of potential life in with a blanket of soil from the Mother – Pachamama -- they light a candle and say a prayer to lovingly encourage and invigorate growth. Then off to preschool. Now that’s teaching relational therapy, literally at the ground level.

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Shozan Jack Haubner, in the Buddhist text All the Rage, alerts us: “Trust me, that organ between your ears is always spoiling for a fight. Its job is to divide and conquer. But the real fight is taking place inside of you, with the ‘dharma organ,’ the heart, where the challenge is to unify and understand; where the seeds of love and compassion are struggling to lay roots, to gain ground.” You are not likely to request an MDMA ceremony unless there has been a trauma or some form of intense suffering in your life. Ezra Bayda, a Buddhist author, has posed this koan*: “Can tragedy seed miracles? Perhaps – if we plow the ground. Sometimes, though, it takes a hit on the head, a shock, or a deep loss to crack us open just enough for understanding to grow.”

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" … w hat shape

waits in the seed

of you to grow

and spread

its branches

against a future sky? "

- David Whyte

“Gratitude plants the seeds for abundance.”

- Robin Wall Kimmerer (Potawatomi) in Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants

*A koan is a paradoxical riddle or anecdote used in Buddhism to provoke thinking and enlightenment.

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MDMA - The Constituent Components

Sun, 05 Dec 2021 22:42:52 GMT

MDMA ( methylenedioxmethamphetamine) -- somewhat carelessly referred to by the club drug names of Ecstasy or Molly -- is not a classical psychedelic

MDMA is an amphetamine, but more accurately known as an empathogen, an entactogen, or a clarigen. It is slightly different than MDA (3,4-methylenedioxyamphetamine) and MDEA (3,4-methylenedioxethylamphetamine). Taken by mouth, its effects are felt within 30-40 minutes and its effects last about 5-6 hours.

MDMA causes a massive release of 5-HT (serotonin), the activation of which causes specific neurons to produce and release the bonding chemical oxytocin. The body also releases stores of dopamine and norepinephrine.

It is used in the treatment of PTSD and relationship conflicts with their often common etiologies being broken trust and shattered beliefs. To accomplish healing, the medicine lowers defense mechanisms that allows alternative thought patterns to emerge.

MDMA can help people “let go” of stuck emotional thoughts and “shift gears,” a function often associated with the brain's cingulate system.

It is believed that MDMA increases activity in the superior temporal cortex and mid-cingulate cortex, two areas of the brain known to be important for empathizing with the thoughts and intentions of others, in other words, social relationship areas.

There are changes in neuronal activity in the right anterior insula, a section of the brain important in appraising risk and uncertainty – like processing the behavior and trustworthiness of a partner. MDMA, however, does not make users naïve in trusting others. It tends to build on, or rebuild, ruptured bonds between people. Effects may also include altered and enhanced senses, as well as increased energy, empathy, and pleasure.

Most experts on psychedelics and entheogen plant medicines regard MDMA as quite safe. David Nutt, former professor at the University of Bristol has said this: “Alcohol is more dangerous than cannabis and using Ecstasy is safer than riding a horse.”

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Additional Reading:

A Dose of Hope by Dr. Dan Engleman

MDMA: Exogamous or Endogenous

Sun, 05 Dec 2021 22:21:49 GMT

Please don’t let the words put you off. They are just scientific ways of saying arising from without or within.

MDMA is a concoction made outside the body that enables people to transcend a somewhat narrow existence of suffering or meaninglessness and rise to an elevated state some might call ecstasy. It is a medicine taken in capsule form. But the question before us is, does our united bodymind have the capacity to make a hormonal, chemical, and spiritual medicine, one that somehow is produced and developed without outside drugs coming into play?

Upon reflection, we know that a healthy microbiome (gut), alive with bacteria fed by prebiotics and probiotics added to a good diet, has an amazing capability. It can produce “medicines of wellbeing.” The intestines are designed to make enkephalins (like the amino acid methionine, or sam-e) and endorphins (opioid peptides), endocannabinoids (weed), serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, etc.

So, if we are a living and breathing pharmaceutical storehouse, can we also manufacture MDMA endogenously?

I think there is a good chance we might just do something much like that. It wouldn’t be much of a stretch given all the other medicines our body manufactures and distributes.

You may recall Abraham Maslow, the renowned psychologist, who long ago wrote about “self-actualization,” unfolding into our newest and best form, and “peak experiences” which can be regarded as transcendent moments with lasting power, not unlike the results of the empathogen MDMA and certain psychedelics. A light bulb comes on that lends deep meaning to many life questions and sets us on a new and more compassionate discovery of life’s meaning and purpose.

When I read the book Quantum Change (2001) by William Miller years ago, I was struck by all of his research participants who reported transcendent awakenings following very intense and long lasting nondrug experiences. I wondered, as did he, what precipitated such events that seemed to come out of the blue. Was it an internal emotional emergency, or what Stanislav Grof would refer to as a “spiritual emergency” that led to an emergent crystallization of a person’s life? Descriptions of the events were very similar to those of MDMA patients and Maslow’s peak experiences.

At the causal level quantum life changes were not immediately comprehensible to every person. Beyond some events initially being somewhat unpleasant and confounding, certain qualities, in the end, were reported: a) they were profoundly emotional, positive, beneficial, and soothing, b) events, and even material things, seemed more beautiful and brighter thereafter, c) nonjudgmental love swept over them and d) it was like they passed through a one-way door from which there was no turning back – life was unambiguously and positively changed forever. The world was now a bigger and more unified place. Kaboom! Like a clinical MDMA treatment, much of it defied verbal explanation; it was ineffable.

But was there some subtle internal shift going on that might help explain its origins? Maybe something bubbling up from the depths of the psyche and rising to surface awareness under pressure? Miller suggests there was often a hidden or denied crisis festering below conscious awareness. A breaking point was slowly approaching when the internal system had to manufacture a set of internal emotional, and therefore physical changes, to break through. Like a built in survival system, similar to our intestines, a “breakdown” in reverse occurred. It entailed sudden physical and emotional changes, and with it, an enlarged consciousness. Just when they thought they “lost it,” they “got it.”

For Christians it was often described much like a born again experience, or a religious conversion. Others who were more inclined to see themselves as spiritual, described the event as a reset or reboot, much like MDMA patients describe it. It was uniformly seen as a developmental shot forward. And most everyone seems to regard this eye opening experience as sacred because it holds so much personal meaning and offered a sense of deliverance. A new lease on life, a new lens on life.

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“Their [new] spirituality is not isolated, not separate from the rest of their life. Rather it becomes the lens through which they now perceive life.”

- William Miller

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MDMA and Sensory Anesthesia

Sun, 05 Dec 2021 17:38:23 GMT

According to a Nielsen study, Americans spend 90 percent of their lives indoors

On average we spend eleven hours per day on all our phones, entertainment, and education devices and seven hours trying to sleep. Previous blogs have documented the mental health declines – especially in social isolation, attentive presence, depression, anxiety, insomnia, addiction, and suicidal ideation – that have been linked to all our dopamine enhancing distraction devices.

In a recent book, Rewilding , by Micah Mortali, introduces us to the concept of sensory anesthesia . This is similar to the sensorial atrophy I have observed and written about after contrasting modern and “primitive” cultures. Both concepts refer to the loss of formerly robust sensory abilities from our indoor, technologically - addicted culture. Both of us suggest that not only are our senses less keen (e.g., hearing, taste, smell, navigation, and sight) but we actually have fewer senses than were present in our “undeveloped” pre-modern state. Any authentic shaman will display far more than the traditional five senses western healers acknowledge.

In my book, Awakening the Healing Soul: Indigenous Wisdom for Today’s World , I quoted the research of Chilton Pearce who detailed how we are currently experiencing a dramatic reduction in the ability to distinguish sounds, plummeting from three thousand to one hundred discernable sounds over a fifteen year period! Previously we could detect 350 shades of colors; today the average westerner can see about 130! Interestingly, indigenous Mayan children of rural Guatemala showed far more sensory receptivity than children in technologically based cultures.

Many MDMA “graduates” report significant change in their sensory awareness that goes beyond momentary (or protracted) expanded consciousness. Some hear enhanced or even distant sounds, and smell more intensely. Others seem to understand and communicate with animals better, and vice versa.

Others, (like tribal healers of the Amazon and northern Canada) with the help of an activated pineal gland (third eye), see the internal organs and activities of the human body, activate visionary perceptions of ancestors and other environmental relatives, and still other traditional healers transcend earthly life and sense the existence that extends beyond what our external eyes can decipher. These are only anecdotal accounts that stop short of scientific evidence, but they raise the lighthearted question regularly heard on Saturday Night Live, “What’s up with that?”

By spending time on Mother Earth, before and during MDMA ceremonies, we can start to see Nature as more than an abstraction, something not just “out there,” but rather an extension of ourselves. And many plants and creatures in Nature have countless collective sensory abilities that we are all coupled with at some level. MDMA patients report how Nature feels closer and more alive after their cognitive reboots. It comports with the astute philosophy of Joseph Campbell who asserted that when we merge our inner being with the physical plane, we can actually feel more, what he called “the rapture of being alive.”

Mortali wrote, “Without the medicine of streams, forests, and other natural ecosystems, people turn to TV, food, alcohol, and other sedatives and stimulants to fill their emptiness or to alleviate boredom.” Our big sensory explosions come from rock concerts, movies, pyrotechnics, orgasms, and big screen displays. If isn’t very intense, we often miss it.

MDMA awakens bodies and minds but, post-medicine, one must keep the energy moving by frequently returning to Nature. One way to do this is for us to walk barefoot on Mother with an awareness of each step, not being so concerned with where we are headed, but where we are currently footed. Mortali encourages us to walk as if we are blessing Earth with every step. Thich Nhat Hahn suggests walking meditations that, with every plant of our feet, plants a gentle kiss on our Mother.

Feeling safe after trauma begins with feeling comfortable with the planet itself, with different environments, the weather, and other living relatives…even “distant” interstellar energies. This familiarity sets the stage for a sense of belonging and connection which can lead to a more positive outlook on life. With a strong bond to place (like Native Americans experience), all our relationships can become stronger too, more alive, and with that we develop a more positive outlook on life.

Recall, MDMA is a relational medicine that connects us with everything that is around us and inside us. And sometimes as a result of an entheogen journey to outer places we can better see our inner space, mystical realms of consciousness that assist us in developing our human potential. Edgar Mitchell, an Apollo 14 astronaut who walked on the moon, made some drug-free observations on his return home. He said: “I realized that matter in our universe was created in star systems, and the molecules in my body and the molecules in the spacecraft, and the molecules in my partner’s body were prototypes, or manufactured, in some ancient generation of stars, and the recognition then that we’re all a part of the same stuff. We’re all one.”

Sometimes MDMA creates a lofty new perspective that re-roots us in our ancient past and gives us a steadier grounding on Earth. Staying close to Nature, in fact recalling we are part of Her (which is easier to do outdoors), continues the psychonavigational reset this wonderful medicinal treatment triggered.

Remember, our biology has not changed since we moved indoors. Our love for open spaces, quiet, water, mountain top perspectives, is baked into our physiology. Go in, go out, go in, go out……….be everywhere at once.

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“I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.”

- John Muir

“The Amazonian Shipibo believe their bodies are covered with normally invisible geometric patterns. Illness is a diagnosed when there is a disruption in the patterns.”

- Luis Edwardo Luna, Ph.D, in Inner Paths to Outer Space by Strassman

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Additional Reading:

Inner Paths to Outer Space by Rick Strassman

MDMA Energy Movement

Sun, 05 Dec 2021 16:53:37 GMT

While MDMA is a modern medicine designed to resolve trauma and heal relationships, it can also be understood from an indigenous perspective.

For example, Q’ero shamans of the Peruvian Andes have long practiced energy movement as the central part of their healing of mental and physical ailments.

Commonly, Q’ero shamans will open a healing ceremony by forming a k’intu , which is a grouping of three cocoa leaves slightly fanned out. With a prayerful attitude they blow their finest energies, three times, through the leaves and into the Universe. Then the leaves are placed in their mouths and chewed – prayers within, prayers without.

They believe that everything in the Universe holds within it kawsay , which is the basic and vital, animating force of existence. The goal of a healing ceremony is to “push the kawsay .”

One of the undesired energies created by human encounters is hucha . In the U.S. we demonize this form of energy by referring to it as evil or demonic. Often it is said to be the power of a devil. Actually, hucha could be better understood as heavy, disordered, and dense energy. It is “caught” from persons who do not live in perfect anyi – loving reciprocity. They are like emotional vampires who take and take with little desire to give back. In so doing, they can move people into a state of energy imbalance.

From a psychological perspective, hucha can be regarded as the accumulation within the energy body of all that does not serve us: negative attitudes, untruthfulness, manipulation, inability to love honestly, self-destructive or hurtful behaviors, a poor self-image, and so on. Emotional fears and pain are only symptoms of being in contact with hucha . Shamans can see it in physical form, like an aura, something they call k’ara . Hucha is not about us, but rather who we have bumped into and what we momentarily absorbed. Nor is hucha a moral category, it just is – one unique form of energy, all judgment aside.

One shaman, don Agustin, said, A person has hucha when dirtiness lands on him. If the hucha lands on a person, you must take it and pull it off him and pace it in a river. The river will take it away.”

Q’ero shamans continuously monitor their energy interactions and work to supplant hucha with sami . They realize that if you come into contact with energy that does not serve you well, the natural human reaction is to protect ourselves. In that constricted posture of protection we close ourselves off and risk turning our energy body into an “energetic jail.” Our body may experience intestinal upsets, migraines, fibromyalgia, etc.

Sami is the natural and unspoiled energy that we may lose track of following a difficult childhood or a tarnished relationship with our parents. It can be regarded as our best essence, our innate, divine, and loving soul.

As adults our sami is often diminished from being around abusive and narcissistic people. But our sami is not always gone, it is temporarily overshadowed by the heavier hucha . And sami is light, uplifting, and healing, seeking to pierce the darkness like obsidian can do.

The more sami we invite into our energy bodies, the more our bodies are cleansed of hucha . Releasing hucha is a simple and intentional process called saminchuckuy . In doing so it is very important not to hate or fight with hucha . That only creates more of the same. As Carl Jung said: “What we resist, will persist.” To try and forcefully evict hucha never works. Quite the opposite, it can settle into us. Conversely, by welcoming sami’s love through the crown chakra, hucha is gently moved and dissolved. Sami can be regarded as a playful form of energy, not a hard-driving warrior.

It is important to open an internal dialogue with hucha and MDMA fosters just that. The energies we are inclined to label as “evil” are actually a projection of our shadow selves. Hucha can’t do anything to us that we do not consciously or unconsciously agree to. So with the additional help of MDMA, we adjust our posture toward the heavy darkness.

Healing begins by connecting with another energy field, a stronger and more spiritual person. MDMA assisted psychotherapists can assist with this process. This can be a sacred interchange.

Basically we can cleanse ourselves of hucha , or it can be digested. Brushing, fanning, applying smoke by breath or smudging, or washing ourselves followed by the application of sweet lotions or perfumes can begin a cleansing form of release. The rougher digestion process – the shamans call it hucha mikhuy – involves working with someone else who can absorb and then expel the unpleasantness. Your indigenous inspired MDMA attendant opens himself/herself in strength to absorb hucha . They can “eat” hucha in their sami- inspired spiritual stomach. After all, “what is heavy for you may not be heavy for me.”

In the energy movement process the healer extracts or draws in sami from the hucha and finds a way to return the unwanted energy back to Pachamama. It is often deposited in water where it disperses. Pachamama loves to receive hucha and use it in her composting process; she enjoys that part of us almost as much as we love dark sweet chocolate. Fundamentally, both processes -– cleansing and digesting -- are loving acts of intention, munay . Both use rituals within ceremonies, ways to “let go.”

The person carrying hucha is said to carry the load of a heavy backpack that must be discarded. A person who carries heavy energy is called a huchasapa . When energy is moving -- and it make take some time -- it is regarded as a cosmic transformation; the word they use is pachacuti . Hucha is always building and receding. Our goal is to lighten our load and create an internal spiritual ecology of pachacuti . The real brilliance of the ancient Q’ero tradition is that they recognize everything is of value to us; everything serves a function. It is a perspective beyond good and bad, right and wrong, friends and enemies. They refer to yanantin as the harmonizing of two different vibrations or flavors in life. Masintin is the complementarity of divergent energies. We must taste them all and be at peace with them all.

After the MDMA assisted, and indigenously inspired treatment, patients have the energetic power to recover the memory –- not only of traumas -– but the memory of who they truly are and then they can act in accordance with that authentic self, the primordial “I Am.” For the gifts of ancient practices, as well as the gifts of modern medicines, we say “thank you,” “aho” (honoring the union of spirits), and “megwetch” (gratitude for all).

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MDMA and Heart Intelligence

Sun, 05 Dec 2021 16:10:10 GMT

Over millennia, ancient traditional healers have developed ways to enhance their intuitive intelligence, to divine and predict what is happening in their immediate environment and beyond

They have looked to their hearts for counsel. More recently, in the 1990s the HeartMath Research Institute was developed to scientifically explore the role of the human heart in guiding us. This organization has broadened our understanding of the heart as an information processing center, a second brain that can influence the cranial brain upstairs, as well as the entire body.

One of the pioneers in this realm of study is Doc Childre who has written: “Picture heart intelligence as the flow of awareness, understanding, and intuitive guidance we experience when the mind and emotions are brought into coherent alignment with the heart. This intelligence steps down the power of love from Universal Source into our life’s interactions in practical, approachable ways which inform us of a straighter path to our fulfillment.”

Observing people in clinical settings who have previously been administered MDMA suggests to me that there is something akin to a heart awakening that occurs when the medicine is onboard. In addition to the oft-mentioned increase in compassion, empathy, and love, MDMA seems to activate the heart in such a way that they develop greater mental clarity and cultivate greater intuition. And with intuition comes enhanced intra- and interpersonal connectivity, synchronicities, and paraphrasing Childre’s words, a downloading of guiding forces and knowings that come from Universal Source.

Deborah Rozman, a psychotherapist, developed an exercise that helps psychonauts add coherence between their upper and middle brains – the cranial and the heart located brains. She developed an exercise that when employed can aid us in accessing and employing an additional intellectual resource. Combining two forms of intelligence can spawn a third.

Here’s how Rozman’s exercise goes: Place two pillows on the floor -- not on your bed -- as you will be trying to do something special on the pillows beyond sleeping. One pillow will represent the head and the other pillow the heart, both sources of intelligence. While sitting on the head pillow Rozman encourages you to close your eyes and ask head to communicate an important issue to heart. After sharing head’s thoughts, worries, and judgments you move to the heart pillow and tell head what the heart’s view of the problem is, what your heart is sensing. It is often like two entirely different people exist within us, two very different reference points of awareness that may not yet be in coherence or alignment. Next, you are encouraged to go back to the head pillow and respond to your heart.

After moving from pillow to pillow in this fashion three or four times, you are likely to settle into heartspeak and find more artful ways of seeing and addressing your issue. Usually this is not only a wiser perspective but a much kinder and gentler way to resolve problems.

Turns out this complex heart of ours sends information to the upper brain and other body parts through four different pathways:

1) A neurological communication system via neuronal pathways in the autonomic nervous system.

2) Bio-physical communication via pulse waves, one wave system among countless waves continuously flowing through the universe.

3) Biochemical messaging via the secretion of hormones like oxytocin which is being produced during an MDMA treatment.

4) Electromagnetic field created by the heart, which, by the way, happens to be the biggest producer of electricity of our three brains – heart, cranial, and intestinal.

Additionally, it is also important to remember that there is a feedback loop between our skin-suited bodies and the bigger body, Mother Earth, with Her synchronizing and healing energetic/magnetic emanations. So our body is part of an even bigger body. We are invited to know and take care of it all.

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“The earth and myself are of one mind.”

- Chief Seattle

“Your brain is part of a larger brain. Give thanks for that.”

- Glenn Aparicio Parry

“The heart has its reasons that the mind will never know.”

- Blaise Pascal

“My heart knows what my mind only thinks it knows.”

-Noah Benshea

“There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy.”

- Nietzsche

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Additional Reading:

Original Thinking by Glenn Aparicio Parry

Heart Intelligence by Childre, Martin, Rozman, and McCraty

MDMA Introductory Concepts

Sun, 05 Dec 2021 14:40:38 GMT

MDMA - What to Know and What to Expect

The bulleted points that follow will address some of the questions and concerns that newcomers have about what a pure an unadulterated MDMA experience will be like. I open with a description of the medicine by a legendary expert on entheogens, Claudio Naranjo, who described MDMA as “the champagne of feeling enhancers.”

MDMA enhances the capacity for gaining access to, understanding, and communicating deeply held feelings, sometimes feelings that were never experienced before.

MDMA allows insight into trauma without excessive, if any, fear.

The usual defenses against feelings of self-condemnation, personal rejection, and guilt over interpersonal issues fall away, which are often the biggest obstacles to clear insights.

You will quite easily be able to explore your shadow side or dark side.
MDMA works faster than psychotherapy, but psychotherapy is not to be replaced; it is an import adjunct to the healing process and adds to the efficiency of psychotherapy.

MDMA points out the proper direction for your life and offers the impetus to follow it.  MDMA is not a hallucinogen. You remain conscious, aware, and have excellent recall.

MDMA is an empathogen, it enhances empathy, compassion, and forgiveness for self and others. It also has features of an entheogen in that it can create a powerful spiritual experience. Additionally, as an entactogen, it touches the “deep within,” even across generations.

MDMA is probably the best medicine (when supported by psychotherapy) for greatly reducing, if not totally eliminating, markers of PTSD.

MDMA frequently brings up repressed memories, but only when you are capable of facing and addressing them.

MDMA strengthens relationship ties. It is not a sexual drug like MDA. For some it offers the first time they experience sensuousness without genital arousal.

MDMA is very safe, non-addictive, and generally completes its assignment after three sessions.

Booster amounts of the drug extend the initial period of elevated anxiety and the healing segment that follows, but usually does not make the drug more powerful or more effective. Sometimes “less is more.”

Repeated use (beyond two or three sessions) only infrequently recreates the initial euphoric and experience. MDMA seems to offer its deepest messages just once or twice. Then you are on your own.

MDMA has often been blended with ketamine, LSD, alcohol, and other drugs but there is a paucity of strong evidence that any such amalgam is helpful, nor safe, from person to person. Personal concoctions are usually not as predictable as freestanding MDMA and may not be prudent.

There is no evidence that a single, standard dose of pure, clinical grade MDMA (125 mg) does any damage to the nervous system. It may, however promote neurogenesis and neuroplasticity.

Side effects are minimal. The manner in which MDMA is administered poses the greatest risk for problems. Perhaps 10 to 25 percent of patients, post-treatment, have some momentary low moods for one to two days.

MDMA treatment is enhanced when a sacred ceremonial experience is crafted and is infused with rituals that help transport patients to an enlarged (or re-emerging) consciousness.

MDMA has been said to provide a “brief fleeting moment of sanity.”

Think of MDMA as an immediately acting “anti-neurotic” drug. All the defenses that commonly get in the way of self-realization and disclosure melt away and are replaced by the courage to take a complete moral inventory and explore what has been found.

The words of Claudio Naranjo again: “The classic elements of an MDMA experience: awareness of psychological pain, insight into life and relationships, self-expression in verbal communication and movement, and a progression from defensive accusation toward an understanding of others.”

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Additional Reading:

Ecstasy: The Complete Guide , by Julie Holland, M.D.

A Dose of Hope by Dan Engleman, Ph.D.

Depression Neuro-Bio-Psycho Types

Sun, 05 Dec 2021 14:08:48 GMT

There are many forms of depression (I have observed at least 23), with many causal factors, and many treatment strategies for each one

Following a thorough assessment of all the types of depression, treatment can be more responsive to underlying precipitating factors.

The standard types of depression most psychologists know about are: 1) unipolar , 2) dysthymia or persistent depressive disorder (PDD), 3) various bipolar spectrum depressions , including… 4) cyclothymic (predominant racing mind or mania) mood disorder, 5) postpartum or postnatal (PND), especially after birthing boys, treated with Zurzuvae, 6) neurologically based (deep limbic system) depression, 7) blue light technology induced depression, anxiety, and insomnia, 8) inflammation based depression due to an immune system disorder that can be treated with anti-inflammatory supplements and the repurposed antidepressant, Luvox, 9) hypothyroidism, 10) Facebook depression which, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, develops in early teens, 11) dopamine deficiency depression due to opioid use, unhealthy intestines, or the result of vegan or vegetarian diets, 12) a candida albicans yeast overgrowth from rapidly assimilated carbohydrates, sugars, pastas, and yeast breads that can be altered by dietary change and select supplements – can also be caused by antibiotic overuse destroying health intestinal flora and fauna, 13) amino acid deficiency , particularly phenylalanine, plus accompanying dietary deficiencies, that fail to optimally nourish brain neurotransmitter development which originates in healthy intestines, 14) antihistamine related depression , a side effect of regular use of modern second generation OTC antihistamine drugs and 15) pituitary gland tumor caused depression that can be treated by surgery, medication, and/or radiation, 16) low stomach acid (gastric atrophy) caused by aging and/or the use of antacids and PPIs that can be treated with hydrochloric acid supplementation, 17) low magnesium and zinc deficiency depression and 18) seasonal affective disorder (recently relabeled as “major depressive disorder with seasonal patterns”).

The work of Dr. William J. Walsh, coming from the field of nutritional medicine, has provided us with additional and more comprehensive ways to diagnose and treat depression. He developed five primary depression biotypes, each with its own etiology and unique treatment strategy based on the patient’s biochemical individuality. His research was influenced by the nutritional theories of the Canadian orthomolecular psychiatrist, Abram Hoffer, and his American counterpart, Carl Pfeiffer. Walsh is the author of Nutrient Power. (What was once the Pfeiffer Treatment Center, is now the Walsh Research Institute, located in Naperville, Illinois, where he practices. Contact information: (630) 596-5095. 1155 S. Washington Street, Naperville, IL 60540. Email: info@walshinstitute.org or go to psychiatryredefined.org ).

Add to the previous eighteen typologies Dr. Walsh’s five additional biotypes:

19) Undermethylated Depression

This form of depression constitutes 38 percent of Walsh’s data base - the most common form of depression he sees – and is diagnosed by analysis of blood and urine chemistries. Most undermethylated depressives exhibit low levels of homocysteine; some patients must have treatment to normalize homocysteine levels prior to using Sam-e as a natural treatment. In most cases, supplementation for a few weeks with vitamin B-6 and serine can bring homocysteine down to a safe level. Folates, choline, manganese, copper, and DMAE tend to worsen their depression and must be strictly avoided.

Symptoms of undermethylated depression can also include:

· Obsessive-compulsive tendencies

· Low pain tolerance

· High suicidal tendency

· High libido

· Seasonal inhalant allergies

· Responsive to antihistamines

· High inner tension with calm exterior

· High fluidity (tears, saliva, etc.)

· Addictiveness

· Frequent headaches

· History of perfectionism & family accomplishments

· Rumination over past events

· Competitive in sports

· Self-motivated

· Low levels of homocysteine

20) Folate Deficiency Depression

This biotype constitutes 20 percent of Walsh’s depression data base. Persons experiencing this type of depression are prone to adverse side effects from SSRI antidepressants (increased anxiety) because they are intrinsically high-serotonin persons. SSRIs may worsen depression or cause violence. Avoid treating these patients with tryptophan, 5-HTP, phenylalanine, tyrosine, copper, and inositol. Typical treatment for this type of low-folate depression includes folic or folinic acid, vitamin B-12, niacinamide, choline, DMAE, and manganese that reduce dopamine synaptic activity; zinc, PLP, and B-6 which increase GABA levels; and augmenting nutrients including vitamins C and E. Many improve with a very carefully monitored prescription of benzodiazepines.

Symptoms of folate deficiency depression include:

· Food and chemical sensitivities

· Nervous legs

· Dry eyes and mouth

· Upper body/head/neck pain

· Estrogen intolerance

· Antihistamine intolerance

· High anxiety, hyperactivity, and panic tendencies

· Absence of seasonal allergies

· Sleep disorders

· High pain threshold

· Low libido

· Hyperactivity

· High artistic abilities and interests

· Noncompetitive in sports

21) Hypercupremic Depression

This form of depression was found in 17 percent of Walsh’s data base. The vast majority (96%) of persons with this biotype are women, their first episode of depression typically unfolds during a hormonal event such as puberty, childbirth, or menopause. They are overloaded with copper. SSRI drugs may seem to reduce their depression but will elevate their anxiety. They also tend to be unusually intolerant of birth control pills or hormone replacement therapies since they increase copper levels in the blood. The prescriptions of SSNI antidepressants, that raise norepinephrine, can lead to increased anxiety including panic attacks, sleep problems, and even psychosis.

Treatment involves decoppering the patient to bring blood and brain copper levels into the normal range. . A primary natural mechanism for removal of excess copper involves binding to metallothionein (MT) proteins in the liver, followed by excretion via the bile duct. Advanced nutrient therapy may also involve supplements of zinc together with manganese, glutathione, vitamins B-6, C, and E, and other nutrients that increase MT activity. The two primary approaches of decoppering are chelation therapy and tetrathiomolybdate (TTM), the latter being used for treating Wilson’s Disease and solid tumors. Infrared sauna may help. The amino acid, Sam-e (L-methionine), can assist with decoppering .

Symptoms of hypercupremic depression include:

· Persistent feelings of doom

· Fatigue and exhaustion

· Supersensitive, weepy, mood swings

· Obsessive thoughts

· Despair, suicidal thinking, hopelessness

· Constipation

· Yeast infections (candida)

· Severe anxiety

· Sleep disorders

· Hormone imbalances

· Hyperactivity in childhood

· Skin sensitivity to metals and rough fabrics

· Ringing in the ears (tinnitus)

· Intolerance to estrogen, shellfish, and chocolate (but may crave it)

22) Pyroluric Depression

Approximately 15 percent of the Walsh data base is made up of this type of depressive biotypes. This is a stress disorder that can result from emotional trauma . This group suffers from a double deficiency of zinc and vitamin B-6 that may be genetic in nature. Pyrolurics exhibit an unusual combination of symptoms that makes diagnosis quite straightforward. This group responds to nutrient therapy faster than other biotypes and will likely benefit from psychotherapy.

Symptoms of pyroluric depression include:

· Severe mood swings

· Inability to cope with stress

· Rages

· Absence of dream recall

· Tendency to sunburn quickly with an inability to tan

· Morning nausea

· Sensitivity to bright lights and loud noises

· Fearful (including impending disasters), pessimistic, and isolative

· Great inner tension

· Reading disorders

· Academic underperformance regardless of intelligence

· Disturbed menstrual periods or amenorrhea

· Delayed puberty

· May have symptoms of rapid-cycling bipolar disorder

18) Toxic Overload Depression

Approximately 5 percent have this type of depression. They exhibit toxic metal poisoning as their primary chemical imbalance. Often the culprits are overloads of lead, mercury, cadmium, or arsenic. Hair mineral analysis and blood work can help diagnose these anomalies.

Nutrient therapies and chelation therapies may be helpful. Avoiding certain foods – like shellfish and mercury contaminated fish may also help. Avoid sources of cadmium: cigarettes, shallow wells, metal welding, brazing, artist’s paints, fireworks, mining operations, and various industrial plants.

Symptoms of toxic overload depression include:

· Sudden eruption of depression during an otherwise period of calm and wellness

· Abdominal pain and cramping

· Increased irritability

· Headaches and muscle weakness

· Low energy

· Failure to respond to traditional counseling or psychiatric medications

Treatment begins with a hair mineral analysis test and an amino acid plasma test.

A few psychologists make a reference to a set of symptoms known as morning depression . While not a widely accepted type of depression, there are insights that can be discovered from studying this fairly predictable set of symptoms that are prominent upon awakening and fade somewhat throughout the day. Information can be found online.

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Apparently, I’m not the only person that has shown an interest in parsing out the many types of depression we, as psychotherapists, encounter. In addition to William Walsch, Lucy Foulkes, PhD of University College London, share my interest in identifying depression subtypes. Foulkes wrote, In Losing our Minds: “Depression is not really one single disorder. Instead, depression may be better thought of as an umbrella term for a host of different disorders – in the same way that the term ‘cancer’ incorporates disorders such as leukemia. Sarcoma, and breast cancer that are distinct from one another. Having clearly specified sub- disorders would be useful, because each subtype may have different causes and, importantly, different treatments. If we diagnose specific types of depression, more targeted treatments could be offered, reducing suffering and improving outcomes.”

Dr. Walsh cautions prescribers: “SSRI antidepressants can benefit persons with undermethylation or pyrrole biotypes of depression but can harm folate deficient depressives and be ineffective for other biotypes. Treatment outcomes could be greatly improved if physicians would order inexpensive blood tests to identify the patients who are good candidates for SSRI antidepressants.”

CHEMISTRY LABS

1) Direct Healthcare Access II Laboratory

350 Kensington Road, Suite 118

Mount Prospect, IL 60056

info@pyroluriatesting.com

2) Bio-Center Laboratory

3100 N. Hillside Ave

Wichita, KS 67219

(316) 682-3100

3) Doctor’s Data, Inc.

3755 Illinois Ave

St. Charles, IL 60174-2420

inquiries@doctorsdata.com

4) Vitamin Diagnostics

540 Bordertown Ave, Suite 2300

South Amboy, NJ 08879

(732) 721-1234

Or, Google “hair mineral analysis,” or www.evenbetternow.com, to learn about self-administered mail-in test procedures. This assessment tool is particularly important for persons suspected of having a toxic overload depression.

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MDMA - Locus of Control

Sat, 04 Dec 2021 17:12:10 GMT

Healing from adversity requires an understanding of healthy forms of self-control

Trauma can rob us of a sense of personal agency, self-leadership, the view that we are in charge of ourselves.

Preparing people for an MDMA medicine journey, I have often mentioned Black Elk, the famous Lakota medicine man who came from a family of bear healers. Wherever he went, Black Elk felt centered in himself. But when I first heard his quote, “When I was on top of Harney Peak in the Black Hills, I was at the center of the universe,” I took his words literally. I thought that the mountain itself had to be a magical place – a power location. So off I went to South Dakota and climbed to the peak hoping for a magic show of some sort. Perhaps I would be transformed by the energy of the place, much like what people say happens to them at Machu Picchu. Nope! Turns out, what Black Elk was really saying is that wherever he is he feels grounded in the strength Creator gave him. It must have taken a lot of work to end up at that point – the spot of internal calm. In Black Elk’s cosmology there were many roads (ways/religions) to reach Wakan Tanka, or what other tribes referred to as the Great Spirit. But what was most important to note was the place of connection, where the roads crossed. And where they bisected (philosophically speaking), that cognitive location was regarded as sacred. Similarly, when the difficult path of suffering crossed the path of comfort, that “place” in life was regarded as holy, and it afforded people strength and confidence. It mattered not where any person was on their Healing Path, it mattered that they were on a Healing Path.

Black Elk also believed the outer world and the inner world, the physical world and the invisible Great Mystery in the beyond, are actually one of the same.

If anything linked Black Elk to the great mystics of all time it was the conviction that no division exists between the seen and the unseen, the Christian and the atheist. And when he would retreat to a quiet and isolated place on the Pine Ridge Reservation to commune with Wakan Tanka, he could feel power arising from all directions, connections, intersections, and energies. That place of retreat helped bring him home, to his internal locus of control. So wherever he went, there he was, centered in himself.

Black Elk’s people also participated in a peyote cult, the Native American Church, otherwise known as the “medicine eating church.” While indigenous people sought altered states and numinous energies for spiritual growth, perhaps we are now at a time in history when MDMA represents a similar search for contentment, for anchoring in ourselves and our bigger world. This is a new time with a new medicine for seekers.

More academically, psychologists have defined locus of control as the degree to which persons believe they have control over the direction of their lives, rather than being buffeted about by external forces. Similar concepts includes the World Tree or axis mundi. They refer to a line through the earth’s center that connects it, and us, to everything deep in the earth as well as to everything in the heavens above.

African Zulu healers, sangomas, reference something comparable. I believe they see each human being who is undergoing a healing ceremony as being at a meeting point of all the energies, coming from all the directions, converging as a powerful surge of convulsive vitality. When a sangoma (usually a woman) holds a silver staff it is a symbol representing this powerful point of convergence. That is why I carry my Zulu staff into every treatment room, to summon and attract all the energy forces, relatives, and ancestors bedside to support patients.

Perhaps the most inspirational explanation of these ancient concepts comes from the great mythologist, Joseph Campbell who wrote about heroic journeys: “We have not even to risk the adventure alone, for the heroes of all time have gone before us. The labyrinth is thoroughly known. We have only to follow the thread of the hero path, and where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god. And where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves. Where we had thought to travel outward, we will come to the center of our own existence. And where we had thought to be alone, we will be with all the world.”

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“Placing the locus of control for my emotions into someone else gives them the power over me and my emotions, and it denies my autonomy and power over my life. It creates a victim mindset.”

- Alex, a patient in A Dose of Hope: A Story of MDMA-Assisted Psychotherapy by Dan Eng le

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Additional Reading: Footer - Paragraph | 12 pt | Lora | Double Light Height

All Hyperlinks - Paragraph | 16 pt | Lor a | Italic Underline | Color #bf7152

MDMA, Quantum Physics, and the Spiritual Path

Sat, 04 Dec 2021 14:16:32 GMT

It is easier to get over the “past” once we realize there is no such thing.

It is easier to get over what “others” have done to us when we realize there are no “others.” We are all one, like blades of grass in a gigantic field, all under the influence of the sun, wind, and our own misleading minds.

When we can get past this human thing called language (few other animals get confused with complicated symbols for real things), and when we commune with the Universe/Greater Whole/Creator/God, we become open to knowing. By rejoining the full one dimensional existence beyond ideas of ego, it is possible to “download” a larger healing way of being in this world. When humans are “under the influence” of MDMA they are under the influence of a deeply familiar, albeit largely forgotten, Unity Consciousness.

This may be why some medicinal patients have new/old experiences that transcend ideas of space and time (spacetime). It may help to understand why minus language a knowing is experienced and is later described as “realer than real.” Perhaps we have rejoined our larger Creator personage.

When the Whole diminishes the painful ideas of self and “others”, while also diminishing ideas of what was done to us by all those “others,” it also shrinks time, including notions of the past becoming closer to what might be better described as something circular called now.

Maybe the “past” is just our way of dumbing down our experiences of the vast interconnected universe so we can feel like we understand it.

And in the process we imagine our self as something bigger and more self-important than we really are. We put one big universal life into a very personal story of suffering, lifted from a far greater story of a collective and harmonious existence.

Recall when you were “under the influence” of MDMA you may have lost this culture’s shared perspective of time – it wasn’t normal, at least as we humans have described time and normality with our languaged minds. Or maybe you lost your sense of space when you navigated to “distant” locations. MDMA doesn’t cause hallucinations; it introduces reality – a larger reality than we have ever considered. The vastness of it all, and the connection to all, is often described in one word, awe.

Unlike weekend shamanic classes that describe a lower, middle, and upper world – multiple layered dimensions – would it not be more accurate to see that reductionistic notion as a creation of the human mind? Might it be that the real world is one gigantic organism, vaster than we ever imagined with our puny human minds? Maybe life is all one circular and self-contained dimension, intricately connected and communicating with itself which may help us understand why morphic resonance and the passage of information can happen instantaneously. Seen in this much bigger way long distances may not exist as we know them and thus we can feel like we are in two places at once when in actuality this is only one vast interconnected place.

We are not what we previously thought of as the “other.” There is no separation, no distance, as much as our human minds would like us to believe otherwise. We may not be, as our football stadium chants suggest, “Number One!” We may be simply…one.

Welcome to quantum physics, what many authentic shamans, rain drops, and armadillos already know to be reality. Deep knowing can supplant shallow believing. In the world of quantum physics many regard it as a spiritual path. And isn’t it interesting that so many MDMA psychonauts report profoundly spiritual and deep healing experiences during and after their medicinal ceremonies? Maybe we are spiritual beings residing in human bodies waiting to more fully emerge.

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Additional Reading: The Quantum Revelation by Paul Levy

MDMA: Helping Your Brain Get Unstuck

Sat, 04 Dec 2021 13:40:36 GMT

MDMA, helping your brain get unstuck, and the Default Mode Network (DMN)

One of the world’s renowned authorities on psychedelics and empathogens (like MDMA) is neuroscientist Robin Carhart-Harris. Along with Dr. James Cook of London, they offer an explanation of what some psychedelics do to the human brain that is similar to MDMA’s more gentle reorganizational abilities. They argue that there is an authoritarian part of the brain, much like a dictator, that can dominate our thinking and disallow new and competing ideas to be entertained. Entrenched ways of thinking often need to be disrupted and mind altering substances help this process along.

This entropic brain hypothesis suggests the brain must experience a bit of anarchy before old patterned thinking can be effectively challenged, disrupted, and dislodged, so an alternate set of beliefs and expectations can emerge. To update our thinking we must open new circuitry in the brain and allow deeply rooted and fearful ideas to be contested, especially regarding what terrible things are most certainly going to happen next. MDMA can foster this process.

This is a role several psychedelics and empathogens can play. They can relax the brain sufficiently to disable relentless and controlling beliefs. It is like an anarchic situation first must unfold before a despotic brain can consider fresh ideas and create a new emotional state.

The stuck state I refer to has been coined the default mode network (DMN) – hyper active cell activity occurring deep within the neocortex which are the underpinning of our entrenched beliefs about the self and our relationships. Under the influence of modern brain plant and pharmaceutical medicines the DMN loses its tight grip over the remainder of the brain and old beliefs begin to topple. Additional evidence seeps in during a suggestive state (the hypnogogic, theta brain wave state) that counters persistently problematic and limiting ideas. Unjustified negative expectations are successfully carefronted and can be cast aside. Like a domino effect, a relaxing of DMN’s grip creates a cavalcade of new neuronal firings, brain wide, that allows other regions to systemically help “get it right,” to see circumstances from a more balanced perspective. At this point, the brain can function more like a symphony.

It is as if a dam breaks and a new river of thinking begins to flow. Negative expectations are often replaced with more realistic and hopeful thinking.

As a result, patterned authoritarian thinking diminishes and with it anxiety and depression often lift, sometimes permanently. Problem-solving abilities are enhanced. The result is like having a new lens to see the world. Our habituated way of seeing life is replaced with greater clarity of thought and emotion. For trauma victims it can feel like freedom. Maybe this doesn’t happen for absolutely everyone, but certainly the vast majority of patients experience this kind of relief upon experiencing MDMA or psilocybin in a quiet and very safe clinical setting.

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Indigenous Inspired Healing

Sat, 04 Dec 2021 13:10:00 GMT

When I write about indigenous healing – what some call shamanism – I’m not making reference to romanticized groups of traditional healers wearing dramatic attire while surrounding themselves with exotic paraphernalia

The truth is most authentic shamans I have encountered wear t-shirts and jeans while sitting on the land. I am referring to quite ordinary appearing healers whose traditions go back tens of thousands of years and have stood the test of time. Modern physicians and psychologists now talk about evidence based and best practice methods of healing, which often fall out of favor as quickly as research once proved they were the “cat’s meow.” Trends can be enlightening, wisdom lasts.

Along these lines, Richard Gerber, M.D., writing in his seminal book Vibrational Medicine said: “The discoveries we are making today are, in fact, reincarnational expressions of older spiritual knowledge which originated in ancient yet advanced civilizations.” There is great value in examining what has worked for indigenous populations for millennia. And as was advised in The Journal of Traditional Eastern Health and Fitness: “Don’t let ancient knowledge become a thing of the past.”

I have been especially influenced by Native American cultures (including the Maya, Ojibwa, and Southwest tribes) and Zulu sangoma approaches that invoke reverential and macro quantum conceptualizations of healing. Having witnessed and participated in indigenous medicine practices at many antipodal locations on several continents, I have assembled 10 fundamental tenets that coalesce these ancient forms of healing together.

1) Create a sacred environment and hold sacred space for all patients. The word sacralize refers to the effort we are obliged to expend making the healing (vs. curing) process stand apart from contemporary Western approaches which, all too often, can be coldly mechanical and technical, impersonal, and perfunctory. Reverent invocations, sacrosanct music, the lighting of candles and incense, as well as a patient placing symbolic sacred items on an altar, can consecrate the proceedings. And when patients are treated with great respect and lifted up in dignified ways, especially after traumatic events, they are more inclined to grow and heal. If the event is organized as important, the patient is inclined to feel important.

2) Enact rituals within ceremonies.

An overarching event (ceremony), planned well in advance, creates an aroused and expectant atmosphere which mentally and emotionally leaves the patient poised for transformation. Rituals are planned in collaboration with patients to develop “buy in,” and can also be part of a long held cultural legacy which serves to transport a patient on a well-traveled path in the direction of healing. The healer fills the roles of carpenter and choreographer of the chosen rituals, setting a tone and flow that moves the patient toward recovery. Collectively, a signal is being sent that this is a big event that may yield big results.

3) Heal in community.*

The forces and laws that affect a single person’s health also impact the entire tribe. Healing in isolation may have worked well for the Buddha and Saint Francis of Assisi, but most persons feel comforted when in the supportive presence of others who have gathered to bear witness to a sacred healing ceremony. Indigenous healers know of the potentiating impact of being surrounded by loving and hopeful persons who calm the patient while creating optimism about the outcome. Community is nourishment for the soul.

4) Abide by Mother Earth’s (Pachamama’s) Original Instructions.

Still alive in indigenous oral history via storytelling, the old ways possess accumulated power from being used again and again over time. Original Instructions refers to our innermost nature arising from Nature. This cosmology rests on a variety of solid tenets that are informed by Earth’s energies, rhythms, and reciprocal laws. There is the understanding that humans don’t go in search of Nature because they are Nature, we are all integral parts of an interconnected ecology.

5) Begin by removing all obstacles to healing.

Modestly, Ernest Schweninger, M.D., said, “Doctors don’t cure patients, they help remove obstacles to healing.” This is ancient wisdom that is shared by shamans worldwide whether they have had direct contact or not. It is a knowing. Many factors can get in the way of healing. Wherever I have traveled authentic shamans, before doing anything else, look for thoughts and emotions that can impede healing. Anger, fear, resentment, and despair – soul loss – move a person out of a state of harmony and away from the state of ease to disease. Almost everywhere indigenous people believe disharmony is one of the primary causes of illness. Often it is a ruffled emotional state that weakens the immune system and leaves a person vulnerable to viruses, cancers, inflammations, etc. As often when a person is calm and has experienced a satisfying soul retrieval ceremony, not only is their mental health restored, but their physical health along with it.

6) Treat people on or near the Mother whenever possible.

There is an electromagnetic force, a vital energy that emanates from Earth. Scientists refer it as the Schumann Resonance. When our internal electrical system is restored to a synchronized state with the Mother, healing progresses much more rapidly. (This is the theory surrounding contemporary earthing technologies as well). A person can buy a device to restore electrical balance or simply sit or walk barefoot on the Mother. The animals and elements (the shifting wind, flexible water, transformative fire, and solidity of stone) all stand poised to assist us in imagining, then seeing and feeling, the big picture of where we fit in with the natural world.

7) Be authoritative, but remain humble.

Effective healers know that what befalls patients can just as easily impact them. They acknowledge their own woundedness, vulnerability, and limits to their knowledge. Yet, the deep truths they have come upon – which commonly were born from serious injury and illness – have served to inform them of the healing process and propel them forward. It is with these personal knowings that a traditional medicine person can present as authoritative, but unassumingly so. While a contemporary physician may at times engage in a hospital performance, perhaps somewhat narcissistically, traditional healers recognize that the only theatre employed is not about themselves, but intended only to uplift the patient.

8) Promote entry into altered states.

Psychologists, beginning with the insights of one of our founders over 100 years ago, William James, recognized that there is more to consciousness and reality than the human brain is alert to. He referenced a thin, filmy, and translucent barrier to this reality and the remaining unseen world. Sometimes, as shamanic healers have known for at least 30-40,000 years, we will need help getting to the other side. An altered or enhanced state allows humans, at least for a few hours or days, to suspend disbelief and immerse themselves in a seemingly distant reality with its potent reorganizing forces. Mentally and emotionally they often merge with a larger world, what many refer to as the collective consciousness or unity consciousness. They reconcile themselves with the larger forces, what was previously unknown on a conscious level.

9) Invoke the spirit of ancestors or “all my relatives.”

Spirit work is not particularly alien, but it tends to be misunderstood. Spirit is the force of change brought on by subtle energy movement, vibrations. A thought or movement (praying, shaking, dancing, drumming, chanting, etc.) can lift us up into other realms. In essence we shake out the cobwebs of our cultural trance, our shared hallucinations, and reconnect with the spirit of ancestors (people, animals – sentient beings and elements), rejoining the larger world and the history of all our relatives in their previously unexperienced forms. We are not to be alone in space and time if we are to heal. Connection, extending beyond our immediate community, heals.

10) Energy movement.

A shaman addresses the considerable interplay of energies (spirits). To reset the human body and mind to wellness, the body’s vibration must be altered. This is what anthropologist Bradford Keeney calls “shaking medicine” and what the San Bushman of Africa have been using in communal settings for years. They sing, drum, and dance throughout the night and heal themselves using only the medicines (num) of vibration and social connection, to each other and their “deceased” human ancestors.

For many years my attempts at curing probably could have been more successful had I focused less on trying to eradicate things and more on healing – restoring myself and others to wholeness, harmony, while exploring matters of the soul.

To eradicate natural conditions I had, almost exclusively, sought voluminous amounts of Western book information alone. And like physician Richard Sandor has said, “I had taken an accidental overdose of information and had lost my appetite for the unknown.” Similarly, for me the result was a life and career of limited personal experience. More than just the medicines presumed to be found in textbooks, I needed medicines that walked, that were relational, and resonated with my deepest sense of earthly knowing.

While, of course, I still believe synthetic drugs can work for specific kinds of physical and emotional distress – MDMA being a marvelous example – plant medicines and their spirits, can quietly converse with humans opening us to other healthy ways of being on the planet. And when we are well connected to all that is around us, far and wide, answers will be awakened within us – what shamans and sangomas refer to as the “inner healer.” Like Paracelsus, a physician of the 14th century wrote, each disease “bears its own remedy within itself…Health must grow from the same root as disease.” A Native American once explained to me that Mother Earth has placed remedies on Her for every disease that inflicts man. The pharmacy is all around us and in us.

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“All my patients were, in their own way, living out an ancient idea that is coming back into favor through current medical research – the idea that the healing system is connected to a belief system, that attitudes play a vital part in the recovery process.”

- Norman Cousins, M.D. in The Nature of Healing (Parabola Books)

“The old is gold.”

- Kambona Mollel, my Maasai guide from Tanzania.

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* In Original Wisdom: Stories of an Ancient Way of Knowing, Robert Wolf wrote: “Toward the end of my stay in Malaysia a dedicated young English doctor created a health system designed for aborigines. The hospital was not run like a Western hospital. Neither the patients nor the medical staff wore uniforms, and patients were admitted with their families, who could prepare customary food for the patient.”

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MDMA: Gateway Drug to Being Heartsoft

Sat, 04 Dec 2021 05:10:01 GMT

Biologist and philosopher Humberto Maturana said, “Love is the only emotion that opens intelligence and expands awareness.”

We often forget the important tenet: When we love we expand. And as we expand there is increased social participation. More compassion, more giving – filling up by giving away. That is a principle underlying the Northwest Coast tribe’s potlatch, a giveaway festival.

Two of the most valuable tenets in Maya teachings are lifting one’s heart and thankfulness. They link people back to the mythical substance we all share, reminding us that all of us came from a benevolent Creator. And love, they contend, is that common substance.

Spiritual elder, Raimon Panikkar, a Catholic priest and Buddhist monk, believes it is our human calling to love in the ways of heart reasoning, meaning to deeply appreciate and empathize, to radically understand, but not to classify or synthesize. By extending this heart-fully-opened presence to others we are enlarged. As Helen Keller put it: “I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.”

As you continue your growth after receiving the medicine, several ancient traditions may further guide you. The metaphor of the Great Spoked Wheel reminds me of the Medicine Wheel atop the Big Horn Mountains of Wyoming. It represents all people being interconnected, spokes of a large wheel. We fall apart if spiritually disconnected, if we don’t see and follow ancient guiding principles.

The Maori – indigenous people of New Zealand – have a custom of sharing their breath upon meeting “others,” as well as when breaking contact. By sharing breath, mouth-to mouth, the Maori entrain their hearts, feel enlarged, and find their common rhythm.

There is the South African indigenous ethic of Ubuntu. It is often translated in one of two similar ways: 1) I am because you are, you are because I am, or 2) a person is a person through other persons. This can include abusive interactions as well as loving exchanges. We are completing each other in a variety of often unexpected ways.

And there is also the Lebanese greeting, “Ya Ayuni!” which translates to “Oh, my eyes!” or “Oh, my darling!” Implicit in this greeting is the recognition that we need each other to see clearly; one view is insufficient. Again, we complete each other.

This brings to mind my favorite definition of what “I love you” means: I love you means that when I am with you I am in touch with the most beautiful, the most capable, and the most loveable parts of me.

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When Native Americans speak of the Original Instructions, I take it as meaning Earth’s primal, feminine ethics for living in a life sustaining and life enhancing way. The beat of Mother’s heart is the rhythm we are instructed to fall into. By doing so we know peace. A similar idea comes from poet Eugene Ruggles who wrote:

I have no enemies left,

only some friends who are late.

Come in, there is no lock, hang your coat

beside the fire and pull up a chair to its edge…

We shall drink tea and clear the path

Leading back to the heart’s first address…

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By electing to ingest MDMA you are, in essence, embarking on a new path to change the trajectory of your life. That is a big decision that must be made after deep reflection. The decision comes following the realization that past ways haven’t worked very well for you, so the search begins for a new path. As the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu cautioned, “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” Your commitment, before consuming the medicine, is to seek a better understanding of yourself. And the magic won’t be found in the pill, it is in the commitment to becoming more heartsoft. So seek to accept and love yourself despite errant paths taken in the past. Eventually, after changing direction, you will have what it takes to love the rest of the world more fully -- in an enlarged way. Bottom line: a prerequisite to opening and breaking ceremony is to commit to loving in a bigger way than ever before. Unafraid of where it might take you, including homeward, to a larger and more unified internal community.

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“All knowledge is useless if one cannot lift one’s heart.”

- Don Tomas, Maya Quichean shaman

“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.”

- George Sand

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MDMA and the Release of Trauma

Fri, 03 Dec 2021 02:53:25 GMT

Trauma can be defined as an intense, earth-shaking, powerful, life-changing, and unforgettable event that leaves us changed

Outside of North American culture traumas are often regarded as potentially either a positive or negative event, commonly being built into rites of passage to elicit a major life change. An MDMA spiritual experience is often regarded as a “positive trauma” that paves over a pre-existing painful event, mitigating its impact. Positive traumas can be intense, earth-shaking, powerful, life changing, and unforgettable events that reset the mind and body and places victims on an entirely new life trajectory.

In the West patients can be labeled, and sometimes stigmatized, as a result of their trauma(s): Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, and CPTSD for starters. These conditions are often portrayed as chronic, enduring, and virtually unshakeable. As a result, and all too frequently, they have staying power. Not all culture universally view adverse events as the prelude to a downfall, but they may be regarded as challenges that, if approached mindfully, can lift people to a higher level of life satisfaction. Some cultures regard this rebounding phenomenon as normality, and a few psychologists in the West are now calling this uplifting reaction posttraumatic growth (PTG).

Indigenous societies of northern Canada share a word, wetiko, which by one definition, can broadly be understood as a thought virus – an anti-information virus. It is likened to an unconscious bug in the mind that subverts clear thinking, blocking a complete and accurate understanding of events. Some Native peoples portray it as something akin to psychic blindness or insanity. It can arise from an individual’s long entrenched and repeated way of thinking, or its origins may in a culture’s programming – a collective psychosis of sorts. It substitutes false information for the real thing, like a negative hallucination can do.

MDMA can cut thru distortions and nonsense. Like a burrowing truth detector, it helps people arrive at a more thorough and satisfying outlook on their past, present, and future. Much of what was previously disregarded because of self- and cultural-programming can now percolate up. Compassionate discernment often results, followed by healing.

Commonly, in most North American cultures, trauma victims are encouraged to attend “survivor” groups. In an attempt to heal their trauma, meetings are held that encourage individuals to tell their story of pain over and over again, recycling it from thought, to mouth, to the ears, and back into thought again. Attentive listening seems to validate the narrative in its entirety. This self-generated and group supported negative feedback loop (indoctrination) originates in the victim’s mind, is validated and supported by rapt listeners, and round and round it goes. Attempts to be quietly supportive can unwittingly collude in a process that may not be healing; in fact, it may exacerbate the problem.

Venting alone, especially without respectful carefrontation, may not heal; it frequently entrenches people in a story of brokenness and helplessness.

When a person says something negative about themselves, often enough and long enough without being challenged, sometimes out of politeness, the result can be entrenchment and immobilization. Victims can remain stuck in the mental mud of their own making concluding their unhappiness completely resulted from what originally happened to them, rather than what they did to themselves in response to adversity. This kind of unintended self-victimization must be approached very respectfully and delicately.

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Jung concluded it is important not to settle for being “disturbed.” Rather we should actively disturb, or unsettle, the thinking that has left us feeling disturbed. He introduced the concept of active imagination. He encouraged his patients not to passively listen to everything their unconscious told us – even from generations past – but to fully engage with and participate in a creative and challenging dialogic relationship with its contents. The goal is to move unconscious thoughts into conscious realms where they can be examined more clearly, not just reflexively.

Depression almost always results in unclear thinking because our brain’s deep limbic region is highly activated by feelings of anxiety, fear, and despair. MDMA, however, can spark a more accurate dialogue with the subconscious and intergenerational unconscious minds. Literally, we talk to ourselves and, to put it bluntly, call out our own B. S. When MDMA does its work, it quiets the implicated lower brain region, activates the clear thinking prefrontal cortex, and new insights come online. During the process patients inevitably become their own therapist, often advising themselves with greater insightfulness than the psychotherapist they had previously paid to do this work for them. That is empowering!

MDMA treatment can cause persons to develop a sense of oneness or connection with the rest of humanity, or even the universe. This unity consciousness disrupts our brain’s natural and unhealthy tendency toward duality. And living in duality the world tends to be viewed in simplistic notions of “good guys” and “bad guys,” perpetrators and victims -- in other words, a very dangerous place victims are inclined to disengage from. While reductionistic notions may momentarily feel good, they distort reality and delay healing.

Rejoining the Whole, the larger community, or “all of our relatives” as Native Americans term it – with clear thinking and discernment, minus the heavy overlay of emotionality from the brain’s deep limbic region – a person can unlearn fallacious thought patterns and be restored. Many previous victims say the MDMA experience reset their minds to what feels like a more natural, calm, and balanced condition.

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“It is the theory [that we have been indoctrinated in] which decides what we observe.”

- Albert Einstein

“This work [of Peter Levine] stands in sharp contrast with therapeutic approaches that encourage survivors to repetitively relive their traumas in great detail and that run the risk of creating conditions under which traumatized individuals are kept in a state of high fear and physiological arousal, in which the agony of the past may well be reinforced.”

- Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

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Additional Reading: Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past by Peter Levine

MDMA and Intentions

Thu, 02 Dec 2021 23:54:26 GMT

Researchers have noted that there is little need to enter psychotherapy assisted MDMA treatment with highly specific goals and intentions.

Patients are encouraged to trust the medicine, their preliminary psychotherapy, and even more importantly, their own brain and body’s innate self-corrective wisdom. Simply having the intention to do this growth work, wherever it may lead, is enough; it sets your psyche in motion. Surrender to it.

Nothing will come up that doesn’t already reside in you. There will be few big surprises. Your inner healing intelligence will alert you to what you need to look at and what you need to address for healing. Not much advance effort is needed from you. Truly. All of Nature, you included, wants to return to balance and homeostasis. Allow the process to take you home.

A new experience with old traumas will develop. And if unpleasant memories unfold, it is important to breathe thru them, ride on the waves of your smooth and deep breath. You may want to greet a sad memory by saying something like, “Welcome teacher. What do you want to reveal to me. I’m open to it all.” It is unlikely that you will feel overwhelmed by terror or shame from the past.

There is no need to fight anything; that may be an old and unsuccessful way of trying to evict memories rather than integrating them. Instead you will work with the memories from a position of enhanced insight, compassion (for yourself and others), and agape love – a pure and divine form of love that seeks nothing in return.

Let go of worrying about if, or how, you are going to heal

Instead of trying to direct or harness your thoughts, trust the medicine will untangle knots and healing direction will become clear. Let go of worrying about if, or how, you are going to heal. If you tighten up and resist what emotions or memories are surfacing, the bodyworker may ask you if some muscle relaxing touch would help you. Perhaps one of the attendants will ask you to hum or groan as a way to move energy. A change in the background music can get things moving in a new direction.

Sometimes talking is calming. Sometimes talking leads to intellectualizing and slows the release of emotions. We try to limit our talking but will, from time to time, remind you of our caring presence and briefly respond to your inquiries. We trust the process, more than ourselves, will take you where you need to go.

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Additional reading: A Dose of Hope by Dr. Dan Engle and Alex Young

MDMA: Healer and Attendant Roles

Tue, 30 Nov 2021 19:07:38 GMT

How healers engage with actively involved patients (healing partners) during an MDMA treatment

The starting point is to understand the difference between curing and healing. From the Latin, curing means to remedy, or get rid of an ailment. Healing, coming from the Anglo-Saxon word haelen – to make whole – and can be defined as restoring health or returning a person to harmony, much like Navajo shamans do in sacred ceremony. Healing is remembered wellness. Curing can be heavily laden with impersonal techniques whereas healing implies caring about someone, suggesting a level of compassionate concern or loving presence that is held within ethical parameters. Healers surround the healing partner with intentions oriented to the needs of their greatest good.

One of my earliest mentors, psychiatrist Jonas Robitscher, wrote: “Good therapy is an engagement of two people that leaves both changed; if only one changes therapy has been a failure.” That too is one of the core principles guiding MDMA-assisted psychotherapy, particularly when embedded in an indigenous inspired ceremony. What happens between the healers and the healing partner constitutes an ecosystem of sorts with energy transfer that heals all involved.

This approach implies healers must be in touch with their inner spirit, the soul. Being calm, centered, and remaining humble in the knowledge that while this subtle-energy field plays a vital role in the change process, it is the universal healing field, potentiated by three people working together that amplifies the vibratory, and therefore, the healing intensity. The healers create scaffolding, an exoskeleton of borrowed strength that the patient absorbs, finding it supportive and uplifting.

Centering begins with a focus on the heart, the intuitive middle brain. When the patient, therapist, and attendant are all in synchrony with heartfelt loving intentions a resonance, cross-connection, or communion is established. Three people in sync are the equivalent of at least six people in the room elevating each other to a new level of consciousness and health. Resonance is built into our DNA and the easiest way to access it is through the heart chakra. This energy vortex is thought to be connected to Mother Earth’s pulse. And this bodily region seems to translate feelings, attitudes, and beliefs into electrical waves (vibrations). natural reaction to this entrainment process results in the patient (and the healers) bouncing back to a more still place of harmony, balance, and integration.

In this regard, mathematician Arthur Eddington challenged our thinking by positing: “We used to think that if we knew one, we knew two, because one and one are two. We are finding that we must learn a great deal more about and.”

Healers seek sentience, that is, we feel our way into the patient’s condition using intuition and knowings -- not perceiving solely with the mind but from a multisensory state. This involves detecting, like radar, subtle non-languaged cues and knowledge from the healing partner’s vital-energy field. This inherited native language allows for a profound understanding, melding together shared insights deep within all of us. When the psychotherapist and attendant are very serene and unruffled, like in a mild but alert trance, no matter what comes up there is an “effortless effort” that allows them to acquire a transpersonal connection. In other words, they go beyond the limits of just one person’s identity. This profound deep process requires the patient’s trust and have the willingness to engage themselves in their own healing process – awakening their inner healer while in intimate tandem with compassionate caregivers.

"The research community and indigenous communities agree that a guide who has never experienced a psychedelic will lack the ability to understand, empathize, or have rapport with participants.”

~ Mark Haden in Manual for Psychedelic Guides

Using quantum physics terminology, one might see this as entanglement, and not just between three people during an MDMA treatment, but as part of an information field so vast and interconnected it is difficult to conceptualize. During a 2015 NPR interview, a physicist by the name of Adam Frank, clarified: “Right now, at this very moment, you are submerged in an invisible sea of information. Thoughts, ideas, ambitions, and instructions—they are whispering past and through you on waves of modulated electromagnetic energy. From wireless internet to satellite TV you are bathed in an endless stream of purposeful intentional signals. And it’s not just you. From Earth’s surface out to geosynchronous orbit, 22,000 miles overhead, the whole planet glows with information made manifest in light – actual light, as in radio waves, microwaves, and so on. But does all that mean Earth is thinking? Does that mean it’s awake? Maybe it’s time to consider the noosphere*.”

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Manual for Psychedelic Guides by Mark Hayden

A Healer’s Journey to Intuitive Knowing by Dolores Krieger

Research grade MDMA has been convincingly shown to be effective method for the treatment of PTSD

Sun, 26 Sep 2021 18:03:05 GMT

New perspectives on old medicines

Thanks to the pioneering research of the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic studies (MAPS) , Imperial College , Johns Hopkins University , and UCLA , many of the medicine and plants feared by earlier generations are experiencing a resurgence of interest as highlighted on NBC's Today Show .

The unjustified government hysteria of the 1970s and beyond concentrated on inadequately understood psychedelic and entheogen medicines. Today professionals are much better informed about the safety and effectiveness of many medicines like MDMA, psilocybin, LSD, ibogaine, and ayahuasca.

One of the comforting comparisons between psychedelics (like psilocybin and LSD) is that MDMA is more gentle, predictable and reliable, keeping patients safely grounded in reality at all times. While their consciousness is enhanced (bigger, more expansive, and complete), patients also seem to experience what I liken to be a “split-screen” form of cognitive and visual processing. With remarkable ease, persons can immediately switch from one way of receiving and applying information to another.

Not to be confused with often contaminated street drugs like Molly or Ecstasy, research grade MDMA has been convincingly shown to be an extraordinarily effective method for the treatment of PTSD. After just three six-hour medicinal treatments, approximately three quarters of patients will no longer qualify for a PTSD diagnosis. When indigenously inspired ceremonies and rituals are added to the treatment protocol, many psychotherapists believe the results are even more extraordinary. (This is outlined in my book, Awakening the Healing Soul: Indigenous Wisdom for Today’s World .)

Frequently, misleading names are used for the non-hallucinogenic and non-addictive drug, MDMA. Some experts categorize it as an empathogen, others a psychointegrator or entactogen, and still others refer to MDMA as a clarigen. Collectively, the terms suggest you can, with improved clarity, comfortably integrate (not forget) a traumatic experience while possibly having a spiritual awakening in the process. The brain, in lay terms, seems to be reset or rebooted to a pre-trauma or even pre-addiction state. During and after treatment, fear and anxiety are tamped down and traumatic memories no longer feel as frightening and overwhelming. They are re-experienced in an entirely different way, through the lens of a corrective and emotionally undistorted form of consciousness. Often addictive behaviors precipitously decline and panic states disappear following treatment.

Collectively, the terms suggest you can, with improved clarity, comfortably integrate (not forget) a traumatic experience while possibly having a spiritual awakening in the process.

The medicine also appears to awaken a person’s natural and innate healing abilities, what some persons call the wisdom of their inner healer. With an expanded consciousness, a patient's defensive walls drop. They will often observe their abuse (and often their abuser(s) and themselves), in more compassionate and even forgiving terms, but certainly not in a dangerously naïve way. Clarity is added to the mix and a new and an updated trauma narrative is integrated.

Every treatment must include an attendant who can help ensure the patient’s sense of comfort, security, and safety. Attendants are usually trained in adjunctive modalities such as massage, breathwork, yoga, or sound therapy. Additionally, they document illuminating and insightful comments made by the patients which are reviewed the following day. Often patients will say things like, “Wow, that’s brilliant! Did I really say that?” Following the experience, they recognize just how skilled and empowered they now are to be the centering force in their lives, what psychotherapists often call the locus of control. Rather than feeling helpless, patients develop and recognize a greater sense of personal agency.

One patient who had been diagnosed as suffering from PTSD offered her reflections on MDMA treatment:

“I understand that trauma is a powerful and impactful life event that can leave people feeling profoundly damaged and changed. Now I am beginning to question whether trauma can also be seen as a positive and life-altering event that leaves people feeling profoundly changed for the better, even enlightened. I wonder if this approach [indigenously inspired and with psychotherapy on both ends] could be regarded as another powerful event, a healing trauma of sorts, one that paves over previously painful events. My therapy has been every bit as memorable as my trauma, but it feels like this recent shift is positive and lasting.”

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MDMA is currently undergoing Phase III research and is almost assuredly headed for FDA approval in the very near future. Consequently, therapists and the public in general must ready themselves for the advent of what is termed MDMA-assisted psychotherapy. In response, I am poised to offer training on its ethical use, the capabilities and limitations of the medicine, and when it is contraindicated.

With MDMA-assisted psychotherapy being just around the corner, I harken back to the words of Terence McKenna who adroitly said, “The situation that we now must deal with is not one of seeking the answer, but of facing the answer.” Let’s be well prepared.

Geral Blanchard Blog

MDMA and Intergenerational Growth

In recent years psychotherapists have become increasingly aware of the risk of transmitting trauma intergenerationally.

So, if trauma is contagious, and it certainly is, instead of passing forward meager survival skills, perhaps the remarkable thriver, an outlier, can pass health forward. If a person can “catch” a disease, they might also be able to “catch” good health.

MDMA - the Trauma of Awakening to Trauma

There can be two levels at which trauma is processed.

This is often a time when MDMA can be helpful as it calms emotions while examining newfound memories of pain. The medicine seems to assist people in the process of partialization , slowly breaking down events to “bite-size” chunks of insights and understanding.

MDMA, Morality, and Forward Thinking

Traumatized persons, with their pervasive pain, typically seek mood altering experiences.

Discovery of the divine that lives in all of us provides a reboot to life. With that as a supportive and guiding force, there isn’t such a compelling need to hide, isolate, lie, and distract oneself. What was once a breakdown is now seen as a potential shift-up.

MDMA and Empathy

There are many emotional reactions to a drug-free spiritual awakening experience and a ceremonial MDMA journey.

While this article focuses on empathy – both the feeling and the cognitive component – it is obvious to those who have awakened from a spiritual emergency that a variety of related emotions arise.

With this sense of connection and an inner quieting, a physical and emotional well-being – contentedness – often unfolds.

MDMA and the Evolution of Projection

It’s impossible to talk about projection without incorporating a discussion about Sigmund Freud and Donald Trump. In this article I will skip Donald but throw in a little Carl Jung.

Freud, of course, named several distinctive defense measures – reality distorting strategies to keep us safe. Two of the big ones are displacement and projection .

In a way, these seemingly irrational behaviors have an emotional logic of their own. It only becomes abnormal when it interferes with our social functioning, often pushing people away from us.

MDMA and Shifting Gears

Does this empathogen work in a similar manner as psychedelics, blasting us off to a sudden and dramatic awakening of the mind and soul?

Not necessarily. Much like massive stress, psychedelics and MDMA can knock people off an unhealthy path and offer them an entirely different trajectory, but there is a lot of arduous individual work that must follow the use of these propellants.

While a lengthy spiritual practice forms the fertile soil for a shift, something more might have to occur to move them more suddenly. Like many areas of human experience, readiness is important.

MDMA and Core Changes

Many events in life can change us, some in profound ways, others somewhat superficially.

Some positively, some negatively. Some temporarily, some permanently. Let’s break it down.

Extensive suffering, turmoil, and severe trauma hold significant potential for individual growth. That contrasts with conventional Western thinking that intense suffering is the prelude to one’s downfall.

MDMA and Evolution

Many great minds have come out of India. Like countless spelling bee champions, Mahatma Gandhi, and Aurobindo Ghose who later took on the name of Sri Aurobindo.

When severe trauma with its intense suffering and deprivations strips people of their earthly attachments and causes them to be attached instead to pain relievers (addictive substances and experiences), extraordinary awakenings can occur.

MDMA and Timelessness

“Where did all the time go?” That is the ubiquitous question every patient asks after a treatment.

It is impossible to measure spirit-force like physical forces or objects, according to quantum physics, because to observe and measure it changes it. From a one-with-all Native perspective, we are it, it is us. All forces are intertwined.

MDMA and Dark Nights of the Soul #5

Dark nights of the soul as Saint John of the Cross called those long, despairing periods of our life, are never easy, in fact they are usually dreadful.

They are so necessarily awful and so damn long because some of us don’t do subtlety very well. If we are open to these moments, even a tiny bit, they can serve as an internally calculated and blaring wakeup call that will guide us to solace.

Sooner or later, a Divine Light shines new insights upon us. This offers a much-desired ray of hope. Paradoxically, from the depths of despair comes a light of recollection – a vision of where we must go to find relief.

MDMA and Natural Vivification

In this time of homogenized living and spiritual bankruptcy, there is also a hankering to come alive and connect to something bigger than what is found in day-to-day life.

That yearning coming from inside us often leads to psychedelic searching, hoping that with enough jangling of the brain something new, deeper, and more satisfying will emerge. I call this sought after altered state of consciousness (ASC) a vivification . It can be approached with or without drugs.

Mind and brain are different, although parts of an interworking system. With the mind receiving informing and in-forming guidance (plasticity) from a universal field of consciousness, especially when the little ego is becoming unglued, an ancient and greater knowledge can come into play.

Against Happiness

My spirits were lifted when I came across the book, Against Happiness , by a professor of English at Wake Forest University, Eric Wilson.

This is an examination on how we, as individuals and as a culture, relentlessly chase happiness – what Buddhists would call a desire problem, an attachment, or an addiction. We have a lopsided view of positive moods when matched against sadness.

Some people, while justifiably hating the dark nights of the soul, bravely grapple during those times trying to find some new meaning in all the crap. When folks do so, they become “meaning makers” as I wrote about in Transcending Trauma .

Paradoxes of Trauma and Addiction Recovery

According to author Anna Lemke, M.D., author of Dopamine Nation, “The reason we’re all so miserable may be because we’re working so hard to avoid being miserable.”

Pain commonly precedes pleasure. The idea was first documented by Plato who said, “…wherever the one is found, the other follows up.” But are we too impatient to wait for good results? Like sadness or depression, we would prefer to entirely do without these natural states.

Geral Blanchard Interview on Mindrolling Podcast, 2023

Anthropologist and psychotherapist, Geral T. Blanchard, LPC, joins Raghu to discuss how to awaken the soul with indigenous wisdom for today’s world.

Here is a link to the interview:

https://beherenownetwork.com/raghu-markus-mindrolling-ep-471-indigenous-wisdom-for-the-todays-world-with-geral-t-blanchard/

“One of the basic tenants of shamanism is that the first thing you do with any patient is you remove all obstacles to healing, and almost always fear is the number one obstacle.” ~ Geral Blanchard

MDMA Treatment: A Kind and Gentle Exorcism?

Along the way exorcism got a very bad reputation. Thanks, in part, to the 1973 movie, The Exorcist -- with Linda Blair’s head-spinning, projectile vomiting, levitating, and speaking in tongues -- we lost nearly all vestiges of what a real and healthy exorcism could look like.

In an ecstatic or highly charged ceremonial environment, ideally with a sacred tone and sometimes with music in the background, a dramatic shift in one’s internal energy can occur, like being kindly struck by a bolt of lightning.

MDMA and Healing Animals

Animals can be powerful guardians and healers. They may show this in mystical forms and visions, or their presence may be as guileless as a puppy anchoring a patient’s heart while sitting at the end of the bed during an MDMA treatment.

After healing from a serious illness, with the help of rituals and animal guides, Susan discovered a safe and mysterious ground beneath her; she now sees the world “through softer, more trusting eyes.”

MDMA and Your "Inner Wyoming"

Sharon Salzberg in her 2023 book, Real Life, wrote about the inner constrictiveness and the lack of openness many people feel, particularly after an abusive or neglectful childhood, or following a hurtful experience at any age.

New Title

Often, what you “see” is not actually perceived in conventional ways and what you “hear” does not always come by way of sound or language. Old distortions and delusions are commonly replaced with mental clarity.

MDMA and the Inner Shaman

I have observed how people using this relational empathogen find wisdom and transformative assistance, not from without, but from within themselves.

MDMA and the Ineffable

I have heard people say, “Since my first session, something has been stirring deep inside me that I can’t find words to describe."

"I feel it, I know it is important, and I think it is changing me, but for the life of me, it is unspeakable. Words don’t do it justice.”

This is because, at a conscious level, we may not always have easy access to life altering answers for our earthly conundrums. Yet millions of years of experience on earth has given humans concealed gifts of insightfulness that can show up when we most need them.

MDMA and the Power of Energy

Healing can be regarded as the process of making positive changes in the body and mind, the interconnected unit I refer to as the bodymind .

This can be done with the imagination (imagery) -- what we see in our mind’s eye that may be subtly changing us for the better.

With that in mind, patient and healer are both engaged in a reciprocal transmission of energy, both are healing, especially if the therapist is in a calm and harmonious state.

MDMA - Relationship Building from a Wide Lens

As an empathogen, MDMA is regarded as being uniquely designed to assist in the healing of serious relationship rifts, particularly those arising from trauma.

To re-member our Self, is to become conscious of, to reassemble, and to restore all our parts – those lost, and those waiting to be discovered. To try and reweave our ties, first we must remember our shared home, our essential identity.

MDMA and Your Life Review

Jimmy Stewart played the temporarily confounded George Bailey in the Christmas movie classic It’s a Wonderful Life .

Like watching a movie with a degree of mental and emotional detachment, MDMA guided self-observation can be indispensable to the healing process.

MDMA and Different Levels of Consciousness

Mystical experiences are states of grace when the bodymind system tunes its usual frequency to the primary field of Being, what the Pueblo mystic, Beautiful Painted Arrow, calls the Vast Self.

“One of the basic tenants of shamanism is that the first thing you do with any patient is you remove all obstacles to healing, and almost always fear is the number one obstacle.”
~ Geral Blanchard